Water Sector
by aznillusion183
Summary: A modern AU fic. In the city of Navarone, Sanji and Zoro meet under coincidental and peculiar circumstances. How do they deal with social stigmas, financial problems, or...each other?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Yes, this is one of the oft-used plots including a modern universe in the city. I've read a few really, really good ones (and a lot of really horrible ones) and I just had to write one because they were so freaking fun to read, you know? I think my favorite is Memories or Persistent Resistance. There was a HS fic floating around somewhere a while ago too, but I've forgotten the name, unfortunately. After all, shouldn't I pay homage to my predecessors?

But ever since ending The World I wanted to try something like this. Even though The End of Seclusion is still going on, and there are some stories that I've been meaning to write (cough Santoryuu-Zoro) but…this was bugging me even as I was going through college interviews.

I won't be updating this very often (yes, I know, terrible!) but I just wanted to put that out there right now. The chapters will be fairly long compared to what I'm used to, though. So have fun! The next chapter won't come up for a while, but I'd love to get some feedback about what you guys think.

---

_Hah…hah…_ Sharp intakes of breath, painful in the cold air.

_Thump…thump…_ Boots pounding on the hard pavement in synch with the throbbing of a strong, laboring heart.

Zoro jogged through the park, his breathing harsh in the sharp morning air as he ran. The weights that he had strapped to his thighs were making his muscles burn, and the heavy, lead-filled vest that he had opted to wear this morning made his shoulders ache wearily. Still, he was almost done with this morning's cardio, so he might as well grit his teeth and get over with. He needed to be in good shape if he wanted to be able to work out with his students without showing any weakness. Weakness on his part would only reveal a lack of discipline.

The stopwatch bouncing on his chest beeped, and he heard the sound with a gasp of relief. He was done. He turned around and began the long trek home through this concrete jungle that he called home. His head itched under the beanie that he wore, but if he took it off then he'd get lightheaded from the sudden shock of cold to his head.

Navarone was one of the largest cities in the world. It was known for its cosmopolitan nature, although some critics argued that its division into Sectors tended to create divisive lines based on wealth and social status. Still, the citizens of Water Sector were large and opulent enough to take care of any problems that arose.

"Classes in a couple of hours…need to stop by home to pick up my stuff…damn, my bus isn't running today…maybe I'll ask Franky for a ride…scratch that, Tashigi might pick me up on the way to the academy…" Zoro mumbled to himself, walking down the street. "Breakfast? Maybe I'll steal something from Tash…"

A sharp reminder from his stomach and a loud complaint rectified his last thought. A passerby stared at him as he walked by at the sound.

"Fine, I'll stop somewhere and get some food. Geez!" Zoro slapped his belly before he dug in his pocket and looked at the pathetic handful of change that he had dug out. Looking around at the street, he realized that few businesses would be open at this time of the day, and cursed the time. Even if he was in Fire Sector—which was known as the culinary center of Navarone—it was too early to find a good cheap place to eat, but too late to go back home and grab something. He looked around in despair, and brightened when he saw a woman walk briskly into a small café on the corner of the street. A bell tinkled, and the flash of her red hair brought his eye closer to the sign that read "OPEN" in neat white script on a board in the window. Score.

Zoro didn't recognize the name of the café—the _Paris Baguette_—but judging by the tantalizing scent wafting through the door as he pulled it open, it didn't really matter. The wooden floor was polished without being slippery, and there were comfortable looking couches lined along the walls. Small tables were arranged and made him think vaguely of toadstools in their orientation, although their shape and size did nothing to suggest that sort of connotation. The walls were painted a pastel yellow and were bare save for the occasional decorative wall hanging and a single, large painting of a fish-shaped boat on the furthest wall. That bright red hair brought Zoro's attention to a granite counter topped with jars of baked goodies—biscuits and cookies—adjacent to glass display cases full of more food and drinks. The aroma of coffee was heavy on the air, and he felt rejuvenated just to smell it. Zoro scanned a menu propped up on the wall that had been written in multi-colored chalk and waited for the woman in front of him to finish her order. When she finally moved to sit in a chair, wrinkling her nose slightly at his sweaty state, he went up to the counter while still staring at the menu. He needed something with protein and carbs. Minimal sugar, or he'd crash.

"I'll have the…" Zoro began, looking down to address the worker waiting at the register. His words died on his lips as he saw what might have been the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

_Smooth, unblemished skin. Long, fine hair the color of fresh butter. Teeth so white that they made pearls tremble in shame, peeking out under soft, peach lips in a smile. Long, pale lashes that blinked slowly over eyes that were a shocking shade of blue. A graceful neck, leading down…_

Zoro read the nametag and blanched at the absence of breasts. The tag read _Sanji._

"Um…can I help you?" the man asked, looking as though he was losing patience. Sanji was still enamored by the redhead's presence, but was becoming irritated as he tapped his fingers while waiting for this sweaty moron to say something coherent. He was also very uncomfortable with the way that this man was staring at his chest.

"I-I'll have a coffee. No, wait, a fruit juice," Zoro corrected himself, remembering that coffee would only dehydrate him. "And a…" He squinted at the name of one of the pastries in the window. "That sandwich thing right there. With the cheese and ham."

"Do you mean the _Breakfast Croissant?"_ Sanji asked, his lip curling back in distaste. "And what kind of fruit juice would you like to order from this _coffee_house?"

Zoro was too distracted to notice the tone of the other man's inquiries. "Yeah, the breakfast croissant. I'll have orange juice, if you have it. Or apple."

"Right away, sir." As Zoro handed over his money and watched the other man move to pull out a croissant and place it delicately on a plate, he saw how lean and long the other man was.

_He doesn't have a woman's body, but he seems so feminine,_ Zoro thought hazily to himself. He accepted the glass filled with orange juice and ice with his breakfast and made his way to a table, settling down unsteadily. He opted to sit in a stool, because he had a feeling that it wouldn't be good if he chose to sit on one of the leather couches next to that woman. Who was still giving him dirty looks. He ignored her as he shook his head, dislodging thick drops of sweat and allowing them to fall to the floor.

"Naaaaami, I have red bean pastries fresh from the oven~!"

---

Sanji yawned wearily as he unlocked the iron grating that covered the door to the _Paris Baguette_, glancing at his watch and feeling disgusted for being up this early. As the rusting metal screeched in complaint, he felt like joining in on the cacophony. With all the construction being completed in the area, it would still be a while yet before business really picked up, so why bother preparing?

He scolded himself for his slip in work ethic. Even if he had only one customer, that customer deserved the best treatment. This was especially important considering that he had only opened up for business a few weeks prior. It had taken him years to save up enough to be able to move from Earth Sector to Fire Sector, and even then it had taken a generous loan from the Arabasta Mutual Banks.

Sanji pulled the dough that he had set to rise from the cupboards and twisted the dials on the oven to heat. His hands were steady as he fell into his work—washing his hands, preparing the flour, eggs, milk, and such, kneading the dough, shaping it, gently mixing in berries—and he sighed happily as he breathed in deeply. There was nothing like baking in the morning, especially when he was warm in the bakery rather than freezing his butt off outside.

A few hours later, he stretched his tired arms and kicked his legs to get the kinks out of his joints. It was time to get the coffee ready to brew.

A soft _ding_ from the timer he had set alerted him when the bread was to be taken from the oven, and when the coffee beans were roasted enough. He flipped the sign on the door to let passerby know that he was open for business.

A tinkle at the door alerted him of the arrival of his goddess, who was on her morning commute to work at the newspaper. She always stopped by every morning, much to his delight. He told himself that it was his charming personality and not the free goodies he gave her that kept her coming.

Wait. There was a small rut in his morning ritual. A very small, very smelly rut that was still as big as an ape.

That _man_, who desecrated his temple with his sweaty state and ratty jogging suit, his bulky build that _couldn't_ have been muscle, his beanie that made him look like a criminal…Sanji was smiling when he first saw the man, but that smile quickly faded as he kept looking.

The man was an idiot. Who on earth was incapable of realizing that the little placard that he had placed in front of the trays of goodies meant that the breakfast croissant was, indeed, called a _Breakfast Croissant?_

"That sandwich thing right there. With the cheese and ham."

Sanji gave him his food and went to the oven to check on the new recipe he had developed after visiting the Wien Bakery in one of the more ethnic parts of the cities. He had found a recipe that used red bean, a previously unknown baking ingredient to him, and was intrigued. He placed one on a plate and blew on it gently before picking it up and taking a bite. It was sweet and buttery, light on the pastry side and a bit heavy on the filling side, but good and well-balanced overall. It might be fit for his goddess. He plucked another pastry from its brothers and placed it lovingly on a round dish—it was part of his special collection, and was one of the last legacies from his old man's business that he had been willed. It was a clear blue color, and shone like an amorphous crystalline liquid.

"Naaaaami, I have red bean pastries fresh from the oven~!"

---

Zoro heard the mating call of a dodo and shuddered. He had fallen out of love with this moron. This _male_ moron. No—he had never been enamored with the fool at all! The fact that the person had been a man and not a woman rubbed at Zoro in just the wrong way. When he had seen that blonde hair, he had to admit that he'd been a bit excited. He had dabbled around in terms of dating—Japanese, Native American, and even an Egyptian girl—but he'd never seen anyone with such angelic blond hair or such a becoming figure in its slimness.

He had also never dated a man before. Well, that was that thing with Usopp, but they'd both been spectacularly drunk and he suspected that someone had slipped him something in his drink, because he _never_ became that inebriated. Ever. The savory taste of the croissant curdled in his mouth at the memory, and he grimaced. Unfortunately, Sanji had looked up at him just as he made that face, and he froze in his scowl—in nervousness? Fear? Of course not!...he fervently told himself.

"Something the matter with your croissant, _sir?_" Sanji asked. Zoro could have sworn that he heard "shitty bastard," but it must have just been him.

Zoro chewed and swallowed carefully. "No. 's good."

Sanji turned around and rolled his eyes as he walked off.

Zoro stared at those swaying hips and slapped himself mentally. He should go to a club tonight and take a nice girl home. He was sure that Franky knew some nice girls that he could meet. He finished his meal and gulped the rest of his juice, wiping the bit that dribbled down his chin on the back of his hand. Covering his mouth with a fist as he belched, he picked up the dish and cup and plunked them on the counter before dropping a few coins in the tip jar and leaving with a sidelong glance at Sanji.

Maybe he'd go see Chopper; he had a bit of spare time. Did that kid learn anything about psychiatry in med school?

---

Sanji watched Zoro walk briskly out of the café with a sigh of relief. Finally, that barbarian was gone. Hadn't he ever heard of napkins?

"Sanji, could you get me another cup of coffee?"

"Yes, princess!" He picked up her empty plate and cup on the way.

As Sanji twirled to obey, a particularly smooth part of the sole of his show rubbed against the droplets of sweat that Zoro had left on the floor, creating a miniature hydroplaning effect. Just the right set of circumstances to create disaster. Sanji's eyes widened in horror as he felt himself slipping. He tried to grab the edge of a table to stabilize himself but missed and slammed his forehead into the nearest table.

"Oh my god! Sanji!"

His last lingering thought as he heard the dishes crash to the ground was _Fuck, there goes my good dishware._

---

"No, Chopper."

"What you clearly have is a classic case of Freudian—"

"No, Chopper."

"Did your father ever—"

"No, Chopper."

"Have you ever had homo—"

"_No,_ Chopper. You've known me since high school. When have I ever so much as looked at a guy twice except when they pissed me off?"

"Maybe it was hidden sexual tension."

"I didn't have the hots for any guy. Not even Luffy."

"'Not even?' What about Usopp?"

"Never speak of that again."

"O-okay. I can't really explain your sudden inexplicable attraction to this man, but maybe he's just good-looking enough to attract even straight men. You know? The pretty type. Like, the one who has to watch out when he drops the soap in prison."

"You've been talking to Franky, haven't you?"

"How could you tell?"

The tiny office that had the name _Tony T. Chopper_ on a bronze plaque on the door was currently filled to capacity with medical books strewn around the room and falling off the shelves, bubbling test tubes, candy wrappers, and two humans. Chopper shook his long brown hair out of his eyes as he peered down at Zoro carefully. Despite his burly stature and almost animalistic looks, he was a veritable medical genius who was in an internship with the Department of Diagnostic Medicine at the Navarone Public Hospital.

Before they could get any further, a pager beeped from Chopper's waist.

"Oh, damn! I forgot I'm supposed to be on clinic duty!" Chopper shrieked, pushing Zoro out the door as he looked for his coat. "Uh, you can come with me, if you want. This shouldn't take too long." Zoro followed in amusement as Chopper hurled out the door. A nurse caught him and handed him a folder, briefly explaining the next patient's circumstances before moving on.

"The patient appears to be suffering from a blow to a head. Possible concussion. He's out cold right now."

Chopper rushed into the room and immediately pushed the red-haired woman who rose to greet him out of the way. "Excuse me, excuse me! Is this the patient?" Chopper crashed onto a stool and pulled the man's eyelid open, pulling out a flashlight and examining the man's reaction. Zoro stared—hadn't this woman been at the café?—and gaped at the man lying on the table.

Sanji was laid out with a lovely bruise spreading across his forehead, giving him a humorously worried look. Zoro smirked, until the woman smacked him across the head. "Ow! You bitch, what the hell?"

"This is _all_ _your fault!_ You and your…your sweatiness! It's because of the nasty sweat that you left on the floor that this idiot slipped and fell on his face!" This statement was punctuated by another punch. Zoro grabbed her hand roughly to stop her, and she gave a yelp of pain.

"Nami…?" a hoarse voice groaned as Sanji sat up. "Who dares hurt my Nami…?"

_His Nami?_ Zoro thought. _So he's straight, then. Good…_

"You idiot, she's trying to kill me."

"Don't dare to try and harm a woman, you bastard," Sanji hissed as he stood unsteadily. Chopper tried to push him back, but Sanji shook his head and glared at Zoro. "You…" The whites of his eyes rolled back, and he slumped over, to be caught in Chopper's arms.

Zoro caught him—ignoring the pleasantly sweet scent of vanilla and the undertone of coffee, plus a little something smoky—and dragged him back onto the examination table. Nami looked at her watch and groaned.

"I have to go to work. Get this idiot back home, would you? He lives over the café," Nami said. She handed him a key. "I locked up the café with his key, but you should be able to get in. You had better take him back. He's your responsibility." Before Zoro could argue, she swept out of the room. He could hear her high heels clicking rapidly as she ran down the hall.

"Um…it looks like he has a mild concussion, but the only reason he passed out again was from moving around too suddenly," Chopper said. "You can take him home."

"Why the hell am I taking him?"

"Because that other woman left. And because it's your fault, apparently."

"Don't just make assumptions!"

---

Zoro ended up taking Sanji home in a taxi. He carried the blond man slung awkwardly over one shoulder (good thing Chopper couldn't see, or he would have killed him) and opened the door to the café, taking care to avoid hitting Sanji's head against any hard or sharp objects. Zoro gently placed Sanji on a couch as he explored the café and found the set of stairs that led to the second floor behind an inconspicuous door. He carried Sanji up, unsuccessfully try to make sure that Sanji's head didn't hit the corner of the door, and plopped him onto the bed once he found it. Zoro looked around the apartment curiously and found that it was neat and modernly furnished. A small kitchen in the corner was all stainless steel and clean countertops, with a bowl of fruit (now missing an apple that was currently in Zoro's mouth). The living room consisted of a worn black leather sofa and simple stereo that was clearly built for a single inhabitant. The bathroom and bedroom were also similarly furnished. The general style suggested good taste, but little excess income.

So the witch didn't live here, then.

Zoro also noted that there were several boxes strewn around, although they were mostly empty save for a few Styrofoam peanuts. Had this guy just moved here, or what?

As Zoro nosed around the closet curiously, he heard Sanji groan behind him and saw the blond clutching his head. Zoro went into the kitchen and drew a cup of water before going to the bathroom and digging a bottle of aspirin from the medicine cabinet (curiously, there was a bottle of massage oil that was nearly empty. Hm).

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sanji growled, but accepted the water and aspirin gratefully. As he gulped the pills down, one eye glared angrily at Zoro. "And why are you eating my fruit?"

Zoro leaned against the doorjamb and gave as good as he got. "I'm here because your girlfriend had to go to work, and I had time to burn. I have to leave soon too, so just be glad that I took you home rather than just leave you at the hospital. I'm taking an apple because I'm feeling a bit peckish. You're not supposed to be moving around, by the way," he added as Sanji sat up.

Sanji snorted. "I can take care of myself. You can go now…you. I don't even know your name."

Zoro hesitated, arguing internally with whether to continue arguing with the man or to be polite.

"The name's Roronoa Zoro. Er…Zoro Roronoa, I mean," Zoro corrected himself. He held out his hand, and Sanji grasped it firmly in surprise at the sudden change in courtesy. "Your girlfriend said that your name was Sanji?"

Sanji brightened up visibly. "Do we look like a couple? Really?" he asked enthusiastically. "Yes, my name is Sanji. Sanji Baratie."

Zoro was slightly unnerved by Sanji's reaction, but shrugged it off. "Yeah. The way you were fawning over her like an idiot means that you're either going steady, or you're an idiot."

Sanji's smile instantly turned into a frown. "Oi, I'm not an idiot, asshole."

"So you admit that she's just a girl that you waste time wooing."

"I'm not wasting time. All women deserve the same wonderful treatment."

"What a sap…"

"You want to fight?"

"I don't fight pansies who faint from a knock to the head."

"Oh, so you _do_ want to fight! You think you're so tough, in your hobo clothes and with that stupid beanie?" Sanji reached out to grab at the beanie, but Zoro immediately moved back.

"Tch. I'm leaving," Zoro snarled. "So much for gratitude." He turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

Sanji looked at the door and sighed. He'd normally never treat anyone that he had just met that day with such discourtesy, especially if they had been kind enough to take him home, but there was something about that man that just irritated him.

"Roronoa, eh?" If that man ever stopped by the café again, then Sanji might give him a free cup of coffee as an apology.

When he saw the shattered remains of his favorite dishware lying on the ground as he went downstairs, he decided that he might give him a free cup of coffee _laced with rat poison_ as an apology and as revenge.

---

"I didn't know you liked coffee." Ensign Tashigi glanced over at Zoro, who glared right back and looked moodily out the window. She had picked him up in her Volvo after he had called her from a payphone, and had been curious to see him walking out of the coffeehouse.

"I don't. I just went for some food before my next class. Aren't you late for work?" Tashigi worked for the Navarone police station. Navarone was considered one of the safest cities in the world because of its powerful and efficient policing force, and she was proud of her part in it.

"I called Smoker-san and told him that I would be a little late. When he heard that it was because of you, he said it was okay because you're such a moron."

"…thanks, Tashigi."

"No problem. Here we are."

The building they stopped in front of was a large white building with the words _Strength through Spirit_ on a sign in front. The multi-story building was dedicated to the study of martial arts, and Zoro had been lucky enough to land a well-paying job here after going through months of hellish interviews and evaluations. The owner, Juraquille Mihawk, had traveled all over the world in search of talent and brought whatever he found to this one building in Navarone with funding from Sir Crocodile, an businessman with a long history in Water Sector. It was rumored that he was searching for an heir to his expansive estates back in Spain, although Mihawk himself discounted such claims as preposterous.

Mihawk had dubbed the organization Baroque Works.

"Sensei!"

"You're late, sensei!"

"Did you get lost again?"

Zoro glared at the group of children who looked up at him the moment he walked up the stairs and entered the room. They were already dressed in their uniforms and ready for action, and he sighed. He hadn't had time to clean up, and hoped that Mihawk wasn't thinking about visiting his class today.

"Go do your kata. Fifty reps," Zoro ordered. "Your forms had better not be as sloppy as they were last week."

"Hai, sensei!"

"I think the hot and sweaty look suits you, Zoro," an effeminate voice trilled from the doorway. Zoro groaned as he looked around.

"Don't you have class, Bon?" Zoro asked, looking at the flamboyant Bentham "Bon" Kurei. Bon was a master of both Savate and ballet, which gave him a flexible assortment of abilities to draw from in combat—he was literally quite flexible. He was as renowned for his skill as his cross-dressing tendencies. Bon winked at Zoro as he wrapped his arms around the other man's neck.

"Oh, don't be so cold! My darlings are all stretching right now. I'll give them a real workout pretty soon, but I wanted to say hello to my favorite Baroque Works teacher," Bon said happily while pecking Zoro on the cheek. He dodged the fist that Zoro sent flying in his direction. "Tsk tsk, you'll have to be faster than that if you want to catch _me!"_ He pranced off, twirling. "Un, deux, trois!"

"I hate it when that guy does that," Zoro muttered under his breath. "Oi! You! Your arms are getting tired, aren't they? Your form is sloppy—twenty more for the whole class!"

The children whined as they yelled at the kid whose form had fallen apart.

---

Sanji baked, brewed, smoked, and paced. He had received a call from the hospital—damn, had an intern been examining him? He said that he was a doctor, but you could never really tell—to check up on him, and he had told them that he felt just fine. Great, even. He didn't need to take the day off. He had to prepare for the rush of people who were bound to stop by after work.

"_Did Zoro take you home? I know he tends to get lost…" _a youthful voice said worriedly over the phone.

Sanji chuckled. "Don't worry doctor, I feel just fine. You must have done a fantastic job, doctor…?"

"_Dr. Chopper. Saying that doesn't make me feel happy, you asshole!"_ Sanji stared at the phone in his hand that had gone dead, wondering if he'd offended the guy somehow.

A bell tinkled, indicating that someone had entered the building.

"Coming!" Sanji called, putting the phone down and trotted downstairs to stand at the counter. No one was there. "Hello?"

Someone stood, coming from out of sight from beneath the counter. The click of a cocked gun brought his attention to the barrel of a pistol that was pointed at his nose.

"Freeze. This is a holdup."

---

Tashigi was driving around in her police cruiser with Jango. Normally, the eccentric officer would be with Fullbody, but Fullbody had gotten in trouble after he had been a bit too zealous in his wooing of Captain Hina. As Jango sang along loudly with the disco music he insisted on playing in an off-key voice, the music was cut short as the radio crackled.

"…_armed robbery…Wilshire Boulevard…Paris Baguette…Fire Sector…" _Tashigi caught those words through Jango's indignant exclamations.

"We're close by. Let's go, Jango."

They sped to the scene and found a small crowd already clustered around the small café. Tashigi frowned as she left the car and went up to the officers who had already arrived.

"What's going on, Coby? We heard something about an armed robbery, but…a coffeehouse?"

Coby turned around and nodded, his lean face grim. "Apparently, this place is quite successful and only manned by one worker, making it a prime target for robbers. We arrived before they could escape, but now they've barricaded themselves in and have taken the owner hostage." A loud shout drew their attention to the upper story window.

"Leave! Everyone, leave, or we'll kill this guy flashily!"

"Is that a clown?" Tashigi asked, blinking hard. Maybe she needed more sleep?

"He looks like the Joker from Batman," Helmoppo chuckled. "Wow. What a goofy-looking guy."

The man in question turned red under his thick makeup and pulled a tied-up Sanji to the window. "Shut up, you! How dare you talk about my nose! We'll kill this guy unless you let us leave peacefully!" Sanji squirmed uncomfortably, not liking how vulnerable he was in front of that gorgeous policewoman. If only that stupid Zoro guy hadn't distracted him, or if he hadn't had a major headache from his concussion, then he could have kicked this guy to the moon and back without even breaking a sweat.

"You bastards, why are you robbing me? I haven't been in business long enough to have made that much money," Sanji snarled at Buggy. The man looked vaguely familiar, although Sanji was sure that he would a remember a man like this. The clown leered at Sanji before replying.

"We don't like your kind. Go back home, you traitorous mud boy!"

Sanji groaned. "What do you mean, traitorous? So this is because of my background, red-nose?" Buggy screeched at this sudden insult and punched Sanji in the gut before turning back to the window.

"How many men are with him?" Tashigi asked Coby, not taking her eyes off of the clown.

"We looked this guy up. Apparently he's the head of the Buggy gang, but all of the members are accounted for—in jail for various offenses—save for three. The leader Buggy with his two henchmen Cabaji and Mohji," Coby replied. "What are you planning?"

Tashigi cleared her throat before shouting at Buggy, "You and your men are all cowards!"

Two other heads shoved Sanji out of the way and began to angrily yell obscenities at her. She grinned grimly as she saw the three men who were jostling for space in order to yell at her, and pulled her gun up in one fluid motion. The gang members fell under the accuracy of her shots. Jango, Coby, and Helmoppo all stared.

"You _shot_ them?!"

"They're dead!"

"Wow, that's some good shooting. But you killed them!"

Tashigi chuckled darkly, holstering her gun expertly. "Don't worry. I got this new gun from Vegapunk. It looks and shoots like a gun, but it's actually a tranquilizer dart. All the accuracy, without any of the casualties. Nifty, isn't it? I always wonder what would happen if I mixed up my regular guns, though. C'mon, let's go clean this up." She walked into the building and tried the door. It was locked. "Is anyone going to help me?"

The three men jumped forward to force the door open. Not because they were scared or anything, of course.

---

"Thanks for giving me a ride home, Tashigi."

"It's no problem, Zoro. If I let you walk home on your own then you would probably end up in Jaya again..."

"Oi! That was only once!"

"…or Omatsuri…or Hyoukaidou…"

"You make it sound like it's a regular occurrence."

"It's not? You're lucky that Mihawk likes you so much. Smoker-san would have fired you ages ago."

"Good thing I don't work for a prick, then. Well, less of a prick than Smoker, at least."

"He's not a prick. Oh, by the way…"

"Hm?"

"There was a little incident at your coffee shop."

"I've only been there once." Tashigi didn't miss the suddenly tightened grip that Zoro held on the armrest. "What happened?"

"Oh, just an attempt at armed robbery. Three men from the Buggy gang."

"What? Are you serious? Did that pansy let himself get robbed?"

"I took the three robbers out with tranquilizers. Easy stuff, they were pretty dim."

"Nice. Even if that is fighting dirty." _Should I go check up on him?_ Zoro thought anxiously.

"Darts against bullets, with a hostage? I don't think so. I seem to recall someone who uses three—"

"Here's my stop." Zoro clambered out of the car, grabbing his duffel bag. "Thanks again. I'll see you later."

"Next time, don't just call me when you need a ride!" Tashigi yelled before driving off.

Zoro looked up at the apartment complex where he currently resided. Although Zoro normally disliked any excess or overindulgence in luxury, he couldn't deny that it was comfortable. He unlocked the gate and walked through past the kidney-shaped swimming pool with a Jacuzzi in the curve of the pool. Since they were close to the University of Navarone, the people who lived here were around his own age. He walked up the stairs—he hated waiting for the elevator or talking to people on the ride up—and made his way to the seventh floor, down the hall, and to the door at the very end. He kicked off his shoes and put them in the small sunken square of space designated for that very purpose. His room was on the corner of the triangular building, meaning that he had a good view of the city with two expansive windows. His flat was almost completely empty. A dresser and mattress were in the bedroom, making the relatively large space seem even bigger—the closet was embedded in the wall, so that didn't take up any room, either. He rarely cooked, and what few utensils and cooking pans that he had were stored safely in the cupboards in the kitchen. A slice of stale bread was still in its bag on the counter, and he stuffed it absently into his mouth before washing it down with an open can of beer from the fridge. A single beanbag chair sat in the corner and he dragged it to the middle of the room before digging into its squishy depths for the remote control. An old television sat on the floor and was plugged into the wall; he had to hit it a few times before it began to work properly.

The Galley-La Apartments were known for their luxurious settings at prices that matched; still, Zoro's furniture was no indication of his wealth; in fact, he could have even lived in more expensive parts of the city without too much strain on his banking account. However, housing was given only after the landlords had personally approved, and he generally liked the people who were admitted into the building.

Zoro heard a loud banging on the door. Speak of the devil.

"Shut up, I'm coming!"

Zoro opened the door and a ball of energy burst through, wrapping around his midriff.

"Zoro! You're back!" Luffy peered up under a skewed straw hat. He wore a red shirt with the words 'Galley-La' printed on it over brown board shorts. His flip flops slapped the floor with his every step as he jumped back and forth excitedly before he kicked them off and tossed them in front of the door.

"Yes, Luffy, I'm back. I went to work…you know…what normal people do for a living."

"Shishishi! Being a landlord is work, too!"

"Your brother does all the work. He even cleans the pools himself."

Luffy pouted. "But he said he only does that because the girls like seeing him shirtless."

"He still goes around shirtless anyway."

"Well, still," Luffy said, as though that magically explained everything. "Want to go out and get something to eat?"

Zoro grinned as he grabbed his coat. "Are you treating me?"

"Stingy! Well, Paulie finally paid his rent, so sure!"

Zoro was glad to be home. "Let's meet up with the others, then. We can call Chopper, Usopp, and Franky."

"I'll call Robin and Vivi, too. What about Tashigi?"

"Er…sure. Tashigi, too."

"Cool! Let's go, then!"

"Where do you want to eat?"

"Duuuh. Rain Dinners. They have the BEST food."

"You only like it because it's a buffet. They almost threw us out last time."

"I promise I won't eat ice cream directly from the soft serve spigot. Please, Zoro?"

"Hey, it's your paycheck."

"Yay—wait, hey!"

Zoro chuckled as they texted their friends to meet them.

---

Sanji sighed as he looked at the mess that the robbers had left behind. He would have to clean up tomorrow morning or later that night. Now, though, he had work to do.

Although the Paris Baguette was a successful joint, he had quickly realized that he needed something to supplement his income if he wanted to live comfortably in a place like Navarone's Fire Sector. Thus, he had taken a second job as a chef for one of the busiest restaurants in the city—Rain Dinners. Although it was a buffet and the owners were more concerned with producing quantity over quality, he still insisted on maintaining flavor. The first day that he began working there, he used scraps of food that other chefs had deemed as trash and turned them into dishes that were emptied almost as soon as they hit the buffet tables. Rain Dinners began to enjoy income on levels that were astounding and unprecedented because of his treatment of food and his hesitancy to waste anything. They had even set up a small booth for him to allow the diners to see him at work, pleasing both Sanji and the female clientele to no end.

Sanji took one look at the ingredients and grills laid out before him and knew what he would be cooking—takoyaki. It was a fast dish that required little time or skill, but which could be turned into something more spectacular than regular street food with the right touch. The fact that watching it being made was fun was always a bonus. Sanji immediately pulled his sleeves back, adjusted his chef's hat, and flashed a winsome smile at the people who were already lining up to see what he would make next.

---

"Look, Zoro! Takoyaki! I haven't had that since Ace brought some from Little Tokyo," Luffy exclaimed excitedly as he dragged Zoro along. "It's too bad Tashigi and Usopp and Chopper couldn't make it—they like takoyaki, right?" They hadn't been to Rain Dinners in a long time because of Luffy's last display of gluttony, but he was fairly certain that none of the waiters would remember them.

The glares that they received suggested otherwise.

---

Sanji looked up as the manager Chaka tapped him on the shoulder.

"What's up, Chaka?" Sanji asked, flipping the dumplings expertly.

Chaka pointed to the large group that had just entered. "You see that man there, with the straw hat? Watch out for him. He's a customer of the worst sort. Last time, we caught him eating ice cream straight from the dispensers, and taking whole trays of food instead of putting it on his plate. He was—oh my god is that Vivi? What is she doing, hanging with that sort of man? Pell!" Chaka waved over his co-manager. "Is that Vivi?"

"My goodness, so it is." The blond man watched curiously, without as much chagrin as his business partner was displaying.

"We—she—what will her father say about this?"

"Who's the babe?" Sanji grinned lecherously.

"Quiet! That's Vivi Nefertari, the daughter of Cobra Nefertari!"

"Nefertari as in of Arabasta Mutual Banks?"

"Yes, 'that' Nefertari."

"Looks like her lady friend is quite the looker too."

"You lecher, do you…oh…she is, isn't she?" Pell whistled softly as he caught sight of the shapely woman following Vivi into the restaurant.

"Pell!"

"Relax, Chaka. I'm sure that Mr. Nefertari approves of them."

"But…"

"You're starting to sound like Igaram. Don't."

"Oh, dear god, no."

Sanji shrugged as the two managers left. If they came and bothered him, he wouldn't mind, as long as the men kept their hands to themselves.

"Are you sure you should be up and about, pansy?"

Sanji's head whipped up and he winced as a ball of takoyaki rolled off the grill and onto the counter. Before he could pick it up, it was already in Luffy's mouth.

"Mmm, this is good!"

"That wasn't even cooked all the way," Sanji informed Luffy. "You're that guy from earlier today, aren't you? The asshole?"

Zoro growled and tugged on Luffy's arm, pulling the cap that he had donned further down over his head. "Come on, let's go get something else to eat. I don't want any of this shitty cook's crap."

"But it was soo good."

"Whose cooking are you calling crap?"

"Yours, crap cook."

"Bold words for a man who's too meek to go out without covering his head. Why do you wear those hats, anyway?"

"Is there a problem?" Vivi asked softly. Behind them, a line was forming, and Sanji worked quickly to whip out the now-cooked takoyaki.

"Mellorine~! No, princess, there isn't a problem. I can only hope that you enjoy this meager offering that I might give to you," Sanji said grandly. "Please, help yourself. Would you like any toppings? Perhaps some takoyaki sauce?"

"A perverted and a shitty cook. Great combo."

"Hey, bro, don't hate!" Franky protested. "I'm sure he's got a reason for being a womanizer, you know!"

Sanji slapped his forehead. "All of you, just get your food and keep moving. That is, except for you, my dears," Sanji said happily to Vivi and Robin.

"Good thing Tashigi couldn't come. She would have put this perv in a headlock," Zoro muttered as Franky and Luffy chuckled.

Sanji twitched, but didn't say anything as something niggled in the back of his mind. As he looked at Zoro, he suddenly remembered an incident that had occurred earlier that day concerning his blue dish. "Wait. There's one thing we haven't settled yet."

"Oh? What's that?"

"My dishes. Because of you, I broke my best dishes."

"What the hell are you talking about? Why is this even relevant?"

"How could it get any _less_ relevant, you idiot?"

"I hate it when morons answer questions with rhetorical questions."

"Hey, now just a minute—"

"Sanji." A hand tapped him on the shoulder, and Sanji looked around to see Chaka giving him a stern look. "Please do not argue with the customers."

Sanji sighed. "Alright. You. We'll take this outside after my shift."

---

A/N: So this is the first chapter! How was it? Feedback would be much appreciated.

And about Chopper—yes, he is large. Imagine him in his human form, with his height between 178 and 225 cm (5'10 to 7'4.5)—in other words, somewhere between Zoro and Franky. Yeah. Big.

A short explanation concerning the Sectors, because even I'm confused as I'm writing this. Okay. So basically, Navarone is divided into four different districts, based on the elements (yeah really original, I know -.-) Water, Fire, Air, and Earth, in order of wealth and prestige (with Water being the highest). More information to come later.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hmm, chapter two. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This chapter is to establish a bit more of the setting and connections and stuff. Enjoy!

---

Zoro ate listlessly, not noticing what he was putting on his plate as he wandered through the buffet tables and piled his plate high. If he was going to eat for free at a place like Rain Dinners, then he was going to eat until his sides burst. He thought back to Sanji's challenge, and shrugged. It wouldn't kill him to fight a bit on a full stomach. However, if Sanji was so confident about picking a fight with Zoro, then he must have been capable of packing a punch.

Or maybe he was just a really arrogant bastard.

"Are you sure that it is wise to try and eat stewed radishes with carrot cake, Zoro?" Robin asked. Her dark skin, almond-shaped eyes, and high cheekbones were evidence of her Native American heritage; she was a beauty that captured the eyes of every man that she passed. She chuckled as Zoro quickly spat out what he had been eating, after realizing that the taste was not an ideal combination.

"Thanks, Robin," Zoro muttered, separating the hodgepodge of food on his plate. "Why did I pour soy sauce on my crab? Or put sweet and sour sauce on my oysters…"

"Mmmm, that looks good!" Luffy exclaimed, reaching out quickly with his fork. "Peach cobbler and sashimi!"

"That's sick, bro," Franky groaned. "You make me retch just looking at you eat."

"Shishishi, try it!"

"Hell, no! Get that away from me, kid!" The Hawaiian man pushed Luffy away with all his might, avoiding the offending fork.

"Did you know the chef at the takoyaki booth, Zoro?" Vivi asked, cutting delicately into her fish. Her skin was bronzed by her Egyptian heritage and a life outdoors, and her clothing whispered softly of old money; there were stories of her family's bloodline extending all the way back to ancient royalty. "You seemed really distracted after talking to him."

Zoro coughed as he swallowed abruptly, caught off-guard by the question. He cleared his throat. "I went to this coffeehouse that he works this morning, and saw him again in the hospital after he fell like an idiot and hit his head. I had to take him home."

"That's quite unusual, for someone you have only just met," Robin mused. "How interesting."

"It's not anything _weird,_ it just turned out like this," Zoro protested.

"Oh, did I say anything about that? I don't believe I suggested that anything out of the ordinary was occurring. However, your flustered appearance and defensive comments make me believe otherwise." Robin smiled sweetly at him as she bit delicately into a strawberry.

"…."

"She's got you there, Zoro."

"Shut up, Franky."

---

Sanji watched Zoro out of the corner of his eye. He was curious to see what a man like that ate. Probably a lot of steak, or meat in general, he was guessing. Sanji gaped in disbelief and almost missed pouring the batter into the skillet when he saw Zoro piling an extremely random and eclectic mix of food onto his plate. _Really, sardines with lychee fruit? Even I couldn't make that taste good._ Judging by Zoro's sour look once he sat down and looked at his plate, Zoro didn't really want to eat what was on his plate, either. Sanji snorted in amusement as he flipped the takoyaki, and grimaced when he saw the straw hat kid gobbling whatever was on Zoro's plate. _At least the food isn't going to waste, then._

"Once this batch is done, your shift is done for the night. Patty and Carne are working extra hours tonight, so you don't have to worry," Pell said as he stood by Sanji's shoulder. Sanji jumped—Pell was a freaking ninja sometimes—and nodded.

It was about time to kick some musclehead's face in, anyway.

---

"We should probably be leaving, Luffy," Vivi suggested gently. "I believe that if we stay any longer, then this restaurant will not make any profits."

"But I'm still hungry, Vivi!"

"Do you want them to call Shanks again?"

"Ack! No! Alright, I'm coming!" Luffy jumped up, patting his stomach happily. "That was really good, though. It's even better than I remember!"

Chaka, who had been standing nearby biting his nails as he watched Rain Dinners' income go down the drain called Luffy, approached the group. "I see that this is not your first time frequenting our restaurant? The menu has been altered slightly, due to the efforts of a chef we hired not too long ago. You might have seen him working at the takoyaki stall. I hope you enjoyed your meal." He nodded courteously to Vivi. "Miss Nefertari, I hope you are well?"

"Oh, Chaka, I keep telling you to call me Vivi. But yes, I am fine." The two exchanged pleasantries as the rest of the group left to wait outside.

Zoro stretched his arms, mimicking Luffy's motion of patting his stomach. "Finally, a real meal. I haven't eaten normal food for days."

"Chopper keeps telling you that you should get some real sustenance, though," Robin chided him. "It's not like you couldn't afford to eat normally, after all."

"But it's a pain in the ass to cook."

"Can't cook, eh?" Sanji walked out from the alleyway where he had exited the restaurant. A cigarette hung from his lips as his coat was thrown casually over one arm. "Ready to settle our little dispute?"

"Looks, fighting won't resolve anything," Zoro said. "If it could, then I would gladly beat the shit out of you to cure your idiocy. But beating you up won't make you less of an asshole, so there's no point in putting you down like that."

Sanji's face twitched violently. "You're really pushing your luck, you bastard," he growled angrily. "Let's find somewhere nice and quiet where we can duke it out without disturbing the neighbors, shall we? It'll only take a minute."

Zoro turned to the others. "You guys can go on home."

"But we were going to go out for drinks tonight!" Franky protested. "I really need to unwind."

"Yeah, we were going to meet Tashigi at Cipher Pol. I heard that Brooke's going to be playing tonight, too," Vivi added.

"They have the best buffalo wings there! We have to go, Zoro!" Luffy cried, as though that would be great incentive for his friend. "You can bring this guy along, too!"

Zoro sighed, twisting the cap around his head. "We'll see. I'll meet up with you guys after I take care of this, okay?"

"Okay, Zoro," Robin said with a smile, pulling Vivi and Franky along. "Are you coming, Luffy?"

"Nah. I have to wait here so I can take him, or else he'll get lost."

"Good idea."

"Hey, I'm not going to get _lost."_ Zoro turned around back to Sanji. "Ready?"

"Hell, yeah."

Zoro knew that his strongest fighting style was one that involved weapons—that's why he was a kendo instructor at Baroque Works. Still, he was confident of his general physical ability, and had grudgingly accepted hand-to-hand lessons from Daz Bones whenever they happened to be in the building at the same time between classes. He and the other instructors would often meet up (Daz was just weird in that he didn't like to socialize all the much) and brawl right in the building, with the victor being allowed to treat the other teachers as their students for the day. On more than one occasion, Zoro had found himself doing squats with the other losers up and down the stairs, and had had the opportunity to learn a variety of different styles.

Zoro knew that he was powerful. But this guy was _fast._ Who knew that a guy who spent his time doing diddly-squat in a café or kitchen could move that fast? Zoro underestimated his range, too; the first kick nearly grazed the bridge of his nose, and the second sweeping leg was only barely avoided. Zoro grabbed one leg and they stood, glaring at each other in a stalemate. If Zoro tried to twist Sanji, then the blond man could use that momentum and distraction to his advantage. If Sanji tried to kick out too early, then Zoro had the advantage of holding Sanji's leg down.

Sanji grimaced as he tested Zoro's grip on his leg. He might as well have pinned his leg in a block of cement. He could tell that this guy would bash his brains out in a single hit, without any fancy moves or tactical awareness. It was like fighting a monster.

Zoro scowled when he felt Sanji testing his grip. He had to be on his toes if he wanted to make sure that Sanji didn't try anything funny. Zoro knew that the cook was one who was as slippery as a snake—he would probably try to twist out of his predicament and go on the offensive at the same time.

They regarded each other silently, both knowing that they were in equal situations.

Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

In their concentration, they didn't see a monkey-limbed individual approach them at a sprint and hit them both across the face.

"Luffy!"

"Oi!"

"This is boring! All that you're doing is _standing _there," Luffy complained. "If that's all you're going to do, then let's go to Cipher Pol! Jeez!" He picked the two of them up by their collars with surprising strength and dragged them in that general direction. Zoro squirmed in alarm as his hat was knocked off in the scuffle.

"Luffy, wait. I dropped my—"

"Kid, you had better not be manhandling my Banana Republic—green hair? What the fuck?"

Zoro sighed, picking up his cap. "Never mind. If you say anything about my hair, then I'll kill you, cook."

"You tried. You failed. So, green, huh?" The two men stood of their own accord and followed Luffy. "You weren't drunk when this happened, were you? I mean, guys usually get tattoos when they get drunk but…this?"

Zoro scoffed. "I never get drunk. Apparently it's some sort of recessive allele from my Ainu roots that hasn't been seen for generations. Centuries, even."

"Well, yeah. It's no wonder it's a recessive gene. Who would want to breed with a guy who looks like _that?"_

"You have a problem with it?" Zoro squinted at Sanji's face. "What's up with your eyebrow, anyway? You look like a villain from a silent film. You didn't try to pluck it and mess up, did you?"

"…of course not. W-why would I try and pluck my eyebrows?"

The two of them argued and traded insults for the entire half hour walk to the bar, having forgotten the original reason for their dispute. Luffy listened in amusement until they reached the doors, saying things like "You guys are bonding!" which would only set off the duo into a renewed argument. The wild-looking bouncer at the door grinned as he saw Luffy and Zoro, but raised a quizzical eyebrow as he saw Sanji. His long moustache twitched in suspicion.

"A new friend or what?" the man asked, jerking a thumb at Sanji. "If he's giving you trouble, Zoro, we can take care of him."

Zoro was sorely tempted to let him beat Sanji up, but shrugged. "Nah, Jyabura. This guy's…he's with us tonight." Sanji looked at him in surprise.

_Maybe this guy isn't so bad after all._

"We're doing that big-brother program for people in Special Education."

_Fuck it, this guy is going to die._

Jyabura shrugged. "If you say so. Oh, Luffy, your brother came through tonight. He should still be inside."

"Oooh, okay! Thanks!" The three of them walked through the doors into the building and were enveloped by the music. The three-story establishment was filled to capacity with writhing bodies on the bottom dance floor and laughing individuals on the second-story's bar. The second floor was open in the middle, giving everyone a view of the dance floor and the poles lined with neon lights that stretched from the ceiling to the platforms on the first floor. The top floor was also open in the middle, although the entrance was closed off as "VIP only." Luffy guffawed as he pointed to one of the poles and waved wildly. "Ace! Ace!" The figure wrapping itself around the pole looked up and waved back merrily.

"Hey, Luffy!"

Sanji stared. "Is that…a guy?"

Zoro nodded, slapping his forehead. "He's this idiot's brother. Frankly, I'm still surprised that his pants are still on. He pole dances here because of the tips—the girls go wild. See?" He pointed, and Sanji could see a group of girls clustered around the base of the platform, giggling and inserting bills into Ace's waistband whenever he was close enough.

"It's like a strip club," Sanji said, his mouth hanging open.

"Most of the people here are normal, compared to him," Zoro said. He turned and saw Luffy already walking upstairs. "Looks like he found everyone else."

They found Franky, Robin, Vivi, and Franky sitting with Tashigi, Chopper, and Usopp; the latter three had found time to meet up, it seemed. Chopper leapt up when he saw Sanji and pulled him to sit down, checking his pulse and his pupils. Sanji looked up at the enormous guy tending to him and was speechless.

Zoro chuckled as he sat down opposite to Sanji. "That's Chopper. He's the one who took care of you at the hospital."

"This guy? He looks like a beast!"

"Hey! I'm not a beast! Oh, you seem to have recovered really well, by the way," Chopper said. "Your eyes are responding to the light well, and your body is—"

"Alright, doctor, if he's fine then he's fine," Zoro interrupted. As Chopper punched him (he winced and rubbed his arm ruefully) he looked around. "Did you guys get your drinks already?"

Franky looked at Zoro over his sunglasses. "Are you kidding me? It's Thursday night. You know what _that_ means."

Zoro suddenly grinned and nodded. "Oh, yeah. The Shigan Special, right? I completely forgot about that." The rest of the group clapped excitedly as Sanji looked around in confusion.

"Oh! Guys, this is Sanji!" Luffy exclaimed. As introductions went around, Sanji immediately bent on one knee as he held Robin and Vivi by the hand (Tashigi had looked at him oddly and refused to give him hers; she recognized him from when he had tried to woo her after she had dispatched Buggy earlier that day).

"Ah, for such roses to exist in this garden—" Sanji began, but was interrupted by a cough behind him. He turned around and his mouth dropped open as he saw a slim woman in a black, fitted skirt waiting impatiently for him to stop. "Ah! Mellorine!"

"So where's the booze, Kalifa?" Zoro demanded cheekily. "C'mon, we all know that you were expecting us."

"Just a moment. Sir, are you aware that your actions could be construed as sexual harassment?" Kalifa stated flatly, glaring at Sanji. She slapped his hand away as he began to spew compliments. "Lucci is bringing your drinks. Blueno was unable to make it tonight, but I assure you that Lucci is more than capable." Wild cheers and hoots could be heard coming from the bar, and she smiled wanly. "It sounds like he's on his way."

The man approaching them with the trays balanced perfectly on his arms and head glowered at the cheering club-goers and set his load on the table without a single drop spilled on his black slacks or vest. The trays held mugs of some form of alcohol; Sanji could smell the raw spirits and knew that this wasn't a normal cocktail party. Lucci was good-looking in a way that was refined enough to be cultured, but rough enough to suggest violence and bloodlust. His dark eyes surveyed the group and stopped on Sanji.

"I don't believe we've met before. My name is Lucci."

Sanji held out a hand, and only barely managed to keep from wincing under the other man's grip. "I'm Sanji. Nice to meet you."

Lucci nodded and gestured to the trays he had set out. "Tonight's Shigan Special. You know the rules. Two players will face two challengers from the crowd. Each team must finish their drinks within a specified time limit and will go on the dance floor to pole dance." Lucci's face twitched when he said 'pole dance,' as though it was too vulgar a concept for him to mention. "Whoever receives the best reaction from the crowd wins and gets free drinks, compliments of the losing team. Who will be playing tonight?"

Zoro immediately slammed a fist down. "I'm down for it. Who's with me?" Franky opened his mouth, but Zoro cut him off. "Hell, no. Last time you were arrested for public indecency. We really don't need to see the tattoo you got from your college frat again."

"I'll do it," a sultry voice said. Sanji looked up and gaped. He got an eyeful of tanned skin, hard muscles, and sweat running down a chest exposed by an open shirt. Baggy jeans just barely hung on hips that swayed with every movement, and Sanji found that it was difficult to swallow. Dark, wavy locks of hair covered twinkling eyes and a smattering of freckles over a gorgeous smile.

_What the hell? This guy…he's a _guy, Sanji thought to himself. _Pull yourself together, you idiot! Look at all these beautiful women!_

"Hey, Ace!" Luffy greeted the other man excitedly. "How'd you do tonight?"

Ace pulled a wad of crumpled bills—some with phone numbers scrawled across—from his pockets and waist. "Those chicks are so generous, Luffy. I love them all."

"Pimp," Usopp coughed.

Ace laughed. "Of course. So, who's willing to face us? I doubt there's anyone who has the balls to do it."

Two men walked from the crowd that had formed around their table. One had a mohawk and intricate tribal tattoos that ran across his face and a torso that was revealed by a partially-unbuttoned shirt. The other wore round sunglasses and wore a shorter mohawk. They were both dark-skinned and looked extremely confident.

"Ah, cousins," Robin greeted them. "Everyone, meet Wiper and Kamakiri. They're visiting Navarone this week."

"You're related?" Chopper asked in surprise.

"Vaguely," Wiper supplied. His voice was deep and serious, although a hint of humor could be seen in the depths of his dark eyes. "We still consider each other as cousins, though. Perhaps even siblings."

"Well then, come on and sit down!" Ace said happily. "I hope you fellows brought your wallets, because we're sure as hell not going to pay for all of this."

Kamakiri smiled thinly. "We could say the same of you."

Lucci and Kalifa arranged the glasses of drinks equally before both groups. "The time limit for your beverages is one hour. As long as the drinks are collectively finished by a team, then that's fine. Ready? Set. Go!" Each man grabbed a cup and immediately began to drink. Sanji watched in fascination as he saw that all the men were seasoned drinkers—not a single drop fell down their chins, and he could see their throats bobbing expertly as they drank without a hitch. They drank…and drank…and drank.

"Isn't this kind of dangerous?" Sanji whispered to Chopper. "I mean, you're a doctor after all."

Chopper sighed. "I thought so before, too, but Zoro has a general plan with this game that tends to work. He picks a really good dance partner and does most of the drinking himself. I tried to talk him out of doing this, but his body metabolizes the alcohol oddly. I did blood tests, and the alcohol barely gets absorbed—it mostly just passes through his system harmlessly. Weird, huh?"

Sanji nodded and turned to the table. He could see that Ace had stopped drinking, although he could see an impressive number of empty cups in front of the man.

"Alright, Zoro. You do your thing," Ace said with a grin. "I've reached my limit. Any more and Smoker will be coming after me again if I do something drunk again. He actually fined me the other day just for driving around without a shirt—can you believe that? I mean, he _claims_ that it was because I was driving around 100 miles per hour, but I know he just wanted to take an eyeful."

Zoro snorted into his cup but gulped the last of the alcohol. Sanji picked up an empty cup and sniffed. It smelled a bit like beer, but he couldn't really tell. Give him a good cup of wine or coffee, and he could tell from a mile off, but he wasn't particularly familiar with beer or hard liquors.

Wiper and Kamakiri were beginning to slow down slightly, but Zoro was still going strong. Kamakiri stopped drinking, and it was a drinking battle between Zoro and Wiper. Apparently, the two challengers had the same mentality and strategy as Zoro and Ace did.

"Ten minutes left."

Zoro grabbed the last cup at the same time as Wiper did. They drank in synch, and slammed their cups down at the same time. "Go!" they gasped, wiping their mouths.

"You're a pretty good drinker," Wiper groaned, watching as Kamakiri and Ace leapt down to the dance floor and jumped onto the platforms.

"You're not too bad yourself. This was fun," Zoro replied.

"They're break dancing!" Usopp yelled, running to the crowded railing. This was where the real entertainment began. "Aren't they supposed to be on the poles, though?"

"If they both agree to the same form of dance, then that is permissible," Lucci said flatly. "Do you desire to see them on the poles, Usopp?"

"N-no, Lucci," Usopp stuttered, backing up slightly. "This is fine!"

Kamakiri moved with grace and strength reminiscent of Tai Chi, and he coolly performed handstands and flips without a hitch in his movement; he was like water, flowing and smooth. Ace, however, was on fire—his moves were wild and unpredictable, hot and seductive as he rolled his hips and moved his body in ways that made the girls scream and the guys cheer.

Ace looked at the platform and then back at Kamakiri. "Want to try it out?"

Kamakiri smirked, his cheeks flushed from the drinking and exertion. "If you're up to it, then let's do it." They jumped onto the platforms and began to dance.

"Woah, I've never seen Ace pull _that_ move before."

"Wiper, where did Kamakiri learn that from? Last time I saw him, he was quite shy."

"We've been traveling a lot. You'd be surprised what he could do now, Robin."

"If I was a chick, I'd so totally dig what they were doing now."

"Yeah, you make it sound like you don't enjoy it, Franky."

"Is it safe for him to bend like that?"

"Shishishi, I saw Ace pulling that one off when I walked in on him and this girl!"

"Luffy...oh, forget it."

Lucci walked the display silently and made his way to the DJ's stage. He whispered to the long-nosed man controlling the music, who nodded in understanding. A loud and cheerful voice boomed over the speakers.

"_Alright everyone, this is it! This week's Shigan Special will be determined by the power of your voice! I want y'all to cheer if you're digging Kamakiri, the fellow with the shades!"_ A powerful wave of shrieks and cheers rose from the crowd. _"Now, who thinks that Ace is the—"_ Before he could even finish his sentence, the crowd went wild. Sanji winced as he covered his ears, trying to block out the deafening noise. _"Ah, I guess that settles it. The winners are Zoro and Ace! Good job, you guys!"_

Zoro grinned and held a hand out to Wiper. "Good try, rookie."

Wiper scoffed and slapped his hand into Zoro's. Everyone watched in interest as their grips tightened in a test of strength. They finally mutually broke apart, smiling slightly before Wiper went to find Kamakiri. Ace returned and laughed heartily.

"Silly boys," Robin sighed as Vivi nodded solemnly in agreement.

"Free drinks! This is the life," Ace said happily. "Kalifa, dear, could you get us a round of martinis? You know, something nice and fruity to calm down a bit."

Zoro leaned back as everyone settled into conversation. He was still stoked from his match against Wiper, and looked forward to meeting up with that guy again; maybe he'd invite him to Baroque Works for a sparring session. Wiper looked like a pretty fit guy—despite the fact that he must have been a heavy drinker, his abs were still well-defined and his chest was as solid as a warrior's.

"You're a beast, man." Sanji took a seat next to Zoro after Kalifa had told him that she would call the police if he continued to flirt shamelessly with her. "Drinking that much isn't human."

"Maybe I'm not human, then."

"Yeah, you must be a Martian. Green hair and all. So, why don't you tell me a little more about your group? I was kind of just, um, whisked here by your friend over there, so it's weird, you know? I still don't know why I'm here."

"Well, Luffy's just like that. If he likes you, then he'll just befriend you like it's nothing. He and his brother own the Galley-La apartments. They're pretty well-off because of it. Franky's an engineer—I think he works for the government, because his work hours are weird as hell. He has blueprints of all these machines and ships in his house that no one can understand at all, except for maybe Usopp. Usopp's the guy with the long nose. He's…well, he does everything, it you ask him. He's dabbled in engineering and architecture, but he's a writer for the most part. His series of children's books, 'Captain Usopp's Adventures,' are pretty popular. Chopper's the big one. He might be a giant, but he's a damned good doctor."

"What about the ladies?" Sanji asked anxiously. "The guys sound cool but…the _ladies,_ Zoro!"

"Tch, the ladies." Zoro looked uncomfortable for a moment as he paused. "Vivi's the daughter of this big-shot banker. Robin is a history professor at the Navarone University. I heard that a bunch of guys take her class because she's hot, but they go crazy because of the work load. Tashigi works at the police department. She's pretty strong."

"That was a pretty brief introduction. I guess I'll have to speak to them more in-depth myself," Sanji said with a lewd smile. "I met Tashigi earlier today, during a little incident at the coffeehouse." Zoro raised an eyebrow as he remembered Tashigi alluding to it before, but was interrupted by Franky.

Franky leaned over and laughed, his cheeks red from drinking. "Ah, Zoro? Yeaaah, 'course he won't be saying much 'bout the ladies. Awkward, you know? I mean, th're cool _now,_ but the transsssition from dating to being jus' friends wasn't smooth at all."

"D-dating?! You've dated all these lovely women?" Sanji growled at Zoro, taking care to not let his voice carry over too far. "They're so elegant, and lovely!"

Zoro shifted awkwardly. "Yeah. It didn't really end that well, though. I mean, they were all mutual understandings but that doesn't change the fact that being friends is weird after you've been screwing—"

"ACK! I don't want to hear about your conquests," Sanji sputtered. "I can't believe they went out with a Neanderthal like you."

Robin heard that last comment and sidled over to sit with them, running one hand lightly along Zoro's shoulders. "Oh, Zoro? He's quite the gentleman, surprisingly. Of course, it doesn't hurt when he dresses decently." She frowned at his ensemble. "You're wearing a sweatsuit, Zoro. To the Cipher Pol. I can't believe Jyabura let you through like that."

"They don't care. My little display with the Shigan Special is enough to draw more people than they could ever get otherwise. Blueno told me that the nights I come for that are the ones that the bar sales peak."

"But still, didn't Vivi and I get you a nice wardrobe?"

"Well…it's still in my closet somewhere. I don't need to wear it for work or anything."

Vivi moved to sit next to them as well, tiring of listening to Luffy and Usopp gush about their latest Halo victories. "Zoro, just because you're used to living like a bum doesn't mean you should keep living like one. What have you been eating at home lately, anyway?"

"Well, there was some bread—"

"—and I'll bet that it's the bread we dropped off the last time we were there. Really, Zoro, we need to find time to go shopping," Vivi said firmly. Zoro shuddered at the suggestion and didn't respond. Robin looked at Sanji and brightened as she took in his trim appearance—dark jeans accented by a leather belt, a dark blue button-down Banana Republic shirt that he had changed into after work, and shining leather shoes. Simple, but versatile.

"Perhaps you could help him, Sanji," Robin suggested. "It might be presumptuous after having just met, but…" She leaned over and stroked Sanji's chin gently, making him shiver delightfully. "It would mean so much to us if you could help him. You look like the kind of man who knows about style." She smiled, making his heart melt.

"Mellorine~! Of course!"

---

"Why are we doing this?" Zoro grumbled, scratching his neck in annoyance.

"Because Robin asked me to," Sanji replied simply. His face said _That's all the reason I need, isn't it?_

"You only met her last night. Don't you have the café to attend?"

"Closing for one day won't kill me. Besides, most people are still working or are at school at this hour, so business is slow. Do you have to work?"

"I have the day off."

"I see. Well, let's take a look at your apartment, shall we?"

Zoro shook his head and led the way. He couldn't believe how things had turned out. It had only been two days since he'd first laid eyes on Sanji, but here they were getting ready to _pick out furniture._ What the heck. He hardly even knew the guy, and now they were acting like damned newlyweds or something.

_No. Not newlyweds. Um…really good friends?_

Damn Luffy and his friendliness. Damn _Robin_ and her manipulative abilities.

"Wow, this place is pretty nice. You really live here?"

"Yep. I moved here while I went to the University. It's not too far from work, and my friends live around here, so it's a good location." Zoro bypassed the elevator and led the way up to his floor.

"We couldn't have just used the elevator?"

"What, are you tired, cook?"

"It would have been faster. And simpler. And…more logical."

"Tch. The elevator is still too slow. Here we are. Take off your shoes before you enter."

"Wow, this place is a dump." Sanji looked around at the flat in disgust. "Even my place is better than this."

"It's not a dump!"

"Compared to the rest of the building, it is. Or compared to that cardboard box that I saw a homeless man living in. I mean, it could look really nice if it didn't look like…this. You don't utilize your space at all! A beanbag chair? _Really?_ You don't even have a couch! And…" Sanji walked briskly to the kitchen, throwing the fridge door open. He winced. "There's egg yolk spilled in here. And I definitely don't want to know what used to be in that take-out box."

"Might've been the Thai food from a few weeks ago. It's still good."

"I think the mold has evolved and eaten your food." Sanji closed the door and went into the bedroom. "The place is pretty big, though. Woah. Where did you get this mattress—from the University dorms?" Sanji squinted at the worn mattress, as though he was trying to block it from his sight but couldn't quite tear his eyes away.

"Yeah. Someone threw it out, so I took it after I found it on the street."

"…"

"What?"

"You're getting a new mattress. Why don't you have a bed frame?"

"I like to sleep close to the floor."

"Well, we'll find a low one, then." Sanji opened the dressed and scowled. "Please don't tell me that you store your dirty underwear in here."

"I haven't done my laundry yet. So shoot me."

"I really want to kill you right now." Sanji perused the closet, whose contents looked untouched. "Your friends have good taste. You should appreciate this a little more, you ingrate."

"Are you going to just walk around and criticize my house, or are you going to do something?"

Sanji sighed. "This calls for an immediate plan of action. How much are you willing to spend?"

"Nothing." The phone rang, and Zoro went back into the living room to pick it up. "Hello?...oh, hey Robin. Is that Vivi I heard in the background? What's up…yeah, he's here. He's being a total asshole…what? Wait, say that—Robin, just because Mihawk's paying me well doesn't mean I should just blow it on—oh. Come on, Robin. Don't bring that up, I was really drunk—fine. I understand. Don't think you can just—yeah, you too. Goodbye."

"Was that Robin?"

"Yeah. Er…" Zoro sighed heavily and dug into his sweatpants pocket. He pulled out a beaten leather wallet and reluctantly pulled out a Visa card. "Um…she told me…well…use this today." Sanji took the card, after prying it from Zoro's hands.

"So I can go all-out?"

"Don't be wasteful. Get some good-quality stuff."

"You make it sound like you're not coming with me."

"I hate shopping."

"Unless you want me to max out your credit card, I suggest you come with me."

"Ugh, fine!"

---

"This is the worst fucking experience in my life. Even worse than eating stale natto."

"Quiet, you cabbage-head. We're almost done."

"Almost? What do you mean, almost? Isn't this our last stop?"

"We're stopping by Trader Joe's to get you some real food."

"I won't eat it if it has the words 'whole grain' or 'organic' on it."

"It's good for you. You'll live longer and better."

"Says the smoker. Just…pay for this so we can leave. I don't see why I need all of these cooking utensils. I'll just go out and eat."

"One day you'll thank me for this. Besides, you should take a cooking class. What if there's a day when all the restaurants are closed?"

"Panda Express is _always_ open when I need it. It's more faithful than a woman that way, and cheaper, too."

"That's a sick metaphor."

"It's not that bad."

"You're right. Well, I'll show you how to boil water so you can at least make hard-boiled eggs and pasta."

"Very funny, cook."

"Did that sound like a joke?"

---

"What the hell is hummus?"

"Try it. You'll like it." The two of them were sitting cross-legged on boxes that held all the furniture that Sanji had bought with Zoro that day.

"That's what my mom used to tell me. I still don't like cauliflower."

"Here. You put it on the pita bread and then put it in your mouth. Basic mastication," Sanji said as Zoro snorted. "Mastication. You know, the art of chewing. Even cows can do it. Not…Oh, grow up, would you?"

"Can we just set everything up? All these boxes are completely throwing off the feng shui of my apartment."

"You follow stuff like that?"

"No. But I was convincing, wasn't I?"

Sanji sighed. "Let's set everything up, then. I'm throwing your beanbag chair out, by the way. And your mattress. Your fridge will stay until the new one gets delivered. The television, too."

"Sure. Go ahead, gut my apartment. It's _only_ my stuff."

"We got enough stuff to replace all that crap, anyway."

"Hey! That beanbag chair has a lot of memories!" Zoro protested as Sanji gingerly picked up the chair.

Sanji looked at the misshapen chair in his hands and made a mental note to thoroughly wash his hands later.

"The first thing we'll set up is the TV, since it's smack dab in the middle of everything," he said, kicking the beanbag chair near the door. He had to admit, though, that the squashy chair was well-made—it didn't even rip a little when he kicked it. "Then, there's the furniture. Leather's always nice, and it's easier to wipe off spills even if it's a pain in the ass to get it cleaned." He pulled a roll of masking tape from his pocket. "After we set up the TV, I'll show you where to put everything."

"Just throw it all against the wall."

"No. That's stupid."

"You're stupid."

"Okay, this is getting a little too immature," Sanji sighed, ignoring Zoro. "Let's just put everything together, okay?"

They managed to put everything together without killing each other, although there were some close calls. They argued over everything—where to put things, how to angle them, whether Philips screwdrivers were better than flatheads, just to name a few—but in the end, all the furnishings were complete.

Sanji immediately took control again. "Okay, take this chaise lounge—"

"The what?"

Sanji rolled his eyes and pointed at the long sofa. "That…sofa. Lounge chair. The long one, right there. Yes, that one. We're putting it parallel to the wall so we can form a little circle around the TV. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

"No. It's a complete waste of space." Zoro stuck his bottom lip out obstinately.

The two men glared at each other, feeling the tides of impending battle rising in their blood.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for reviewing, everyone! It made the next chapter go (a little) more quickly. Enjoy!

And sentimentalreality, the 'Usopp Affair' will not be addressed for a while...but when it does, it will be quite embarassing and entertaining. :]

---

Zoro woke up groggily on Monday morning to hear someone knocking politely on his door. He groaned and rolled over, resolving to ignore the sound. The tapping stopped, but was replaced by the bangs of two pairs of solid fists. Zoro curled up under his pillow, but eventually resigned himself to the fact that whatever asshole was at the door would not give up.

"Fine, I'm coming! Just stop knocking already!" Zoro rolled out of bed—that was the advantage of not having a bed frame—and lurched to the door, pulling it open with a scowl. "What do you want?"

He blinked. Luffy, Franky, Robin, and Vivi were blinking back at him. He could have sworn that he saw Robin's eyes twinkling as she took in his rumpled appearance—green and white striped boxer shorts that were in desperate need of cleaning, a white t-shirt, and earrings that had left three imprints on the side of his face as he slept. He yawned, and they shrank back in the face of his morning breath.

"What are you guys doing here?"

They promptly ignored him and let themselves into his living abode.

"Oh my, Zoro, your apartment looks fabulous. Go brush your teeth, by the way."

Zoro decided that fighting was a lost cause.

"Thanks, Robin."

"Is that a Kenmore refrigerator? I've been meaning to get one for the house, but I always heard that Kitchenaid was better," Vivi said, studying the fridge closely and opening the doors experimentally. "Wow! I didn't know you drank organic soy milk, Zoro!"

"Neither did I. I've never tried the stuff before. The cook said that the Kenmore is better, for some reason. I didn't really listen to his explanation." He spoke in short sentences, trying to wake up so he could be a little clearer.

"Woo, you have a giant flatscreen! Nice!" Luffy cried, running over and staring at the television in awe.

"Yeah, now you can bring your Xbox 360 so we can kick some serious ass in Halo in high definition."

"Dude, we have to have a party here. Like, now."

"…now, Franky?"

"Of course! Doesn't the spontaneity make it more super?"

"That sounds like a good idea, but perhaps we should plan it more thoroughly. How does Wednesday night sound?"

"Are you planning a party in my apartment, Robin?"

"Well, you're obviously not going to take the initiative to do it."

"What a bold woman."

"Thank you, Franky. Did you thank Sanji, Zoro?" Robin asked pleasantly. Zoro mumbled something in reply. "What was that?" Her smile was as pleasant as ever, but he could feel an edge in her tone and shuddered accordingly.

"Er, we started to argue over where to arrange the furniture. I wanted it all against the wall, but he said something about arranging it in front of the TV while still having room to move around comfortably. He left after I refused to move it." Zoro didn't tell her that he had bruises all over his torso with foot and knee imprints, and was glad that it was custom to leave shoes by the door; he shuddered to think of what would have happened if Sanji had connected while wearing hard shoes.

"But everything _is_ situated around the television," Robin pointed out. Zoro flushed in embarrassment.

"Well, yeah, after he left I moved it. Um…it turns out that he was right."

---

"Shitty broccoli-head." Strong hands kneaded the dough firmly, palm against sticky dough. "Stupid…arrogant…ungrateful…uncouth…" Sanji muttered under his breath as he pounded the dough. He stopped, realizing that all the air bubbles had been squashed out, and sighed as he began to manipulate tiny folds in the substance, fingers moving on their own. "Damned…idiot…scoring with those gorgeous women…can't even tell where the furniture should go…" Sanji stopped short as he realized that he had made a convincing likeness of the swordsman, wearing the triumphant expression that Zoro had worn upon winning the Shigan Special challenge. "Argh!" He smashed a fist into the dough, startling Nami.

"Is something the matter, Sanji?" she asked, folding her newspaper carefully.

"Ah, of course not, Nami! Not with you here!" Sanji said jubilantly. "More coffee?"

When Nami had left for work—she was a newspaper editor who dabbled in stocks—Sanji sighed heavily as he cleaned up. Today had been busy, as Monday mornings always were, with people rushing in and out for a jolt of caffeine before rushing back out to work or school. He hated how few people stopped to enjoy their coffee or to take in the ambiance.

The bell tinkled, and Sanji looked up with the customary "Welcome!"

He stopped short when he saw Zoro looking at him oddly. It might have had something to do with the pink apron he was wearing.

_An apron is an apron. It serves its purpose, regardless of its color,_ Sanji thought firmly.

"What do you want?" Sanji asked coldly. He put down the cloth he was using to wipe down the tables and glared at Zoro. "Going to treat me like the ingrate you are?"

Zoro scowled, but braced himself. After he had shooed everyone out of his apartment he had come down to the Paris Baguette fully intending to apologize. He found that it was becoming increasingly difficult while actually facing Sanji.

"I'm just here to say sorry for being a bit unfair yesterday. I'm…grateful that you helped me, especially since we're practically strangers," Zoro grudgingly said. "I, um, moved the furniture around the television."

Sanji stared at Zoro. Was Zoro really apologizing? He seemed more like the silent and proud type who would refuse to sacrifice his pride for anything. Well, he took what he could get. "Oh…did you put it on the tape markers I left on the floor?"

"…?"

Sanji sighed, but smiled despite himself. "The morning rush is over. C'mon, I'll go and fix it for you."

"Actually, I have to go to work."

"You have a job?" Sanji slapped himself immediately after asking that. He knew that Zoro must have some kind of employment if he lived at a place like Galley-La (in Water Sector, no less), but he just couldn't see the other man sitting in a cubicle or working with people at all. "I mean, crap, what's your job?"

"I'm a martial arts instructor."

Oh. That sounded more likely than a secretary or accountant, or anything normal like that. "I see. That's cool?"

"You can come watch if you want. I'll be heading home afterwards."

Sanji looked around the empty café and shrugged. "Sure. I don't have much to do until lunchtime around here, anyway. Is it very far?"

"It's a five minute drive."

"I don't see a car."

"It's a twenty minute walk."

"If you didn't bring a car, then just say so!" Sanji huffed, before turning around and heading upstairs. "I'm going to get changed. I'll be down in a minute."

"Hurry up, cook. My class starts in half an hour."

Sanji went to his room and pulled his closet open. "Brisk morning weather, but if we'll be moving furniture later then it should be something comfortable," he mused to himself. He pulled out a pair of faded jeans that had become stylish, for some reason (he wasn't complaining; he didn't have to explain the holes in the knees, then) with a plain sky-blue shirt under a button-down Ralph Lauren shirt. "Okay, Sanji, you're only going to be hanging out with a barbarian. It doesn't matter what you wear." He jogged back downstairs, grabbing a set of keys from a basket on the counter on his way out.

"What were you doing, getting ready for a date? C'mon!" Zoro said sarcastically. "I'm going to be late."

"Don't worry," Sanji said, rolling his eyes. He jingled his keys and pointed to a dark blue Volkswagen Beetle that was parked next to the café. "We're driving."

Zoro stared at the little automobile and didn't budge. "I'm not driving in that. That's a girly car."

"It's not girly."

"It's—it's a _convertible?_ You need a manly sports car to pull that off. Not a cute little thing like that."

"Please don't tell me that you just called my car cute. Just get in and shut up. If what you said is correct, then it's only a five minute drive, right?"

"Fine," Zoro grumbled. He gave Sanji the address and sat sullenly in his seat until they arrived at their destination with a bit of cursing on Sanji's part after someone cut him off.

"You work _here?_" Sanji gaped. "It's huge!"

Zoro couldn't help himself. "That's what she said."

"Oh, now, that's just immature. What is this place?"

"This is where I teach. It's called Baroque Works."

"Funky name," Sanji muttered as they entered the building. Sanji hummed appreciatively at the décor. "Now, whoever designed _this_ knew what they were doing." The tinted glass doors gave way to black tiles and creamy wallpaper. Exotic potted plants dotted the pathway to the receptionist's desk, which was made of a black marble similar in color to the floor. Along the walls were black and white portraits of instructors in action at regular intervals, as well as of Mihawk and Crocodile. Plush leather benches created symmetry in the small, luxurious space—too luxurious, it seemed, for a regular martial arts institute. "How the hell does a martial arts organization afford things like this?"

"The prices are inflated," Zoro grumbled. "But the pay is good. Coming?"

"Yeah, just a sec," Sanji said. He pointed to a picture of a man swinging swords in both hands, between the picture of a man—wearing makeup?—performing a roundhouse kick and the portrait of another darker man in mid-punch. All he needed to see to identify the figure was green hair. "Is that you?"

Zoro pulled him along before Sanji could get a closer look. "No. Maybe. Let's _go, _I'm late."

Zoro dashed up the stairs and ran down the hall to his class.

"You're late again, sensei," several children chorused morosely as they looked at him, waiting in a row while sitting patiently on their knees.

"I got held up. Did you warm up?"

"Yes, sensei."

"Good. Pair up and practice the last defensive stance I taught you. Whoever doesn't defend properly receives punishment. Whoever fails to land a hit also receives punishment."

"Awe, sensei! That's not fair!"

"Yeah, you sadist, that doesn't sound fair at all," Sanji said as he walked through the door at a more leisurely pace. "At least half of these kids are already condemned."

"Then they better pick up their game if they don't want to be the half that has to do pushups," Zoro shot back. "Oy, still sitting? Go!"

Sanji sat cross-legged on the firm mats that were on the floor after removing his shoes and placing them in a cubbyhole on a shelf by the practice area. He watched Zoro walked among the students, correcting a stance here and rapping a mistaken student on the head on occasion. Sanji smiled when Zoro looked proudly at his students, before scowling once he thought someone was looking at him.

When the one-on-one practice was over, Zoro began to pull students individually from the larger group and line them up against the wall. Everyone trembled, wondering which group was safe and which was not. Zoro pointed at the students lining the wall and ordered, "Wall squats. Hold the position until I say you're done."

"Yes, sensei…" the children replied in subdued tones before squatting. The others sighed in relief until Zoro turned to them with a wide grin on his face.

"Who said that they were the ones receiving punishment?"

The other students ended up doing handstand pushups and hopping squats up and down the stairs.

---

"Class dismissed!" The children bowed before running to fetch their shoes and escape the classroom, nursing sore muscles and weary bodies. Zoro went into a closet and pulled out a cloth and a bucket. He filled the bucket with water and began to clean the mats thoroughly, taking care with every smudge and spot.

Sanji watched in curiosity. Zoro hadn't seemed like the kind of man who could endure long periods of time with children, and although he had been gruff with his students, he had obviously cared enough for their training to put time and effort into making sure that they were good at the art.

"Do you only teach kids?" Sanji asked.

Zoro shook his head without looking up from his task. "No. I teach all ages and all levels, although most of the ones that I teach lose their interest as they get older. Something about swordsmanship being impractical. That's why the other teachers have more adults to teach than I do. The kids always think swordsmanship is cool, though. For a little while," he said flatly. "The police academy and department send officers down here for training once in a while, though."

"I see." Sanji absorbed this information with interest. Zoro had spoken without much emotion, but it sounded as though he disliked the lack of perseverance his students displayed as they grew up. "What other classes do they have here?"

"Um…there's boxing, karate, Savate, Tae Kwon Do, judo…" Zoro listed, trailing off. "The building is really big and there are a lot of classes. I can't name them all off the top of my head, but you could probably get a brochure from downstairs. Why?"

Sanji shrugged. "I was thinking that maybe I should get some training in again. I took lessons from my old man, but nothing formal. Is the Savate teacher any good? I'd like to meet him if there's time after the lunchtime rush at the café."

Zoro looked thoughtful as the images of hairy legs, cosmetics, transvestites, and other such disturbing things flashed through his head.

"I wouldn't recommend anyone else for it," he said innocently.

---

"I hate you."

"Now, cook, don't be like that. You wanted a good instructor, so I—"

"Shut up. I. Hate. You."

"Geez, and you call _me_ an ingrate?"

"The consequences of my actions didn't leave you with LIPSTICK marks all over your face from another MAN. It left you with a damned good apartment, you shitty bastard!"

"He was just…enthusiastic."

"He was sexually harassing me, you asshole! I swear, when he moved my leg to fix my stance, he touched _things_ that no man should _ever_ touch on another man. Ever."

"Bon's just very friendly."

"Friendly, my ass!"

"Actually, didn't he grope your ass…?"

"If you ever tell _anyone_ about this ever again, I swear…"

"You'll what, kick me? With the skills you're going to learn from Bon?"

"I'm not going back."

"You won't find another Savate teacher in the city who agrees to teach you for free."

"Believe me, I'm paying him with my fucking dignity. Among other things."

"Seems like a small price to pay."

"Ugh. This is what we're going to do. We're going to go to your place and fix your furniture. Then, we will go to a bar and you will pay for my drinks. We will also never speak of this again. Understood?"

"Sounds good. Should I call you Sanji Kurei from now on, or would you like to keep your maiden name?"

The tiny Volkswagen Beetle nearly veered into a postal box as Sanji tried to throttle Zoro.

They took the elevator up to Zoro's room, after Sanji had violently jabbed the button when Zoro had pointed to the stairs.

Sanji looked at Zoro's positioning of his furniture in exasperation. "This is all wrong. Help me with this, would you? This loveseat is in the way of where the couch should go." Sanji gaped when he saw Zoro pick up the loveseat in one hand and the couch in the other, switching their positions as easily as one would move a book or a lamp. "What the hell do you eat, testosterone sandwiches or something?"

"You're the one who made that ham and cheese sandwich thing."

"Breakfast Croissant. It's called a Breakfast. Croissant."

"Yeah, whatever."

Once everything was in the right place, Sanji leaned against the kitchen counter with a sigh. "I don't want to go out anymore. Do you have any beer? Oh wait, I know you do, because _I'm_ the one who went and picked all your damned groceries out for you." Sanji opened the fridge door—admiring his pick as he pulled the door open—and took out two beers.

"Oh, thanks," Zoro said, reaching out for one, but pulled back when Sanji slapped his hand.

"These are for me. Go get your own beer."

"Tch…" They sat on chairs facing opposite each other. "Are you hungry?"

"A little. Why?" Sanji asked, sipping his beer.

"I don't know what to do with half the stuff you left in my fridge. Make something."

"I'm not your servant."

"You're drinking the beer I paid for."

"This is compensation for harm to my mental well-being."

"Man up and make me a sandwich."

(A/N: :D )

Sanji grumbled as he rose. "You can't even make your own sandwich?" he growled, taking his empty beer cans to put them in the recycling receptacle.

"I can, but it tastes better when someone else makes it." Zoro dodged the two cans that were aimed at his head, catching them deftly and tossing them. "So, what are you making me?"

"I never said I was going to make you anything. You should be making _me_ something, since I'm your guest. Scratch that, I'd probably get food poisoning." Sanji was already moving into the kitchen and taking cheese and onions from the fridge. "Is there a market around here? I need a baked chicken." He pulled a bag of tortillas from the pantry, checking its freshness.

"There's a supermarket a few blocks away."

"Go get me a whole baked chicken, then. Try to get one without any herbs or sauces on it. About this big," Sanji gestured with his hands, "If you see some enchilada sauce, grab a can, too. That should be it. I'll call you if I need anything else." Sanji paused. "Well, I would, if I had your number. Do you have a cell phone?"

"Oh, asking for my number? You're not getting fresh with me, are you?"

"Just give me your damned number."

Zoro laughed as they exchanged numbers and hopped out the door to avoid Sanji's departing kick. He didn't know why he was feeling so playful all of a sudden, but he practically flew down the stairs and ran to the market. He looked at the rows of chickens facing him in the market and felt a shadow of doubt in his mind as he looked at the poultry. "Honey Dijon, lemon, barbeque, pepper…why don't they have 'normal?' Excuse me," Zoro turned to the woman working at the counter. "Do you have, um, plain baked chicken? Without any of that weird stuff on it?" The woman looked at him oddly but pointed it out. "Thanks." He flashed her a relieved smile and she blushed.

---

"I'm home, Lucy!" Zoro called as he pushed the door to his apartment open.

Sanji turned around with a sour look on his face. "Please don't tell me that you watch _I Love Lucy. _If I didn't know any better then I'd say you were acting pretty gay right now. Oh, but wait, I _don't_ know any better," he snapped. "Where are the groceries?"

Zoro tossed the bags to Sanji and yawned, checking his watch. "Bah, no wonder I'm so tired. I missed my five o'clock nap."

"Your…nap?" Sanji stopped opening the can of enchilada sauce. "What are you, five?"

Zoro grumbled as he flopped onto the couch. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hurry up and make dinner, mom, I'm hungry. Wake me up when you're done."

Sanji watched in fascination as Zoro began to immediately snore. He shook his head and poured oil into a frying pan, waiting for it to heat. He then proceeded to fry the tortillas and dip them in the sauce. As they fried, he sautéed the chicken with thinly slices onions and more enchilada sauce mixed in. Cooking and arranging his ingredients today made him feel especially cheerful, for some reason; maybe it was the new feel of a kitchen being broken in for the first time. He hummed the lyrics of a song he had heard on the radio not too long ago, eventually breaking out into soft singing as he worked. _"Let's spread out this fortunate night, ooh, when you smile it caramelizes my heart…the taste of the evening is, hmmm, dark chocolate…"_

(A/N: Moulin Rouge, by Sanji—at least, sung by his seiyu.)

---

Zoro woke up to a vaguely spicy scent and the sound of something singing.

"Hmm?" Zoro sat up groggily and looked around. Who was cooking in his kitchen? He didn't think he'd let in any of the girls…

"_Bitter and sweet, Moulin Rouge…"_ Sanji sang, stirring a steaming pot gently. _"Sugarcoat your voice…"_ He took a spoon and tasted whatever was in the pot, smiling happily as he licked the spoon clean. Sanji looked up and froze, spoon halfway out of his mouth, as he and Zoro stared at each other.

"Nice," Zoro chuckled as he stood and walked over to the cooking area. "Are you done, or were you planning on entering American Idol while you were at it?"

Sanji coughed embarrassedly and nodded. "I'm done. Set the table, would you?" Zoro laughed at the blush dusting Sanji's cheeks and complied. "Go wash your hands, too."

"Yes, mother."

"Hrmph…"

When Zoro returned, his mouth began to water as he smelled the meal that Sanji had prepared. He swallowed and ambled to the table, looking at the food eagerly in anticipation. "Smells pretty good, cook."

"Oh, thanks. I laced it with arsenic just for you," Sanji said sweetly. "We're having enchiladas with Spanish rice and caldo de pollo. I made fresh mango salsa, too." Sanji gestured to the table. "Let's eat."

Zoro looked at the food dubiously, but after the first bite he dug in heartily. "You know, I've lived in Navarone all my life, but I've never had Mexican food. I always see this taco truck driving around everywhere, though."

Sanji looked up in surprise. "You've never had Mexican before? I would have thought that a culinary-challenged guy like you would practically live off the stuff. It's cheap, but good and fast. Don't trust those taco trucks unless you know that they're okay, though," Sanji warned. "A friend of mine did, and he ended up with food poisoning because the vendors had left the meat out too long."

"Mm, I see," Zoro said around a mouthful of rice. Sanji watched him eat in slight disgust as Zoro cut up his cheesy enchiladas with the side of his fork and stabbed the pieces individually before sticking them in his mouth, chewing vigorously.

"One day I'm going to teach you fine dining manners," Sanji said, shaking his head as he cut his enchilada with a knife. "Oh, jeez, don't use the tablecloth as a napkin. It's a good thing I chose the machine-washable cloth."

"Isn't that what it's there for?" Zoro asked in surprise, lifting his mouth from where he'd been scrubbing it with the tablecloth.

"What? No. It's there to protect the table from scratches and stains. Napkins are for wiping yourself."

They finished their meal without any further arguments, although Sanji would wince when Zoro wiped his mouth with his hand or burped in satisfaction. Once the main meal was finished and the dishes were left to soak in the sink, Sanji turned to Zoro and asked, "Ready for dessert?"

After that scrumptious meal, Zoro was definitely ready.

"Almond jelly with maraschino cherries and lychee on top," Sanji said, lifting the cover of two small dishes that he had left in the refrigerator. "I prefer to make this from scratch, but I made it this time with the instant mix that I had intended for you to use. It's a lighter dessert, since dinner was on the heavy side."

Zoro dug his spoon into the white jelly and slurped it off the spoon with a hint of curiosity. As he sampled the dish, he decided that it might not kill him to try and cook once in a while. He polished the dish off and licked the juice from the bottom of the bowl, licking his lips in satisfaction. Sanji watched him eat with a pleased look on his face.

"Don't get too cocky, but that was a pretty good meal," Zoro said gruffly. "Gochisousama."

Sanji looked at him in confusion, nibbling on a lychee fruit. "You didn't just curse me out, did you?"

Zoro smirked. "No. It means 'it's been a feast' or something. Basically, thank you for the meal."

"What language is that?"

"It's Japanese."

"You're Japanese, then?"

"Eh, sort of. My family members say that we're full-blooded Japanese, but I suspect that they're hiding some Ainu blood somewhere along the line," Zoro said noncommittally.

"Why would they hide it?" Sanji asked curiously. "I've never heard of the Ainu before."

"You probably wouldn't have. They're a pretty small minority in Japan. That's what usually happens to indigenous people," Zoro explained. "It can be a social stigma at times, I've heard. I don't think it's really that important. There are some traditions that my family maintains that don't seem to come from Japan, so I'm guessing they're just traces from my Ainu side. I'm probably part Okinawan, too. You're French, aren't you?"

Sanji blinked at the sudden question aimed at him. "Yeah. Baratie's about as French as you can get. My dad adopted me, though, so I can't be too sure. But I was raised by a shitty old French geezer, so that's all the cultural heritage I have." Zoro was curious to ask about a mother, but held his tongue—he didn't want to get too personal just yet.

"Ah, I see. Oh, by the way, are you busy this Wednesday night?" Zoro asked bluntly. No point beating around the bush, after all.

"I'm working at Rain Dinners the rest of the nights this week. I'd be working tonight, too, but Monday nights are usually slow enough that Patty and Carne are enough to keep the tables full."

"Oh." Zoro managed to successful mask his disappointment. "Okay. It's just that I was having some friends over, if you wanted to join…maybe after you get off work or something. If you don't mind. I mean, you don't have to." _Shit, stop babbling, you fool!_

Sanji was taken aback, but seemed to be flattered that the opportunity had been offered. "I'll see if I can get off from work early. When are you guys meeting up?"

"Around six-ish. They'll probably end up sticking around until midnight at least, though."

"I think I can make it at around 10, then. The kitchens slow down dramatically near the end of the night, because no one wants to cook if the food will just go to waste. Should I bring anything?"

Zoro shook his head. "Franky's bringing booze and the women are bringing food. I think Usopp said something about teaching us some new games, but I don't really trust that guy."

Sanji grinned. "Sounds good, then." He checked his watch. "I've gotta go. There's a group of hot nurses at the hospital who love to stop by for a cup of coffee on their way to their night shifts. I'll see you Wednesday, then?"

Zoro nodded. "Yep. See you later." Zoro turned once the door closed and looked at the pile of greasy dishes waiting for him. "Oh, damn."

---

Zoro stared at the ceiling, watching the way the light streaked across it from the street lamps outside. It was not particularly late for him—only around midnight—so he didn't feel sleepy. Even if it had been 3 AM, he probably would have still been awake. He was thinking about Sanji. He realized that once they got over their initial antagonism, they could have a pretty good time together. He'd never met anyone like Sanji before—calm, when women or his pride weren't involved, and confident in his abilities with reason. He was the kind of man who stuck to his convictions, and was obviously intelligent and not naïve. Sanji, Zoro realized, was pretty similar to him. Maybe a bit more kitchen-savvy and oriented around manners, though.

Zoro threw the sheets back and walked into his living room. The place practically reeked of Sanji—everything had been chosen by the man, after all. Zoro wasn't sure yet what kind of tastes Sanji had, but he was pretty sure that the items he'd bought could give him a pretty good hint. Zoro stretched out on the sofa, seeing that it was just long enough for him to almost stretch out completely, and that it was firm and durable, yet stylish in its simplicity. He reached for the remote control on the coffee table and flicked on the (new, really expensive) stereo, listening to the bass of the music throbbing in his chest. As the music transitioned from techno to trance, he gradually began to fall asleep with psychedelic images and colors running through his mind. He fell into a dreamland with dancing enchiladas and seas of Spanish rice.

---

"So, Sanji, why don't you tell me who's been on your mind lately?" Nami inquired over the rim of her coffee cup, smiling sweetly. Her legs were crossed and her foot tapped gently against the chair, and she held the cup daintily in one hand; despite this femininity, she looked like a warrior ready for battle with the determined gleam in her eyes.

Sanji looked up from watching the coffee beans he was roasting. "What do you mean, my love?"

Nami rolled her eyes. "Sanji, I've known you for years. I can tell when you're distracted. Just look at your pastries." Sanji looked, and groaned. Normal passersby wouldn't be able to tell, but he could, and Nami could; the filling was oozing slightly out of his pastries, they were not perfectly uniform in shape and size, and now that he was thinking about it, his coffee beans were being burned.

Perfect. Things were getting progressively worse.

"So, who's the lucky recipient of your attention? Other than me," Nami said with a smirk.

"I assure you, my pretty flower, that no woman could ever—"

"Who ever said it was a woman?"

"W-what?" Sanji gaped.

She tapped her nose knowingly. "You don't usually pummel the dough when you're thinking about women. Plus, I'm pretty sure I heard you muttering 'bastard' and 'asshole' under your breath."

"Ah, I apologize for making you hear such profanities!" Sanji wailed.

"Stow the flowery talk. Who is it, Sanji?" Her eyes narrowed dangerously. She only had a few minutes before she had to go to work. Perhaps she would have to fish around. "It's not that guy who was here before, was it? The green-haired fellow?" When Sanji turned red and began stammering protests, she grinned inwardly. _Bingo._ "Ah, I have to go to work right now. We'll talk later, neh?" She walked out the door with a pleased smile on her face.

Sanji watched her leave morosely and began to clean up her plate and cup.

As he cleaned the dishes, he couldn't help but wonder if Zoro had washed his dishes.

---

Tuesday came and went uneventfully. So did Wednesday afternoon.

Zoro remembered to finish washing the dishes that had been piling up since Monday. He had also tried to make almond jelly. He tasted it and was satisfied—even he couldn't mess up when the instructions said to "Mix water and powder. Stir until dissolved. Put in fridge. Eat (1) hour later."

He was pretty pleased with himself, although he had mysteriously forgotten about his first attempt at making the dessert. He had ended up with a bowl of goop that vaguely resembled nasal discharge.

Zoro had remembered to clean up the apartment and do his laundry—he even mopped the floors—and wiped the counters. The trash was taken out; the bags of empty beer cans were left in the recycling bin.

For some reason, he wanted his friends to see his apartment the way that it had been intended to be lived in—somewhat in a state of cleanliness.

He refused to spray the tropical Febreeze that Sanji had pointedly left in the laundry room, though.

At six o'clock, Luffy was the first to arrive with Usopp, Chopper, and Franky. Luffy was carrying his Xbox 360 as Usopp and Chopper carried the controls; Franky arrived with a crate of bottles.

"Cola, beer, and rum," Franky said with a grin, looking over his sunglasses. "You have the rest of the ingredients for what I'm thinking about, right?"

"Long Island Ice Tea, right?" Zoro nodded. "Yeah. Don't use your drunkenness as an excuse for when I whoop your ass in Halo, though."

Robin and Vivi arrived together, laden with aluminum containers of food. They came in the middle of a heated Halo match, and Zoro opened the door while shouting at the other guys. "I swear, if you try and—oh, you think you're good, Usopp? Headshot while I'm distracted? You're going down! I'm not talking about in the game, either! Come on in, you guys," Zoro turned to the bemused women. "The kitchen's over there."

"Is that Halo I see, Zoro?" Vivi asked after they had put the food on the oven to stay warm.

"Yeah. Have you ever played before?"

Vivi and Robin exchanged looks.

"Oh, we might have dabbled in it once or twice," Robin said, smiling sweetly.

"Can we play? We're not very good, but…" Vivi looked at them innocently. "I'm sure we could manage." She fiddled with the hem of her skirt shyly.

Luffy laughed excitedly. "Ooh, more players? Usopp, go get your Xbox so we can all play!" Usopp grumbled but ran out the door and came back in record time.

An hour later, the men all agreed that it was time for dinner after an exhausting campaign of being slaughtered by the two women.

"'Dabbled' my ass," Franky muttered.

"We brought Korean food," Robin said cheerfully. "Galbi, japchae, dumplings, and some banchan—side dishes." Everyone eagerly dug into the food, savoring the flavor of the beef ribs and clear japchae noodles.

"Oh, is Sanji coming?" Luffy asked around a mouthful of cabbage and meat. Zoro wiped the food that Luffy sprayed on his face automatically—he was almost used to it by now—and nodded.

"He said he'd be here around ten. You guys'll be here longer than that, right?"

Franky snorted. "Ten? Please. The night will still be young. Like a nubile woman going to bed with her first lover." Everyone stared.

"Okay, Franky, I think you've had too much to drink already," Usopp said, looking embarrassed for his friend. "After dinner, I have some other activities we can play!" Everyone immediately began to eat more slowly, not relishing the idea of playing Usopp's games.

Still, the food was delicious, and polished off rather quickly with Luffy eating.

Usopp slapped his stomach in contentment and wiped his mouth. "Alright, we're going to play some games I invented! Ready?"

"No," the group chorused. Usopp continued as though he hadn't heard.

"Excellent! Zoro, do you have any Alka-Seltzer?"

"Yeah. We're not going to feed them to the seagulls, are we?"

Usopp scoffed. "Please, that's amateurish. They don't eat it, anyway. I've tried. We'll need some cola, too." Zoro went and fetched the required items, prying a few bottles of cola from Franky's protective grasp.

"Now what?"

Usopp began to pour small amounts of cola into the cups. "So what you do is hold the Alka-Seltzer tablet in one hand and a cup of cola in the other. You then put the Alka-Seltzer in your mouth at the same time as the soda. Whoever can keep his or her mouth shut the longest without swallowing or letting it come out wins!"

"…"

"…"

"That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard of."

"Amen, brother."

Usopp groaned. "Come on, it's fun. Just try it."

Zoro looked at the opened packets of Alka-Seltzer and sighed. "You already opened it, so we might as well play. You're buying me more of this stuff to replace what we're wasting later, okay?"

"Fine, fine. Ready?" They held their tools at the ready. "Set. Go!" Tablets were popped into dubious mouths and cola was poured.

At first, nothing happened. Chopper was chuckling at the bubbling sensation in his mouth, and Zoro rolled his eyes in boredom.

Then, the cola really began to work its magic, and the bubbles fizzed rapidly and expanded. Luffy's eyes flew open in alarm as his mouth expanded, and Robin shook her head as she spat neatly into her cup before the liquid in her mouth could react too much.

"Oh, it looks like I've lost," she said, not looking perturbed at all. Usopp glared at her, but stubbornly kept his mouth shut.

Chopper was next to go, and then Vivi. Franky, Usopp, Luffy, and Zoro glared at each other.

"Zoro doesn't look too bad," Chopper whispered to Robin. "But the other guys look like they're really struggling." Indeed, Franky was beginning to foam at the mouth. Finally, he spat the almost completely dissolved tablet out and swallowed.

"Can't let perfectly good cola go to waste, can I?" Franky protested as Zoro looked at him in disgust.

Luffy was the next to go in a fabulous spray of cola, bubbles, and bits of food that had been stuck in his teeth. Zoro gesticulated wildly, pointing at the wall and floor angrily and gesturing to the bathroom. _Clean that mess up!_ he was indicating. Luffy laughed and did so, with Robin's help.

It was a battle between Usopp and Zoro. Zoro watched in amusement as Usopp's eyes bugged out, trying to keep his mouth shut. However, the long-nosed man had to concede defeat as he fairly burst and spat into his cup.

"Damnit, Zoro, you weren't swallowing the bubbles, were you?" Usopp cried angrily, wiping his mouth. "Your mouth isn't even puffed out at all!"

Zoro grinned and opened his mouth. They all looked in and saw that his Alka-Seltzer was sitting harmlessly on the tip of his tongue, above the pool of cola that he had kept under his tongue. Zoro spat into his cup and laughed.

"I'd have thought that this was the obvious solution to win," Zoro said innocently.

"Gah!" Usopp yelled. "I've been practicing this for weeks, too!"

"You have no life, Usopp," Luffy stated matter-of-factly as he mopped up the last of his mess.

"O-oi!"

---

A/N: Yes, the Alka-Seltzer game is a real game. Well, real in the sense that I've played it with my friends before after my teacher taught us how to play (yeah, this is what we learn in school). It's really fun if you have a lot of people!

---

Sanji left Rain Dinners wearily, stretching his tired limbs. He had about forty-five minutes before the time that he had told Zoro to expect him, and he was in sore need of a shower. Today's menu had included garlic-fried shrimp, and he reeked of the stuff. He drove home (taking care to spray Febreeze in the car after he had vacated it to mask the smell) and showered, willing the hot water to wash away the ache in his arms and legs. He breathed in deeply, savoring the clean smell of cucumber shampoo and soap. After climbing out of the shower, he dried himself and left the towel to dry—there was no point in being modest when he lived alone, after all.

_Should I dress casually? I don't want to look like a slob, though. Jeans should be okay. But the ladies will be there. Should I wear that shirt I got from Kubo Inc.? Or would the vest be more appropriate? Maybe I should have made something and he was too polite to ask. Yeah. Right. Should I bring drinks? But it's a Wednesday night. Games? Kind of lame. Myself! Yeah, really cool right there._

It took Sanji ten minutes to drive home, five minutes to shower, and twenty minutes to agonize over what to wear.

He finally threw on whatever was at hand when he realized that he was going to be late.

Sanji drove like a maniac and screeched to a halt in the Galley-La parking structure. He bypassed the elevators and sprinted up the stairs, only stopping to compose himself right outside the door. "Hair? Check. Diesel jeans and Kubo Inc. shirt neatly pressed and ready to go? Check. Face and underarms…perspiration negligible. Check." He straightened his shirt out and knocked on the door.

---

The next few hours flew by in a whirl of games and conversation. Zoro had completely forgotten that Sanji was supposed to be coming until he heard a knock on the door. Sanji stood there, looking tired but clean. Evidently, he had gone home to clean up before coming, and he was looking pretty good in form-fitting shirt with the words 'Speaking is Not Communication' emblazoned across the chest and dark jeans.

"'m glad you could make it," Zoro said automatically. "Come on in." Sanji took note that Zoro was only dressed in sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt, which somewhat comforted him, but not very much.

Sanji smirked. "Don't mind if I do. What've you guys been doing for the past few hours? Waiting for me?" He winked roguishly at Zoro. _Sanji, what the hell are you doing?_ he thought to himself. _Stop that, you beast!_ He removed his shoes after a pointed look from Zoro and set them neatly beside the pile of shoes that had grown next to the door—pumps, stilettos, sneakers, and boots were already there.

Zoro snorted. "Just fooling around. We're about to start the next activity, according to Usopp. Want in on it?"

"Sounds good."

"I'll have Franky make you a drink. Oi, Franky!"

Sanji greeted everyone—especially the ladies—with courtesy, nodding in approval at the state of the apartment. Apart from the mess of empty bottles and plates left around from the party, it was as clean as he had left it. Apparently, soap and water weren't entirely foreign to Zoro.

"So, what're you doing?" Sanji asked Usopp amiably. Usopp grinned and pulled out a pack of cards from his pocket.

"Ladies and gents, we're about to play poker. But not just any poker. This isn't for the faint of heart or meek…"

"Strip poker, huh?" Sanji interrupted. "C'mon, let's do this thing."

"Oi! You're ruining the atmosphere!"

"You were taking too long, Usopp," Luffy laughed as he tried to shuffle the cards. They flew everywhere, and they all scrambled to fetch them.

"Not you too, Luffy!" Usopp protested, throwing up his arms.

"How do you play strip poker?" Chopper asked. "Some roommates of mine told me about it a long time ago, but I never learned how to play. You don't use poker chips?"

Franky laughed heartily. "The only chips we use are on our bodies. We bet with our clothes."

"But what if you run out…oh…oooh," Chopper said, eyes wide. "Oh."

Sanji chuckled. "Yep. That's pretty much how it goes. Whoever loses each hand takes off an article of clothing, right?"

"That's correct, my curly-browed friend," Franky said with a hiccup. Sanji let the comment pass due to his drunkenness. After all, Franky was the one mixing the drinks.

Zoro sat down and rubbed his hands together. "Everyone ready? Let's play, then."

Usopp dealt the cards. The game was on.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! (and I will try to keep from inserting A/N into the middle of the chapter). It's very helpful! I've been having a bit of a writer's block (especially with 'End of Seclusion,' omg, it's awful) but here is the next chapter! It's a bit short (a little less than 5000 words) but it's the only chapter that I have written so far that is this short for this story. I'll try to get chapter 5 out soon.

---

Zoro looked at his poker hand and groaned. It was only the first round, but already he was steeling himself to remove his shirt. At least he had a good build. He looked carefully around the table and chuckled. Vivi, Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp were as readable as ever; Franky was a bit harder to read, but his inebriation made him more expressive. Zoro scowled as Robin smiled serenely at him. Trying to gauge her was like trying to read Arabic. When you…didn't know how to read Arabic.

Zoro then took a casual glance at Sanji and found that he was being stared at intensely. How could he not have noticed such _malice_ aimed at him? It was astonishing. Zoro felt the heat rise in his face at his inattention, and wondered whether it was truly malice that was aimed at him. It was hard to tell. Zoro jumped and nearly dropped his cards, and Usopp cackled.

"Aha! Zoro must have a crappy hand! Ow!" He rubbed his arm where Zoro had socked him.

Needless to say, Zoro's was the first shirt to come off.

"You know, bro, I've seen you shirtless I don't know how many times, but that scar always makes me feel for you," Franky said, taking a swig from his cup.

Sanji stared. A wicked-looking gash ate its way up Zoro's torso, cleaving his body into two distinct halves and giving him a rough and wild look. What kind of injury in hell left a man with a scar like _that?_ Zoro was a bronze hue, with scars wrapping all over his body. He resembled a bronze statue that had been treated none too gently, but which was still magnificent. Even while sitting and relaxed, those muscles looked to be permanently flexed and toned.

He couldn't stop staring.

"Why don't you explain what happened to Sanji?" Robin suggested as she took his shirt (she had won the round). "He looks rather traumatized."

Zoro grunted. "It's not a big story. Mihawk—the guy I work for now—was looking all over Japan for the best kendo master. I just happened to be in a competition to earn my airfare back home, and he saw me. That's when he offered me the job. I was being stupid," Zoro snorted, "and told him that he could offer his fancy position to one of the other participants, because I don't work for anyone that can't beat me."

"What happened?" Sanji asked in morbid curiosity.

Zoro smiled crookedly. "That was pretty much a straight challenge to him. We fought with our real swords, not that bamboo shit, because I thought that it would 'look cooler.' I've heard of his name before, and I guess I was just looking for an excuse to fight him. He didn't even need to draw his sword to beat me, but…" Zoro grinned manically. "I guess something just caught his eye, and he said that he'd deign to use his real blade against me. Cut me clean in half, too. They took me to the hospital, but it was so deep that they couldn't do anything about the scarring. Not that I'd let them, of course."

Silence followed his words.

"So…next round?" Usopp proposed timidly. He trembled, as though cowed by the weight of Zoro's story.

They continued to play, and the rest of the night was far lighter than the first round was.

"Luffy, you're down to your boxers. Shouldn't you, um, stop?" Chopper asked anxiously.

"Shishishi, why? I'll just play naked, then!" He jumped up and began to dance. "Look! Ace taught me this move!"

"Oh, god! My eyes!" Usopp yelped, exposing his cards as he covered his face. "Stop _thrusting_, Luffy!"

"Like hell you'll do that! Not in front of the ladies!" Sanji growled, throwing a pillow at him. "That's indecent."

"You're not in such a good position either, cook. You're this close to losing those expensive pants of yours." Zoro showed his cards. "Yep. Take 'em off, pansy, unless you're wearing the tighty-wighties that your mama bought you."

"You picking a fight, moss head?!"

Vivi folded when she was just shy of revealing her undergarments. Sanji's face fell.

"You know, I'm feeling super in this! Maybe I'll just walk around like this all day!" Franky danced, swinging his hips and rolling his arms in his underwear. His very, very tight Superman underwear that made Robin chuckle and watch out of the corner of her eye. She was fully-clothed, and had a small pile of their clothing beside her.

Chopper was forced to quit as he blushingly handed his jeans to Zoro.

"I, the great Captain Usopp, once played strip poker and saw the panties of a thousand women! All at the same time!"

"Oi, you don't put that kind of stuff in your children's books, do you?"

After many rounds had been played, it was between Sanji, Robin, and Zoro. Both men were stripped to their boxers, and had even removed their socks in desperation. Robin smiled sweetly, still fully-clothed as she stared down the nearly-naked men. Zoro was astonished to see that Sanji was actually muscular, in a lean way. His pale skin was the same smooth creamy wash from his fingertips to his chest, without any perceivable change from where the sun was exposed on that flawless canvas. He could see a few scars on Sanji's hands—cooking accidents, no doubt—but this man was clean. Pure.

Zoro grumbled to himself as he shook his head; he was losing focus on the game.

Robin put down her hand and revealed a full house of queens over tens. Zoro and Sanji cursed simultaneously.

"Damnit, woman, I swear that you're cheating somehow!"

"Ah, to expose myself to these lovely women wouldn't be proper at all!"

They glared at each other. "What do you have?" they demanded to each other. Huffing, they revealed their cards.

They both had a pair of fives.

"Wow, both your hands kind of sucked," Luffy guffawed. "So do you both lose, or what?"

"It's up to Robin, I guess," Usopp said. "Robin?"

Robin looked at the two mortified men and smiled.

---

"Thanks for having us over, Zoro!"

"Yeah, it was a real blast!"

"We'll see you tomorrow night at Cipher Pol, then!"

"Do you need help cleaning up? No? Alright. Goodnight!"

"Don't get too friendly while we're gone, you two! Ouch!"

Zoro slammed the door in Usopp's laughing face, turning red as he turned around to face Sanji.

"That woman's a devil, you know?"

Sanji scratched his chin sheepishly. "Well, I'm sure it was all in the spirit of the game…"

"She's a perverted devil. She's kind of like Franky, but on the down-low."

"Don't speak about Robin like that," Sanji protested without much feeling.

They were still kind of awkward after Robin had made them take off their underpants. Luckily, they had been quick enough to be able to cover themselves up, but Zoro would never touch the pillows on his couch again after they had been used as replacement fig leaves.

"I mean, what kind of woman looks at two men with their dignity on the line and says '_What are you waiting for, take them off'?_" Zoro muttered to himself. "Thanks for agreeing to help me clean up, though. Do you have to get up early tomorrow?"

"I'll manage. I think I saw a puddle of cola and something bubbling under the couch, though."

"It's the Alka-Seltzer game."

"How do you play?"

"You really don't want to know."

They cleaned the apartment quickly and flopped onto the two couches wearily. "Man, I'm tired," Sanji moaned, stretching and feeling his shoulders crack. Zoro looked at Sanji's exhausted face, and was astonished by how tired Sanji was. Rain Dinners must really take a lot out of him.

"Er, if you want, you can bunk out here for the night," Zoro proposed awkwardly. "I mean, you'll have to sleep on the couch, but I have some extra blankets and stuff…"

Sanji grinned, despite his fatigue. "Oh, asking me to stay the night? You're being quite forward."

"Don't mock my hospitality."

"Yeah, yeah. Nah, I can't stay," Sanji said, without any of the regret that he was feeling nibbling at his brain. "It'll be easier if I go home now, since I can just roll out of bed and open up the café in the morning. Thanks for offering, though." Sanji stood, yawning mightily. "I'm off. Thanks for inviting me. Your friends are very interesting." He walked to the door. "I'll see you later?"

Zoro rose and accompanied him. "Yeah. Eh, no problem. You know, they're your friends now too," Zoro said with a slight smile. "Good night." He shut the door with a final wave.

---

_Beep. Beep. Beep._ Sanji slammed a hand on the alarm clock, grumbling as he looked at the time. He could have counted the hours of sleep he had on one hand, and still have plenty of digits left to pick his nose.

Not that Sanji Baratie picked his nose. Ever.

_Yeah, Sanji, that was a pretty bad use of rhetoric right there,_ he thought incoherently before rolling out of bed and landing on the floor with a grunt. _Maybe the cabbage head isn't too stupid for having his bed on the floor. It makes me wonder how many mornings he's had to roll out of bed for him to just stick to a mattress, though._

Sanji yawned as he went into the kitchen to pour a glass of water. He took one look in the mirror at himself and grimaced. He wouldn't be surprised if the mirror cracked from just how horrible he looked right now.

"Joy, Thursday morning," Sanji groaned. "Time to wake up." He knew that there was only one good way to wake up on a morning like this. He stripped and stepped into the shower, bracing himself before turning up the cold water. He waited tensely, knowing that his faucets took a few seconds to respond. Then, the frigid water slapped his back.

"Aaaah, that's much…brrrrrr….b-b-better," he chattered.

---

Miraculous things happen in which Sanji cleans himself up and is fully awake.

---

"Good morning, Nami!" Sanji said cheerfully as the bell tinkled. She was earlier than usual today, but he already had her normal order ready, sitting on a plate next to a cup of her favorite coffee blend.

"I'd say good morning too, if you got my name right," a deep voice said in amusement. Sanji spun around and saw Zoro looking at him in amusement. Zoro was wearing a black tracksuit with a black t-shirt underneath. His hair was, once again, covered by a black beanie.

"You look like you're going to go rob a bank or something," Sanji said sourly. "What do you want?"

Zoro sighed as he pulled out his wallet. "You really ought to be more courteous to your paying customers. I'll have…" Zoro looked in the display case, and Sanji dreaded what he was going to order. "…that yellow thing, with the green and red on top."

Sanji winced. "Do you mean the spinach and tomato omelet? That one there is only a display item. I'll have yours ready in a few minutes. Go sit down." Sanji turned and went to the fetch the ingredients he'd need. He looked behind him when he saw that Zoro wasn't moving. "What?"

Zoro rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Uh, do you mind if I watch? I like watching you cook. I mean," he bristled defensively, although Sanji hadn't said a word, "I want to learn. Just by watching. I won't get in your way."

Sanji regarded him inquisitively, the cogs of his brain clicking rapidly. "Hm, sure. Go ahead. Just don't touch anything, alright?" Zoro hastily put down the lemon zester that he had picked up the moment Sanji had given him an affirmative answer. "I swear, you're like a kid."

"So how do you make omelet, then?"

As Sanji cracked the eggs and whisked them, he couldn't help but feel slightly odd with the way Zoro was staring at him—at the deft motions of his hands, the twist of his wrists as he dashed salt and pepper into the mix, and the sweeping motion as he poured the egg into the oiled pan. As he folded the vegetables into the mix, he couldn't help but be glad that this dish was so simple that he needed little conscious effort to make it.

"There. Now you know how to make omelet," Sanji said, sliding the omelet onto a plate. Before Zoro could take it, Sanji paused, and reached into one of the display cases for a slice of bread. "Here. Pumpernickel bread."

Zoro took the plate with a blank look on his face. "Oh. Thanks." He went and sat, not seeing the disappointment that flashed across Sanji's face at the bland reaction. As they went back into the main part of the café, they saw that Nami had already entered and taken her usual order to a table. She smirked when she saw them coming.

"I don't believe we've been properly introduced," she said in a sugary-sweet voice. "My name is Nami Dorobou." She held out a hand daintily, and he shook it firmly.

"I'm Zoro Roronoa," Zoro said, releasing her hand and taking a seat at a far table without another word. She blinked, not quite believing that he had just cut off any further conversation with her, before turning to Sanji.

"So, this is why you were preoccupied, hm? Oh, you don't have to answer," she said airily. "Go and talk to him. Go on, shoo."

Sanji eased himself into the chair in front of Zoro and watched Zoro bite into his omelet. Zoro's eyes widened slightly before he began to shovel the eggs into his mouth.

_A bit crude, but that's the reaction I'm looking for,_ Sanji thought in satisfaction. "Want anything to drink?" Zoro looked up and nodded. "Coffee?" Zoro shook his head violently as he chewed. "Orange juice?" Nodding. "Orange juice it is, then."

"Thanks," Zoro finally said after swallowing.

"Why do you come to a café if you don't like coffee?" Sanji asked curiously. "You seem like the kind of guy who'd like strong, black coffee."

Zoro shrugged. "It's not bad, but it dehydrates the body. The jolt of energy you receive also makes you more susceptible to crashing later in the day, which would be bad if I was teaching at the time."

"That makes sense, I guess," Sanji conceded. "When do you have classes today?"

"I have an adult class today at ten. You know, Bon's going to be there today too."

Sanji continued as though Zoro hadn't mentioned Bon Kurei. "You teach adults, too?"

"Yeah, the police department has its officers take classes at Baroque Works every day. Twice a week, they come to me. There aren't very many of them, though. Why?"

Sanji shrugged. "I can't imagine you teaching adults. I mean, kids are one thing, but older students need real training, you know?"

"Are you implying that I can't teach?"

Sanji shrugged again, smiling craftily. "Oh, of course I'm not. I'm not implying that a musclehead like you couldn't teach a _real_ class. Oh, no, not at all."

Zoro choked slightly on his food, pounding his chest to clear it. "You're looking for another fight, aren't you? Bastard. Fine, come and see me teach if you're so eager to be proven wrong."

"Okay, then." Although he was mockingly serious on the outside, inwardly Sanji grinned widely.

Now he had an excuse to come along with the swordsman again.

---

Sanji stared. This class was very, very different from the last. It was smaller, but more rigid in its discipline. The handful of students consisted of the four officers that Sanji had seen when Buggy's gang had tried to rob him, as well as two rougher looking men that Sanji did not recognize. They sat on their knees in a straight line, backs straight and mouths firm save for when they stood, bowed, and shouted, "Good morning, Zoro-sensei!" Then, they sat down and stared at him warily; their eyes didn't even flicker to look at Sanji.

"Yosaku! Johnny! Since you two were late, the class has to do team squats," Zoro barked the moment the two men slunk into the class a minute after the clock had struck the hour.

"Awe, crap," Helmoppo muttered, glaring at the two tardy students.

"Shut up, you idiot!" Jango hissed, but it was too late. Zoro turned to them with an evil grin on his face.

"The punishment has been doubled on account of Helmoppo's language. Any more complaints?"

"No…sensei," the group muttered. Team squats consisted of performing squats with your partner on your shoulders. A small scuffle broke out over who would partner up with Tashigi—she was the lightest—but eventually settled when Zoro glared at them pointedly.

"Do you want me to triple that? I can, if you want. Or I could make you do them up the stairs," Zoro said lightly. "Good. Tashigi, deepen that stance. Jango, stop choking her with your knees—her face is turning blue. Good job, Coby. Uh…Yosaku, if you can't even stand normally with Johnny on your shoulders, then I'll let you use the normal weights for now." When they were done, Zoro smiled in a rather friendly manner.

Everyone shivered. Even Sanji felt a chill when he saw that warm, paternal smile cross Zoro's face.

It was like seeing an oasis in the desert. They all knew that it was just a mirage.

"Today, I will gauge how much you have improved since your last session by one-on-one matches with me. After that, you will pair up according to how I see fit and will spar against one another. Who would like to go first?" Zoro looked around, and everyone save Tashigi stared straight ahead, sweating slightly.

"I'll go, sensei," Tashigi volunteered. Zoro nodded, and they both picked shinai from a barrel in the corner of the room. Sanji watched interestedly—he wondered how good Zoro really was.

"Ready, Tashigi? Begin when you feel comfortable," Zoro said. Tashigi took a deep breath and surged forward, her bare feet nimble on the firm mats. Her first strike was a feint, but the true strike that she aimed at his ribs was fended off easily. Sanji couldn't tear his eyes from the sight. While Tashigi was surprisingly graceful (she had shown herself to be quite clumsy during the squats) her form was still slightly flawed, although Sanji couldn't be sure. The match went on for a few minutes, with Tashigi on the offensive and Zoro on the defensive. Tashigi shook the sweat from her eyes, and Zoro merely smiled in amusement.

_Why isn't he attacking?_ Sanji wondered. He saw Zoro's eyes were sharp and focused on Tashigi's form and reflexes, although he kept an eye on where she was attacking. Zoro nodded to himself as though to reassure his own mind that he had learned all he needed to know, and disarmed her with a single deft motion. The bamboo shinai flew across the room and smacked Johnny in the face.

"Tashigi, you must open your awareness up," Zoro reprimanded. "Johnny, your reflexes also need work. You could be a fine swordswoman if you got rid of your tunnel vision and became more aware of combat as a whole. You are too focused on each step, rather than looking ahead. Your feet were well-positioned, but I would suggest a wide stance for greater stability. Your grip is adequate. Good, you may sit. Next!" Coby came forward, his knees quivering slightly.

Sanji watched the rest of them sparring with Zoro and saw that Zoro would evaluate each student thoroughly before disarming them with a single motion. He was obviously at ease, moving like water to flow between the attacks and to read the students with a single, experienced glance. Sanji was startled to find himself leaning forward, yearning to see Zoro fight someone seriously. He wanted to see a real blade in those large hands, and the fighting spirit of a beast emanating from those dark eyes.

Dark eyes that he found staring right back at him.

"Ero-cook, you've been staring at me and it's kind of freaking me out," Zoro said. His eyes were twinkling in amusement.

Sanji turned red and looked away in mortification, but realized just how expressive Zoro's eyes really were. The rest of the lesson continued without a hitch, but that changed near the very end.

"Zoro, darling, I've come to—oh, my! Sanji!" Bon trilled, leaping through the door. "I've missed you so much! Why didn't you_ call?_" Bon had written his phone number in lipstick on Sanji's arm. Sanji, in turn, had scrubbed it off the moment he'd found a bathroom. The students sniggered at Sanji's predicament, and Sanji could have sworn that he heard someone say _"It's because he's so pretty, huh."_ He was slightly mollified when Zoro rapped all the students on their heads in a line when he couldn't identify the perpetrator.

"Sanji, _mon cher amour_, how are you today?" Bon asked, sidling up to Sanji and pinning him in a tight hug. Sanji winced as Bon kissed him on both cheeks, struggling under the surprisingly strong man's grasp. He was sure that when a person hugged you, that that person's hands shouldn't have roamed that far down. "It has been too long, much too long! Have you been well? You must drop by my class—I will not allow you to stay in Zoro's presence for longer than is necessary! He might steal your heart from me, neh?" Bon winked lasciviously, making Sanji and Zoro both wince.

"There's no danger of that, Bon," Sanji gasped, finally managing to wriggle out of his embrace.

"Yeah," Zoro agreed. "Go for it. Don't let me stop you." Sanji shot a horrified look at him, but it was too late.

"Ah, _c'est tres bien!_ Come, Sanji, I will teach you everything I know of my _special_ Savate—a blend of ballet, Savate, and karate to create the veritable Okama Kenpo!" Bon dragged Sanji out the door with a airy laugh. Sanji sent Zoro a glare that made even Zoro almost feel bad.

Almost.

Zoro turned to the class again. "Offensive position number eight—Singing Phoenix. I want you to practice this until your arms fall off. The first one to falter or whose arms go a single inch out of the right path will suffer the punishment game. Furthermore," Zoro turned to Jango. "For calling that idiot 'pretty,' you will stay after class and do pushups. With _me_ sitting on your back. And, in case you think lightly of this punishment…" Zoro pulled open the cloth of his shirt, revealing a bulky cloth strapped to his back. "…I'm wearing my training weights today."

---

After class was over (and Jango was punished) Zoro swung by Bon's class, hearing strains of classical music being blasted in the room. Zoro walked in and found a room very different from the dojo he had left. The walls were lined with mirrors and rails at waist level. The floor was made of smooth wooden panels rather than the mats in the dojo, and speakers were installed in all the corners. There were several hairy-legged men in knee-length tights and equally tight shirts stretching on the rails, and Zoro quickly looked away to avoid an eyeful of camel-toes*. Zoro snorted in laughter when he saw a familiar flash of golden hair on the far left, where Bon was giving his newest student special attention.

"Ah, Sanji, you are _far_ more flexible than I had anticipated," Bon crooned, running his fingers lightly down Sanji's leg. Sanji shuddered and rolled to the side, stretching in the opposite direction. Sanji had (most likely been forced to) changed into a similar ensemble as the other men, although his legs were long and slim rather than short and meaty. Zoro couldn't believe that anyone could possibly have such well-sculpted legs that were so well-defined even through the tights. Sanji looked up, feeling Zoro's eyes on him, and scowled again before switching his stretching legs. His movements were fluid and practiced, indicating that he was not unfamiliar with the routine.

"So, how's your newest lamb in the flock?" Zoro asked Bon, grinning as Sanji gave him another furious look.

Bon positively beamed. "Ah, wonderful! His legs are as graceful as a swan's neck, and as strong as a horse! He only needs to learn the technique, and he shall be perfect! Sanji, perhaps you could grace us with a demonstration? You are a natural, I must say—you picked up the forms as though you already knew them!"

Sanji grumbled as he rose easily without the use of his hands, his muscles flexing as his feet slid up to meet in the middle. "My father taught me how to fight, although his Savate style was a bit rougher than the kind I'm learning here. Do you want me to go through the whole sequence?" When Bon nodded enthusiastically, Sanji strode to the middle of the room and tapped his foot patiently. The other men moved out of the way, and Bon moved to the stereo to put on a faster piece.

The room was silent, save for Sanji's tapping.

Zoro waited patiently, watching with interest.

The first notes to come out were the woodwinds—flutes and clarinets, trilling lightly. Sanji's leg swung up quickly, and as he moved, his feet touched the floor like feathers in the wind. His hands were lax at his sides, only moving slightly to give himself balance in the more extreme steps. It was a blend of the airiness of ballet with the lively steps of the Irish river dance, with a more lethal element. Zoro felt like he was watching a sword dance—graceful, but possibly deadly.

When the first wave of brass hit the air, Sanji broke loose.

"This is where he begins to improvise," Bon whispered. "But, Savate does depend on flexibility in various situations, so I have allowed him to add his own moves."

Sanji's legs kicked out violently, creating a blur with his limbs that was like a whirlwind. Suddenly, he flipped and did a handstand, his legs pin wheeling and his body twisting. His muscles were working effortlessly while carrying his light body from step to step. A peal of trumpets was accompanied by high-energy kicks that would leave an opponent missing more than a few teeth; a blast of the trombones was in synch with a series of roundhouse kicks. As the percussion crashed and the music stopped, Sanji's arms flexed as he pushed himself into the air and landed gently on his feet.

"Ah, bravo!" Bon cried, clapping.

The other students broke out into applause and Zoro found himself joining in. Sanji bowed before returning to Bon and Zoro as the rest of the class resumed their activities.

"So, impressed?" Sanji quipped at Zoro. He grinned in satisfaction as he brushed his hair from his face; Zoro couldn't help but notice that Sanji hadn't even broken a sweat.

Zoro found himself nodding dumbly, before stopping himself and shaking his head vigorously.

Sanji laughed.

---

"So, you're starting to enjoy learning from Bon, eh?" Zoro teased Sanji as the two of them buckled up in Sanji's Beetle. Sanji snorted with a grimace.

"I'm only cooperating because I saw the prices for a single class," he said. "Even if I took another job outside of the Paris Baguette or Rain Dinners, I couldn't afford to keep doing it regularly. Bon said that as long as I was dedicated to my lessons, then I could continue going for free."

"So it's like you're paying for your lessons with your body," Zoro stated flatly. "Is he your sugar daddy?"

"Don't put it that way!"

Zoro laughed—he found himself laughing quite a lot more than usual—and turned on the radio. Immediately, the car was flooded with the blaring sound of alternative rock music. Zoro winced and fiddled with the tuner until he found a station playing techno music, much to Sanji's displeasure.

"What is this shit that you're making me listen to?" Sanji grumbled. "Don't you know never to touch a man's radio?"

"Good thing I didn't touch a _man's_ radio."

"Get out! Get out of my car!"

---

(*A/N: When I think of the other students, I imagine men like the ones in olafpriol's deviantart gallery—she has a piece where these guys are like 'THIS IS SWAN LAKE!' Hilarious stuff.)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Ah, thanks for the reviews! They're very helpful (and sometimes slightly disturbing, in an entertaining way!)

---

"So, I see that you and Sanji have gotten quite close," Robin observed as she sat on the bench in the Baroque Works dojo, watching Zoro train. His classes were done for the day, and now he was concentrating on his personal workout regime.

Zoro grunted in affirmation as he swung his weights in a slashing motion. He had learned to tighten his control considerably during his years of training in the dojo. After having trained in the open outdoors for most of his earlier swordsmanship education, he had had trouble gauging the range of his swings in the dojo's walls, and had even torn a chunk out of the roof or floor every once in a while.

"Yeah. I can't believe we've only really known each other for about a week," Zoro said, his chest heaving as he handled the weights with extraordinary precision. Had he been holding a sword, the blade could not have moved with more deadly accuracy.

Robin smiled pleasantly. "It's nice to see you with a friend, Zoro."

He paused, his arms steady as he held them parallel to the ground. "What do you mean? I have other friends, you know." He sounded slightly offended. "You, Luffy, Franky, Chopper—"

"But we can only give you a friendship of a certain type, little one," she said, crossing her legs demurely.

"Hrmph. Don't call me little one," Zoro protested. "What do you mean, anyway?"

Robin hummed as she thought over it. "Each of us has something to offer the other, you know. Sanji seems to be filling in a gap that the rest of us cannot fill. Do you understand?"

Zoro shook his head as he returned to his training. "Sort of. I don't see why it really matters, though. Things just happened to turn out this way."

"You seem to have forgotten how long it took for you to accept us into your confidence," Robin murmured. He didn't hear her over the clanging of the metal weights.

---

_Knock-knock-knock._

"Coming," Zoro yelled from his bedroom. "Luffy, you're early," he said when he found the grinning boy looking at him cheerfully from the doorway. "What's with the getup?"

Luffy looked down at his clothes and shrugged. He wore black slacks with a deep crimson shirt and leather shoes. Luffy was actually wearing _shoes_, and not flip flops. His hair was styled into neat spikes with mousse, and Zoro caught a whiff of cologne as Luffy walked into his apartment.

"Vivi told me that I should dress nicely, so I had Ace pick out something for me," Luffy explained."He said that we're going to be doing 'something special' today at Cipher Pol."

"The only reason we'd have to dress up for Cipher Pol is—oh…" Zoro's voice trailed off.

"Yeah. 'That,'" Ace said as he walked through the doorway. His dark hair was slicked back to reveal his handsome face in all its splendor, and an all-black ensemble: a black button-down shirt with black pants and shoes that matched Luffy's (it seemed as though Ace had lent Luffy a pair of his own shoes, since Luffy probably didn't own any of his own). "I'm supposed to be helping you dress, too."

"I don't need help," Zoro protested. "I can dress myself perfectly fine."

Ace tapped his foot patiently on the floor. "Look, Zoro, even monkeys can be trained to dress themselves."

"Oi!"

"I'm here to make sure you look good. No arguing," Ace barked sternly as Zoro opened his mouth to protest. "You know that we have to look better than halfway decent if we're going 'there' tonight."

"Why aren't we following the normal schedule?" Zoro snapped. "Who decided that we'd be…you know?"

Ace sighed. "Apparently, Vivi's dad was able to obtain free access tonight. Even Kalifa couldn't get us in for free if she wanted to. Since this is the only time we can go without paying then we might as well take advantage of it, you know? Now, let's take a look at your wardrobe. I know that our lovely ladies have taken time to—holy shit," Ace gaped as he walked briskly into Zoro's room and threw open the closet door. "Zoro. Why have I never seen you wearing any of this?"

"Because it's uncomfortable?" Zoro said defensively as he scratched his chest.

"Idiot, if you wear it the proper way then it's not so bad," Ace said in exasperation. "Take your clothes off. Right now. I'm going to dress you, and you will like the way you look. Okay?"

"You have a scary look in your eyes, Ace," Luffy commented as he plopped down on his belly on Zoro's bed and watched.

"Ack! Luffy! Don't let your shirt get too wrinkled yet!" Ace cried. "Geez, it's as bad as having _two_ fashion-retarded brothers. Sit up. No, wait, just stand in the corner and face the wall. Good. Let's see…" Ace flipped through the clothes in the closet. "Luffy and I are wearing button-down shirts just to be safe, but I think you could pull off a nice tee with a blazer on top. Armani Exchange? Maybe I should raise your rent, if you can afford something like this. Here." Ace thrust several hangers into Zoro's arms. "Put this on."

Zoro grumbled as he complied.

---

_Ring-ring. Ring-ring. Ring-ring…_

Sanji ran around the café, searching for his cell phone. He grabbed his coat pocket and searching it, feeling the ringing device vibrate slightly under his hands. "Hello?" Sanji nearly dropped it, and leapt for the phone while just barely managing to pick it up before it switched to voicemail.

"Hello. Is this Sanji?" a feminine voice asked softly.

"This is he. Who might this be…?"

"This is Robin. I was wondering if you might be free tonight."

Sanji's eyes widened. Was this lovely woman truly asking him to escort her tonight? _But, Rain Dinners…_

"I'm truly sorry, but I cannot go out tonight," Sanji said regretfully. "I have to work at Rain Dinners."

A pause. "Ah. Rain Dinners, the buffet?"

"Yes, that is correct."

Another pause. "Oh, just a moment." Sanji could hear whispering, and wondered what was going on. It sounded like she was conferring with someone else. "Hello? Are you still there?"

"Of course, mademoiselle."

"This is unfortunate. However, if you do happen to find time tonight, then would you be so kind as to meet us at Cipher Pol tonight?"

"Ah, how could I refuse? But, _we_?"

Robin laughed airily. "Oh, yes." She didn't elaborate. "If you can make it, then meet us at seven o'clock in front of Cipher Pol. Do not feel the need to call beforehand." Another chuckle. "Have a nice day." The line went dead, and Sanji realized that it had come from a blocked number—he had no way to contact her again.

Sanji scratched his head in confusion. "What was that about?" His phone rang again. "Hello?"

"Sanji? This is Patty."

"_And Carne,"_ a voice added in the background.

"Oh. Hey, what's up? Do you need me to cover your shift tonight?" _Damn_, Sanji thought_, Now there's no way that I can meet Robin._

There was a slight coughing on the other end. "Actually, we're coming in early tonight, so you don't have to come if you don't want to."

Did Patty sound slightly nervous? It must have just been his imagination. Patty was not the kind of man who scared easily.

"Are you sure?" Sanji asked uncertainly. "I mean, it's not that big of a deal, and I could use the cash—"

"No, no, it's fine!" Carne squeaked (it sounded as though he had somehow muscled his way onto the phone, which was unlikely considering the difference in size between the two men). "Pell and Chaka said that you can take our shift another time, so don't worry!"

Sanji hesitated, but finally gave in. "Alright. Thanks, guys, tonight was the perfect night." As he hung up, he thought that he heard a sigh of relief.

---

Robin snapped her cell phone shut with a satisfied smile. Vivi sat beside her, clicking her own cell into the closed position after having made a few phone calls herself.

Both women wore devious smiles.

---

Zoro stretched as he stepped out of Robin's car. He looked at the sleek white Lexus GS F wistfully—the model was not slated to come out on the open market for another three years, but she had managed to obtain a prototype and had asked Franky to soup it up for her. He had complied gladly, although Zoro suspected that he had used government funding to do it. Robin stepped out of the driver's seat as she handed her keys to the valet with a single stern look that said _If you take it for a joy ride, I will sue your sorry ass._ Luffy and Ace pulled up behind in Ace's Audi (Luffy's Nissan was at the mechanic's shop after he had scraped the doors along the side of the freeway while racing).

"Is everyone else here already?" Zoro asked, looking around.

"Nah, Usopp and Franky couldn't make it," Luffy said. "They had to go to a sym…sem…"

"Symposium, Luffy," Ace supplied. "They're at the Symposium of Modern Technology. Apparently, Vegapunk is giving a lecture on the molecular potential of some new metal he invented. I didn't really catch what they were talking about, but apparently the man doesn't speak in public very often."

"Sounds fascinating," Zoro declared sarcastically. "What about Vivi or Chopper?"

"Hey, guys!" Chopper waved to them from the door, where he had been chatting with Vivi and Jyabura. "We're over here!"

Zoro walked over to them but paused when Robin held back. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She looked around and shook her head. "What time is it?"

"Ten 'til seven. Why?"

"Oh, just wondering. I'll meet you inside. I left my cell phone in my car," Robin said innocuously. Zoro shrugged; she could take care of herself, after all.

Inside, the crowd was as crowded as ever on a Thursday night. However, they didn't stop at their usual table on the second floor. Instead, they made their way to the closed doors that led to the third floor. It was situated directly adjacent to the bar where Lucci was mixing drinks, and he nodded at them as they waved.

"I see you guys," he said calmly as he splashed rum into a flask. "Is this everyone in your party?"

"Wait," Robin called, walking quickly to catch up to them. She turned around, waiting for her escort to catch up.

Sanji straightened his shirt out as he emerged from the crowd, self-consciously smoothing his hair as he moved to put an arm around Robin's. She maneuvered gracefully from his hold without making it look like she was avoiding him and pulled him by the arm.

"What's he doing here?" Zoro blurted out. Sanji glowered at him without recognition.

"Who are you to say whether I can come or not?" he snapped, but stopped. "Okay, there has got to be only one guy who's unfortunate enough to have green hair, but I know that he doesn't dress this well," Sanji said in disbelief. "Who the hell are you?"

Zoro automatically moved to run a hand through his short hair, but stopped when he remembered that Ace had spent a considerable amount of time manipulating it to make it look neater than a bed of moss. It was gelled into spikes that pointed backward, giving him a look that was trimmer than his usual 'just rolled out of bed' style. _The new 'do kind of makes him look a bit majestic,_ Sanji found himself thinking hazily. _It's like he's perpetually facing the headwind on a ship._ Zoro also wore a gray Armani Exchange blazer with a black, form-fitting shirt and dark designer jeans—Sanji couldn't tell which brands from his vantage point, but felt that it would vastly deflate his ego if he were to find Zoro wearing True Religion jeans.

"What are you looking at, cook?" Zoro growled, his hand falling into a fist at his side.

"Zoro, don't fight tonight," Vivi implored him with wide eyes. "Not tonight."

To Sanji's surprise, Zoro sighed and nodded. "Alright. Are we all ready to go? Lucci, this is everyone." The other man nodded silently and walked over, pulling a key from his pocket. Lucci unlocked the nondescript door with the words _VIP_ in small, brass letters across it and let them in, locking the door behind them. A tall man with what appeared to be thick eyeliner and heavy white powder on his face took Lucci's place at the bar. The staircase was wide and well-lit, and lead up to the third floor where a far smaller crowd was socializing. The music up here was muted by distance from the dance floor, and Lucci took his place at the bar, replacing a rather rotund young man with braces.

"Chapapa. Is this the last group who's supposed to be here tonight, Lucci?" the man with the braces asked.

Lucci nodded. "Go downstairs and help Kumadori, Fukurou. He'll probably need it."

"What is this place?" Sanji asked in slight awe. The furniture here was in very good condition, indicating that few were privileged enough to grace the expensive black leather seats. The clientele was very well-dressed, but not to the point of ostentatious flaunting. Sanji felt rather awkward and out of place in this joint.

"This is the VIP lounge of Cipher Pol," Vivi explained. "The owner of the club, Spandam, has recently invested in our bank, and has allowed us to come here tonight as a show of good faith. It's very hard to get in, though—few people even know about it."

"Why's it so hard to get in?" Sanji asked.

Ace led the way to an empty table and sat down casually, his legs crossed as though he owned the place. The others followed suit, although Zoro and Sanji both looked uncomfortable with the fact that Luffy's feet were resting on the table made of solid endangered Adam wood. "You see," Ace said, "It's not just a question of wealth. Well, I mean, you'd have to have real money to get in, with plenty stock investments in the same interests as Spandam. It's also a social thing, though. If you're anything but the golden crowd of Navarone, you might as well not even try."

Sanji laughed, trying to mask his nervousness—was that a bottle of _1800 Coleccion tequila_ that he saw Lucci pouring?—as he asked, "What, so is this a once in a lifetime chance for you guys too?"

They looked oddly at him.

"Ace and I've been here a few times," Luffy said.

"I come here about once a month to get access to certain wines that are hard to find elsewhere. Vivi often accompanies me," Robin added. "Coincidentally, Lucci? Could you get us the Rokushiki Set? Thank you. Lucci is the only one in Navarone who can mix it perfectly, or who can even get his hands on the liquor that it requires."

Sanji decided that he didn't want to know what was in this Rokushiki Set.

"Zoro's been here too," Ace said indifferently. "Of course, he prefers the Shigan Special downstairs because he never has to pay for it, but there are some drinks here that even he can't polish off too fast because they're so potent." Sanji looked at the fidgeting Zoro in surprise.

"So you're…all part of this 'golden crowd?'" Sanji asked. They nodded, as though it was the most natural thing in the world, save for Zoro. "How do you even get into this crowd?"

Luffy laughed good-naturedly. "C'mon, Sanji, anyone in Water Sector knows that you have to at least be an Alpha or Beta to reach this kind of status." When Sanji only stared blankly, Luffy stared right back. "You know what that is, right?"

"Wow, Luffy knows something that someone else doesn't," Ace muttered to Zoro under his breath. However, Zoro didn't laugh.

"Let's talk about something else, you guys," Zoro said gruffly. However, they were interrupted when a man wearing a wide-brimmed black hat capped with a red plume walked up to them.

"So, what do we have here?" the man sneered, his whisker-like moustache swaying as he spoke. "It looks like a little mutt snuck in with the thoroughbreds."

"What do you want, Nero?" Zoro asked, his voice just barely teetering between civility and violence. "You know that we can be here."

Nero held his hands up in a mocking gesture of peace. "Ah, of course! I would not question even _your_ presence after having served you for all these years. However, I don't believe I've ever met this man," he said, pointing at Sanji. "He's not in the Letters, either."

"Now, just a minute," Ace said angrily, but was stopped when Zoro put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nero." Zoro's voice was steady, but his eyes glimmered dangerously. "Do you think Lucci would let just anyone pass through those doors?" Nero faltered, and stepped back. They locked eyes in a standoff, but Nero was the one who folded.

"O-of course I know he wouldn't," Nero stammered. "I'm just here to, ah, you know, make sure things are all right. Your Rokushiki Set is being made as he speak." He scurried off quickly to check on another table.

"What the hell is going on?" Sanji asked in bewilderment. "What the hell are the Letters, or this Alpha and Beta shit you were going on about?"

Zoro sighed as he rubbed his face wearily. "You guys," he said, addressing the rest of the group, "He lives in Fire Sector." Mouths fell all around. "But on the border between Water and Fire."

"Oh, really?" Robin asked. Her voice was amused as ever, but slightly taken aback.

"That's quite surprising," Ace added. "You seemed to have the composure of a long-time Water Sector inhabitant." Sanji squirmed under their gazes, feeling like he was missing something. Sure, maybe he lived in Fire Sector, but did that really matter to these people? They didn't seem to be the type who would care about that.

Surprisingly, it was Luffy who came to his aid. "So what?" Luffy demanded. "He's still a good guy! I'd let him stay at Galley-La." At these words, everyone visibly relaxed.

"Well then, that settles it," Ace said cheerfully. "Sorry about this, dude, but we just have to be careful. Luffy's instincts are never wrong, though."

Sanji shook his head hard. "What the hell is going on? Would someone please explain this to me?"

Lucci came over with two trays, setting them down before bowing slightly and returning to the bar. Every glass and cup held different liquids, from fruity cocktails to raw, undiluted hard alcohol. Zoro grabbed one of the cups at random and drained it quickly before turning to Sanji with an apologetic look on his face.

"Look, there are things that you have to know about the way we live," he said quietly. "You wanted to know about the Letters?" Sanji nodded. "Alright, but I'm going to ask now that you don't interrupt until we finish explaining. The Letters are basically ranks in every field and profession you could imagine, from painting to engineering to martial arts. They take the best of the best and grade them."

"Like…cow beef?" Sanji asked, blindly reaching for a glass and downing it quickly. He was gratified by a light-headed buzz. "You're all just put onto lists in order of how much people want you or how much you're worth? Perhaps chicken eggs would be a better analogy than cow beef. Or maple syrup. I hear Grade A maple syrup is absolutely divine." He grabbed another glass, giggling despite himself.

"Sanji, maybe you shouldn't drink so much so fast," Vivi suggested anxiously. "We're not really like that."

"No, he's right," Ace said gruffly. "The Letters are just that."

"So, what are you guys?" Sanji hiccupped.

"I'm an Alpha-level historian," Robin said quietly. "One of the last people in the world able to read the Poneglyphs. Franky is also an Alpha-level engineer—he rose from Beta after his mentor Tom Don passed away."

"The Arabasta Mutual Banks are collectively known as Alpha-level as well," Vivi said. "By virtue of that, my father and I are also included."

"Chopper's a Beta-level doctor, after the infamous 'Doctorine' in Drum City," Luffy said. "Galley-La is Alpha-level for university housing."

"Okay, this is just getting ridiculous," Sanji grumbled. "Isn't that getting into really minute specifics?"

Ace shrugged. "Hey, we're not complaining. The benefits are great."

"What about you, Zoro?" Sanji demanded. "Don't tell me you're the Alpha-level swordsman?"

Zoro shook his head, and Sanji felt a little guilty. "I'm Beta-level," Zoro corrected him. "My boss is the Alpha."

"Who decides all of this? And how can you tell?" Sanji queried. "I still can't quite believe I've never heard of this before."

"Believe me, people keep track of this," Zoro said irritably. "As for who? Well, okay, this is going to sound stupid, but…"

"But?"

"The answers fall from the sky," Lucci supplied, coming to refill the drinks that were quickly being drained. "I have held the slot for the Alpha bartender for several years now."

"The sky. The answers fall from the sky. I know I'm getting drunk, but I'm not THAT stupidly wasted yet," Sanji groaned. "Seriously. Stop kidding."

"I never kid," Lucci said dispassionately, and Sanji believed it. "Once a year, several unmarked planes leave from undisclosed locations and drop flyers with the numbers over the major cities in the world. One might think that this would be easy to replicate, but only the frauds are ever caught." He turned around and left without another word.

"Weird guy," Sanji commented. "So, basically, you take this like the word of God falling from the heavens and follow it religiously." He stopped, thinking. "Wait. Did he just say that they drop these all over the world? So these are inter-freaking-national rankings we're talking about?"

"Oh, Sanji. City-wide rankings are useless," Ace said dismissively.

"Yeah. Who wants to be called the best swordsman in Navarone when the greatest swordsman in the world pays your wages?" Zoro added. "But it's just part of the stupid social hierarchy."

Robin nodded. "We would normally say that we need no recognition for our skills—except for Zoro perhaps." He gave her a sharp look, but she continued. "But I know that personally, if this system was not in existence, then I would not be able to pursue the history I love without having to worry about things like the rent or the bills."

"The thing is, even though the Arabasta Banks are well-off as it is, a business needs connections to stay afloat. This is where the VIP lounge comes in. On any given day, there will always be someone here with high influence. Unfortunately for some people…" Vivi sighed. "This means that anyone who can reach Alpha or Beta level will most likely stay ensconced there, leaving little room for promising talent to rise. You can never really tell, though."

Ace laughed. "Yeah, who would have guessed that _Zoro_ of all people would make it this far?"

"Shut up, Ace," Zoro said, without a trace of humor. Ace caught the hint and moved away from that topic of conversation.

"So, um, have you lived in Fire Sector your entire life?" Chopper asked uncertainly.

Sanji shook his head. _Should I tell them…?_

"Air Sector, then?" Luffy asked curiously. Sanji shook his head again, more slowly. "Or did you move from another city?"

"Earth Sector." Ace's utterance was not a question. It was a flat statement. "You come from Earth Sector."

"Lucci! Get me another one of…whatever's in this," Zoro called hastily. He held up a heavy tankard filled with golden liquid. "So," he continued loudly, "Who else is here tonight?"

"Zoro. Be quiet." Ace was dead serious. "Sanji. Do you come from Earth Sector?"

Sanji grimaced, and nodded. "Yeah. I was born, raised, and taught there."

"Ace! Luffy just said that it doesn't matter! Why do you keep pressing it?" Zoro snarled. Around them, people were beginning to stare. Ace stood and sat right in front of Zoro with a pained look on his face.

"You of all people should _know_ how hard it is to make it in this damned city," Ace said, his voice tense. "The stupid parties and exclusiveness, the social ranks and how it fucking affects everything!" Sanji started—he didn't think Ace could get so riled up. "We all have had to deal with it! Do you think I want to send him out into that kind of a cage fight when he has no weapons, when he's ignorant of how—"

"Oh, Ace, you've had far too much to drink tonight," Robin said, her voice imperious and soothing at the same time. The people who had been staring laughed to themselves and went back to their conversations. "Silly boy," she whispered in a hushed voice, "Do not speak of this here, of all places. This is a place to build connections, not to sever them. If you speak too freely, the others will know."

Ace took a shaky breath and nodded before pulling one of his charming smiles again.

"Is that the lovely Miss Kaya that I see?" he said cheerfully, rising and greeting a thin blonde woman dressed in a modestly long skirt and blouse who was chatting with a wilder-looking woman with multiple piercings and horribly disgusting eating manners. "Ah, and the…delightful Miss Bonney has come, as well."

Zoro heaved a sigh of relief. "Look, let's just do what we came here to do and we'll talk about it later, okay?" he told Sanji. "But for now, let's just…socialize." He shuddered before looking around. "Looks like there are quite a few people here tonight," he noted, looking around at the people who were disseminated around the area. "Oh, there's Foxy."

"The fatass with the yellow suspenders? What the hell is up with his clothes?" Sanji asked as the rest of the group dispersed to talk to people who were, to Sanji, strangers.

"Yeah. He's the head executive of the Davy Back Fights."

"You mean the mixed martial arts competition?" Sanji asked in amazement. "But he doesn't look like he'd know jack squat about something like that."

"Apparently he was the champion of some big title years ago," Zoro said. "But he's the guy I'm looking for. Hey, Foxy, why don't you come share a drink with us?" Zoro lifted his tankard as a way of greeting.

"For the last time, Roronoa, I will _not_ let someone who uses weapons like you do into my competition," Foxy greeted him, although he picked up a drink and sat down beside them. "Who's your friend?"

"I'm Sanji Baratie," Sanji said. "Nice to meet you."

Foxy looked decidedly unimpressed. "Yeah, whatever. So, Roronoa, now that that's settled, what's up with you?" He took a gulp from his cup and looked a bit more amiable. "Now, this is what I call liquor. You really splurged on a Rokushiki Set, huh?"

"Yep. Good stuff. Oh, I'm not here to bug you about your precious Davy Back Fights," Zoro drawled. "I'm here to ask about a certain competition that may or may not be the deciding factor in this year's Letters, if you know what I mean."

Foxy's eyes were sharp as he looked at Zoro from over the rim of his cup. "I can't really say that I'm following you, Roronoa."

"Let's just say that Mihawk isn't going to keep his seat for long," Zoro said as he tossed back the last of his drink with a satisfied sigh. "Must I elaborate? Only one man is powerful and influential enough to organize an event like this, and I happen to be talking to him right now. Isn't that right…Oyabin?"

Foxy froze before leaning back carefully, with one hand resting on his ample belly and the other gripping his cup tightly. "How did you hear about that?" he hissed, eyes darting around.

Zoro shrugged. "Oh, a little birdy told me. So, am I in?"

Foxy grumbled darkly. "What reason would I have to let you in?"

"C'mon. You know that I'm the only one good enough—"

"Don't be so sure of that, Roronoa."

Zoro stopped. "Are you implying that there's someone out there who can beat _me?_ Only one man has been strong enough to do that so far, and he's the Alpha." Zoro snorted. "You're not talking about Gamma or Delta, are you? Or Epsilon?" Zoro began to laugh heartily. "Don't joke around! If it's an issue of money, that's no problem, and you know that. Don't you think it'd be great if you had me in that competition? I bet Mihawk's entering, too. He is, isn't he?"

Foxy picked up another cup to replace his now-empty one. "Pah, that's not the problem. I just have a general rule of not letting any of my contestants die unnecessarily. You are not known for your control in battle, and I don't want you beheading any of the fighters."

"If they're weak enough to get killed, then they shouldn't fight in the first place," Zoro muttered under his breath. "You _know_ I've gotten a lot stronger—and more precise. How about this. If you let me in, you'll get not only another swordsman as well as another Savate competitor. You've been looking for one to fill Bon's place since he retired from the fighting scene for pure teaching, right?"

"Savate?" Foxy sucked in his breath and looked very interested. "Perhaps I am. They're a dying breed. Most of the new 'talent' is nothing more than crap. What do you have in mind?"

Zoro slung an arm around Sanji's shoulder and pinched his cheeks with a grin. "This guy. He's faster than anyone I've seen so far." Sanji's eyes widened at this sudden (involuntary) offering of his body for something like this, and his cheeks reddened at the unexpected compliment.

Foxy was skeptical. "This guy? Looks like slim pickings to me."

"Trust me," Zoro said with a wink. "Even Bon was impressed."

Sanji watched the two of them speaking as one would watch two merchants bartering on an open market. The fish in season, apparently, was Sanji.

"Then it's settled then?" Zoro said triumphantly. "We're in?"

Foxy nodded. "Yeah. I'll have one of my men contact you beforehand. Now, if you'll excuse me…" He rose unsteadily, waddling towards the bathroom.

Sanji blinked. "What the hell just happened?" He had been too lost in his thoughts to really pay attention to the proceedings.

Zoro emptied his glass triumphantly. "We just were granted admission into the Silver Fox Tournament. It's like cage fighting on steroids."

"What do you mean, _we?_ Since when did this become a two person deal?" Sanji demanded.

"Since now. Weren't you listening? Rumors are that Alphas and Betas from all fields are participating. If you beat 'em, then you're almost guaranteed admission into the Letters the following year," Zoro said cheerfully. "Then no one can complain about your birth or status, can they?"

"Easy for you to say," Sanji grumbled. "You're already up there." Everyone else drifted back to the group in ones and twos, and Zoro shrugged.

"How do you think a guy like me got here in the first place?" Zoro asked offhandedly. "Or any of us, for that matter?" When Sanji opened his mouth, Zoro stopped him. "We'll discuss this…later. Where are we going from here?"

"I believe that the majority of us live at Galley-La, so perhaps we should meet there," Robin suggested. "Ace, Luffy, your apartment is quite large, is it not?"

They paid Lucci and left a generous tip for him. As they filed out, Sanji realized that he did recognize a few people in the VIP lounge—there was Arlong, head chef of the prominent Fishman Sushi chain; Donquixote Doflamingo, the lead designer of the Smiley fashion label; Perona, the famous model and icon for the Gothic Lolicon modeling agencies. He breathed a sigh of relief as they left Cipher Pol and he climbed into the driver's seat of his car.

"You're trembling." Zoro took a seat on the passenger side.

Sanji gripped the wheel tightly, willing his jitters to go away. "I'm not. I just need a cig. Why are you in my car?"

"Robin kicked me out of her car. You alright?"

Sanji turned the key in the ignition and waited for the car to warm up, his thoughts racing as his mind was finally up to speed. "Me? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It's not like I just found out that the friends I just met are really famous and wealthy and out of my fucking league. Oh, _wait…"_

"Don't think of it like that," Zoro said sharply. "It's not like we're different people. It's just your perception that has changed."

"Oh, yeah, Mister I'm-Wearing-Clothes-That-Cost-More-Than-Your-Monthly-Rent."

"Who cares about my fucking clothes, you materialistic idiot?"

"Oh, so I'm the materialistic idiot, am I?"

"You're the one who's freaking out just because of the clothes that I wear and the lifestyle that we live."

"How do you expect me to hang out with you guys when I can't even pick up the check once in a while, or when I'm denied access to where you hang out because I'm not good enough to even get past the doors? Did you see how Nero looked at me?" Sanji snarled, swerving sharply around a corner. "Here. Galley-La. Get out."

"Why are you being so self-conscious about this? It's stupid!" Zoro yelled right back at him, refusing to budge. "I'm not going back inside until I know that you're getting your skinny ass out of this car and into the building with me. Okay?"

"Screw you."

"All right. That's it." Zoro pushed Sanji's hands out of the way, put the engine into the parking position and pulled the key out of the ignition. "Come in. Now." He then left the car and began to walk briskly towards the gate.

"Hey! Wait! This is a 'no parking' zone, you moron!" Sanji shouted out the window. "Augh! You're paying for my ticket!" Sanji slammed the car door. "Lock it." The Beetle beeped. "Okay. Fine. We're going up to your apartment."

They went up the stairs after silently agreeing that a slow and inactive elevator ride would only serve to aggravate them more. Unfortunately, Ace and Luffy lived on the top floor, which meant that both of them, despite their athleticism, were slightly winded by the time they stopped, which only served to make them even more annoyed. They found everyone already waiting in the large apartment, including Franky and Usopp.

Sanji hesitated on the doorstep, unable to force himself to walk in. He could only take in the scent of Robin's Dior perfume—Franky's Prada sunglasses—Zoro's Armani shirt—

"Sanji, you're hyperventilating," Vivi said worriedly.

_Chanel. She's wearing Chanel._

Chopper pulled Sanji through the door and helped him to take a seat after gently reminding him to remove his shoes. Sanji sat, feeling quite overwhelmed. He felt old reflexive instincts kicking in as he took in the brand names and values of their possessions; he wouldn't be surprised if he found himself evaluating how much he could get from them…

"Sanji, why don't you tell us why this seems to be affecting you so much? You live in Fire Sector. Even if you came from Earth Sector, that's no reason for us to be so alien to you now," Ace asked, pressing a glass of water into his hand. He appeared to be quite sorry about the scene he had made at the club.

Sanji drank greedily, the water spilling down his chin to dribble down his throat as he quenched his suddenly dry mouth. "I…"

"Let him gather his senses for a moment, Ace," Robin chided him. "I'm sure there's a perfectly valid reason."

They left Sanji alone for a few minutes, chatting about things as trivial and safe as the weather and the news—something that they could all relate to. As Sanji began to calm down, Zoro sat next to him on the loveseat and began to speak to him in a low, soothing voice.

"So, how's the café doing?"

"…Business is doing well. If it keeps up, I'll be able to reduce the number of shifts I'm taking at Rain Dinners."

"That's good. I made omelet today," Zoro said proudly. Sanji couldn't help but smile.

"Have you ever read _His Dark Materials_? It's a series of books starting with _The Golden Compass_," Sanji asked. When Zoro shook his head in confusion, Sanji went on. "There's a scene where the main character makes omelet for this girl, and she said the exact same thing after he taught her. Of course, her omelet turned out to be a disaster, but I expect the similarity doesn't end there." Zoro chuckled, letting that comment slide (for now).

"How are you feeling, Sanji?" Robin asked as everyone turned back to sit around him. Sanji swallowed thickly.

"I'm feeling better. More rational." He patted his pockets automatically for a cigarette, but stopped himself. "So, what are we going to talk about?"

"Well, we just wanted to know why you're so uncomfortable with the knowledge of our standing in the Letters and all," Chopper said. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

Sanji took another sip of his water before beginning. "Well, as you already know, I was born in Earth Sector. I was raised in the slums, and it wasn't until I was around nine years old that some shitty geezer found me picking through the dumpster behind his restaurant and took me in…but before that, we stole, scrounged, and basically just lived like little alley cats to get by…"

_Sanji ran through the streets, hooting with the other children who called the ghettos of Navarone home. Today there was a charity event going on at the church, and they had heard that many wealthy citizens from Water Sector were going to be present._

_That meant a lot of people—so many and mostly so impoverished that a ragtag group of kids wouldn't be noticed running around._

_They stopped, sneaking under a table covered by a clean, white tablecloth. Sanji scowled as he felt the smooth material run across his face—even their linen was of far better quality than he could ever hope to touch on a normal basis._

"_Ready, Sanji?" A little girl with bright red hair and round, innocent eyes asked. Her smile was far too manipulative for a child; her hands twitched as she saw a woman walking by with a large gemstone on a ring made of precious metals—Tiffany and Co. brand. That trinket alone could feed them for weeks._

"_Of course, Nami," Sanji replied. The red-nosed boy squatting beside them cackled gleefully. "Hush, Buggy!"_

"_But those people are walking around so carelessly—that woman's purse alone is worth, oh gee…it's a Gucci," Buggy muttered, peeking out from under the table. They had all learned to recognize the most expensive brands out there and to differentiate between bootleg and the real thing, for those would fetch the best prices even when working with the crooked black market dealers._

"_Just stick to the program," Sanji hissed. "Let's go." He grabbed Buggy by the collar and rolled out from under the table, immediately beginning to punch the other boy. Buggy gave as good as he got; this part was real, and the injuries would leave bruises that might attract a few sympathetic people who would be willing to donate a few coins to the beaten children. All around, women were screeching and men were yelling as they tried to pry the two savage children apart. They didn't see the nimble girl dart out from the other side of the table and begin to relieve the guests of their expensive burdens._

_Later, Sanji and Buggy told spectators that the fight was over who would get to sleep in the warm corner of the run-down and abandoned apartment complex they called home. With Buggy's naturally bulbous nose—which he claimed was from a particularly vicious punch—and Sanji's angelic looks, they received much kindness in the form of meat pies, small change, and other goodies._

_They met Nami back home and found the girl deep in conversation with Cabaji and Mohji, discussing how long their new loot would last them. She sat on a pile of bulging bags that she had concealed under her threadbare skirts, and Sanji grinned in delight when he saw theTiffany and Co. ring that he had seen that woman wearing roll out from the bag to rest at his feet._

_They called themselves the Buggy Pirates. They weren't a real gang or anything, of course. They were far too young for that. However, they had learned that anyone who wanted to live past their teenage years in this part of the city had to be ready for gang life, and that it was better to make a name under an organized group than individually. It wasn't a question of if but rather when they would enter a gang._

_They could live like this. Those damned rich bastards had enough money that they didn't even miss the booty that this little group collected in a single day. They didn't need sympathy, or a beggar's pittance—what they couldn't find, they stole, and what they couldn't steal, they learned to live without or die._

_That was the Earth Sector way, after all._

…

_When he and Nami had gotten separated from Buggy and his crew during a particularly poorly-coordinated heist at the strip mall, he had been forced to abandon his old home when the police began to come around more often. He shuddered as he saw the cop cars drive by, with the wire mesh in the windows, like cages for mutts being taken to the pound. Nami shivered beside him, cold in the fall chill. He shook his head regretfully as he separated banana peels from vegetables and consumable scraps in the dumpster._

"_What the hell are you little brats doing out here?" a gruff voice growled from the doorway to the restaurant. Sanji froze, pushing Nami behind him protectively._

"_They're just scraps! It's not stealing if you threw it away, is it?" Sanji cried shrilly, cramming the crusts he had found into his pockets. The old man frowned suddenly when he saw the food that Sanji gripped in his hands, but looked even more troubled when he looked at Sanji. Was that a flicker of recognition flashing across the old man's face?_

"_This is no good, no good at all…" he grumbled. "I keep telling those idiots not to waste that." Sanji blinked—what was this geezer talking about? "C'mon. I'll give you a real meal." Sanji glared at him suspiciously, until Nami sneezed and the old man said, "I have hot soup. Your friend looks like she could use some nourishment, if she doesn't want to succumb to pneumonia." Sanji grudgingly followed the old man in._

_It turns out that the guy's name was Zeff. He owned a soup kitchen in the middle of Earth Sector that went by his family name—the Baratie. Zeff barely managed to keep the place open, but always insisted on feeding anyone hungry enough to come to his doors. The food was dirt cheap or free, but the people who visited often found ways to scrape together enough change to pay Zeff and to keep the place running. He learned a lot from Zeff—cooking and fighting, as well as life lessons—but always felt that he knew the old man from somewhere. Whenever he'd ask, Zeff would only rub his head and tell him not to worry his little eggplant brain over it. The same would happen when he'd ask about the man's wooden leg._

_This crowded and noisy kitchen was their new home. Later, he heard that Buggy had become involved in gang life, and he doubted he'd ever see his friend again…_

There was silence as Sanji finished his story. Suddenly, a loud wail broke the stillness.

"Uwaaaah!" Franky keened, tears streaming down his face. "T-t-t-that's s-so m-moving!"

Sanji stared. "What the hell?"

"It's no wonder that you would hold such a strong reaction to us," Ace whistled softly. "You really lived like that? Dude…that's a harsh life…and we thought that we had it tough…"

Sanji snorted. "Yeah, real tough, growing up in Water Sector."

"Actually," Luffy interrupted, "We didn't."

Sanji did a double take. "What are you talking about? Isn't this what we've been talking about the whole night?"

Luffy shook his head. "Ace and I were brought up in Fire Sector. It's only because of Gramps that we live here right now."

"Personally, I want to move up and find something more exciting to do. There are only so many University girls you can screw before you start to want something a bit more sophisticated," Ace said with a wink. Sanji scowled. _Lucky bastard._

"I'm from Air Sector," Usopp said simply. "I had to take care of my ma after my da left."

"Me, too," Franky said. Sanji decided that that was to be expected—both men came from the part of the city known for its mechanical resources.

"I'm from Drum City. The city is a bit different from here," Chopper said shyly. "I didn't learn about the Sectors until I moved here to study at the University."

"Er, I was born and raised in Water Sector, actually," Vivi said in embarrassment. The others quickly moved to reassure her that 'being born in Water Sector is by no means embarrassing.'

When Sanji looked expectantly at Robin and Zoro, they shrugged. "Don't worry about it," they said simultaneously. The impulse to press further was quelled when they both stared at him with eyes that said, _It's for your own damned good._

Fair enough.

"I think that this has been enough for tonight," Ace said with a yawn. "I'm dead tired. You feeling alright, Sanji?"

"Yeah. I was just being stupid—there was no reason for me to flip out like that," Sanji said with a discomfited smile. "Thanks for understanding, you guys."

"No problem. Now, get the hell out of here, everyone," Ace said with a laugh. "I've got work tomorrow."

"Dude, you live at work. You don't even have a boss to answer to," Usopp grumbled as he put on his coat.

"But there's this hot babe who just moved in that frequents the pool at six AM every morning. How could I resist?"

They left, laughing. Out in the hall, Sanji tugged lightly on Zoro's sleeve as everyone filed out.

"Can we talk?"

Zoro gave him a long look before nodding.

"Alright. Let's go to my place, then." As they left, Zoro couldn't help but wonder if he would survive a fall if he jumped out the window to avoid the inevitable conversation that was sure to follow.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I've been loving these reviews that have been coming lately. I previously had the Sector divisions in another original story, but I decided to scrap it because it was getting too hard for my OCs…so I'm using it now! Recycling, right? I'm sorry I haven't been responding to your reviews, but I've been working on four stories and it gets…hectic (yes, I know, only two are out right now .)

Enjoy! Here is…part of what you asked for. Zoro's history.

---

Zoro stared at the bathroom sink, his face dripping with cold water as a pair of dark, weary eyes gazed right back at him. He had escaped to the bathroom after he and Sanji had entered his apartment, and now wondered if Sanji would notice if he just stayed in the bathroom the whole night.

_If there is a God, let Him strike me down as I stand here,_ Zoro thought desperately, _so grant me mercy—anyone?_

There was no bolt of lightning that smote him down, and Zoro snorted. _And people wonder why I don't go to church…_

Yeah. Sanji would probably think he was having digestive problems or was doing even stranger things if he stayed here too long. Best not risk it.

"Want anything to eat?" Zoro called as he left the safety of the bathroom and ambled down the hall. Sanji was half-sitting, half-lying on the couch, his legs draped gracefully over one arm of the chair as he waited. He shook his head, and Zoro sat down after grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge.

"I can't believe you're still drinking," Sanji said in disbelief. "Do you piss alcohol or something?"

"Maybe. I've never tasted it to see," Zoro responded, drinking. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"You're not from Water Sector either, are you?" Sanji asked abruptly. He had to get the question out there quickly, or he'd lose his nerve. "I remember…you said before that when you went to Japan, you didn't even have enough money to get back home. Was that the turning point in your life? Was Mihawk your Zeff?"

"Hey, slow down," Zoro said. "First of all, you're correct. I wasn't born in this part of the city. Yes, Mihawk was the one who enabled me to live here, although it was mostly because he wants his employees to live close to Baroque Works. Secondly…well, I guess you could say that Mihawk is to me like Zeff was to you."

"Where were you born then?"

Zoro sipped on his beer, slowly draining the can. "Same as you. Born and raised in Earth Sector."

"I knew it!" Sanji crowed. "You're not like anyone from around here. You have…that _look."_

"Oh, and here I was thinking I was one of a kind because of my great charm," Zoro said sarcastically.

"Yeah, whatever. You've heard my basic life story. What's yours?"

"Woah there, cowboy, not so fast," Zoro said, holding up his hands. "Who said that it's any of your business?"

"I did. Spill, buddy."

"I don't know, it was a pretty traumatic experience," Zoro drawled with a lazy grin. "It'll make your story look like a tea party."

Sanji snorted in contempt. "Yeah, like you could really say that with an expression like that on your face. It's not like you were the perpetrator of any violent crimes, right?"

"…"

Sanji froze. "What?"

"I told you…it's not anything to be taken lightly." Zoro's voice was low and somber.

"Are you serious?" Sanji nearly yelled, backing up slightly as Zoro came closer to him with a wild look in his eyes. Those powerful hands reached forward, yearning to grasp a slender and pale neck—

"Just kidding," Zoro laughed heartily as he retreated. "Pansy."

Sanji breathed a huffy sigh of both annoyance and relief. "Pah. How about this?" Sanji stood and went to the fridge, bringing out more alcohol. Beer probably wouldn't loosen Zoro's tongue, but it might make him get in a better mood and be more inclined to talk. Zoro accepted the cans with a suspicious look, but didn't say a word.

"So, Earth Sector was pretty rough, huh?" Sanji began, thinking, _Start out slowly. Drinking beer together is supposed to be a good time for men to bond._ Or so his old man used to say.

Zoro nodded without saying a word, looking at Sanji with an expression that clearly said, _I'm not inebriated enough to tell you anything, but nice try._

"Listen," Zoro said. "Maybe you should go home. You've heard what you wanted to, didn't you? You know about us, so now go rest. You have to get up early tomorrow."

"It's not that late. I've told you about my life of crime. Why is it so hard for you to do the same?"

"Because it's not the same!" Zoro barked. "Yeah, you were a pickpocket. Your best friends either moved up with you or fell to even lower levels of despair and poverty. You lived every day, not knowing if the crumbs you licked off of wrappers you found in the trash would make you sick and vulnerable enough for the rats to eat. You've obviously suffered far worse than any of us can really comprehend, haven't you?"

"Are you mocking me?" Sanji nearly shouted, only barely remembering that he didn't know how well these walls blocked sound from traveling to other apartments. "Look, if you don't trust me then just say so, alright? I've apparently crossed some kind of line or offended you in some way." Sanji rose angrily. "Where are my keys?"

"It's not like that."

"I said, where are my keys?"

"Sit down."

"Give me my damned car keys or I swear…"

"How can you do this after a single freaking _week?"_ Zoro snarled suddenly, throwing Sanji off. He had been sitting so calmly, but now was an inferno of hellish rage. "You! We met one week—just one week—ago. But now you're acting like we're best friends or something. Oh, yeah, we're just so chummy that let's share our life stories, huh? Sounds just fucking delightful! Things don't work this way. You can't just trust anyone with anything." Zoro blinked in surprise when a foot connected with his jaw, sending him flying. "What the hell was that for, you…dude, what the hell are you doing?"

Sanji sat on Zoro's torso, hands rummaging in his pockets busily. "Looking for my keys so I can get out of here. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're trying to rape me or something."

Sanji snorted as he fished his prize from Zoro's pants. "Here we are. Goodbye, you asshole." Sanji made to rise, but found himself unable to move due to the powerful pair of legs that were currently wrapped around his waist. "You're telling me that it looked like _I_ was trying to rape _you?_ Let me go." He stood, his own legs being powerful enough even to lift Zoro. Step by step, Sanji made his way to the door with Zoro hanging from him like a strange koala.

Zoro suddenly released Sanji in a motion that sent him flying. "Just wait, would you? I'm not finished with you yet." He heaved a heavy sigh. "It's just not easy to talk about."

"Then don't talk about it."

"Don't be fickle. I…it's not that I don't want to tell you. It's just that I don't want to want to tell you. Do you understand?"

"Not at all."

Zoro slapped his forehead in frustration. "I don't have any reason not to tell you. It's not like I think you're the kind of guy who would go around blabbing about whatever you hear to whoever you meet. You're decent, for an asshole."

"Oh, thanks."

"But I'm just not used to being open to people that I've just met. You must understand."

Sanji nodded. He was starting to grasp the whole situation. "So this is just basically an automatic defensive mechanism to protect you from any unnecessary pain."

"Yeah, that's pretty much it."

Sanji suddenly began to laugh, causing Zoro to frown in annoyance.

"Are you making fun of me?" he demanded.

Sanji wiped his eyes, his mirth settling down. "No, not at all. I'm just strangely relieved."

"Why?"

"Because this means that it's just some screwed up shit in your head that's keeping you quiet, not any fault on my part. It's a bit comforting."

Zoro couldn't help but laugh at that, even as he slapped Sanji harder than necessary across the back. "I guess we're both just screwed-up in the head, aren't we?"

"Hey, don't count _me_ in on that."

The two of them settled back into their original positions, the atmosphere much lighter and at ease.

"Alright, I'll tell you about it," Zoro said. "Just get me another beer."

"Get it yourself."

"Do you want to hear it or not?"

Sanji got him his beer.

"That's right. Okay." Zoro opened his can with a _click._

"You're going to get fat, drinking all that alcohol."

"If I don't take in enough calories then I'm going to be as skinny as you. Well…where to start…"

"How about at the very beginning? What part of Earth Sector did you grow up in?"

"Oh, all over the place, really…I don't really know who my parents are, or were. I just remember always wandering around, trying to find things to eat. I guess I was pretty strong for my age, because I kept bullying other kids into giving me their food, but…"

_Zoro walked down the street, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he looked around moodily in search of another target. It was already eventide, and he had not yet had his fill for the day. His ears perked up when he heard the sounds of other children crying._

"_Scram! You don't have anything left to give us, so get away!" A young girl brandished what appeared to be a bamboo stick in one hand, although Zoro could tell that it was meant to be a practice sword for some sort of martial arts. The children who had been cowering in front of her fled, their pockets emptied of all food and valuables. "Weaklings…"_

_Zoro saw that there was a small pile of loot in front of her. Despite the fact that she stood with a group of four or five children behind her, he was confident that he could wrest that food from her without much trouble._

"_You! I'll fight you for that!" Zoro challenged, looking around and grabbing a couple of sticks that he saw leaning up against the wall._

_She looked at him like he was an idiot._

"_No one can beat Kuina!" one of the boys behind her piped up. "Go home, before you embarrass yourself."_

_Kuina stopped him. "Sure. How about this—if you beat me, you can take it. But if I beat you, then you join us. Agreed?"_

"_What are you, some sort of gang?" Zoro snorted. He'd been offered the chance to join some of these young pseudo-gangs, but had always declined. Being in groups cramped his style._

_She smiled slightly. "Yeah, we are, actually. Don't judge us until you can beat us."_

_He ran at her, fully intending to strike her across the face._

_When she moved under his attack and stood far inside his range of motion, he knew that he was a goner._

"So you tried to beat up a girl and got your ass whooped?"

"Shut up. She was strong."

"Pathetic…"

_Zoro joined their group—called the Kendo Gang—and roamed the streets with them. He was constantly improving his use of two swords (that had been 'donated' after a visit to a martial arts shop) during his time with Kuina, and together they were unstoppable._

"_We're gonna rule Earth Sector, right, Zoro?" Kuina would say cheekily. "Or rather, I'll rule it and you'll be my right-hand man. First and second best swordsmen in Navarone—no, in the world!"_

_They had dreams. Not especially glorious ones, but ones that they themselves approved of. And it was enough._

_They were going to reach the top, one way or another._

"Wait, you were part of the Kendo Gang?"

"Yeah, you heard of us?"

Sanji stared. "No kidding! You guys were freaking famous! I remember Buggy always used to go on about how he wanted to beat you guys up, but we never encountered you guys. You were very good at staying hidden. I heard that you fell apart, but no one knew how or why. Come to think of it, I wonder what happened to Buggy…" A memory niggled at the back of his mind, prodding him to connect two disjoint memories.

"The police were starting to get involved, so we stayed on the down low."

"But wait…didn't you say your family said that they were full Japanese or something? How were you wandering the streets, then?"

"I tracked them down a little while ago with this genetic testing thing. I didn't learn much, and I obviously wasn't very welcome, so I didn't bother to keep contact. They were only distant relatives, anyway."

"_What are you talking about? How can she be gone?" Zoro shouted at the cowering boy before him. Zoro was standing in the middle of the run-down building (a 'dojo,' Kuina had called it) that they had been using as their base. His swords had fallen to the ground in his disbelief._

"_She…she went back home," one of the boys whispered, tears running down his face. "We couldn't stop them! We didn't know anything about it! Some big guys from Water Sector came down here and took her away, saying that her father had sent for her!"_

"_No!" Zoro screamed. "She's not one of them! She's one of us, isn't she? Hasn't she been, for the past years? Isn't she the leader of the Kendo Gang?" One of the other gang members handed him a yellow and worn newspaper. Zoro read the cover in disbelief. He had taught himself to read after realizing that being illiterate only made him more vulnerable. "'Japanese princess found after ten years of absence, country celebrates'? What the hell is this? Princess?" He crumpled up the paper and threw it furiously at the wall._

"_Zoro…calm down…"_

"_No! I'm not going to fucking calm down!" Zoro roared. He picked up his swords. "I'm going after her." He left, not knowing that he would never return._

_It was too late to retrieve her from Water Sector, but Zoro fought and stole until he had procured enough money to get a plane ticket to Japan. It took him months and nearly cost him his sanity, but he did it. Upon arrival, he was shocked to see the whole country in mourning as he left the airport. The scent of incense was heavy upon the air, and he could see people wearing grim expressions and carrying around strange charms. This was nothing like the travel brochure he had grabbed to read on the thirteen hour plane ride from Navarone to Tokyo. He grabbed a morose Japanese boy and shook him, screaming questions. The boy couldn't understand him—he was speaking English, after all—and merely pointed to a newspaper stand. Zoro grabbed the first one and saw a picture of Kuina on the front cover._

_He didn't need a translator to know that she was dead. She had commit suicide._

Sanji was silent after hearing this, feeling completely overwhelmed. His own childhood had been no picnic, but Zoro's was like a sortie from Hell.

"I…" Sanji stuttered, unsure of what to say. "Shit, man, I'm…"

"Don't worry about it," Zoro interrupted his incoherent apologies. "I've gone past the point where her death…I've accepted it, is all. It's not like…well…" Zoro sighed. "She couldn't adapt to her new life. It was just too different. Her father had refused to see that, and she ended up killing herself after realizing that she would be a cloistered princess forever. She was like a bird, in that sense…she could never live in a cage like that."** Zoro sighed. "You remember Tashigi, right? I really resented her when we first met, because she looks and acts so much like Kuina. I thought…given the fact that they're around the same age…maybe it was all a mistake, and maybe Tashigi was the one they were looking for all along. If they had taken the right girl, then Kuina would be alive and still kicking my ass today. But I realized that it was useless to think of hypothetical situations like that." He crushed the empty can in his hand. This was something that even Robin and Luffy didn't know about.

"So, uh…" Sanji mumbled, trying to say something that made a little sense. "What happened then? What did you do from there?"

Zoro rolled his neck, listening to his joints cracking. "After that, I went after her father. That probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, since he was royalty or whatever, but when I finally made my way to the palace, they…he actually welcomed me." Even now, Zoro looked a little stunned. "I guess Kuina had told him about me. I mean, all she'd have to say was 'green hair' and they'd be able to recognize me, right? But there was a translator and stuff, and he asked me about her life. Apparently she was kidnapped and taken here, but something went wrong and the kidnappers lost her before getting caught. He was very pleased that she had still taken up swordsmanship, even when she was too young to have remembered that her father was a master at it." He rose, holding his abdomen. "I'll be right back. Gotta piss."

"You could just say 'I need to use the bathroom' or something, you know."

"Feh, whatever…" Zoro shut the door to the bathroom and stared in the mirror before unzipping his pants and doing his business. After flushing and washing his hands, he ran a wet hand through his hair tiredly. He washed his face, ignoring the red rims of his eyes and mingling the hot salt water on his cheeks with the clear, cool liquid pouring from the faucets. Reasonably refreshed, he went back to where he had left Sanji and found the other man sprawled out across the couch, his own empty beer can rolling across the floor. His mouth was open in a silent snore, and a thin line of drool was already making its way down his slightly stubbled chin.

"Idiot," Zoro muttered affectionately, tossing the can into the paper shopping bag full of other cans for recycling and arranging Sanji in a more comfortable position. He was sorely tempted to kick him (his jaw was still a bit sore, after all) but instead went to his bedroom and searched in his closet until he found his spare blankets and pillows. "People will take advantage of you if you sleep just anywhere," Zoro chided the sleeping man, tucking the blanket under him and placing the soft pillow beneath Sanji's head. "Man, this would be the perfect time for blackmail."

---

"Wake up. It's time for work."

Sanji frowned. His body was deliciously warm, and he was in an especially comfortable position while wrapped up in the comforter like pigs in a blanket. Whoever was bold and foolish enough to try and wake him up would have to roll him off the couch before—

The couch. He was on a couch.

Sanji sat bolt upright, his forehead smashing in Zoro's face. Zoro's eyes widened as they both heard a loud crack.

"You moron! What the hell did you do that for?" Zoro yelped, clutching his head. "Urgh…"

Sanji rolled unceremoniously off the couch, trying to wiggle his arms out of the blanket to grab his own aching head. "Why are you standing right above me? What am I still doing here? Augh, what the hell is your head made of to be so freaking hard?" Memories flashed into his head, concerning a night of drinking and one beer too many. "Oh, shit. What time is it?"

"Around six thirty. Don't you have to go?"

"Oh, damn." Sanji managed to extricate himself from his confines and patted his pockets for his keys. "Hey, Zoro, I'm really sorry about this—"

"We'll talk later. You have to open up in half an hour, don't you?" Zoro was already dressed in his workout clothes and looked strangely awake for a man who had had far less than a full night's sleep.

"Yeah. But, shit, I can't greet my customers looking like _this!"_ Sanji didn't have a mirror on hand, but he could tell that his face and hair could both use a good washing, and that his breath was absolutely repellant. "I'll see you later, then."

"Wait." Zoro looked rather hesitant, as though he was considering an option that he knew he was going to regret. "How about I watch the café while you get ready? It shouldn't take that long, right?"

Sanji stopped dead on his tracks. Zoro could practically see the ellipses forming over the man's head.

He sighed heavily. "I guess that could work today. I'll prep you on what to do on the way over." He stopped, looking at Zoro's clothes. "Wear something a little more presentable too, would you? A nice white shirt with dark slacks will be fine. I'm going to go warm up the car." As Sanji ran out the door after fumbling to put his shoes on, Zoro scowled.

"Asshole."

---

"The dough, thank god, has already been prepared and only needs a bit of time in the oven. I just need you to take out the trays according to their orientation. Bottom tray at the first ring of the timer, and then so on. Understood?"

"This would be so much easier if you just went out and bought pastries from the supermarket."

Sanji continued as though he hadn't heard him. "Now, I do have roasted coffee beans already ready to be used, although generally I prefer fresh-roasted. You must grind them and use the water I have in the fridge—no, _not_ tap water—to brew. Do you know how to do it?"

"Robin taught me back while I was still at the University. She loves coffee. Extremely hot water, small granules of coffee bean, yada yada."

"Ah, such a sophisticated woman would—"

"Shut up and just tell me whatever else."

"Hmph. Well, it would be nice if you could take all the stools down and put them in their proper orientation, and take off the covers from the couches. You'll also have to wipe down all the tables, wash the fruit in anticipation of customers looking for fruit bowls or juice, and…oh god, you can't even properly make omelet can you? I don't even want you to try to make quiche."

"You're hyperventilating again. You should really get that checked out."

"Only you're stressful enough to make me react like this," Sanji snapped. "Alright. We're here. Do you remember everything?"

"Of course."

Sanji rubbed his temples wearily. "I'll be down after I clean up and…oh god, I didn't even brush my teeth last night, either." He unlocked the café doors and sprinted upstairs.

Zoro looked around at the dark room, flipping the light switch to illuminate the space. He set to work immediately moving the trays of prepared dough from the fridge directly into the oven in the exact order that they had been placed after he had allowed the oven to preheat, smacking the timer once everything had been properly carried out. He then automatically began to prepare the coffee, praying that he hadn't forgotten anything since the last time he had made it.

_No point in taking any risks._ He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the first number on speed dial, waiting as the phone rang.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Robin? This is Zoro. I need your help…"

---

Sanji walked into the bathroom and stared at his reflection in utter disbelief.

His curly eyebrow had been darkened with black marker, and he wore a curly moustache that mirrored the shape of his eyebrow. His eyes had also been blackened to give him the look of a strange raccoon.

"ZORO!"

Downstairs, Zoro grinned. He had the pictures on his cell phone.

---

Sanji rubbed his wet hair with a dry towel, breathing in the steam that rose from every surface after he had taken his shower. He now felt suitably refreshed after cleaning every inch of his body, and the bags under his eyes were not too noticeable now. He had thought about killing Zoro, but decided that his revenge could wait. It was time to get dressed and make sure that the cabbage-head didn't burn down his café.

When the scent of roasting coffee beans rose up the stairs, Sanji quickly dressed and sprinted downstairs in alarm. He found Zoro taking orders at the cash register and Robin brewing the coffee, with the normal early morning rush running smoothly. The timer dinged loudly, and Zoro turned around to remove the first batch of pastries from the oven while laughing with Robin over a joke they were sharing. Sanji was astonished to see that Zoro seemed to be enjoying the experience. As their eyes locked, Zoro winced as he burned his hand on the oven's interior, but Sanji was impressed to see that his grip on the tray did not waver.

"Ah, I'll get that," Sanji said, putting on a pair of oven mitts and relieving Zoro of his burden. "Thanks. But…what is Robin doing here? Not that I mind in the least, of course."

Robin smiled as she watched the coffee dripping. "Oh, Zoro called to ask me how to properly brew the coffee, and I felt that it would be better if I came and showed him myself rather than let him fumble with oral instructions. I was on my way to the University anyway, and my first class doesn't start until ten." She poured the coffee into a cup and tasted it. "Hmm, the quality of your beans is quite good, Sanji. You must have been doing this for a long time."

Sanji beamed. "My old man used to be able to make just about anything, from fine cuisine to rustic hodgepodge. Beverages were no exception. He taught me everything he knew." Sanji looked around at the number of customers and was pleased. "There's a much bigger crowd than usual today, though. How've you guys been holding up?"

"Fine," Zoro replied as he moved quickly to mop up the milk that one of the customers had spilled.

"I called a few of my colleagues and students," Robin added nonchalantly. "Coincidentally, this café is close enough to most of their commutes to school to stop by in the morning. It appears as though they are very pleased with it."

"Oh, thanks Robin!" Sanji exclaimed. "I haven't put any ads out yet, so that really helps a lot. But…I can't let my friends keep working. I could pay you for today—"

"Zip it, cook," Zoro interrupted. "It's no big deal."

"I'll just take this cup of coffee as compensation," Robin said with a smile. Both of them were adamant. "However, I should be on my way. I promised one of my students that I would tutor her a little before class started." After she left with a wave, Sanji swooned.

"Such a considerate woman," Sanji murmured. "She is not for the likes of mere mortals."

Zoro chuckled. "You might think that she's an angel, but she's really a devil on the inside."

"Why'd you go out with her, then?"

"Haven't you heard of that saying? Birds of a feather flock together."

"Hm…" Sanji hummed. "Well, I can take it from here. Thanks so much for helping me out."

"It's no problem." Zoro glanced at his watch. "I should get going too, though. I've got training to do."

"Oh, by the way," Sanji said, suddenly remembering. "What's the whole deal with the Silver Fox thing?"

Zoro shushed him with a furtive look. "Don't speak of it here. If you stop by Baroque Works later, then we'll talk about it."

When Zoro had left, Sanji saw a mess of yellow, red, and green _stuff_ on a plate. A note was tucked under it, and Sanji chuckled as he read it.

_I told you I could make omelet. -Zoro_

Sanji tasted the unfortunate egg concoction and was pleasantly surprised.

He was not so pleasantly surprised when he found the pan that Zoro had used to make it. It was covered in oil, egg, and bits of vegetable matter.

_It's funny how he can make me want to thank and kill him at the same time,_ Sanji thought.

---

The dojo was quiet, without the raucous yells of his younger students or the groans of his older ones. The window shades were down and the room was dark. Zoro was on his hands in the middle of the room, performing handstand pushups. He was serene in his work, undisturbed by the outside world. The walls were soundproofed to keep each class from disturbing the other.

The tranquility was disturbed when Bon burst into the room in a rush of light and cries of "Zoro, darling, I'm here!"

"Get the fuck out."

"Now, that's not very nice, is it?" Bon pouted. He stood directly in front of Zoro, who was still on his hands, and moved up and down with every movement Zoro made. "You'd be much happier if you settled down like I did, cupcake. There's no pressure at all, compared to when I was on the fighting scene. I wonder if Foxy has found a replacement for me, though?"

"He has."

"Really? Who?" Bon twisted his head until he and Zoro were facing the same orientation. "If there was anyone worth mentioning, I would already…have known…" Comprehension dawned on his face. "No! Sanji?"

"Yeah." Zoro's legs moved to his chest as he rolled into a sitting position. "I recommended him. It was the only way Foxy would let me into the Silver Fox."

"You…Zoro!" Bon's voice was suddenly very stern. "You know very well why neither of you should be competing in that!"

"Why not?" Zoro said nonchalantly, stretching out his arms. "We're both perfectly capable."

"The only reason anyone enters that is to bump off the competition. If you participate, you risk losing your rank, even if you win your battle. You should know when to recognize when you've hit your peak," Bon snapped. "I stopped when I was recognized as an Alpha Savate user, but we both know that the only reason that I rose above Beta was because the previous master had disappeared. Unfortunately for you, Mihawk will not just up and vanish like Baratie did."

Zoro froze. "What was his name? The previous Alpha."

"Baratie. Zeff Baratie. Why?"

"Sanji. His name is Sanji Baratie." Zoro covered his eyes with his hands as comprehension dawned on him and the pieces began to connect. "Don't you get it? It's not just a coincidence. He was taught by _the_ Baratie! The 'Red Leg'! No wonder he's so good!"

Bon's hands were trembling as he wiped a droplet of sweat off of his nose. "Do you think this has anything to do with that incident?"

"I don't think their meeting was connected to why Zeff left Water Sector, but…do you know anything about what happened to him beforehand?"

Bon scratched his chin, thinking. "Apparently, he was in some illegal tournament out in Earth Sector. I don't know how or why, but rumors were flying about how his leg was horribly damaged, and that's when he disappeared. No one knows what happened after that night. His fortune was gone, too, but you know how the Arabasta Banks are. They don't say anything unless their clients want them to—and Zeff definitely didn't want to say anything about it."

Zoro began to do crunches, thinking furiously. "Do you think Sanji could inherit the old man's fortune if he stepped up to it? He was adopted by Zeff, apparently."

"I don't know. It would be hard, without the proper documentation. Why?"

"It bothers him, you know. He was raised in Earth Sector and rose to Fire Sector after working for _years_. He doesn't feel comfortable, after learning about the Letters—I think he feels like there's too much of a social gap. That's why I wanted him to enter the tournament. He's definitely good enough to make his name well-known, even if I'd never let him beat me." Zoro grinned haughtily.

"Who's to say that Zeff didn't already give Sanji everything he owned?" Bon said with a shrug. "We don't have any way of knowing what he did with his money, do we?"

Zoro flopped onto his back with a groan. "Believe me, there's very little sign of excess in that man's apartment. If he had had any extra cash, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to reach Fire Sector. There's no point in speculating about it, I guess. Is there anything else that you know?"

Bon shook his head. "Not a thing. You could probably ask some of the older residents—you know, like Shanks. I think they knew Baratie a lot better." Bon looked at the reclined Zoro with a crafty look in his eye before leaping upon him. "You look so cute and vulnerable like that!"

"What the—get off! Get off of me, you freaking pervert!" Zoro struggled, but was pinned under Bon's legs.

"Woah, did I come at a bad time?" Sanji stood in the doorway holding a plastic shopping bag and a jacket slung over one shoulder. He was staring at the two entwined men on the floor with an odd expression on his face; his cheeks were red.

"No! Bon, get off of me before I get my hands on my swords and stab you," Zoro hissed, bucking Bon off and rising. "It's not what it looks like. I swear, Sanji, he was the one coming onto me." When Bon wrapped an arm around his waist, Zoro stomped viciously on his foot. Bon decided that it was in his best interests to leave, but not without pecking Sanji lightly on the cheek on his way out.

There was an extremely awkward silence between the two of them.

"Never speak of this again?"

"Agreed."

There was more awkwardness.

"So, uh, what brings you around here?" Zoro asked, looking curiously at the bag.

"The lunch hour rush is over," Sanji said. "I thought I'd stop by. We were going to talk about Foxy, remember?" He held up the bag. "I brought sandwiches. Just leftovers from the café, but they should still be good."

They sat on the bench by the door, eating quietly save for occasional belch on Zoro's part and a disgusted "Dude," on Sanji's.

"So what is this Silver Fox tournament?" Sanji asked suddenly, swallowing his last bite. "You weren't very specific the last time we talked about it."

Zoro coughed, choking on a bit of bread, before answering. "Well, it's this thing that's been going on for years. Apparently, Foxy's dad started it, so that's why you see a lot of older generation guys carrying the title. Actually, scratch that." He stopped, recollecting himself. "Not very many people know about it, but they say that whoever really fights well can rise in the ranks of the Letters. They hold it in Earth Sector, because the police don't get too happy about this kind of fight. It really is a cage fight to the death or surrender, although it isn't necessary for the winner to spare the loser's life."

"So…people have _died?"_

"Yeah. Not a whole lot of them, because it's not good for your image to kill anyone, but a few here and there. Mostly on accident. It's an 'anything goes' fight too—you can use weapons, gouge out someone's eyeballs, kick 'em in the groin…" He shuddered. "But like I said, it's to hype up your image. It's basically a way of seeing how well you respond to a battle like this, and if you can stay composed while your enemy is ready to fight dirty."

"So…why the hell am I fighting in it?"

"Two reasons. First of all, because it's fun," Zoro said with a feral grin. "I've never had the chance to enter this competition before, but I've fought in ones similar to it."

"Are you serious? Where? When?"

Zoro drained the last of the bottle of apple juice that Sanji had brought. "Ah, that's refreshing. Hm? Oh, it was when I was in Japan. I didn't want to take any of Koushiro's—that's Kuina's old man—money to get back to the States, but I borrowed some of his katana and started to enter tournaments. First they were just small ones, barely enough to cover the rent and the Japanese lessons I was taking. Once I could talk to these guys, though I started to hear about bigger competitions, with better money and prizes. I was fighting in the Golden Tiger Tournament, with reps from all over Asia, and I beat some big-name fighter. Went by the name of Saga or something. That's where Mihawk and I met, when he was scouting for people to work for Baroque Works."

"So he just walks up to you, offers you the job…and then you fought, right?"

Zoro snorted. "Yeah. I was such a dumbass. He broke the swords I was using, too. But when I found out that this guy would pay for my airfare and even give me a damned good salary, then I was cool with it. I was…fifteen? No, around sixteen. I'm not really sure when I was born, but I think I was sixteen."

Sanji whistled. "Wow, so you've been working for this guy for what, five years?"

Zoro shook his head. "Seven. I'm twenty-two."

"Damn, and here I was hoping that I was older than you. You said you attended the University, though."

Zoro snorted. "Yeah, Mihawk insisted that I take classes, just so I could get a degree. He said it was to 'look acceptable' or something like that. I majored in Asian Studies and minored in Biology."

"A bio minor? No shit."

Zoro chuckled. "Yeah, I couldn't believe it myself. But now I know how to stab someone without killing them by missing their vital organs, and I can target their vital organs from a bunch of different directions. Good stuff."

"That's scary. What the hell were they teaching you?"

"Fun stuff."

"So, what was the second reason?"

Zoro paused. He hadn't really planned on bringing this up, but it had just slipped out and there was no way that he could succeed in lying to Sanji. "Well, if you fight really well, even if you lose, then there's a chance that you can…make it into the Letters. You could be an Alpha or a Beta, even."

Sanji paused, and Zoro knew that he was reacting just the way he had thought he would. Badly.

"I see…so, you want me to join your ranks, huh? Can't be seen associating with someone unless they're in the Letters? It'll be bad for your cred?" Sanji said, the words flying quickly and hostilely.

A flying kick shocked them both as Sanji went flying, courtesy of a foot clad in ballet slippers. Bon stood in the doorway, trembling with rage as he looked at Sanji.

"You poor fool, don't judge him until he can explain himself," Bon said sadly, helping Sanji up and bringing him into a tearful embrace. "I'm sorry that I had to mar your beautiful face—oof," he grunted as Sanji elbowed him viciously. "He was just worried about you…and wanted you to feel at home with your friends…"

"Shut it, Bon. Don't meddle," Zoro snarled, turning away from Sanji to glare at Bon with all his might.

"What are you talking about?" Sanji snapped. "You're probably some Alpha or Beta something or whatnot too, aren't you?"

"Actually, former Alpha for Savate," Bon corrected him. "But that's beside the point. Zoro's intentions are as pure as my maiden heart!" ("Pfft, my intentions aren't that filthy," Zoro snorted). "Just moments before you interrupted our little moment earlier today, he was confiding in me how he doesn't want you to think of your relationship—" ("'Relationship'?") "—stop interrupting! On your _friendship_. He doesn't want you to see it as something that is affected by social lines or anything. You're just…two men who like similar things and have similar personalities."

"We are nothing alike," Zoro and Sanji snapped at the same time.

"See?" Bon sang, already waltzing for the door. "Perfect for each other!" He left, dodging the barrage of shoes that flew his way.

Silence.

"Why does he seem to be able to make things so damned awkward?" Zoro muttered, rubbing the back of his neck ruefully. "I mean, what the hell is up with that guy…"

"Is it true?"

Zoro looked up to see Sanji wearing a strange expression. "What?"

"Is what he said true? Don't _make_ me repeat myself."

Zoro turned away. "…Yeah. You idiot, I've never met anyone like you before. I…I kind of enjoy your company, even if you're a total jackass," he added in a rush. "I don't want to lose something like this over a discomfort that can be overcome so easily." He suddenly became very interested in a dust ball that flew near his feet, and he prodded it moodily.

Sanji twirled his juice can on one finger, watching in false fascination as the metal cylinder spun.

"You know, you could have just said that in the first place," Sanji remarked off-handedly.

Zoro's head flew up as he turned to frown at Sanji. "I _did _say that."

"No, you didn't."

"Well, that's what I meant."

Sanji sniggered. "Your brain waves aren't strong enough for me to pick up, I'm afraid. If it makes you feel any better…" He coughed slightly. "I don't get too annoyed by your company, either."

"What kind of a twisted way of speaking was that? 'Don't get too annoyed' my ass." He bumped Sanji on the shoulders with his knuckles in a friendly way. Sanji laughed and bumped him back, a little more roughly. Zoro punched him back, a little harder with a shorter bark of laughter.

When Bon peeked through the door to check up on them, he found them wrestling furiously on the floor, shoes discarded and juice cans rolling on the tiles.

"Ah, young love," he tittered, a little too loudly.

"What? Bon! Get back here so I can kick your ass!" Zoro howled, his mouth squished slightly by Sanji's knee.

"Yeah, you fruity bastard!" Sanji hollered in agreement around the elbow in his cheek. "Oi, get off of me."

"You tap out first and I'll get off."

"Mmrmph!"

---

** Both Kuina and Tashigi are named after flightless birds.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Just as a warning, there's going to be a lot of skipping around in terms of time—back and forth, or from scene to scene. If there's ever a term that's used ambiguously (such as 'it' when there is nothing to reference to mean 'it') then that means it'll be explained later.

And thanks to all my reviewers ^^ whenever you suggest things, I try to incorporate it, so if there's anything you want to see more of then...feel free to ask!

---

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present…the Silver Fox Tournament!"

Bright lights flashed from the ceiling; streaks of illumination that lit up the eager faces of gamblers, the excited expressions of those who came for the thrill of watching their fellow humans pummel each other to a messy pulp. There was a general consensus among the audience that the tingle that ran through their spines as they saw the fighters enter the stadium, all together, for the opening ceremony was just as good as the one felt by the fighters. They all stood in their respective uniforms, some flashy and silken while others were modest and plain.

Zoro snorted as he stood next to Sanji. They walked in a fairly orderly fashion to the center of the stadium; the mats were covered by thick carpets to protect them from unnecessary wear before the match. Zoro couldn't help but run a hand up his chest; over his black tank and green haramaki, he wore an open black silken shirt that felt absolutely delicious on his skin. Loose black pants over boot-clad feet flapped slightly as he walked, giving the spectators the impression of a gentle breeze. He looked up at the dark stands but wasn't bothered by the fact that the crowds were hidden by the blinding lights beaming into the stadium. He didn't even feel a single tremor in his belly as he saw his opposition—he was accustomed to it. His three earrings swung as he turned to see how Sanji was faring.

Sanji swallowed slightly, although he appeared as suave as ever despite his nervousness. He had opted for dark blue—loose pants and a loose cotton shirt that he had dug up from the bottom of his drawer. He hadn't known what to expect, but had nearly had a heart attack when he picked up Zoro and found the other man to be clad in _silk._ Who wore _silk_ to a martial arts tournament? There was also the question of the number of swords that Zoro carried, but he hadn't had time to ask in his anxious rush. Sanji looked around and felt a shiver go up his spine as he recognized several figures walking by. There was Daz Bones, whose portrait he had seen hanging at Baroque Works; Don Krieg, the heavyweight boxer whose face was appearing more and more frequently on the media—in fact, Sanji had heard him being discussed on the radio on the drive over; a few other faces were familiar, although Sanji couldn't attach a name to them. Judging by the variety of weapons that he saw being carried proudly, Sanji wondered whether he should wrap his hands in athletic tape just in case.

Sanji saw Zoro glance over at him and shot him a smile full of bravado. He scowled when Zoro snorted and looked away.

The announcer's voice boomed as he introduced the fighters, and Sanji recognized Foxy's rather annoying speaking style. He tuned it out as he considered the sequence of events that had followed his last visit to Baroque Works.

…

Sanji and Zoro sat in the Paris Baguette, drinking coffee and juice respectively (Zoro began to complain about how Sanji didn't sell anything stronger than coffee, but only received insults in return).

"…yeah, and I kicked him and altered his freaking _bone structure!_ Can you believe it?" Sanji said with a laugh, slapping his knee. "I mean, you'd think something like that would make him look even freakier, but I did a damned good job of it. 'Course, when I kicked his face in again, it went back to looking all nasty."

"Sounds painful," Zoro said as he took a bite out of his last cooking experiment. He had tried to make a sausage dish that Sanji had proclaimed as 'easy enough for a ten year old to make.' "Oh, so you're going to be in the Silver Fox for sure, right?"

Sanji thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Eh, what the hell. Are there any prizes? I'm not going to risk anything like this if it's just for a stupid trophy."

Zoro sucked on the straw sticking out of his juice before throwing it aside in disgust and gulping straight from the cup. "Hm? I think the third place contender gets three thousand beri. Second place is ten thousand, and first place is either fifty thousand and a job offering from Mihawk, or the 'special prize.' It's different every year."

"Fifty…thousand?" Sanji sputtered, spraying Zoro with hot coffee. "Oh, sorry, man. But…that's ridiculous! For a single match?"

"Hey, you're risking your life," Zoro said. "And when I say you, I mean it as a general you. I'm not going to get killed by anyone, and I'm sure as hell not going to forfeit."

"If you won't then I won't, either. I'm not losing to you," Sanji grumbled.

Zoro paused, chewing on what might have been a charred potato. "Hrm, about that…some of these guys fight dirty, you know. Hidden knives and poison and stuff. Don't hesitate to tap out if you're against someone who's got an overwhelming advantage because they fight like cowards. Okay?"

"I can handle myself," Sanji snorted. "When is this thing, anyway?"

"Tomorrow night." Zoro sipped the last of his juice calmly. "I need to carry around a flask or something, seriously."

"T—tomorrow night?" Sanji yelped in alarm. "But that's so sudden! Where…what…what am I going to _wear?_"

…

Zoro looked at Sanji's drawn face and chuckled. "You look fine," he whispered.

Sanji snorted. "That's…that's not what I'm worrying about," he whispered back, cheeks flushing. "It's just overwhelming you know? All these people here, watching us like roosters being thrust into a cage…to fight to the death, maybe."

"Just don't think about how much money is being put on us in bets." Zoro's voice was amused. "Thousands and thousands of beri…you're an underdog, you know. I put money on you getting second place."

Sanji was silent for a long time, staring blankly at the other line of competitors that they were facing now in a circle around the center of the ring. "You suck. Way to put pressure on me, asshole."

"C'mon, it's only second place. You won't even be expected to beat _me."_

"How much?"

"Don't worry about it."

Sanji was beginning to wonder whether he'd be disqualified for killing Zoro before the match began.

Foxy's voice boomed even more loudly. "…now, gentlemen—and ladies—bow to each other!" Every contender bowed, some more stiffly and shallowly than others. "As our fighters leave the stadium, we will be matching them up according to skill level and previous titles, as well as by fighting style." Screams of _Oyabin! Oyabin!_ could be heard from the crowd.

As they left the stage, Sanji felt a shudder go up his spine. He looked around and didn't see anyone who could be the source of that tingling of his instinct. Still, as he continued walking, he felt a prickling at the base of his neck again and knew that he'd have to be on guard today.

The fighters proceeded in a single file line down to the preparation rooms under the stadium. The screams of the crowd were muffled down here, and the cool tiles made Sanji relax a little as he heard the irregular staccato of steps, indicating that everyone was walking in the same direction, everyone was calmly proceeding as though they did this every day. Judging by the hardened expressions and muscles on some of these men, it would not be surprising if this was a normal occupation. Sanji had noted that the majority of fighters here were men, although a few may have very well been masculine women.

The end of the hall opened up to a large room that was obviously meant for relaxing before the big fight. Couches were arranged conveniently enough so that one might sit in solitude or shift the furniture to allow conversation with an adjacent lounger. There was a bar stocked not with alcohol but with water, energy drinks, and light snacks ranging from energy bars to fruit. Zoro snorted at the lack of alcohol—no doubt he could have chugged down a bottle of the stuff and still be in good shape—but settled comfortable in a two-person sofa that was in front of the large flat-screen plasma television which currently displayed the stadium, with commentary. Sanji slunk into the chair next to him, watching warily as the other men went around the rest of the room to relax. Several immediately moved to a oaken pool table in the corner, intent on venting their competitive spirit a little. A door on the immediate right bore a red cross in a white circle, and Sanji assumed that it was an infirmary of sorts.

Well, he didn't plan on having to ever explore _that_ room.

"For a tournament that you treated so gingerly, there are a lot of people here," Sanji informed Zoro sourly. "Did you see the people in the crowds?"

Zoro kept his eyes fixed on the monitor, waiting for the brackets to come out. "Most of the people are Foxy's crowd—they take bets from the outside beforehand, and come representing the betters. It's to lessen the risk of getting caught by the authorities. He…he doesn't often deal in legal business ventures. He likes to cater to the wealthy who have too much time and money on their hands. He's like a mob boss—the word 'Oyabin' even means 'Boss.'" He huffed out a sigh in irritation. "Mihawk didn't come. That pompous…"

"Isn't he your boss?" Sanji asked curiously. "Why would you want to fight him?"

"There's no point in winning if I can't juxtapose my strength next to his," Zoro grumbled. "I might rise to Alpha tonight, but that doesn't mean that I'll be better than him by any means. There's no point to tonight anymore."

"Oh, cheer up. I saw a few other swordsmen tonight. Won't they be entertaining to you a little?" Sanji said, elbowing Zoro good-naturedly in the ribs.

Zoro swatted him away. "Them? They're hardly worth my time."

"Still as arrogant as ever, Roronoa." A man who wore an oddly tight suit covered by a cape with a thick ruff stood behind them, glaring at Zoro down the bridge of his sharp nose. "It looks like you have a friend this time, though. My name is Pin Joker," he said, bowing to Sanji slightly. Sanji could see why this man's name suited his appearance—he appeared to have a red tattoo on one eye, along with a nasty scar.

"I'm Sanji B—" Sanji began, but was cut off when Zoro interrupted quickly.

"Go away, Pin-head," Zoro growled. Pin huffed in annoyance and stomped off, muttering curses under his breath.

"Dude, you really are an asshole," Sanji said with a scowl. "He was being courteous. At least, he was to me."

Zoro sighed. "Hey…don't tell anyone your last name."

"What? Why?"

"Just…I'll explain it later," Zoro muttered. "Trust me on this. It'll only bring trouble."

Sanji was about to argue further, but held his tongue. This was Zoro's domain; he'd have to respect his boundaries.

"Oh, the brackets are up," someone said, and everyone moved to gather around the screen.

"Doesn't having my name on the board defeat the purpose of my hiding it?" Sanji muttered to Zoro out of the corner of his mouth. Zoro shook his head and pointed.

'Sanji B. vs. Jerry C.'

"Oh."

Zoro snorted in laughter.

"Shut up. Where's your name?"

'Zoro R. vs. Pin J.'

"Lucky you," Sanji said with a grin. Zoro, however, was scowling.

"Who the hell thought that we were similar in ability?" Zoro snarled, pounding the chair with his fist. "What kind of a stupid…"

"I have improved, Roronoa," Pin Joker said coldly. "Do not treat your opponents so lightly." He stalked off, and both swordsmen obviously looked very peeved.

"Hey, easy win though, right?" Sanji said.

"Mere victory isn't the only point," Zoro grumbled. "Beating a guy like him won't change anything." They sat in silence, watching as the brackets were put in order. "Looks like the newbies are up first, though."

"Do you know them?"

"Nah. That's why I know that they're not really important yet. They might be in the future, though," Zoro said thoughtfully, looking eager. "They usually put the newest and weakest guys first to warm up the crowed. Oh—your match is the very first one. Look."

Sanji scowled as he stood, glaring at the screen. "They think I'm weak, huh? I'll show them." He began to walk down the hall, accompanied by an extremely tall man who was, strangely enough, wearing a suit.

Zoro didn't move from his seat, but caught Sanji as he called out, "Hey, cook." Sanji looked over his shoulder and saw that Zoro was still facing the screen.

Zoro seriously meant to say _Fuck 'em up!_ But it came out as…

"Don't fuck up."

Sanji stomped off, cursing under his breath.

Zoro sighed as he leaned back on the couch, propping his legs on the space that Sanji had just vacated. "Good…get mad, go bat shit crazy. Don't take any chances…don't give them any mercy."

---

Sanji stood in the middle of the ring, stretching his legs idly as Foxy announced their names. The response from the crowd was half-hearted at best, and he glanced up at the enormous screens on either side of the stadium that were focused on his face and Jerry's. Next to their faces were statistics concerning their general fighting styles and abilities, as well as their odds.

He scowled when he saw that even though Jerry was at a fifteen-to-one ratio, _he_ was at an eighty-to-one ratio. _Do I _look_ that weak?_ Sanji demanded silently.

Jerry swung his fists in the air, warming up his arms as he jabbed at invisible enemies. "Nervous, kiddo?" he said with a wink. His voice was rough and gravelly, suggesting that he might have come from the Bronx. "Don't worry. I'll put you to sleep real quick. I've learned a mix of boxing and karate that's damned formidable."

Foxy walked between them, wearing the black polo and slacks of a referee. He held the mike in one hand while the other waved to the crowd. He turned to them and said, "Alright, gents, you know the rules?" Sanji looked blankly at him while Jerry nodded. "I want everyone in the audience to tell these guys what the rules are!"

The crowd roared. "THERE ARE NO RULES!"

"That's damned right!" Foxy screeched into the microphone. "Well, except that you can let your opponent walk away if they surrender, but other than that…the floor's all yours. Ready? Fight!" He danced out of the way quickly, obviously expecting the two men to start fighting. As he backed out, Sanji was astonished to hear a mighty clanging noise as the stadium shook. He looked around quickly and saw four metal walls closing in on them from the very edges of the stadium.

"Remember, ladies and gentlemen," Foxy bellowed through the microphone. "The walls will move in and down at regular intervals, closing the range and space available to the fighters. The spikes will ensure that if either participant takes too long, then they will both lose out."

Sanji looked up and saw that the ceiling of the cage was lined with wicked teeth that loomed overhead as a constant reminder of the time limit.

_Fuck._

Better finish this up quickly, then.

Sanji stood, hands in his pockets, watching Jerry closely. Jerry himself was feinting left and right, making use of his height to aim at Sanji from above. He was not fazed, though.

"What, are you giving up already?" Jerry taunted with a sneer.

Sanji smiled pleasantly. "You're full of openings. _Collier Shoot!"_

The stadium was silent, save for the crack of Jerry's jaw and the thudding sound he made as he fell to the floor. The spray of blood that spurted from his mouth and nose were like red flags that signaled his defeat.

Foxy coughed slightly. "W-winner…Sanji!" The crowd seemed to regain its voice as everyone screamed with more energy than they had when the fight had first begun.

Sanji returned and found Zoro snoring on the couch.

"Oi! Did you even watch?" Sanji snapped, sitting on Zoro's legs.

Zoro opened his eyes. "You're so light, man. What do you eat, air? Yeah, I saw. Not bad. Of course, Jerry was a pushover. If it had taken any longer for you to beat him, then I would've kicked your ass for being so weak."

Sanji snorted. "Yeah, yeah. When's your fight?"

Zoro pointed to the bottom of the list. "There. I'm the last fight for the first round. You'll be fighting another round in about an hour. These fights never last long."

The time flew fairly quickly as they watched the other competitors fighting on the screen. Everyone either KOed their opponent or allowed them to walk out with their lives, until Don Krieg's fight. He pummeled his opponent, sitting on the other man's stomach even as the unfortunate man held his hands out in a symbol of surrender—his mouth was long rendered useless after Krieg has smashed his teeth in. Sanji watched in horrified fascination as the body was carried out, and several workers clad in black masks—the symbol of Foxy's gang, he was informed by a bored Zoro—cleaned the blood and gore off the stage.

"Quite the vicious one, isn't he?" Sanji said to Zoro. "What does Foxy do about the bodies?"

"Ever been to the Navarone Zoo?"

"Yeah, they've got this really cool…tiger exhibit…" Sanji's voice faltered. "Oh, that's just nasty."

"Efficient, though. You can't even tell which are human or beef bones."

Sanji shuddered at how Zoro didn't even look fazed.

"So, you should be coming up soon, huh?" Sanji said offhandedly, taking a swig from a bottle of water. "Shouldn't you be getting ready?"

Zoro shrugged. "I have everything I need right here." He patted the swords that were safely tucked into the crook of his arm at the moment, and Sanji remembered what he had meant to ask.

"Why three? Two seems difficult enough, but I can't even imagine where you put the third one. Perhaps with your toes, monkey man?"

Zoro scowled. "You'll see. This fight should be a breeze, so you won't be able to see me in my top form, but it should still be enough to shut your mouth." He glanced up at the board and stood, fastening his swords to his waist. "One day, I'll explain the significance behind these blades." He walked out, accompanied by Pin Joker. The two of them glared at one another, but didn't say a word.

"Hey, moss-head!" Sanji yelled. Zoro turned around with an annoyed look on his face.

"What?"

"Don't get lost on your way out there."

Zoro stormed out angrily with an amused Pin Joker on his heels.

Revenge was a bitch.

---

Zoro stood in the arena calmly, testing his blades lightly on the edge of his thumb. He watched Pin Joker out of the corner of his eye, wondering what had made the other man improve so much in the ranks. Pin Joker himself was not physically assuming; he was long and lean, and he fought with a _fencing sword_ for heaven's sakes. How could he lose?

"Ready, begin!"

Pin Joker swooped in, almost faster than the eye could follow.

_Oh. Speed. Just like Sanji._

Zoro blocked the needling attacks of the fencing blade with a single sword, watching Pin Joker carefully. He was fast, but not nearly fast enough to normally be put on equal footing with Zoro. What was going on here?

"I see that you're still confused," Pin Joker sneered. He reached for his waist, and Zoro felt his instincts prickling.

The wave of needles that thudded into the floor where Zoro had been standing just moments before hissed, and Zoro frowned.

"You need poisoned needles to win? Pathetic," Zoro snarled.

"Not so pathetic if I win though, is it? Look." Pin Joker pointed to Zoro's pant leg, and he saw a single long needle that had managed to embed itself deep into his leg. It must have had some sort of sedative mixed into it, for he hadn't felt a thing when the thin needle sunk in.

"Oh…" Zoro groaned; he could already feel the poison sinking in. His movements were more sluggish, and the arena seemed to go in and out of focus. "Sssshit, what's in that?" he slurred, tearing the needle out of his leg and throwing it aside.

Pin Joker smiled. "It's a paralysis and sedative. Not lethal, but it's enough to win. Your vision is already suffering, isn't it? Your reflexes should also be greatly impaired. See?" Zoro only barely managed to block the slashing attack, but still somehow received a nasty cut along his torso; his shirt was sliced open, and a thin line of blood ran down his chest. "What a sad end for the great Roronoa Zoro. I'll be sure to keep your Beta seat warm for you before I go after Mihawk."

Zoro's eyes snapped open and he snarled; it was an animalistic roar that reverberated throughout the stadium, hushing the crowds. "I liked this shirt. You bastard," he hissed, concentrating fiercely. "You think I'll be beaten by a little poison?"

_I don't want to use all three against this bastard…but I have to finish quickly, before the poison really sets in._

"Still have the energy to fight?" Pin Joker leered, watching Zoro pant as he drew all three swords.

In the waiting room, Sanji sat bolt upright.

"Three swords? He's really using—oh fuck me, he's putting it in his mouth!"

Zoro panted harshly, struggling against his own leaden limbs. He could hear Foxy screeching into the microphone, something about "….Zoro Roronoa…impaired by poison…change in position…"

"Oni…"

"You might as well give up with a little dignity, Roronoa," Pin Joker said disdainfully, holding his sword at the ready in preparation for his next attack.

"…_Giri_!"

Pin Joker collapsed in a shower of blood, his fencing saber sliced into pieces. Zoro cleaned his swords on the fallen man and sheathed them, glaring at Foxy.

"Well? Are you waiting for me to finish him off, or what?"

Foxy scrambled to announce the winner, and Zoro stood unsteadily to drag himself back into the waiting room.

Sanji ran out to help him in just short of the entrance, but found that Zoro was far heavier than he looked when he was not in control of his own body. "Oof! You idiot, you let him get you with that stupid needle! What were you thinking? And what's this about three swords? Are you insane? What the…"

"Cook."

"What?"

"Shut up. You're giving me a headache. Go…get me a freaking antidote. I don't like the way this poison is affecting my body." Zoro collapsed against the couch, twitching slightly. Sanji felt his breath hitch in his throat as he sprinted to the infirmary, knocking the door down to find an enormous doctor waiting inside…

"Chopper?" Sanji said in surprise. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Chopper looked up in alarm and squeaked, knocking over a row of glass bottles and only barely managing to catch them in his arms before setting them gently on the table. "Sanji! What the hell! You scared me!" he yelled, picking Sanji up easily and inspecting him. "You're not injured, are you? Zoro said something about you entering, but I didn't think you'd actually do it."

"Why are _you_ here?" Sanji asked. "Wait, no. Right now Zoro needs an antidote. Some Pin Joker guy used poison on him, and he's in pretty bad shape."

Chopper immediately dropped Sanji and dashed outside, picking a groaning Zoro up and sweeping him back into the medical room. "Why didn't you_ say_ so?" Chopper snapped, immediately cleaning the long scratch across Zoro's chest. "This is just a shallow cut, fortunately, so it won't scar. The bleeding has already stopped. Is this where the poison came in?"

Sanji shook his head. "No. There was something on his leg." They found the hole that the needle had made and Chopper clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

"Well, at least it was a thin needle. It doesn't look like the tip has broken off." He dabbed at the thin rivulet of blood running down Zoro's leg and began to mix several clear liquids together, creating a brilliant yellow solution which he mixed with the blood. "It looks like a fairly common mix of diluted poison dart frog secretion…easily treatable." Chopper began mixing other liquids together, and Sanji marveled at the sure swiftness of his movements.

"So, why are you here, Chopper? Don't you work at the hospital?" Sanji asked again. Chopper didn't look up, but responded without a hitch in his movements.

"University classes were expensive, you know? It's hard to find doctors who are willing to risk their licenses for competitions like this, but it's necessary. The pay…the pay is good," Chopper said morosely. "Zoro told me about this opportunity. The internship doesn't pay all that well, you know, and I'm still paying off my student debts. Even though I'm a Beta, I still haven't been accredited long enough for it to start paying off. Besides, I get a lot of experience!" he said brightly.

Sanji laughed. "Yeah, Zoro told me about this place, too. I could really use the cash…"

Chopper sighed. "Even Fire Sector's not easy to live, huh?"

"Yeah…"

The two of them watched after Chopper had poured a vial of antidote into Zoro's mouth, watching his stiffness subside and his face adopt an expression of normal lethargy, rather than a drug-induced one; soon, his snores rumbled through his chest.

"This man can sleep through anything, it seems," Sanji grumbled, poking Zoro slightly in the side. Zoro merely grumbled and turned over, muttering something. "What was that?"

"…cut off your…" Zoro groaned, making a violent expression as he gnashed his teeth. "…testicles…"

"Yikes," Sanji said, pulling away. "So, what happens now?"

Chopper sat on a stool, his long legs tucked up with his feet swinging childishly. "Hm? Now they rearrange the brackets according to the skill that they saw in the previous match. Your betting numbers fluctuate, too. Zoro's was the last match, right? Let's go out and see what's going on." The two of them went into the main room and looked at the screen, where the rest of the fighters were congregated. The names and faces of the remaining contenders flashed on the screen, and Sanji grinned when he saw that his odds had improved slightly.

"Look, they're putting your matches!" Chopper squealed in excitement and trepidation. "Looks like you're fighting some guy named Gin."

"So you're Sanji, huh?" The speaker was a gaunt man who wore a vest embroidered with dragons over a black shirt. His head was covered by a round cap and he leaned on a pair of tonfa in both hands. "I'm Gin. I saw you, in your last fight. I'm surprised that your ranks are so low." He smiled, and Sanji could detect a hint of demonic malice in that friendly expression. "I look forward to it." He walked off, swinging his tonfa easily in one hand; Sanji could see two indents on the floor where their weight had sunk in.

Chopper whistled. "He looks pretty strong. Be careful, Sanji! I heard that he's associated with Don Krieg, and we all know what Krieg does to _his_ opponents."

Sanji remembered the man that had been beaten to death and nodded grimly.

"Sssanji," Zoro groaned as he pulled himself unsteadily out of the room and leaning against the walls. "Where are m'swords?"

"They're in the infirmary. You didn't see them?" Sanji went and brought them out. "You should be lying down, you know."

"Yeah," Chopper agreed. "It'll take some time before you can fight again. Good thing your fight is last on the list again."

"Sanji," Zoro insisted on saying as he flopped back onto a couch. "Be careful…" Zoro felt as though someone had stuck cotton into his mouth and brain, and shook his head furiously as he grabbed a bottle of water and drank quickly.

"Why?" Sanji asked curiously. "You don't trust my abilities?"

Zoro finished the bottle and sat up more comfortably. "It's not that. He's…he's strong. He's not ranked high 'cause of his strength. He's…a bit like you." Zoro's words were flowing more clearly as the poison was slowly cleared from his system. "He hasn't been seen much, since he works in the shadows behind Krieg, but he's strong. I've seen him fight, once. It was him against ten other men, all pretty good fighters."

Sanji asked a question he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to. "What happened in his fight?"

Zoro cracked open another bottle of water. "Their bodies were found, with the faces smashed beyond all recognition. Tashigi later told me that the police couldn't even identify them without their fingerprints. His weapon…the tips of the tonfa are like cannonballs, in both weight and strength. Don't let yourself get hit. Just finish it as quickly as possible, because he needs even less room than you do to swing his weapons."

"Your match is up next, Sanji," Chopper said in a hushed voice. Gin was already walking calmly down the hallway that led to the stadium. "Be careful, okay?"

Sanji nodded, ruffling Zoro's hair lightly with one hand as he made his way out the door. "Don't think so lightly of me, moss-head," Sanji said lightheartedly. "I'll be fine. Look at yourself before worrying about me." He left with a wave.

"That idiot," Zoro muttered under his breath. "…I'm not worried about you…" He settled back with Chopper to watch the fight.

Chopper looked at Zoro's clenched hands, but didn't say a word.

---

"Sanji vs. Gin—begin!"

Sanji had planned on watching Gin's movements before finishing him off like Jerry, but was shocked when Gin disappeared. Only his reflexes and instincts saved him from decapitation when a tonfa swung at his head from behind.

_He's fast!  
_

Sanji moved quickly, his feet tapping the floor with as much speed as he could muster while he maneuvered to move under Gin's weapons and try to get in his range. However, Gin's speed and strength matched his own, and while he avoided the brunt of any attacks, he could tell that his legs would not hold up to a direct hit.

_Shit…!_

_---_

Zoro watched from the other room, and Chopper didn't have the heart to tell him that the plastic water bottle in his hand was crushed beyond recognition.

"You shitty cook, stop fooling around!" Zoro hissed under his teeth.

Chopper stepped in when he saw a thin trickle of blood running down Zoro's hands.

---

_The walls…they're closing in._

Gin was standing over him, waiting for him to tap out with a tonfa ready to be swung for the final attack.

Sanji grinned as he spat out a mouthful of blood. His hands were clenched in a refusal to give in.

_Feh, like I'll give that musclehead the satisfaction of knowing that I couldn't live up to his standards._

Sanji stood, his ears pounding with every beat of his heart and an intense sensation running through his body.

_Is he toying with me? His movements are suddenly so slow…_

Gin swung his tonfa with deadly accuracy. "I gave you the chance to forfeit, but now…you must die."

Sanji saw the iron ball whistling at his head…

The iron walls clicked a few inches close to the center of the ring, and the iron spikes loomed overhead. Time was running out.

---

"Move, you idiot!" Zoro yelled at the screen, pounding the chair with one fist.

He saw the tonfa swinging at Sanji's head with incredible speed. There was no way Sanji could avoid it.

"Sanji!"

---

He saw the ball flying at his face.

_Shitty old man, what was it that you used to talk about? An inner peace in the turmoil of battle…_

Sanji dodged the tonfa in a split second. His body was as fluid as water, and his feet were on fire.

_You called it…_

_Diable…Jambe._

---

Zoro stared at the screen.

"What the…"

Sanji had avoided the attack with impossible speed and dexterity, and his leg had swung up to hit Gin hard in the chin. He could have sworn that there had been a flash of light, a brilliance that shouldn't have appeared on the dark blue pants that Sanji wore.

_He wasn't hiding a blade under those pants, was he?_

Gin staggered back as his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

---

Sanji stared at Gin, who had toppled over with the direct hit to his chin that had forced his head back with a click.

"Winner—Sanji!"

He managed to walk coolly back to the waiting room where Zoro was waiting for him with wide eyes.

"I told you I would be fine," Sanji informed him with a smirk, before falling flat on his face in a dead faint.

Chopper rushed forward and took him to the infirmary.

---

"Sanji. Wake up."

Sanji opened his eyes blearily.

"What the hell?" He rubbed his eyes with heavy arms. "How much did I drink to get to this state?"

"You moron!" A heavy fist pounded dangerously close to his head as Chopper squealed in the background. "Do you know how close you were to dying out there? I told you to forfeit if you got in a bad position! You could have _died!_ They would have fed you to the tigers!_"_

"Ah, is the moss-head worried about me?" Sanji said with a grin as he remembered what had happened. "How sweet."

Zoro grit his teeth. "Shut up. I don't know how you did it, but you beat Gin. It's time to go home."

Sanji looked at him in surprise as he struggled to rise from the infirmary bed. "What? But the tournament can't be over with yet, can it?"

"Can you stand?" Zoro asked. When Sanji nearly toppled over, he sighed and picked him up bridal style.

"Oy! At least hold me in a more dignified position!" Sanji protested weakly.

Zoro ignored him. "The tournament is over a course of two days. They want the fighters to be in top condition, after all, and most of the ones who are moving to the third round are already in bad shape."

"You don't seem to be too badly off," Sanji remarked. Zoro shrugged, but the motion made the smooth silk of his top slide down his shoulder. Sanji gasped as he saw the myriad of cuts that ran along Zoro's shoulder before he pulled his sleeve back up with his teeth. "What the hell happened in your fight?"

Zoro shrugged. "There was this idiot who called himself Eric the Whirlwind. I don't know how, but he used these knives that seemed to fly all over the place. I beat him, though. No big deal."

Sanji decided not to comment on the blood he felt seeping through Zoro's shirt.

"So we're done for tonight, then?" Sanji asked.

"Yeah," Zoro replied. "We get a week to lick our wounds before the next tourney. That's when the big money starts to come in, but I placed my bets on you when the odds were bad so I'll get a big return."

"Just tell me how much you bet."

"I'd tell you, but you'll squeal like a little girl."

They somehow reached Sanji's car, and Sanji hopped out of Zoro's arms and unlocked the doors.

"Wow, you actually made it on the first try without getting lost."

"S-shut up."

"So, are you going to be alright? Shouldn't we have had Chopper look at those?" Sanji said, pointing at the blood stains on Zoro's shirt.

"Oh damn, blood is a bitch to get out," Zoro grumbled. "Nah, these kinds of things will heal on their own. Just take me back home and I'll sleep it out. I don't have class until Monday, so I can sleep the whole weekend. You, however, are in worse shape than I am. Can you even drive?"

Sanji scoffed, turning on the engine and promptly driving the car into a pole.

The two of them stared at the impressive dent that the pole had made in the hood of the Volkswagen Beetle.

"…" Sanji was speechless.

"I told you that you needed a manly car. A truck wouldn't have been this effed up by a stupid pole. Is that smoke coming out of your engine? Baka…"

"What did you call me?" Sanji snapped half-heartedly as he reversed and began to drive with more composure.

"Ba-ka. Idiot, in Japanese. Or would aho be more appropriate? Kaba-cook?"

"_Merde,"_ Sanji hissed under his breath. "Shut up. Damn, it's going to be a bitch to get that fixed."

As they drove, Sanji tried to keep his eyes on the road without letting them roam more than necessary. He didn't want to see the dilapidated buildings and mounds of trash that he had once lived in during his years as an Earth Sector resident, and was glad when they left the vast prison of Earth Sector for the thrumming streets of Air Sector. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't realized that he had automatically driven to Galley-La.

"Hey, wake up," Sanji said, poking Zoro gently in the face. "This is your stop."

"Zzz…don't touch me there…Robin…"

Sanji drew his hand away as though burned and hissed, "Get the fuck out of my car, you nasty—who dreams about women after a fight? Really?"

Zoro grumbled as he woke up, wiping the drool off of his chin (Sanji noted with disgust that it had dribbled onto the seat as well). "Alright, I'm going…thanks for the ride, cook. I'll see you later." He stumbled out of the car and into the apartment complex, shutting the gate lazily.

Sanji drove off, scowling as he saw the smoke that was beginning to rise from the hood in even thicker clouds.

---

The next day…

"T-ten _thousand_ beri?!" Sanji shrieked as he faced the stony-faced mechanic. "What the hell is up with that price? It's way too much for a little thing like this!"

The enormous mechanic wiped his hands slowly as he looked sympathetically at Sanji. "I'm sorry, sir, but there was internal damage to the engine, and a new hood will have to be ordered from Germany, as will the new engine parts. I can't give you a better price, nor can any other mechanic around here, unless you want them to do a shoddy job."

Sanji ran a hand through his hair as he mentally went over his expenses. "Shit…alright," he said finally, "Ten thousand beri. This had better be a good job you're doing."

"Tilestone! We have a problem with the Audi!" another mechanic called over.

"I'll be right there, Lulu," Tilestone the mechanic yelled back. "If you go to the service counter then you can sign all the paperwork."

Sanji groaned. _There goes my food money for the next couple of…years,_ he thought wearily.

---

Zoro looked at the brooding Sanji over his cup of what Sanji had called 'macchiato' and stated, "You look like shit."

Sanji looked up from where he was scrubbing at a coffee spill and scowled. "What was that?"

"I mean," Zoro corrected himself, "Erm. You look like there's something big on your mind. What's up?"

Sanji sighed. "I really need to win that tournament, Zoro. Ten thousand beri to fix that stupid dent in my hood. Can you believe it? It's…ugh."

Zoro looked up mildly and stirred the cold contents of his cup (he had refused to take more than a single sip). "I see…where did you take it?"

"Uh, this place called Water 7," Sanji replied. "They have a pretty good reputation, and I know that I won't get a better deal anywhere else. Why?"

Zoro stood, leaving his unfinished coffee and a tip on the table. "Eh, just wondering. That's where Franky did his apprenticeship. Air Sector, right? I'll be off. I'll stop by tomorrow morning for breakfast. Later." He left abruptly, leaving Sanji to stare out the door.

_He better not try anything stupid,_ Sanji thought without much hope.

As Zoro walked briskly back to his apartment, he whipped out his cellphone.

"Hey, Franky? I need you and Usopp to meet me back at Galley-La."

---

A few days later…

Sanji swore that he was going to suffer from a heart attack.

"What do you _mean,_ you don't have my car?!"

Tilestone wiped his forehead with the same towel he had been cleaning his hands with, leaving a long oily streak across his face. "We…er, it has been moved. As in, it's not here anymore."

"Well I can see THAT. Where is it? Do you expect me to pay you after—"

Tilestone squirmed uncomfortably. "It has been moved to F. H. Repairs," he said slowly. "The paperwork has all been taken care of, and any payments will be made to them as well." He turned around and began to tinker—rather unnecessarily, in Sanji's opinion—with the engine of a Mazda that had been brought in.

Sanji turned around and ran to catch up to the next bus, cursing his bad fortune.

---

Zoro looked at it and grinned, giving Franky and Usopp the thumbs up.

"How'd you do it so quickly? Normally this sort of job would take at least a week or two, wouldn't it?" Zoro asked, inspecting it.

Franky shrugged. "I just finished my last project and was looking for something to do. And you know Usopp…writers never have anything to do."

"Oi! Shut up, Franky!" Usopp cut in indignantly. "The quality of writing is determined not by how much time but how much soul—"

"Yeah, whatever," Franky said nonchalantly. "You'd still be a better mechanic than a writer."

Usopp was torn between whether to look pleased or insulted.

"And that's not saying much," Franky added.

Usopp decided to look insulted.

Zoro cupped a hand around his ear. "Do you hear that?" Usopp and Franky mimicked his actions by listening carefully.

"_And I swear, if my car isn't running at top condition at the rate I'm expected to pay—"_

"Ah, there she goes," Zoro said with a grin. "The bitchy princess has arrived. Shall we go out and meet her?"

The three of them left the room where they'd been working on it and into the main part of the building, where a furious Sanji was shouting at the poor receptionist.

"Hey bro, stop shouting," Franky said, clapping a hand over Sanji's shoulder. "Nice to see you again, man."

"Franky!" Sanji half-shouted and half-said. "Nice to see you too. Um, what are you guys doing here?"

Franky pointed at the large sign that read _Franky House Repairs._ "This is my domain, man," he said proudly. "I worked hard to get this place running. This is my workshop!"

Sanji stared as it began to dawn on him, and he remembered what Zoro had said.

_Franky did his apprenticeship at Water 7._

"You…"

Franky grinned. "Yeah, Zoro gave me a call here and told me about the situation. I couldn't just let those Water 7 guys take care of something like this, could I? They're swell people, but…yeah, it's better that I took over this case."

"Zoro." Sanji seemed incapable of speaking coherently. "You. Them. Call? Car?"

"And you call _me_ a caveman?" Zoro teased. "Yes. Me call them. Car. You!"

Sanji shook his head. "You guys are insane, you know that."

"Hey, don't say anything until you've seen your ride," Usopp said. "Let's show it to him, guys."

Sanji let himself be led away, although he continued to ask questions.

"Why did you do this?" he asked Zoro. Zoro merely shrugged.

"If you're going to pay ten thousand beri, then you might as well get your money's worth," he said coolly. "Besides, it's the least I could do after seeing you ram into that pole like that. I don't know how else you could've screwed up, but I wasn't going to let you take a chance. Besides, Franky's the best mechanic I know. You should see what he did to Robin's car."

"When did you…oh, you did it Monday, didn't you? After you left." Sanji sighed. "Dude…"

"Here it is," Franky announced. "Your Sanjimobile. The only car of its kind."

"I wanted them to just scrap the car and give you a real ride, but they wouldn't let me," Zoro said gruffly. "So it's still a Volkswagen Beetle."

"It's the coolest mother-effing Beetle you'll ever see though," Usopp said proudly.

Sanji couldn't stop staring.

"What the…?"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I apologize to anyone who likes cars or betting; I know very little about either. Any of the half-professional sounding components are based on the custom BHRIFIC custom 2004 Volkswagen Beetle (I think you can find it on Google. It's green, but it looks nice).

---

"A stratmosphere diverter valve, APR ECU performance upgrade, improved suspension, custom brushed neuspeed underhood billet parts…streamlined body for better aerodynamics, and with a new paint job in midnight blue and true gold hues with robin's-egg blue trim." Franky continued to rattle off terms and additions to the car. "Auto technic trim pieces. Seats updated to suede, and an upgraded surround sound radio system and subwoofer in high definition. New wheels with better traction, and the convertible option has been improved as well for a smoother transition. Tinted interior and exterior lights in shades of blue. A GPS screen that doubles as a screen for the fisheye camera on the trunk for when you go in reverse. Plus, look at this!" Franky jumped into the front seat and eagerly flipped a few switches. Sanji stared in disbelief as parts of the hood and roof slid back to reveal gun barrels and what appeared to be lasers.

"Okay, everything is cool but when the _fuck_ am I going to use a gun while I'm driving?" Sanji said, unable to really believe that this was happening. "Laser beams? Are you fucking kidding me? Is this even legal?"

"Oh, it was just there for fun," Usopp said with a grin. "Who doesn't dream about having a car like Batman? You even have a parachute option! But don't test it out, it only works once…and it's only for the driver's side, so your passengers will be screwed…"

"This is…this is insane," Sanji said as his mouth still hung open. "You…how much is this all going to cost?"

"This?" Franky said in surprise. "Nothing. I can't take your money, bro. I just like knowing that this car will be out there tearing up the road. Can you imagine Tashigi's face when she sees this going down the road at 200 miles per hour?"

"How did you even get all that stuff in there? I know that a Beetle can't take half of the equipment you named," Sanji said in amazement, running a hand down the newly upholstered seats.

"Oh, we can do just about anything," Usopp said proudly. "We could even put wings on this thing and make it fly. We're working on these things called aerocrafts—"

"Shh," Franky hushed him. "We're not supposed to tell anyone, remember?" Usopp quickly shut his mouth. Zoro smirked knowingly.

"Really, though, I can't accept this without paying you somehow," Sanji protested. "Zoro?"

Zoro shrugged. "They really do just do it for the pleasure of making it. Actually, we had a favor to ask…"

"What is it?"

"We're holding a surprise party for Luffy's birthday. It's the fifth of May. Do you think you can cook for him that day? He's been raving about your food since Rain Dinners," Zoro said. "We'd provide any supplies and stuff, but it's a pretty tall order. That kid eats like a monster."

"You're giving me this car and all you want is for me to make a meal?" Sanji demanded incredulously. "…well shit, sounds like a good deal. Alright, then!"

"Well, I should get back to work," Franky yawned as he stretched. "The government'll be on my ass if I'm not tinkering with one of their projects a bit every week. Later, you guys!" Usopp also waved goodbye.

"The keys are in the ignition already, so you just have to drive her out of here," Zoro informed Sanji as he climbed into the passenger's seat. "C'mon, let's go on the highway. I want to hear this baby roar."

"…why are you talking like that?" Sanji asked as he slid into the driver's seat. "You sound like Franky."

"I've been hanging out with them for what, three or four days straight? He's the kind of person who rubs off on you," Zoro grumbled. "The 110 highway should be open right now. Let's check that out."

"Hey, gas isn't cheap, you know."

"Usopp gave you a full tank."

"Well then…let's go."

As the car roared out of the shop and onto the road, Franky and Usopp exchanged knowing looks.

---

"Faster!" Zoro yelled as he stuck his head out the window gleefully. "Woooo!"

"Shut up! You're like a kid," Sanji yelled back over the whistling wind and the roar of the engine. He laughed, though; it was kind of a treat to be able to see Zoro let loose like this.

Suddenly, Zoro started to hack and cough as he pulled his head back into the window.

Sanji tore his gaze from the road for a moment to shout, "Oi! What's wrong?"

Zoro swallowed with difficulty and spat out the window.

"Gnats."

Sanji groaned in disgust. "Ew. Well, we're hitting around ninety on an empty highway. Want to risk going all out?"

"What the hell did you think we were out to do, cook?" Zoro replied impatiently. "Unless you're too scared to, of course…"

"Oh, go to hell," Sanji laughed as he slammed his foot on the gas. Zoro was jerked back into his seat as the car suddenly accelerated.

"Now _this_ is more like it!" Zoro gripped the armrest excitedly as the scenery went by in a blur of green landscape and grey asphalt. Sanji hooted in delight as he saw Zoro's reaction.

They almost reached the car's maximum speed, but Sanji groaned when he heard the faint squeal of a siren and saw a pair of flashing blue lights in the rearview mirror.

"Oh, fuck."

"Do you think we can lose them?" Zoro asked eagerly, clearly looking forward to a highway chase. "I bet we could. This car hasn't even—"

"Stop being a bad influence," Sanji snapped. "I'm pulling over." He slowed down—this took quite a long time—and eventually stopped on the side of the road. Both men stared straight ahead as the officer strode briskly up to the driver's-side and knocked on the window. Sanji rolled it down slowly and said,

"Hello, Offic—Meeellorine~!"

Tashigi blinked as Sanji gazed up at her with fawning eyes. Zoro groaned.

"Hey, Tash. 'Sup."

"Don't ''sup' me, Zoro!" she snapped, waving an accusatory finger at him. "Do you guys know how fast you were going?"

"Uh…about 200 miles per hour, give or take…?" Zoro replied. Sanji snapped out of his fervor and pushed Zoro's face away from the window.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I just got this car and I don't know what got into me…" he said, his eyes downcast as his lower lip trembled. He suddenly looked up with one sparkling blue eye and an innocent expression. Tashigi blinked in surprise before scoffing.

"Zoro got you into this mess, huh," she said slowly, writing on her ticket pad. Sanji nodded, ignoring Zoro's protests in the background. Tashigi sauntered around to the other window and knocked on Zoro's side. Zoro refused to open the window, but Sanji opened it anyways. "For being a bad influence and not respecting an officer, and also because I just feel like it, I'm fining you, Zo-marimo-ro Roronoa, for…" She slid the ticket into his hand, and Zoro sputtered.

"Woman!"

"Have a nice day, and drive safely," Tashigi said with a grin and a wink before walking back to her patrol car and driving off.

Sanji giggled as Zoro scowled at the ticket in his hand. "How much is the ticket? I'll cover it," Sanji said.

Zoro shook his head as he stuffed it into his pocket. "Forget about it. That woman…"

Sanji grinned as he turned the engine back on, humming in pleasure as he listened to the power under the hood. "Now that's what I call a car. Her name was Tashigi, right? She's quite an angel, you know. She helped me out when this stupid gang tried to rob my shop." He laughed. "The guy had this enormous…red…nose…" The memories that had been rubbing the back of his brain ever since he shared his childhood stories with Zoro finally connected, creating a spark. "Oh, _shit."_

"What's wrong?" Zoro asked in alarm as Sanji swerved back onto the road to go back home. "Dude, careful, you have some precious cargo in the car. Me."

"Buggy. I was almost robbed by _Buggy."_

"Who?"

"You remember! The one that I grew up in Water Sector with!" Sanji remembered what Buggy had said as he had held him hostage, when Sanji hadn't known his name.

"_Go back home, you traitorous mud boy!"_

"He called me a traitor. It must have been because I left the group to live with Zeff and then moved to Fire Sector. God, that guy has a long memory," Sanji groaned. "I can't believe he remembered me. I mean, really…"

"So what? He's in jail now." Zoro said this as though all of Sanji's problems were solved now.

"But…he's Buggy! We used to eat together from the same plate, rob the same people, you know! Bonding!"

"What kind of bonding from hell is that?"

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about. I have to go see him." Sanji turned the car around and began to drive towards the police station.

"Uh, no, you don't," Zoro objected. "He obviously knew who you were when he tried to rob you. I doubt he'll take kindly to seeing you again. We have to go to the Silver Fox Tournament again tomorrow night. It won't do if you're all out of form after talking to this guy." Sanji didn't respond as his lips tightened and his eyes hardened.

"No. And you're coming with me."

"Why am I coming with you?"

"First of all, because you dragged me into the Silver Fox Tournament."

"You came _willingly!_ And you can win money, and stuff!"

"Secondly," Sanji continued, "Because…"

"Because?"

"I want to be able to say that I know someone from the Kendo Gang."

"……" Zoro didn't say a word as he stared out the window, stunned into silent disbelief at what he would normally call 'dumbassery.'

---

"Here to pay your ticket already, marimo?" Tashigi teased as she greeted them at the police station.

Zoro scowled. "Don't call me that. Just take us to that clown's cell."

As Tashigi led them to the jailhouse, Sanji whispered to Zoro, "What is that word she's calling you? Marimo?"

"D-don't call me that," Zoro sputtered. "It doesn't mean anything."

Tashigi overheard them and laughed. "Marimo? It's a national treasure in Japan, you know…very precious, indeed."

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "What kind of treasure are we talking about?"

Zoro tried to cover Tashigi's mouth without success. "Oy, don't—"

"It's a kind of moss ball," Tashigi informed Sanji with a wink. "Isn't it fitting? Oh, here we are. Prisoner number thirty-five, 'Buggy the Clown.' Do you want to speak through the bars or go into the cell?"

"I'll go in," Sanji said firmly. Zoro rolled his eyes and nodded as he followed Sanji into the cell.

"I'll be waiting right here, then," Tashigi said as she moved to stand beside the cell door.

Sanji went into the cell and sat on the hard bench, waiting. Zoro chose to stand, leaning against the wall as they watched Buggy. The man was sleeping at the moment, snoozing in some other dreamland where banks were successfully robbed and revenge was easy. They watched in fascination as his red nose—it really _was _red—twitched, as his legs shook once in a while, and as he would grunt and snort in his sleep.

"Should we wake him up?" Zoro asked, already on the move. Sanji shook his head.

"No, he's not very happy when he wakes up," Sanji began, but groaned when Zoro swiftly jabbed Buggy in the ribs.

"Yeowch!" Buggy screeched as he sat bolt upright, glaring at whoever had dared to disturb Master Buggy's sleep. "What kind of bastards—" He stopped speaking and gulped when he saw Zoro glaring at him, flexing his muscles in a not-so-subtle threat.

"Hello, Buggy," Sanji said calmly as he folded his hands. "How've you been?"

Buggy stared in disbelief. "Sanji, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, I thought I'd stop by to visit an old friend who tried to rob me. You know, the usual."

Buggy blanched. "Oh damn…look, Sanji, that day we were just being stupid and—"

"What the hell have you been doing with your life, Buggy?" Sanji growled angrily. "Yeah, sure, when we were kids we didn't know and couldn't do any better. But gang life? Really? You know how short your life expectancy is just by being affiliated?"

Buggy snorted. "Yeah, like you really care. Once you and Nami were done with us you just ditched us to live with that old man. You didn't even try to look for us, did you?"

Sanji opened his mouth, but stopped. "I thought…the police were coming after us. If we didn't see you again we just assumed…"

Buggy pointed to his heavily tattooed face. "You're right. Once I went to juvy I was just dead to you, wasn't I? That's where we really learned what it meant to be in a gang. You have no idea…" His eyes rolled to look at Zoro. "And who's your friend? Another Fire Sector tightass who thinks he's better than everyone else?"

"I don't think I'm better," Zoro informed him. "I know I'm better."

"You're not making the situation any better, _marimo,"_ Sanji snarled. Tashigi chuckled.

"Oh, so he's your butt-buddy then, huh?" Buggy sneered. "How much do you get paid per hour, fa—" Buggy tried to gulp, but found it difficult when Zoro's hand was around his neck.

"Shut up, you fool," Zoro said in a low voice that promised pain and agony; Sanji shivered when he heard it. "The Buggy Gang, huh? Not even a match for a former Kendo Gang member?"

"K-kendo G'ng?" Buggy managed to squeak out. "Sh't…!"

"Zoro," Tashigi said warningly from across the cell. "Don't make me fine you again."

"Tch…!" Zoro released Buggy and resumed his position against the wall, as unperturbed as ever.

Buggy decided that it was in his best interests to shut up concerning Sanji and his sexuality. "So, uh, what are you doing here?" he asked, noticeably more friendly.

Sanji shrugged. "I'm really just here to say hello, and…to apologize. For never having tried to find you. Also…" His leg whipped out, striking Buggy firmly across the jaw. Zoro shook his head; he could tell that Sanji had softened the blow considerably, but Buggy still flew across the tiny cell. "This is for trying to fucking rob me, asshole. And for being bitter about the fact that I made it all the way to Fire Sector. I'll see you in hell." Sanji rose and tapped Tashigi on the shoulder. "I'm done here, love."

"Don't call me 'love' or I'm leaving all three of you in there," Tashigi snorted as she opened the door. "That was interesting to watch."

Zoro and Sanji turned to give Buggy one last glare before leaving. "Say hello to Cabaji and Mohji for me," Sanji said as he left.

"S-say hello to Nami for me, too," Buggy whispered.

---

"So, the second part of the tournament is tomorrow, huh?" Sanji said conversationally as they loaded themselves back in the car. Zoro nodded.

"This time, everyone will be fresh…it's only going to be the best. There will be two rounds. Every year they try something different, but the last round is always between the last two competitors. Last year, I remember they converted the entire stadium into a maze that the audience could see from above, and whoever made it to the center would be part of the last fight. It was pretty brutal."

"Same place, though?"

"Yep."

They rode in silence for a while.

"Want me to take you home?" Sanji asked.

"Actually, I should be getting to work," Zoro said. "I heard Mihawk's back in town. It would be bad if I was late on the day he chose to visit the classes."

Sanji flicked on the turn signal, making his way back to Baroque Works. "So this Mihawk guy…what's he like?"

Zoro rested his chin on his hands as he leaned forward in his seat. "He's an…odd guy. Freakishly strong with a sword, stern with his words and mannerisms, a complete pain in the ass. That's Mihawk in a nutshell."

Sanji laughed. "He must be good, for you to admit that. What does he look like?" He pulled into the Baroque Works parking lot and accompanied Zoro up into the building.

Zoro walked right by the elevators and took the stairs two at a time. "Apparently he's of Spanish nobility or something like that. His family's known for their prowess in battle, and I heard that they even date back to the Inquisition. He's as pale as a vampire, with this uppity moustache and beard that I really want to shave off, it pisses me off so badly. He likes to dress well." Zoro snorted in derision. "The most striking feature is the color of his eyes. They're…not normal. It's like looking into a pool of molten gold. It's fascinating to look at, but if you fall in…"

"It's unusual to hear you speak so poetically, Roronoa," a clipped, cultured voice said as they entered the dojo. "You're actually early to class. How unusual." Sanji looked the speaker up and down and didn't have to ask to know his name, but the man offered it anyway. "I don't believe we've met. My name is Juraquille Mihawk. And you are…?" His hand was held out, and Sanji grasped it for a firm handshake.

"I'm Sanji," he replied, looking at Zoro. _Should I tell him my last name?_ Zoro nodded slightly. "Sanji Baratie." _Wow, those eyes…they're mesmerizing._

Mihawk raised an eyebrow as though he wanted to ask further, but thought the better of it. "It's a pleasure. So, Roronoa, today there is a slight change in schedule. The adult class has been switched to next Monday, and today you will be teaching the youth class again."

"What? Why?" Zoro demanded. "I was looking forward to beating some uppity policemen up!"

Mihawk's nostrils flared. "It has come to my attention that on Monday, you will most likely come to class bloodied and bandaged up. I do not want to traumatize the children."

"Oh…you heard about that, huh," Zoro sighed. "Why didn't you enter the tourney?"

Mihawk shrugged. "I have no idea what you are speaking of. Nevertheless, I expect you to be back in class on time. Blood loss is no excuse. If you do not return, then I will be highly disappointed in you. Understood?" Zoro grumbled. _"Understood?"_

"Yeah, yeah, keep your hair on," Zoro muttered. "I'll be back in one piece."

"Excellent," Mihawk said before turning towards the door. "Have a nice day, you two." After he left, Sanji released the breath he had not known that he was holding and unclenched the fists he hadn't realized he had balled.

"Woah," Sanji wheezed as his chest eased into a more relaxed state. "That guy has got an _incredible_ spirit force."

Zoro shrugged. "You get used to it after a while. I think he was just doing that to show off to you. Are you going to stay?"

Sanji looked at his watch and shook his head. "Nah, I should be getting back. Nurses, you know. They always stop by, like clockwork."

After Sanji had left, Zoro leaned against the wall as he watched his students begin to drift in one by one. He dozed off for a few minutes, dreaming about piercing golden eyes that gave way to a single, startlingly blue iris.

As Sanji got into his car, he breathed in deeply, not realizing that he was savoring the scent of steel and harsh soap left behind by his passenger.

---

_Bright lights. The scent of polished weaponry, testosterone and confidence. Cheering crowds in the background. The sound…of flapping cloth, softly padding feet, soft breaths and clanking blades._

"Welcome to the final round of this year's Silver Fox Tournaments!"

…_and one annoying as hell announcer._

The small group of remaining competitors faced each other in a circle, waiting for Foxy to announce what tonight's challenge would be. Sanji glanced over to where Zoro was actually yawning in boredom.

"How can you be yawning?" Sanji hissed out of the corner of his mouth. "There are cameras pointed at us from all directions!"

Zoro shrugged, yawning pointedly in his direction.

"And now, for tonight's challenge! The theme today is 'The Coliseum!' Let the games begin!" Foxy's voice boomed over the speakers, and Sanji looked around in alarm as the stadium shook. The floor was splitting into eight triangular segments as the iron cages around the walls were being erected, forcing the fighters to jump down onto a dirt surface. Sanji dusted himself off and saw that they were in a recessed circle reminiscent of the ancient Roman styles.

The fighters all stood and stared blankly at one another.

A cricket could be heard, chirping faintly in the background.

"O-oy, fight each other!" Foxy demanded.

"Explain the theme next time, idiot," Zoro grumbled as he drew his swords. "What, are you waiting for me to slaughter you? It'll happen eventually, so I guess you're smart if you're just giving up now." The other fighters snarled, and Sanji groaned as everyone immediately drew their weapons or took fighting stances.

"Just had to goad them didn't you?" he moaned as he moved to stand back-to-back to Zoro. "So, how are we doing this? Going solo or teaming up to beat these guys?"

"Don't hold me back, cook," Zoro said with a grin as they slowly circled to the center of the stage. The other fighters seemed to take this as their cue to form a loose circle around the two. "Excellent…just as I had planned."

Sanji gulped as he saw Don Krieg slipping a pair of—"Oh shit those are brass knuckles you fucking idiot I hate you Zoro"—on his hands and grinning. "Zoro, you _wanted_ us to be stuck in the middle of all these guys? Why?"

"It's more fun that way. Plus…we're in the spotlight, aren't we?" Zoro laughed as the first man ran forward. "If this doesn't get you into the Letters, then nothing will. Oh, here comes the first opponent. _Karasuma Gari!"_ His swords whirled in a move that sent the first man flying back, and Zoro scoffed. "See? Weak, all of them."

"Don't be so arrogant, Roronoa," one of the other men snarled. _Daz Bones,_ Sanji thought to himself. "I know your style."

"Yeah, but you don't know his," Zoro said as he pointed at Sanji. "Ready? Let's show 'em what we got."

"Krieg! Come to me!" Daz shouted, and Don Krieg moved so that he and Daz were facing each other on either side of Zoro and Sanji. Sanji kicked Krieg, but was blocked by a massive forearm. As they exchanged blows, Sanji felt a thrill run up his spine and through his body as his legs flew through the air. The other fighters seemed to have broken off, but the main focus of the audience was on the fight in the middle. Sanji felt a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he moved. This smile was torn off his face by the heavy elbow that collided with his ribs.

"Urgh…Marimo, Lazy Susan style!"** Sanji shouted as he threw his back into Zoro's and linked arms with him. "Ready?"

Zoro's eyes widened. "Lazy Susan? Oh shit, you're not talking about…you are?…fine." He held his swords firmly and cried, "108 Pound Hou!" His swords sliced through the air and ate away at Daz's defense. As he finished his attack, he surged forward and Sanji flew through the air, his legs milling downward. Daz looked up in surprise, and Sanji's foot hit him squarely between the eyes.

"One down…" Zoro hissed as he spun around. "Oni Giri!"

"Mouton Shoot!"

"Two down," Zoro laughed as Don Krieg fell. "Hell, yes." They let go of one another and looked around. The only man left standing was staring at them, his eyes wide as he looked back and forth for an escape. "One left."

"P-please, I forfeit!"

"Too late," Sanji sighed as Zoro sheathed his swords. The man fell; dark bruises were already forming where the dull ends of Zoro's blades had struck him.

"Well, this is an interesting turn of events!" Foxy yelling into the microphone. "The most and least favored contenders in this year's tournament are facing off! The final match is Zoro versus Sanji! Men, begin!"

"See? I told you this would work out just fine," Zoro said with a shrewd smile as he and Sanji circled around one another.

"Sorry Zoro, but you'll be losing that bet. I'm not taking second place," Sanji scoffed.

They stopped moving as they stared at one another.

Two pairs of feet tapped the earth quickly as they sprang forth and began to fight.

"Now this is exciting!" Foxy screeched. "Look at those moves! The speed, the force! The very ground is trembling!"

Sanji laughed. "Marimo, you're slower than I had anticipated." He clipped Zoro across the chin, and Zoro flipped backwards to ease the blow and gain time.

"Ah, looks like I'll have to get serious," Zoro said with a grin as he put his swords away.

"What are you doing?" Sanji asked incredulously. Zoro reached for a black cloth that was wrapped around his bicep—one that Sanji had not seen him wearing the previous week. "A bandana?"

Zoro tied the cloth around his head, and Sanji felt a chill go through his body as he saw those obsidian eyes looking at him from under the dark cloth. "Hey, cook." Sanji blinked, and Zoro was suddenly in his face, swords flashing in the light.

"Shit…!" _He's fast!_

"Guess how much I bet on you."

"Oh, that's playing dirty—"

Zoro surged forward, and whispered into his ear. Sanji's eyes widened as his face turned white upon hearing those words and feeling the soft puff of air passing Zoro's lips.

"_One million beri."_

Sanji squealed like a little girl.

"I told you you'd squeal."

Zoro took the opportunity to strike him in the chest and topple him over. Sanji gasped and found himself on his knees, with two blades tickling his throat and another pointed straight at his forehead.

"Looks like I have to forfeit," Sanji sighed, but was stopped when Zoro shouted at Foxy.

"Are you waiting for me to kill him? Declare the winner!"

Foxy sputtered, but obeyed when Zoro glared at him. "W-winner—Zoro Roronoa!" He hopped out of his commentator's box and began to run to the stadium, bearing a trophy.

Sanji sucked in a breath as Zoro suddenly withdrew his blades and held out his hand. Sanji grabbed it, still dazed.

"This battle won't go on our personal tallies," Zoro murmured for Sanji's ears alone. "It was not a fair and honorable battle. We will settle this another time, but I did not want you to have to admit defeat." He released Sanji's hand when the chef was standing and turned away, walking towards the exit.

"One…million beri," Sanji gasped. He was still in shock and hadn't even fully registered what had happened. Zoro grinned as he accepted his trophy from Foxy and turned around.

"Actually, your odds were eighty to one. So…"

Zoro laughed heartily as he left the stadium, leaving Sanji in the middle of the stadium frozen in disbelief.

---

"See, Mihawk, no injuries at all!" Zoro said proudly as he pounded his chest. "Not a single scratch or bruise. Plus I'm a good deal richer. I love betting on these titles."

Mihawk glared at Zoro over the rim of his cup; the two of them were sitting in the Paris Baguette, and Mihawk was drinking cappuccino while Zoro was taking sips from a flask he had brought.

"I was at the fight, Roronoa," Mihawk said waspishly. "I'm well aware of what transpired last night. You teamed up with Baratie. A bold move, but not one that will win you the title that you desire."

Zoro snorted. "You weren't fighting, so I knew I wasn't going to get it anyway. I wanted to make sure he made a good impression, and it would be more impressive if he was affiliated with me."

"How arrogant of you."

"It's true, though," Zoro insisted. "C'mon, you know that the Alpha spot for Savate is virtually empty since they're just using Bon's name as a placeholder. He's _there_, they just need to see him showcase his talent!"

"One Silver Fox Tournament will not change his position," Mihawk said calmly. He nibbled on a biscuit, and Zoro decided not to tell him about the crumbs dusting his moustache.

"It might. You never know," Zoro said obstinately. "Oy, curly-brow! Gimme one of those pie things!"

"It's called a quiche, moron, a QUICHE!" Sanji yelled back. "And I'm helping a customer! Wait a goddamn minute! I'm sorry, mademoiselle, that you had to hear such awful obscenities," he cooed to the girl who appeared to be a University student. "You wanted a mocha frappuccino with extra whipped cream, correct? Here, darling. Oh, the chocolate sprinkles are on me."

Zoro grinned. "Ah, he's so easy to goad. I love this fool."

Mihawk raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

Zoro coughed on his drink, banging his chest to clear his lungs. "Oh, Mihawk, you know what I'm talking about. Don't you have man-love for your buddies?"

"You are beginning to sound disturbingly like Kurei."

Zoro choked again and found himself being pounded on the back by Sanji. He held a plate with a slice of quiche balanced on one hand. "Problems, marimo? Here. Your quiche. I'll put it on your tab."

"You're keeping a tab?" Zoro managed to wheeze.

Sanji scowled as he returned to the counter. "Of course. You just won eighty million beri on me, you can afford to pay for all the food I'm giving you."

Mihawk glanced at Zoro in surprise. "What on earth did you do, Roronoa?"

"Oh, just bet one million on him."

"Even for a man of your affluence, that was a risky amount to bet."

"The odds were eighty to one."

"…ah."

"Yeah. I'm going to slip it to him little by little. I picked the 'special prize' for first place along with the fifty grand, but it just turned out to be a free pass for two to the VIP lounge at Cipher Pol," Zoro said as he jammed a fork into the quiche and stuck a chunk into his mouth. "Mmmpf, delicious."

"Then you can afford to pick up my bill as well. Baratie! Put this on his tab!"

"Will do, Mr. Mihawk," Sanji said cheerfully.

"H-hey! Wait!" Zoro yelled after Mihawk's back as his boss left the café. "What did I do to deserve this…oh, wait, yeah. Earn a fortune through betting." _God must be punishing me_, he thought sarcastically. He waited, watching the morning rush slowly settle down to a trickle, and finally come to a stop.

"Ah, it's good to sit down," Sanji sighed as he slid into the seat across from Zoro. "No work today?"

"It's a Sunday. Sometimes I have private classes, but not always," Zoro said. "Besides, I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

"The money I won. I want you to have it. Well, minus what you're charging me for this stupid quiche and Mihawk's food and the original one million I bet."

Sanji stood abruptly; the chair fell over as he pushed it back roughly, glaring down at Zoro with an eye burning with anger. "No. I won't accept your charity."

"Look," Zoro said slowly. "I didn't win this. You were the one who enabled this. It's only fair that you get your cut of the profits."

"You're the one who placed the bet on me," Sanji shot back. "Also, you're the one who used that dirty trick to make sure that you won the money. Keep it, Zoro."

Zoro sighed. "You're so stubborn. This is your money, you idiot." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Hm, I gotta go meet with the girls to plan Luffy's party. Want to come?"

Sanji looked around at the empty café and shrugged. "Sure."

"Are we taking your car?" Zoro asked excitedly as Sanji locked up. Sanji only rolled his eyes as he pulled out his keys and opened the doors.

"Don't you remember the days when you used to hate riding this 'girly' car?" Sanji asked sourly as he warmed up the engine. Zoro stuck his tongue out and pulled his nose up with his thumb, making a grotesque face. "Oh, really mature."

"That was before you got this sweet ride," Zoro explained. "Now it's not embarrassing to ride around in this thing. Didn't you see the spoiler? You'd actually _need_ a spoiler for all the crazy shit that this car can pull off!" Sanji merely shook his head as he pulled onto the street.

"So, where are we going?"

"Robin's house. I'll show you the way."

"Oh, we're _definitely_ going to get lost now."

---

"This is Robin's house?"

"Obviously, since I _just said_ that I was taking you to Robin's house. Actually, Robin is code for Luffy is code for Franky…"

"Oh, shut up. It's a nicer house than I had expected, even for a University professor." Sanji gazed at the large brick house set in the middle of the upper-class urban streets of Navarone. A neatly-tended lawn, crawling ivy, and smooth gravel driveway all indicated that Robin spent a good amount of time taking care of her property or hiring other people to keep it presentable. They rang the doorbell and waited as the soft chimes faded away and Robin opened the door. She blinked in surprise, holding a bathrobe firmly shut around her shapely waist and a towel falling from her slick, wet hair. Sanji and Zoro stared at her as she stared back; the two men couldn't help but take in the fuzzy slippers she wore, or the slim legs that were visible from under the bathrobe and the slight valley visible that indicated the voluptuous curve of her breasts. "A-ah…h-h-hello, mademoiselle," Sanji stuttered as Zoro blinked and shook his head.

"Hey Robin, are we early?" Zoro asked. "Everyone's meeting here to plan Luffy's party today, right?"

Robin began to laugh. "Zoro, you're three hours early. Come in, you two, I'll get you guys a cup of coffee." They followed her into the house, scuffing off their shoes and donning the slippers that she offered then.

"Hey Robin, who was…that…" a voice called from the hallway. Sanji and Zoro both stared, yet again, at the person waiting for them. Franky rubbed his wet hair sheepishly as he adjusted the towel around his waist, wearing a pair of fuzzy slippers that was identical to Robin's. "Oh, uh, hey you guys. Aren't you a little early?" A faint blush was present all around.

The two other men decided not to ask any awkward questions. "Oh, we got the times mixed up," Zoro said nonchalantly as he pointedly looked in the other direction. "I know where your kitchen is, Robin. We'll wait there."

Robin smiled mirthfully. "Oh, and could you call everyone else? They might as well come now, too."

"Sure, no problem."

As Robin and Franky vanished up the stairs, Zoro could have sworn that he heard her murmur into Franky's ear about 'massage oil' and 'next time.'

"Oh my gosh!" Sanji whispered hoarsely to Zoro as the green-haired man rummaged in the cupboards for two mugs and poured the coffee. "Robin! And Franky! That's so weird!"

Zoro shrugged, his eyes fixed on the cupboard whose handle he grasped tightly in one hand. "Cream? Sugar?"

"Sure. Where is it?" Sanji accepted the condiments and sat at the rectangular wooden table, taking in the kitchen's furnishings. It was simple, but showed signs of sophistication: the dark wood, steel, and granite tiles created a cool feeling that was contrasted by the creamy walls. Sanji looked at the stained-wood table and was astonished to see the word _Franky_ carved in tiny letters along the side of the table.

"Oh, that's new," Zoro said in surprise. "Looks like Franky's work. He's got a distinctive style."

"How do you know where everything is? With your sense of direction…" Sanji asked, running one hand along the table; it was very well-made, and felt solid but looked delicate. There were carvings of birds and flowers etched into the wood with details so fine that it looked as though they had been made with a wire-thin knife. He smiled wryly when he recognized the intricate carving of a robin gracing the center of the table.

"It took me a few years, but I got it all figured out," Zoro grunted as he sat with his steaming mug held firmly in one hand.

Sanji choked on his coffee. "A—a few _years?"_ he hacked. "How long were you two going out?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "You idiot, I was her friend for a long time before getting together with her. She…I tried to steal from her, when I was getting my money for my plane ticket."

"From Robin? How could you?"

"She looked rich, and she was a woman. They're generally easier targets than men, for varying reasons. I got kind of a bad vibe—she felt too cunning—but I decided to do it anyways, when I saw her clothes and her car. You know how it feels, right? To assess someone for the value of what possessions you can steal and sell." Sanji nodded; he knew the feeling very well. "Well, she caught me somehow, which was weird because it was one of the most smoothly conducted heists I had ever pulled while going solo. Then, she invited me into her house, and we talked, and she…paid the rest of my way. Otherwise, it would've taken me ages to save up."

"Why would she do that?" Sanji asked incredulously. "I'd have killed you."

Zoro sipped his coffee thoughtfully. "She said there was something in my eyes that reminded her of someone she knew a long time ago…and that she was impressed with my passion." Sanji looked into Zoro's eyes and could tell that he was reliving a moment that was as fresh in his memory as though it had just happened. "I remember when Mihawk first signed me up for my University classes, she was a part-time professor. That was an interesting semester. She was so beautiful…still is, in fact." His jaw was tight, and his eyes were unfocused. Sanji held his cup firmly to keep his hands from shaking; this was a side of Zoro that he had not had the opportunity to witness, and was afraid to break the mood by speaking. Suddenly, Zoro pulled his cellphone out and began to quickly punch in numbers. "I'm going to call the others. Want to help?"

Sanji nodded as he pulled his own cell out. For a fleeting moment, he had felt…

_I want to…_

"Here's Ace's number, and Chopper's…" Zoro scrawled the numbers quickly on a piece of paper, not noticing Sanji's detached state. He took in the seemingly permanent frown on Zoro's face, the downward-curving eyes that indicated a constant displeasure, the stern slant of his mouth, the grace with which he moved that countered the rippling of his muscles…

…_find something beautiful for him._

---

** A Lazy Susan is that revolving tabletop thing you see in Chinese restaurants. So basically yeah, a helping of Zoro with a ladle full of Sanji and two bowls of kickass.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I had wanted to update this on Luffy's birthday (May 5) because it would be so fitting, right? But…things got in the way…sigh. Sorry for the late update, and I hope you enjoy!

---

"So basically, all you need to keep Luffy happy is meat?" Sanji looked skeptically at Ace as they sat in Robin's kitchen; Sanji had a list in his hand, and so far the only thing on there was 'meat,' underlined and circled numerous times.

Ace nodded, laughing. "He's pretty easy to please. I used to have the greatest time throwing canned food at him and watching him try to open them. There is no such thing as 'bad food' to him, but his favorite is usually just plain steak or chicken legs. But for everyone else…you'll have to ask them. Robin might be able to help. Robin!" He waved the other woman over.

"Yes?" she asked politely. Sanji's face burned crimson when she walked closer.

"I need a list of the foods that should be served," Sanji explained as Ace left them. "So far, all I have is meat."

Robin chuckled. "So Luffy is covered, then? How about a cold fusilli pasta salad, cucumber salad with sesame dressing…" She took the pen and paper from him and began to write the details on the pad in smooth and graceful penmanship. "Enough for twenty people."

"T-twenty?" Sanji asked in surprise. "But only half as many people are coming."

Robin arched one eyebrow at him. "Sanji, Luffy has an appetite that nearly ruined Rain Dinners when he first learned about buffets. Twenty is a conservative estimate."

Sanji looked at the list of menu items on his list and shuddered in excitement at the impending challenge. "Where is this going to be held?" he asked as he began to mentally prepare for the task.

"Good question. Galley-La would be the most logical choice in terms of location, but not in terms of practicality. Therefore, Vivi has agreed to host it. You ought to speak with her concerning the cooking arrangements." She pulled him over to where Vivi was talking to Franky and Usopp about decorations. "I'll take over from here, Vivi. Sanji needs to know about the cooking situation."

"Ah!" Vivi exclaimed excitedly. "Okay Sanji, I'm not sure about what kind of kitchen you're used to working around, so I'll take you to my house and I'll have Terracotta show you around, okay?" She beamed prettily at him, and his heart melted.

Sanji nodded, feeling a little overwhelmed by her bubbly nature. _Ah, so cute!_

---

_Okay, I knew Vivi was rich._

They all stood on the circular driveway in front of Vivi's house; they had decided to all come in order to properly plan the surprise.

_But this is a freaking _mansion.

They were ushered through the doors by a butler who led Sanji to the kitchens as the others stayed in the main hall to plan.

_And this kitchen is as large as the woman commanding it._

Terracotta looked down at Sanji with a wide smile. "Hello! My name is Terracotta. You are Vivi's friend, correct? It's a pleasure to be able to show you around. Any ingredients you see here are available for your use, and Miss Vivi has set apart part of our own ingredient funds aside for your use." As she led him through the kitchens, Sanji couldn't stop staring.

_Have I died and gone to heaven?_

_---_

Zoro sat in his apartment, moodily swirling a bit of beer that he had spilled. Everyone was at Vivi's house and he had opted to go back home, but upon arrival he had realized that he had absolutely nothing to do. "No classes until tomorrow…maybe I'll go to the Paris Ba—" He stopped himself, realizing that Sanji would not be at the café today. "I guess I'll train or nap."

He sat drinking the beer and eating a piece of flatbread that Sanji had bought on the couch Sanji had picked out in the apartment whose entire contents had been picked out by _Sanji._ He pushed his food and drink aside and trotted to his bedroom for a nap, only to find that his soft orthopedic mattress that embraced every line of his body, bedframe, and dark sheets all shouted _SANJI._

He ran out the door, running wherever his feet took him.

He stopped, leaning against the wall, panting far more harshly than he should have been for the level of exertion he had put into his run.

Zoro looked up and saw that he was standing in front of the Paris Baguette.

"Argh," he growled inarticulately as he clutched his head to keep him from banging it into the brick walls. "I'm going to Baroque Works." He trotted off, thinking of the many ways he would distract himself with his training. When he arrived at the building, he found himself face-to-face with a badly bruised Daz Bones, who smiled unpleasantly as he regarded Zoro with hostile eyes. Zoro couldn't help but smirk at the shoe-shaped imprint on his forehead.

"Hello, Zoro," Daz said coolly. "Care to spar a bit?"

"Hey Daz," Zoro smirked. "I don't know, are you in good condition today?" Daz's snarling face suggested that he was in fine health, or great pain. "Oh, all right. My dojo or yours?"

"Mine. C'mon, let's go." They climbed the stairs to Daz's studio and stretched a little, regarding one another with suspicious eyes. "Ready?"

"For you? Anytime."

Daz roared as he charged at Zoro with the force of a bull and the cunning of a snake. Zoro grabbed his arms and flipped him, but Daz kept a firm grip on Zoro and took him down with him.

An hour later, Bon found the two of them on the floor, panting wearily and drenched in sweat.

"If I had known you two would be scuffling around on the floor today, I would have joined in," Bon pouted. "Well, here I come!" He performed a running leap, and both Zoro and Daz looked at the soaring okama with growing dread.

"O-oy, Bon, wait a second—oof!"

"You damned transvestite, get off—_stop touching me there!"_

They all grappled with one another for a few exhausting minutes until a slight coughing sound made them all freeze and look at the doorway.

"Perhaps I should expand your teaching brackets," Mihawk said dourly as he glared at his three most prestigious teachers. "If you three have time to engage in this sort of tomfoolery, then you can handle more work for the rates I'm paying you." He turned around and left without another word.

The three men untangled themselves, rubbing sore limbs and purpling bruises (and pinched asses). Zoro felt much better, and didn't even remember the blond-haired and blue-eyed cause for his previous tension.

---

Zoro didn't get much peace from his workout; two days later, Sanji called as Zoro was leaving work.

"_Hey marimo, it's Sanji. You busy?"_

Zoro stared at the phone for a moment as he felt increasingly disturbed—by what, he couldn't say. "I'm free. What's up? Stop calling me marimo, by the way."

Sanji chuckled, and Zoro reflected on how it was kind of a pleasant sound. _"I need to go grocery shopping for food for the party. Terracotta offered the supplies from the Nefertari household, but I'd prefer to get it myself."_

"More shopping?" Zoro groaned. "Why do you need me there?"

"_I need a pack mule."_

"Bastard…" Zoro muttered. "Oh, what the hell. I'm in front of Baroque Works. Come pick me up."

"_Score! I'll see you in a few minutes."_

Zoro leaned against the wall as he hung up, wondering…_What the hell is wrong with me?_ By the time Sanji arrived, Zoro's thumping heart had slowed down to a steady beat, but was jolted back into erratic action upon seeing that bright smile through the window of the Beetle.

---

Zoro was beginning to remember why he had been hesitant to go shopping with Sanji in the first place.

"…so we'll need some garlic powder, and crushed garlic—it brings out a stronger flavor in meats—with some of these large cucumbers. No, idiot, the smaller ones are for pickling, can't you tell?...that's zucchini, marimo. Not even the same plant. You'd think you'd know your own brethren better than this…the steaks? Cold meats and frozen food are always bought last to decrease any possible spoiling. No, don't grab any bread, I'll bake it fresh on the day of." Sanji dragged Zoro through the aisles of the farmer's market.

"Why couldn't we have just gone to a normal market?" Zoro grumbled as he carried a basket of produce that was getting heavier with each stop. Sanji stopped, holding a lemon in one hand and a grapefruit in the other, looking astonished.

"For a special occasion like this, the farmers selling their produce out here have the freshest and—oh my gosh!" Sanji dropped the citrus fruits in his hands and squeezed through the gap between two booths to gently pick up a couple of small, round red fruits in his hands. "Mister, how'd you get lychees at this time of year?" He sniffed them appreciatively. "They smell fresh, too." The weathered old man winked at them, beckoning Sanji closer.

"I've got a greenhouse for tropical fruit like this," he whispered to Sanji. Zoro finally squeezed through the tiny gap after Sanji just in time to see Sanji holding a hefty bag of the delicate fruit towards him after having paid the man. Zoro groaned as he took the bag and slipped it into a protected compartment of the bag.

"Cook, where did you get a pack like this, anyway?" Zoro grumbled. "There are compartments for everything on this."

Sanji looked up as he gently squeezed a few avocados. "Oh, that? Look." He pointed to the front of the market, where stacks of the same kinds of baskets were being held. Zoro noticed that the baskets were mainly being carried by large dogs as pack animals. Before he could dwell too much on the fact that he was literally a pack animal, Sanji dragged him off in another direction.

"Look! Plantains!"

As Zoro allowed himself to be ordered around he thought _At least I'll be prepared for married life._

---

"Are we done yet?" Zoro asked, painstakingly making sure to prevent any trace of a whine out of his voice. He was not successful.

"No, you big baby," Sanji said. "We need to go to the deli now, and then to the supermarket for milk, eggs, chocolate…but first I need to drop this all off at Vivi's house."

Zoro felt like the day couldn't get any worse.

---

As it turned out, it could.

"Why don't you tell me," Zoro asked flatly, "why I'm standing in this kitchen with you, holding a big-ass mallet, staring at a hunk of _beef."_

"I told you. You're going to tenderize the meat for me."

"Since when?"

"Do you want food poisoning or not? It can be arranged."

"…Fine. What do I do?"

Sanji took the heavy mallet from him and showed him what to do. "Okay, first you flatten it like so." Sanji struck the meat with enough force to make the table shake, and Zoro stared in surprise at the power that Sanji's thin arms held. "Oh, wait, we can't start yet." Sanji looked around and pulled two aprons from a cupboard. "Here. Put this on."

"I'm not wearing an apron."

"Yes, you are."

"No."

"Yes. Terracotta?"

Zoro jumped in surprise as two burly arms roughly tied the apron around his waist from behind, securing it with a knot that would have taken ages to untie. "If you try and forcibly remove this, then you will have Miss Vivi to answer to," Terracotta said sweetly, patting him on the behind. Zoro jumped forward again, looking at her suspiciously.

"Yeah, like I'm scared of Vivi," Zoro said sarcastically as he seized a knife from a rack and made to cut off the apron.

"You know, Vivi and Robin look like pretty good friends," Sanji said offhandedly as he studied the hunk of meat on the table. "Just saying."

Zoro kept the apron on, and sullenly pounded the meat without another word.

"After you're done with that, I'll need you to wash and peel these potatoes."

The poor meat never stood a chance.

---

After Zoro had finished helping Sanji with what the chef called 'menial labor for a Neanderthal,' Zoro met up with the others to put the final touches on the party. He found them in the main hall, and everyone wore rather anxious and worried faces. When they saw him, though, their faces brightened up and Zoro knew that he wouldn't like whatever they were going to say.

"As I was saying," Usopp said loudly, "We'll need someone to distract Luffy long enough so he doesn't question why any of us are unavailable and to take him here. It's a task that I would normally bear the burden of, knowing how difficult it is, but Franky and I will be here setting up the sound systems and lighting…" Franky nodded in agreement. "So, we need someone else to do it."

"I have to go back to work until 6:00," Chopper said. "I can't do it." _Quite frankly, he looks relieved…and for good reason_, Zoro thought.

"Vivi and I need to stay here to coordinate everything," Robin said with a slight smile.

Zoro looked around at the widely smiling faces closing in on him. "Oh, _hell_ no, I am not babysitting Luffy while—Ace, what are you doing? He's your brother, so…"

"No can do, buddy," Ace said with a wicked smile. "Apartment inspectors are coming over today to check the gas and water lines. It's a shame, but I have to be there, since Luffy doesn't even know where the control boxes are."

"You'll do it, right? Isn't Luffy your _friend?"_ Usopp said with a devious smile that made Zoro want to punch his face in. _Shit._

Well, today was definitely going on his list of 'WTF went wrong' days.

"It's only for a few hours, Zoro," Robin said sympathetically. "As a matter of fact, you should go and intercept him now." She pushed him gently towards the door. "Have fun!"

As the door slammed shut behind him, Zoro swore that he could hear them patting each other on the back.

---

"Naa, Zoro~"

"What, Luffy."

"I'm tired of playing Halo."

"You always want to play, though."

"But it's no fun when the others aren't here. You just sit there and grunt when I shoot you in the head."

"You only did that _once,_ Luf."

"No! There was that time from the cliff!"

"…just be quiet and play, Luffy."

"No, I'm gonna call Usopp. I bet he'll have something fun to do."

"Wait!" Zoro leapt and bodily intercepted Luffy's attempt to pick up the phone. They were sitting in Zoro's apartment, and Zoro kept glancing back at the clock as the hours crawled by. _Shit, I met up with this kid at 2 and the party is at 6. Only…two hours left._ "Say, do you want to go to the zoo? They have that monkey exhibit…" _Please,_ Zoro thought desperately.

Luffy's face brightened up. "Yeah! Let's go!"

---

The zoo was a bad idea.

"It's time to go, Luffy."

Luffy stuck his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout as he clung to the fence, staring at the monkeys in the enclosure who stared right back at him. "_Nooo!_ I want to stay and watch the monkeys!" He wrapped his arms more firmly around the wooden posts, and Zoro groaned at the stares they were attracting.

Zoro looked at his watch; six o'clock already. "Luffy," he said through gritted teeth, "It's time to go. Now."

Luffy planted his feet firmly on the ground. "Zoro. No."

It was a deadly standoff. The wind blew by dramatically, and even the children visiting the zoo clutched their mothers in fear.

"Raaah!" Zoro roared, leaping forward and trying to pin Luffy by the legs. As quickly as greased lightning, Luffy jumped over his arms and began to run in the opposite direction.

"Shishishi, too slow, Zoro!" Luffy cackled. "I'm going to go see the pandas!"

Zoro swore violently and glanced at the nearest map. _Shit, the panda exhibit is on the other side of the zoo!_

---

Six thirty.

A merry jingling sound told Zoro that the others were worrying about his absence.

"_Zoro! Where are you?"_

"_It's already six-thirty!"_

"_Did you get lost?"_

Evidently, they had decided that using speakerphone would efficiently allow them all to yell at him at the same time.

Zoro scowled at the phone in his hand as he ran after Luffy's elusive form. "Ha…ha…" he panted. "I'm…chasing…your stupid brother, Ace…Luffy! Not the…reptile exhibit…"

"_You poor fool. You thought that four hours would be enough time to take Luffy to the zoo?"_ Ace's voice clearly indicated that he was none too impressed with Zoro's reasoning.

"Shut up! I just need to catch him and—goddamnit, where is that little bugger? There! I'll see you guys later!"

---

Seven o'clock.

A bedraggled Zoro dragged a whining Luffy from the bus stop to Vivi's house. Every step of the way was a battle.

Zoro jammed his thumb into the doorbell more forcefully than necessary, and a cracking sound told him that he had done permanent damage; whether it was to his thumb or the doorbell, he wasn't sure.

"Get in, you idiot," Zoro muttered under his breath as he threw Luffy through the opening door.

"Eh? It's dark in here!" Luffy squeaked.

"SURPRISE!" The lights went on in a blinding flash of colors, and Luffy blinked owlishly as his friends all seemed to materialize out of nowhere and greeted him. A wave of balloons, confetti, and streamers flew through the air as the men all took Luffy up on their shoulders and paraded him around, yelling, "Happy 18th Birthday!"

"Waaah!" Luffy squealed excitedly as he clapped his hands. "A surprise party! You guys are the best!" He cheered as they paraded him around, and Zoro watched wearily as he leaned against a pillar, closing the door with one foot. Somehow, the click of the door was audible over the cheering and music, and everyone froze.

"Presents?" Usopp suggested.

"Presents! Yay!" Luffy cried, and the momentary awkward silence was bypassed as they all paraded into another room. Robin hung behind (obviously, the whole 'let's carry Luffy on our shoulders' thing was not for her to engage in) and smiled at Zoro.

"Tough day?" she asked sweetly. Zoro scowled at her.

"You're all evil, did you know that?" he grumbled as he followed the others. She walked with him, lightly brushing his shoulder with one fingertip as she went into the room ahead of him.

Zoro found himself in what appeared to be a drawing room. The plush chairs and tables had all been arranged in a circular orientation around a large mahogany table laden with gifts of all shapes and sizes. Luffy was already sitting impatiently, jiggling his leg as he waited. "Zoro, Zoro! Hurry up, they said they won't let me open anything until everyone's here!"

Zoro sat down between Chopper and Vivi, looking around. "Where's the cook?" he asked.

"Still in the kitchens," Chopper replied. "He said that he'll see us when dinner starts." Zoro nodded, quelling his inexplicable disappointment; he had already seen Sanji earlier that day, after all, and had seen the mountain of ingredients that were to be cooked.

Luffy grabbed the first box and shook it slightly, listening carefully as a doctor would listen to a patient's heartbeat with a stethoscope. "That's my gift," Chopper whispered to Zoro.

The way he tore through the wrapping paper, however, was only reminiscent of that metaphor if the doctor chose to rip through his examinee's ribcage after being unable to discern a heartbeat.

"Waaah, a fishing rod!" Luffy exclaimed excitedly as he brandished his gift—nearly poking several bystanders in the eye—and leapt up to wrap his arms around Chopper. "You're the best, Chopper! Let's go fishing this weekend, neh?"

"S-shut up, bastard, that doesn't make me happy!" Chopper protested as he blushed and returned the embrace.

"C'mon, Luf, open up the other ones," Ace urged as he nudged Luffy in the ribs. "There's a really big box right here."

Luffy's eager examination of the boxes led him to discover the other gifts he had received: the (rather traumatized) stag beetle in a glass container from Usopp; a stack of comic books from Robin; a remote-controlled caravel from Vivi ("We can sail it when we go fishing!" he squealed); the keys to his repaired—and now upgraded—Nissan from Ace and Franky; the Halo 3 expansion pack from Zoro ("More Halo, Zoro?")…

The opening of gifts was interrupted by the soft chimes of the doorbell. "Who's that?" Luffy asked curiously, halfway through revealing the solid block of chocolate from Tashigi that was as big as his head.

"I'll go check," Zoro said, rising and going to the greeting hall. He was surprised to see Sanji walking towards the door as well, his apron covered with sauces and flour. "I got it, man."

Sanji shook his head. "I'll get this. Nami just texted me."

Zoro blanked out for a moment before remembering who that was. "Nami? The one with the red hair?"

Sanji nodded dreamily as he opened the door. "Robin said that I could bring a friend along, and I wanted to introduce her to the others. Nami! It's wonderful to see you!"

Nami rolled her eyes as she stepped into the hall. "We just saw each other this morning when I came for my coffee, Sanji. Wow, your friends are _loaded,"_ she gasped as she looked around. She caught sight of Zoro and raised an eyebrow. "Is this your house…Zoro, right?"

Zoro shook his head. "Nah, it's Vivi's house. C'mon, let's go meet them. Are you done in the kitchens, cook?"

Sanji suddenly slapped his forehead. "My cream!" He bolted back towards the kitchen, and Zoro stared at his back in amusement before returning to where Luffy was probably already demolishing the hunk of chocolate. He went back and was astonished to see Nami still standing in the doorway looking very, very awkward without anyone to introduce her.

"Hey Luffy, this is…" Zoro began, but stopped when he saw Luffy sitting on the couch. He had a sizeable chunk of chocolate grasped tightly in one hand while the other hand (also carrying a piece of chocolate) was halfway to his half-open, chocolate-smeared mouth. Luffy's eyes were wide and dazed as he stared at Nami. "This is Nami."

"Er, nice to meet you all," Nami said nervously with a little wave. Robin smiled and waved her over.

"You can sit here, Nami," Robin said, but was interrupted when Luffy suddenly sprang up.

"Actually you can sit here," Luffy sputtered as he elbowed Franky, making room for Nami. Nami raised an eyebrow questioningly but sat there. "D-do you want some chocolate?" Luffy asked shyly, holding out the piece in his hand. When Nami looked incredulously at the half-eaten chunk, Luffy slapped himself in the forehead—leaving a lovely, sticky brown smear—and put the two pieces in his hands aside. "Oh no it's not enough, here…" He grabbed the original block and held it out to her as a puppy would offer a sock to its master, looking up pleadingly at her.

"Looks like Luffy's smitten," Ace whispered into Zoro's ear. Zoro merely watched in fascination as his friend made a fool of himself. Luckily for them all Sanji chose that moment to come and announce that dinner was ready to be served. Everyone immediately stood and followed him to the dining room save Luffy, who lingered for a moment as he gazed at Nami's (quickly) retreating back. Robin glanced back and took pity on him as she carefully wiped the remains of the chocolate from his face and hands.

In the dining room, everyone sat around the table as Sanji disappeared into the kitchens and returned bearing a serving cart. "This is my gift to you, Luffy. It's not much, but it's the best I could give you," Sanji said. "As an _amuse-bouche_ I have morsels of pate and dried plums. The portions may seem small, but I assure you that the other courses will gradually fill you up." He smiled. "After all, there are eleven courses after this, including dessert." Everyone around the table gasped, and Luffy gazed up at Sanji in starry-eyed adoration.

"Sanji," Terracotta said sternly as she emerged from the kitchens. "What did I tell you about serving? Sit, sit! I will serve the rest of the meal, and you will sit, eat, and relax with your friends. You have done more than enough for today."

"But ma'am—"

"No buts. Eat!" She pushed him into the chair next to Zoro and served the rest of the mushrooms before whisking the serving cart away.

Sanji looked at the mushrooms on his plate and finally sighed. "Who am I to argue with a woman's orders?" he said to no one in particular. He sampled his pate and hummed in pleasure. "Mmm, that's good. How do you like it, marimo?" He looked to his side and found Zoro staring guiltily back at him, with a speck of pate on the corner of his mouth as the only evidence that there had been any at all.

"Er, it was good," Zoro said as he licked away the bit of pate. "Hardly a mouthful though. Look at Luffy." Luffy was staring at his empty plate as if confused over why there was so little. Sanji snorted.

"I marked everyone's plates differently according to how I thought the portions ought to be made, and the men—Luffy in particular—all have larger portions. He has no reason to complain."

"He's Luffy. He'll never be satisfied," Zoro said as he contemplated licking his plate.

"I guess tonight it's my job to do just that then."

"…that sounded kind of gay—"

"Yeah I just realized that," Sanji snapped. "The next course should be coming out so shut your trap and eat." As he spoke, Terracotta emerged from the kitchens with the pasta course. "Oh, this is the pumpkin ravioli in sage sauce with tomato and carrot pillows. You can try this or the cold fusilli and salmon pasta. Once you taste it, carrying those pumpkins around all day will have been worth it."

"I think you picked the pumpkins out at the beginning of the day on purpose, asshole. Those were a pain to lug around the whole market."

"Just taste it. Look, spread the sauce a little and…or just stuff it into your mouth, I guess that works too," Sanji said sourly as Zoro ignored him and ate. "Worth it?"

Zoro shrugged, but Sanji could see the pleasure in his eyes.

"Sanji, this is simply marvelous," Robin commented as she cut delicately into her ravioli and sampled it. "You said that you learned this from your father?"

"Yeah," Sanji said. He laughed. "I remember I used to get mad at Zeff all the time because he would never admit that my food was good. He was a crotchety old man, eh, Nami?"

Nami nodded slowly. "They know about Zeff then?" she asked.

"Yeah. I told them everything," Sanji confessed. "How is it, my love?" Luffy scowled at this endearment.

"Delectable as always, Sanji."

They ate their way through the courses as Terracotta brought them out—Zoro noticed that Luffy's portions _were_ considerably larger than everyone else's, and that Terracotta stood with the serving cart full of extra portions in case anyone should want another serving. Sanji announced each course with pride, and Zoro did notice that he was slowly becoming quite full. Terracotta was also bringing out baskets of steaming bread, but Zoro realized that Luffy was probably the only one who would be able to eat it all.

"A choice of Nouvelle Waldorf salad of red apples, celery, golden raisins, crystallized walnuts, and light dressing or cucumber salad with sesame dressing."

"Peasant pot pies with potatoes, corn, peas, and mushroom gravy."

"Carrot-tangerine soup with diced beet garnish."

"Lamb racks roasted with mini pesto and savory mint meringues on a bed of lentils."

"Steamed clams on salmon roe and lime mousse."

"Short ribs with vegetables and jicama."

"Broiled salmon with breaded and stuffed cherry peppers."

"Roasted pork tenderloin and filet mignon steaks crusted with hazelnut and unsweetened cocoa."

At this point, people were beginning to pat their stomachs and stretch in order to accommodate the plates that were still being brought out. They did notice, though, that the meals were becoming lighter now that the meat courses had been consumed.

"Tomato sorbet with strawberry wine."

"Five-cheese and deli meat platters with an assortment of fresh bread and crackers, with grapes and green apple slices on the side."

"Dessert!" Sanji announced the last one quite cheerfully as he looked around at the faces full of anticipation. "This is the last course…"

"But I'm still hungry, Sanji!" Luffy interrupted. Sanji grinned.

"After dessert I'll let you go at the leftovers," Sanji informed him. "But not yet. I'll go get it myself." He went into the kitchen and ran back out with the cart; they could hear Terracotta yelling after him. "Bowls of fresh lychee fruit. Fried plantains in a sweet lemon sauce. Plum pudding with slices of plum and dates. Ice cream cones with orange-chocolate cake inside with orange butter cream and dried pineapple pieces. Strawberry cheesecake petit fours. Kahlua coffee to wash it all down." He placed the tiny dishes bearing dessert on the table and bowed before sitting again. "I'd suggest trying the lychee fruit first before the sweetness of the other desserts kicks in," Sanji informed Zoro as he looked at all the little plates with an overwhelmed expression on his face. "Just a suggestion."

Zoro stuck a peeled lychee into his mouth.

"By the way…" Sanji said, peeling his own fruit and placing the bright red skins daintily on his plate.

"Ouch!" Zoro growled as he spat out a seed.

"…watch out for the pits. They're a bit annoying."

"_You're_ annoying."

As the meal was finally being wrapped up and finished, everyone sat back and sighed contentedly. "That was exquisite," Vivi complimented Sanji. Everyone else heartily agreed, although Luffy was still looking around for food. Sanji laughed as he heaved himself to his feet; he was tired, after running around all day looking for groceries and cooking in the kitchens.

"I'll get you those leftovers, Luffy," Sanji said as he wobbled slightly. Zoro noticed this and tugged Sanji by the sleeve to pull him back into his seat.

"I'll take care of it," Zoro said. "Just relax and talk with them a little." He left before Sanji could protest.

"Woah, Zoro's doing something for someone else voluntarily," Usopp whispered to Chopper. "What's going on?" Zoro grumbled as he went into the kitchen and found the serving cart laden with covered trays. When he found that even he was having trouble moving it, he knew that it was for Luffy.

"Go for it," Zoro told Luffy as he rolled the cart out. "Nami, you should probably move."

She heeded his advice as he rolled the cart next to Luffy and saw why; the flying food would have resulted in casualties.

"Let's get the games ready while he finishes eating," Ace suggested as he stood, stretching widely. "I guess it's a bit too soon for anything active, but we could play charades. Anyone up for it? We can play in here." The game was picked up quickly. "Who wants to be a team captain? I'll be one." Franky raised his hand, and the teams were split up.

Team Ace (Ace, Zoro, Sanji, Robin, Tashigi)  
versus  
Team Franky (Franky, Usopp, Chopper, Vivi, Nami)

The two groups faced each other as they pulled their chairs from the dining table (where Luffy was watching in fascination as he ate) and Ace brought out a box of index cards. "Vivi, do you have the whiteboard I left here earlier today? Franky, your team can go first." He winked roguishly. "You'll need the extra advantage."

"You're pushing it bro," Franky snorted as he drew an index card. "Ready, team?" He picked up a marker and began to scrawl across the board with the practiced hand of an architect. A crystal-clear image was quickly produced on the empty board, and Franky presented his picture with pride as he placed his hands on his hips and thrust out victoriously.

Everyone stared at the picture as the clock ticked away.

"Look, Franky, I'm pretty sure that the words you got were 'The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife,' but you didn't have to…recreate the whole painting," Usopp said as he tilted his head to examine the picture.**

"Super!" Franky cheered. "One point for Team Franky!"

"I'm not sure I want him on my team anymore," Nami whispered to Vivi. "Is he a pervert?" Vivi nodded solemnly in return, resulting in a giggling fit.

Ace quickly swept the picture off the board and began to draw.

"Dude, your drawing skills are worse than Luffy's," Zoro groaned as they tried to figure out what the hell was going on in Ace's picture. "It looks almost violent."

"Shut up," Ace laughed. "C'mon, guess!" His team tilted their heads as they scrutinized the board. There was a snaking mess of lines, a curving moustache, wicked teeth, seven messy circles with tiny dots on them…

"Ah, Dragonball!" Zoro pointed at the board. "That's supposed to be a dragon, right?"

"Bingo!" Ace cheered as he bumped fists with Zoro. Franky grumbled—something about _No artistic skills at all_—as Usopp took the stage.

"You know, I don't think it's fair that everyone on your team has taken art classes of some sort," Ace grumbled to Franky. "Well, except for Chopper and Nami."

"It's not our fault that we have a taste for the fine arts," Franky huffed as Usopp drew busily across the board. "Oh! It's a Nissan Skyline, right? That model's a beauty." He high-fived Usopp and grinned.

"Fine arts? The professors still talk about your college escapades. Something about the guy who ran buck naked through the football field after painting himself with the cover art of that Pink Floyd album." Ace coughed as he said this, jabbing Franky in the ribs. Robin merely chuckled as Franky turned red and muttered under his breath.

As the game continued, Luffy finally blew out a guttural belch and ambled from the table, patting his stomach in a very satisfied manner. "Aaaah, that was good! Thanks, Sanji!" Sanji waved absently in return from where he was drawing on the board, and Luffy tilted his head slightly. "What are you drawing? It looks like a mushroom cat?"

"…what the hell is a mushroom cat, Luffy?" Sanji's voice was strained as he struggled to draw more neatly on the board.

"It's a mushroom with a cat! Duh!"

"Of course," Sanji snapped. "How could I have failed to have seen that?"

In the end, Franky's team lost.

"Damned Zoro and Robin and their freaking telekinetic communication," Franky grumbled. The duo had earned points in a matter of seconds, as it had only take a few simple lines for them to know what the other was talking about. "It's just not right, you know?"

"Actually Franky, I think it was perfectly fair," Ace said gleefully. "Now, you know what happens to the losers…the punishment game."

"Er, what happens?" Sanji asked as he tried to mask his sudden trepidation while fiddling his thumbs. After seeing how eccentric the group's activities were, he was sure that this 'punishment game' could be nothing good. His fears were confirmed as he saw Team Ace smiling disarmingly at him—even Zoro was looking _pleasant._

"Oh, we'll discuss it later," Ace said as he waved a hand dismissively. "But now that the birthday boy has joined us again, we can really get into the meat of the party!"

"Ooooh, what's next?" Luffy squealed. He bounced up and down excitedly as he tried—and failed—to conceal his exponentially expanding excitement. "C'mooon!"

"Where'd we leave the stuff?" Ace asked Franky as he ignored his hyperactive brother.

"We left it in one of the drawing rooms," Franky replied with a grin. His chagrin at losing the game was rapidly vanishing as he anticipated the next activity. He led the way back into the house and brought them to a pair of double doors. "Ladies and gentlemen, this game is not for the faint of heart…" He gestured outdoors. "The night is quickly approaching, and visibility will be low even with a full moon. Are you ready?"

"Yeah!" everyone cheered.

"Then let's get this thing started!" Franky roared as he pushed the doors open with a bang. Inside, they found rows of black combat suits and packs of ammunition; long rifles and smaller pistols were placed in gleaming rows along the wall, and boots were lined along the floor in various sizes. Dull black helmets with visors were visible poking out of a deep bin, as were stacks of leather gloves. "We're going paintballing in Vivi's gardens!"

"Waaaah," Luffy cried. "This is so awesome!" He quivered as though unsure of where to direct his energy first.

"Here Luffy," Zoro said as he went and grabbed a suit. "This looks like your size." Soon, everyone was being fitted into their gear and equipped with their weapons. Zoro slapped the straps of his gloves and boots firmly as he finished and looked around the room. Everyone suddenly looked a lot more menacing when their faces were covered and they were armed; the ebony colors of their clothing didn't help, either. Vivi led the way into the gardens.

"I had the gardeners specially change the landscaping for this kind of activity," she chirped excitedly. Evidently, even cloistered wealthy girls could get worked up over this kind of activity. "When we pick our teams, there are special strips on our clothing that will activate in two different colors to differentiate. The grounds are mostly grass and dirt, with large stone structures and trees to offer coverage and bases. There will be stashes of ammunition hidden here and there, as well as other…surprises," she said with a small smile. She hefted her gun with a practiced air.

"It looks really well coordinated," Sanji mused as he squinted into the dark gardens which stretched for well over several acres of land. He looked down the barrel of his gun and was pleasantly surprised to see that it was equipped with a scope lens complete with laser pointer. "Have you done this before, Vivi?"

She grinned. "Yeah, I used to play all the time with my friend Kohza. He's the one who introduced it to me. That's how my gardeners got to be so experienced at changing the layout of the land so quickly. So, teams?"

"Let's just stick with the teams from before," Usopp suggested. "Whose team do you want to be on, Luffy?"

"But then the teams will be uneven," Nami pointed out.

"Never fear," a voice trilled from the background. "For I am here, yohohoho!" An enormous figure clad in paintballing gear jumped from the steps up to the veranda and landed gracefully.

"I'd recognize that annoying voice anywhere," Franky chuckled as he grabbed the stranger by the wrist and clapped him on the back. "You made it, Brooke!"

"Of course!" the tall man said as he pushed up his visor. Sanji had a brief view of a skeletally gaunt face before the visor was pushed back down. "I will join Ace's team, as it hardly seems fair to have the two D. brothers on the same side, no?"

"Yeah! I get to shoot Zoro in the head again!" Luffy cheered.

"Sh-shut up," Zoro protested quietly on the side as he grabbed Luffy and punched him lightly on the shoulder.

"Hey, get your grudges out on the field," Ace interrupted with a grin. "How are we going to do this?"

"First…" Vivi moved to each person and pressed a small button on their chests. Team Ace sported faintly glowing crimson stripes that ran down their arms and across their shoulders, while Team Franky wore cerulean blue ones. "We'll have one person run in at a time, and when I blow the whistle we'll begin. Ready?" Everyone scrambled to line up next to the gate. "Go!" One by one, they ran off and disappeared into the darkness.

Zoro ran until he found a brick tower to the east of the establishment. He gripped his rifle and peered into the scopes carefully.

"Who to snipe first…"

---

**This painting is pretty famous—it's a erotic woodcut of the ukiyo-e genre. You can find it on Wikipedia.

review replies... (because I suck at doing it as they come)  
Primefan: yeah, zoro and robin are pretty similar aren't they? compared to the others...I'm going to try and make their background story good, I promise  
BregoArodShadowfax: I love your writing, and if you enjoyed this then I hope to keep satisfying you!  
debzzz: not sure if I replied but I'll reply anyways...yes, this will be slash :]  
dalia76: I'm trying to go slow with them, haha  
Santoryuu-Zoro: same as from EOS  
sentimentalreality: haha I haven't quite stamped out all the details for what Sanji's 'beautiful' thing to Zoro will be yet...but I hope I can meet your expectations!  
Paradoxisimminent: oh, they'll _always_ keep upping the ante  
ShaolinQueen: haha yeah I've been having a hard time trying to top the last chapter...and I'm quite relieved to hear that I'm keeping them in character.  
TheDoublemindTwins11: horohoro....I'm sorry I didn't update sooner .


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Another update after X weeks...graduation has been hectic. End of Seclusion on hold at the moment. Sorry! No time to say more!

---

Sanji swore that he could feel a thousand eyes _staring _at him from the darkness. He stalked silently through the garden, ducking for cover under conveniently placed logs—really, he'd have to thank her gardeners one day—and behind sandstone blocks, watching carefully. Every nerve in his body vibrated with tension as he waited to come upon someone in the darkness. He felt oddly conspicuous with the glowing red panels on his suit reminiscent of embers, but knew that he'd be able to see his opponent if they could see him.

Well, he hoped.

A faint sound in the distance snapped him back to attention, and he threw himself to the side as a tiny pellet splattered on the ground through a trajectory that would have definitely shot him between the eyes. He cursed in surprise as he crouched, looking around wildly. As his eyes fell upon the paint that had splattered upon contact with a hard surface, he groaned.

It was a bright neon green color that was almost painful to look at in the darkness.

"If I get hit with one of those things then I'm a goner," Sanji muttered under his breath as it dawned on him. "I'll be a walking highlighter! Now, where's the bastard who was out to get me?"

Another bullet just barely missed his chest as he turned to look around the other side of his shelter.

"Shit."

---

Zoro could hear the yells of the others as they began to contact one another and grinned. "I think I see an enormous hulking figure of a person who happens to practice medicine…" he muttered under his breath as he saw a large shadow tiptoeing timidly amongst the rocks. "Sorry buddy, but I can't just let a target like this walk around unscathed." He pulled the trigger and shot a bullet with deadly accuracy at the figure.

Chopper felt the paint splatter across his torso and squealed in surprise. His attempts to wipe off the paint only served to smear the bright green liquid all over his body, thus making him an easy target for anyone else who happened to walk by. Zoro felt a twinge of pity as he heard Chopper wail in dismay, but shook his head and honed his senses to find the next target.

"That was dirty, Zoro," a voice said right behind him. Zoro didn't flinch, but turned around slowly to find a slim figure pointing a pistol right at his forehead. He wasn't surprised that Vivi had managed to sneak up on him, since he had been distracted with Chopper and her light body afforded a silence that someone like Brooke or Franky would have had trouble imitating. He could see the steely glint of her blue eyes behind the visor as she held the gun firmly with both hands.

"All's fair in love and war," Zoro quoted with a grin. "But do you really think you're safe, holding a gun like that?" Vivi's eyes widened in shock as he squeezed the trigger of his pistol from his hip. A paintball splattered in a beautiful spray of green across her visor, and she shrieked as she moved to try and clean off her mask while shooting with the other hand. He dodged the bullets with a sideways leap and shot her again in the chest. "Have fun avoiding the rest of my team while shining like a beacon!" he called cheerfully as he darted out the door. He grinned as he heard her spouting obscenities that were not fit for a dainty mouth like hers. _She must have learned that from Kohza too,_ he thought in amusement.

Zoro ran swiftly and silently. He was in his element now.

---

Sanji darted around in a panic. The silent sniper had managed to clip his arms and legs, and he had resorted to ducking under a rocky overhang to avoid getting any more of the flashy paint on his body. Panting slightly, he looked out at the ground and inspected the way the paint had sprayed. _If it's just one sniper, then…bingo_. Taking a deep breath, he sprinted out as fast as he could while taking a look at his surroundings. _There!_ Sanji continued to run at top speed towards his goal. Running up rough steps, he hurled his body through the staircase and through a doorway. He whipped his pistol out with one hand and stabilized his body with the other, taking careful aim.

"Augh!"

"Yes!" Sanji cheered as he blasted pellets at his adversary. "That's what you get for sniping me, you shitty bastard!" He looked down at his cowering opponent and contemplated the huddled figure for a moment before smiling evilly. "Crotch shot."

"No!"

---

Zoro heard someone's agonized and high-pitched scream not far from where he ran. "Sounds like Usopp," he mused. "No one else could sound that girly."

"Yohohohonoooo!"

_Brooke?_ Zoro darted between two trees as he took in his surroundings. _That was definitely Brooke…damned tall bastard, he's just a walking target._ A burst of ammunition and light out of the corner of his eye pulled his attention to where a slim figure was busy giving Brooke hell. The sheer brutality of the attack shocked even him, and he winced as he saw the person shoot Brooke square in the face before hoisting the pistol over her—it was definitely a woman—shoulder.

"That was sooo awesome!" Zoro looked sharply to the side and saw a bouncing figure run over to the aggressive marksman. "Nami, you're so good at this!"

_So it was Nami…go figure. I knew she was evil._

"Thanks," Nami replied as she looked around warily. "Hush. You don't know who's listening." She turned her head slightly, and Zoro ducked behind the tree again to avoid being spotted. _I had best wait until I can pick them off one at a time,_ he thought anxiously. _Luffy alone is hard enough to get…_

Zoro decided that this was a good time for a 'tactical retreat.'

---

"So, it comes down to this."

"Aye…that, it does."

"Ready, Franky?"

"You're no match for me, Ace."

Sanji watched the duel with interest. The two men had crossed paths in front of his very eyes, and he was wary of being detected. They were back-to-back, hands relaxed at their sides.

"Five steps…one…two…"

"Three…four…five."

The two team leaders spun around and began to shoot, Western-style. Sanji marveled at how they dodged the bullets with such ease while shooting with such accuracy, but stared in surprise as they stopped.

"You got me," Ace and Franky said simultaneously. "Damn…" Each man bore a splotch of paint on his chest.

"Tie?" Franky offered. Ace shrugged and held out a hand.

Franky smiled. "Just kidding." A jerk of the hand was the only warning Ace had before Franky hit him in the face. Green paint went everywhere, and Franky skipped backwards to avoid the rebounding spray.

"Shit Franky, what the hell!" Ace cursed as he stumbled forward. Franky merely cackled as he walked off whistling while twirling his gun in his hand.

"Woah…" Sanji let out the breath he had been holding. "That was intense."

---

"Tashigi!"

The policewoman crumpled, felled by the impact of over a dozen paintballs lodging themselves into her back nearly simultaneously. "Oh, that hurts like a _bitch_," she hissed through her teeth as she stood. "Get back, Zoro!"

Zoro jumped as their attackers turned their eyes on him.

"Run, you fool, run!" Tashigi yelled at him. "I'll cover for you!"

He leapt into the air and over a fallen log as he dodged the bullets. He had tried to meet up with Tashigi to take down Nami and Luffy—the policewoman's aim was formidable, and her training made her an excellent ally—but they had been ambushed the moment they had finally managed to meet one another. Nami and Luffy were stalking after him now, although Tashigi did manage to hit them a few times in the thighs and on their torsos.

_Alright, who's left,_ Zoro thought quickly. _The ones I know are down are Chopper, Vivi, Usopp, Brooke, and now Tashigi. So that leaves…Franky, Nami, Luffy, Ace, Sanji, and Robin._

"Marimo!" Zoro looked up and saw Sanji waving from the top of a tower. "C'mere!"

Zoro changed his course rapidly and ran into the tower; he could hear Luffy groan in dismay as his prey vanished.

"Thanks, cook." Zoro pulled up his visor to allow more oxygen to flow into the cavity. "What, have you been hiding all this time?"

Sanji snorted. "No, I've been mostly running around while trying to get my bearings."

"You didn't even manage to shoot anyone, did you."

"Shut up, I got Usopp!"

"Oh yeah, _really_ big accomplishment right there. You get a gold star for that!" Zoro grinned as he pulled his visor down again. "I was being chased by Nami and Luffy. They already got Tashigi. Who's left on our team?"

"I haven't seen any of the others except for Ace, and Franky already got to him," Sanji said as he nosed around the tower. "Did you see anyone?"

"I saw Brooke get mauled by Nami and Luffy, too. We've got to break that team up if we want to win this thing. I got Chopper and Vivi in one round too, so it looks like we're even in terms of numbers. Where do you think Robin is?"

"She's probably off killing people," Sanji said nonchalantly. "She seems like the type who would shoot you and smile."

"Oh, she is," Zoro said absently. "C'mon, let's go find her."

The two men snuck out of the tower as they watched carefully for any signs of the others. The bright moon undermined the brilliance of the paint in the open, but the luminescence was very much visible in any shadow. Zoro kept a steady hand on the pistol at his waist at all times as he led the way as he looked back and forth. He could hear Sanji panting slightly behind him from the exertion of running, carrying around the heavy equipment, and high tension. "If you need to rest then speak up," Zoro muttered gruffly.

Sanji looked up in surprise and snorted. "Don't worry, grandma, I'll be fine."

"Oi! I'm just looking out for you!"

Sanji's eyebrow rose in a question that was missed behind the dark visor. "You always worry too much about me."

"I do nothing of the kind."

"Did you hear that?" Sanji grabbed Zoro's wrist and pulled him into a recess between two boulders. Zoro winced at the tight space, but was grateful as he heard Luffy hooting as the hyperactive boy rush past with Nami not far behind. Both he and Sanji held their breaths as they were pressed with their backs against the hard granite and their helmets clacking slightly with every movement. Zoro was only vaguely aware of how inappropriate he would find this position to be as he listened attentively. As the sound of their footsteps died away, Zoro let out a sigh of relief.

Unfortunately, this was his undoing.

"C'mon, let's go," Zoro murmured as he turned to leave. Tried to turn to leave.

"What's wrong? Move it, you caveman, you're suffocating me," Sanji groaned as he pushed Zoro. Sanji was very aware of their position, and it wasn't just his face that burned with mortification. Every inch of his body, from his thighs to his hips to his chest, tingled and flared with a peculiar sensation as he felt Zoro's body pressed up against him more firmly with every breath.

"…I can't."

"You can't? What do you _mean_, you can't?" Sanji hissed. "Just go!"

"I'm, um, stuck." Zoro was glad that he wore a helmet as his face flushed. "As in, I can't bloody well get out."

"You're such a bastard."

"Who's the one who pulled us into this hole?" Zoro snapped. "It's not my fault I was pulled in before I could see that we wouldn't fit!"

"Who's the one who saved us from being detected by Nami and Luffy?" Sanji shot back. "Just take a deep breath so we have more space, and then you'll be able to move."

Two voices interrupted their squabbling, and the two men froze once again.

"I must say that seeing you in this kind of vestment gives you a dangerously _attractive_ air."

"Oh, this clothing does nothing of the kind to you. You're so gorgeous already. Of course…if I had my way you'd never wear anything at all."

"You silver-tongued rogue," Robin laughed as she chucked Franky gently under the chin. The two lovers ambled out from under the trees, and both Zoro and Sanji were disturbed to see that their gear was rather disheveled, as though it had been put back on in the dark. "Eventually when someone sees us, we'll have to start shooting at each other."

"We can just shoot them so they can't see anything," Franky proposed with a shrug.

"I love it when you're brutal."

"And I love you, period."

Zoro averted his eyes as Franky pulled Robin's helmet off and brought her closer to him for a kiss. Sanji grimaced as he saw both Franky and Robin's hands roaming freely over the other's body, teasing and massaging. _Oh, get a room,_ Sanji thought darkly. He could hear Robin moan gently as Franky ran a hand down her neck. Zoro quivered against Sanji's body as he took in the sight.

Sanji felt Zoro suddenly take an enormous breath and tear himself out of the crevice, guns blazing. "That idiot!" Sanji growled as he stumbled out of the small space and after the rampaging swordsman. "Get back here!"

Both Robin and Franky looked up with shock etched on their faces as Zoro pulled his pistol up.

_Bam. Bam._

Luckily Franky had kept his helmet on, or the bullets that collided with his face would have hit him in the eyes. Franky pushed Robin away from him to keep her from getting sprayed with the paint, but was subsequently exposed to the handful of slugs that bit into his torso as Zoro shot again and again. Franky clutched his chest; in such close proximity, the dense paintballs were as solid as rocks.

"Zoro," Robin said softly as she looked at the harshly panting swordsman. Sanji couldn't see Zoro's face under the helmet, but he could see the way that Zoro's shoulders were stiff and raised, and the way his body heaved with every laborious breath.

The hand that gripped his gun shook violently.

Before anyone could say another word, they heard someone crashing through the bushes and skid to a halt. "Shishishi, so this is where everyone is!" Luffy laughed. Nami dashed through the path he had made for her through the undergrowth and took her position beside him, holding a pistol in each hand—she must have looted Brooke or Tashigi after taking them down.

Everyone stared at one another for a brief moment. Robin slowly knelt and picked up her helmet before fastening it firmly on her head. With the _click_ of the clip, everyone was jolted out of their reverie.

The next few minutes were pure mayhem.

---

"Wow, that was _so much fun! _Let's do it again!" Luffy grinned widely as he pulled off his paint-drenched clothing and dropped it into the bin that had been set aside specifically for that purpose. As he wriggled out of his jeans, Sanji smacked him across the head.

"Not in front of the ladies, idiot!" Sanji growled. "You can do that once they leave."

"That was an intense game," Usopp agreed as he dropped his helmet into the bin and gingerly pulled off his outer layers. "But that was uncalled for, Sanji." He gripped his crotch tenderly. "I mean, really…"

Sanji merely shrugged. "Sniping people was a bitch move." Zoro coughed slightly at these words; it was best that Sanji not know that he had shot Chopper from fifty feet away.

Ace glared at Franky as he pulled his gloves off. "Traitor."

"You're too naïve kid," Franky chortled. He helped Robin out of her vest as Zoro looked away, one hand rubbing his mussed-up hair.

As everyone cleaned up, Sanji looked at the grandfather clock that sat against the wall and gasped. "Holy…it's already two in the morning? Where did all the time go?"

"Well the party was started an hour late because _someone_ failed to bring Luffy in on time," Usopp said, jumping to the side as Zoro jabbed him in the ribs. They all stood and made their way to the front door to go home, stretching sore muscles and tired limbs. "But you'd be surprised how much time we spend paintballing."

"Did everyone have fun?" Vivi asked, hovering worriedly.

"Oh, you were a wonderful hostess," Nami reassured her with a smile. "So you have my number, then? Let's get together sometime!"

"Ready to go home, Nami?" Sanji asked as he held out his hand grandly. "I'll give you a spin in the Sanjimobile!"

Before she could respond, Luffy suddenly appeared and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "You could come with me," Luffy offered with a wide smile, shuffling his feet slightly. "I've got a Nissan GT-R, just out of the shop." As he spoke, one of Vivi's valets drove up in the sleek red vehicle with a purr. Nami's eyes practically popped out as she saw the expensive model. She hooked an arm around Luffy's with a sly smile, waving goodbye to Sanji.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll get to know—Luffy, right?—better. Goodnight!" As she stepped daintily into the passenger's seat Sanji sighed morosely.

"I'll take these kids home," Ace said, gesturing to Usopp and Chopper. Chopper was being (unsteadily) supported by Usopp as he dozed on his feet. "Poor guy, he's wiped out. He must have had a hard time of it tonight."

"Might I accompany you home, miss?" Brooke bowed to Tashigi. Sanji looked at his rickety limbs and gaunt face in interest; he was sure that he had seen this man before. Brooke twirled his cane and adjusted the bowtie on his oddly formal tuxedo. "By the way, may I see your panties?"

As Tashigi punched Brooke in the face, they all knew that the two of them would get along just fine.

Sanji looked around and saw Robin touch Zoro lightly on the shoulder, gesturing to a dirt path that led back to the gardens. "Come talk with me," she said softly into his ear. Zoro nodded silently, following her. "I'll be right back Franky."

"Take your time," Franky called as he took a seat on the curb. "Waiting for Zoro, Sanji?"

"Yeah," Sanji sighed. "I guess I am. He'd never find his way home otherwise." He settled down besides the older man. "So…you and Robin, huh?"

Franky grinned as he fiddled with his sunglasses. "Yeah. She's like dynamite."

"When did you guys get together?" Sanji asked nonchalantly. _I wonder how much he knows about Zoro and Robin?_

"We've been together for about six months," Franky said. Sanji's eyes widened. "Yeah, we've been hiding it pretty well haven't we? Even Zoro didn't know, and he's pretty perceptive especially when it comes to Robin."

"So, Zoro…" Sanji hesitated as he struggled with how to word his next question.

Franky smiled thinly. "Yeah. I know, Sanji. They used to be a thing."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Nah." Franky rubbed his neck wearily. "It used to, especially when I would come over and find him in his boxers after he had stayed the night—even after Robin and I had started going out. Of course Zoro didn't know so I didn't have any right, but I was just a bit envious of their connection, you know? It's not like they actually _did_ anything after they broke up…physically, they didn't try anything."

"I think I know the feeling," Sanji said with a nod. "What do you know about them? I didn't want to ask Zoro, because he always looks so _odd_ when we talk about her."

"You sure you want to know? It might be better to ask him directly," Franky warned. Sanji paused, before nodding.

"I want to be prepared."

Franky took a deep breath. "Don't tell them that I told you anything. They don't like to talk about it with outsiders—meaning, with anyone except for the two of them. They met when Zoro was first 19, and she was 23…"

---

Zoro allowed himself to be led by Robin into the gardens until they found a stone bench under a pair of intertwining trees. He sat beside her, staring morosely at the ground as she watched the full moon in silence. Still, he knew that she had something to say so he waited for her to speak. The air was warm and the cicadas chirped noisily in the background.

"Zoro."

_Here we go…_"Robin?" His voice was as deep and firm as ever, but she could feel the imperceptible quiver from the break in emotion at merely uttering her name.

"You have to stop this." Zoro looked down at where her hand still rested on his as a warm and soft contrast to the cold, hard bench.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He turned his head to stare at her lips, unable to look into those dark eyes of hers.

"You were one of my brightest—if least motivated—students. You know what I'm talking about. You…you knew about Franky the moment you saw us interacting six months ago."

Zoro knew what she was talking about very well.

"_Hey Robin!" Zoro ran up the driveway eagerly swinging a plastic bag. "I brought your favorite—cucumber sandwiches and mocha tea cakes!" Digging into his pocket, he pulled out the spare key she had given him; he knew that she was home after seeing her car in the driveway. As he stuck the key into the keyhole, he stopped and looked back. He didn't recognize the car, but that wasn't unusual; she often had visitors with questions on her research._

_He stepped into the house and called out, "Hello?" He didn't want to interrupt if she was having an interview. Closing the door quietly, he scuffed off his shoes and stepped lightly into the kitchen. He saw Robin leaning on the table with her elbows on the wooden surface while propping her head up with one hand under her chin and the other on the table. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped short when he saw a broad-shouldered man quickly pull his hand from the table and turn to wave at Zoro._

"_Hey bro, what's up?"_

_Zoro felt something twist inside of him as he replayed that instant in his mind. He could still see Franky's rough hands resting gently on Robin's soft and elegant ones as he dropped the bag on the counter and left with a curt nod._

---

"I heard this all from Robin after the fact, but apparently he was forced into taking her class," Franky said as Sanji listened intently. "She was teaching a class on Native American folktales and how they're related to the Poneglyph inscriptions found all over the world."

_Robin tapped her papers lightly to neaten up the already-straight stack of handouts she had printed for her class. She looked around at the faces of the many students taking her class; after all, it was rare to be able to hear about Poneglyphs from someone who could read them, and Navarone University had a bright and involved student body._

_Of course, she was perceptive enough to see the student who had already flopped over and fallen asleep in the very back. She could see a tuft of green sticking out from under a black hood and she smiled in amusement. "Good morning, class. My name is Professor Nico…"_

_After class, she walked up the steps and tapped the slumbering student lightly on the shoulder. "Class is over," she said as the young man sat up groggily and blinked unsteadily. "Mister…?"_

_She was shocked by the color of the man's eyes. At first they were dark, almost black, as he blinked into awareness. When he looked up at her with his full focus, they were revealed to be as flashy a blacs opals—flecks of green would flicker with every blink. When he realized that she was waiting for his name, he coughed slightly before rumbling, "Zoro. I'm Roronoa Zoro." He showed signs of vague recognition, but she didn't expect him to be able to recognize her yet._

"_Well Mr. Roronoa, class is over. I'll be expecting a paper on the subject matter discussed in class today by next week," she said with a small smile. His eyes widened in dismay as she smiled at him and turned, walking the rest of the way up the steps and out the door._

_She could feel his eyes on her, following the swaying of her hips and the swish of her hair._

"He never meets anyone on good terms, does he?" Sanji wondered out loud. He wondered if Franky knew that Zoro had tried to steal from Robin. Franky laughed.

"I'm just surprised that he can keep anyone on good terms. He's a great guy, but…"

"I know what you mean. Just not a people person. How'd they get together?"

---

"It…doesn't bother me. You and Franky," Zoro muttered. "You're entitled to your own happiness."

"Aren't we all?" Robin hummed slightly. "Especially you. It's been a long time since I've seen you be truly happy, Zoro."

"I'm fine with the way things are. I've always been fine."

"You weren't fine the day that we first met…"

_Zoro lurked in the alleyway, watching the University students walk to and fro on their way to their classes. He knew that he was playing a dangerous game to steal this deep in Water Sector, but he was desperate._

_When he saw the raven-haired student walk by while digging her car keys out of her purse—Gucci, he was sure—he knew that this was his target. Her head was bowed in distress as she blinked away unbidden tears. As he snuck out of the alleyway, he froze and leaned against the wall to try and look nonchalant as she stopped and looked around. He was suddenly reminded of a nature program he had seen in the window of an electronics shop; a female lion had been shown sniffing the air for danger…or for prey._

…

"_Put your hands behind your head." Zoro put his knife gently against the student's neck as an extra warning. His practice swords would be no good in a holdup. "Drop your purse and take a step back." Was she smiling?_

_The next few seconds flew by in a painful reminder of why he should scope out his targets before mugging them. She moved swiftly and grabbed his wrist. Although she had little power to speak of, she was well-versed in the art of manipulation of momentum—aikido, perhaps. He surged forward, but felt himself flying through the air. Shit._

_He glared at her as he stood back up and patted his waist for his knife. When he looked up, he saw her twirling it between two fingers with a devious smile._

"_What's your name, young man?" He would never forget that voice—it was smooth and melodious, and as charming as a valkyrie's lullaby._

"_My name is Roronoa Zoro," he stated firmly. "Are you going to turn me in?" He showed no fear; if this was the end, then this was the end. She regarded his angry face and strong features steadily. For one so young, the lines were cut deep into his face and his eyes seemed to be weary. They both knew that he was powerful enough to overpower her, but were both also aware that he would not touch her—he would not sully his stolen goods any further in Kuina's name._

_When she invited him home for a hot meal and to chat, he shrugged. He had nothing to lose; he had already lost Kuina._

_He was only sixteen years old at the time. He didn't know that three years later, he would meet this mysterious woman again under very different circumstances. No one else knew about this encounter, not even Franky._

"You had such a pain in your eyes," Robin said softly.

"I wasn't the only one who in pain," Zoro replied. "You weren't exactly the happiest woman in the world that day, either. Isn't that the day that the University told you to stop teaching about the Poneglyphs?"

"Yes, because they were newly outlawed. But you did manage to ease my pain. Do you remember our first date?"

"How could I forget?" Zoro's face softened slightly. "It was one of the best days of my life."

_Zoro listened to Robin lecturing with an erratically beating heart. He had become familiar with the woman over the years he had been taking her classes—he had always made sure to have at least one class where she was a lecturer. He pulled at the stiff collar of the button-up shirt he had donned today. The dark green material went well with his black slacks and the shining leather shoes he had borrowed from Ace._

"…_and we'll be conducting a project this week concerning the validity of using hallucinogenic mushrooms for visions. Class dismissed." Robin closed her folder with a snap, and everyone began to file out of class._

"_Are you going to lunch, Zoro?" Luffy asked as he leaned against Zoro's desk. "I heard that they're serving this new meatloaf—"_

"_Nah, I'll meet up with you later," Zoro interrupted. "You can use my meal number again."_

"_Yahoo! Thanks, Zoro!" Luffy bounded out of the classroom excitedly. "Meeeat!"_

_Finally, the room was empty. "Did you fall asleep again Zoro?" Robin teased as she pulled on her coat and snapped her briefcase shut. "You only ever stay behind this long when no one wakes you up." She raised an eyebrow at his clothing. "My, someone is dressed unusually well today."_

"_I didn't fall asleep," he grumbled. "Today was an interesting lecture."_

"_The sentiment is certainly appreciated," Robin said with a smile. "So, what brings my errant pupil to such a tardy dismissal?" She knew that he had something to ask her._

"_Professor…" He took a deep breath as he pulled his backpack over one shoulder and walked slowly down the steps. "You're not involved with anyone, are you?"_

"_History is my only lover. Why do you ask? I'm afraid that I cannot give you very good advice if you're having trouble with another young woman."_

"_Well, the woman who's been troubling me is quite…troublesome," Zoro said slowly. "She's very intelligent—almost too much for her own good—and she's the wittiest and … most beautiful creature I've ever seen."_

"_She sounds like quite a catch."_

"_Yes. I'm going to ask her out on a date today." He took another deep breath. "Would you like to go on a date? There…there's an exhibit tonight. The Navarone Museum of Natural History just brought in a collection of Mayan pottery that you might be interested in, and I know a restaurant that makes a killer lasagna." He waited, feeling the perspiration gather on his temple and palms. No matter how many times he had rehearsed this in front of the mirror, he was still nervous._

_Robin looked up in shock. "I was going to go to that exhibit with the other professors," she said evenly. He looked down in disappointment before turning around. "But." He stopped. "I would love to go with you…on a date."_

_He didn't learn a thing about Mayan pottery that night, but it was the first time that he had seen her smile with an expression that reached her eyes. He wasn't aware that she was thinking the same thing about him._

_She kissed him gently on the forehead after he dropped her off at her house (and after looping around the neighborhood several times). "Goodnight, Zoro."_

"_Goodnight, Professor."_

"_Zoro?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_You may call me Robin."_

_---_

"Wow, they got together in such a normal way. No weird incidents, just a…normal date." Sanji whistled softly. "Did something go wrong?"

"Oh no, apparently they were getting along beautifully. They even got special permission from the Dean to continue their relationship," Franky said. "The other students and staff used to call them the most dangerous couple on campus, because of their mixed intelligence and strength and the fact that they never seemed to be in contention with one another."

"I thought it was unhealthy for a relationship to have no disagreements."

"Eh," Franky said. "They knew all their flaws, but nothing seemed to faze them when they were together."

"What happened, then?"

"Robin left him."

---

Zoro leaned against Robin's shoulder, and she shifted to accommodate the extra weight. "Robin, why did you call me out here?"

"To set you free," she replied simply.

"You did that two years ago," he groaned. "Don't remind me, please…"

"But when I opened the door of your cage, you refused to leave," she said sadly.

"I couldn't accept your reasoning, your motivation for leaving."

"Can you accept it now?"

He gripped her hand more firmly, as though he was afraid to let go. "Has your reasoning changed?"

"I have one more reason…"

"Quantity doesn't equal quality."

"I love him, Zoro. I love Franky."

He felt his heart stop in the same way it had failed him when she had first told him that they had to end their relationship.

---

"She ended it? Why?" Sanji let his head fall into his hands. "What went wrong?"

Franky jiggled his leg up and down. Evidently, he was not happy that Robin was gone so long with Zoro.

"Robin has never been the type of woman who truly opens up to others," Franky said gloomily. "Even after she agreed to enter a relationship with me, she has always been unwilling to be really natural, you know? She wanted to keep the fact that we were a thing a secret to protect Zoro…at least, that was the reason she gave me. But I think she also didn't want the others to be affected in case the same problem came up between us as it did with Zoro."

"What problem?" Sanji kneaded his knuckles together. "C'mon, stop beating around the bush."

"Hold your horses, jeez! Why do you want to know so much, anyways?" Franky demanded. Sanji stopped short.

"I…I don't know," he said slowly. "I just feel an urge to know why he's in so much pain."

Franky looked at him sidelong for a long moment. "You see it too, huh? Most people just think that he's naturally gruff and grumpy…but he's not. He actually used to be a very chipper kind of guy when he was with Robin."

_Zoro opened the door to his apartment to find Robin already waiting for him. He smiled brightly at her as he kicked off his shoes and dropped his keys on the table. "I didn't know you were coming today," he said happily. She put her tea cup down with a slight clinking sound. When her visits became more regular, he had invested in a small tea set for her use; it was lavender pottery with a simple wave design on the cups and pot. He grabbed a chipped mug—all of his dishware was in similar condition, but he refused to wash her dishes with anything but the utmost care and thus her cups were still in pristine shape—and poured himself a cup of tea. "What's up?"_

_She looked at his intense expression with a sad smile. He was so happy._

"_I'm going to have to break up with you, Zoro." As always, she was precise and to the point. It took a moment for the casually expressed words to sink in._

"_What?" He put his cup down to keep himself from spilling the hot liquid on his hands. "What are you talking about? Is it something I did—wait, why? When did you decide this?" He forced himself to revert back to his meditative stage to stop the sudden hyperventilation that was seizing up his lungs. The white teeth that had been exposed by his grin were now gritted._

"_Zoro, I…don't love you anymore." She said the words flatly and left no room for argument. "I certainly do hold a certain measure of affection for you, but the love is gone." She left her empty cup on the table. "Don't try to make me change my mind. It's over, Zoro." She turned and left, swiftly putting on her shoes and leaving the apartment. As the door clicked shut, he snapped back to reality and stared at the empty room in shock._

"_She's always been so straightforward," he said to no one in particular. He looked at the cup she had been drinking from. It was still warm, and there was still a smear of lipstick on the rim. He thought of the curve of her lips, so often smiling with a mysteriously amused expression; her eyes that betrayed no emotion; the soft lines of her body as he embraced her._

_In the hall, Robin leaned against the wall with her hand clasped to her lips to muffle the sound of her sobs. She heard the crack of shattering porcelain as Zoro flung her cup against the wall._

"That's harsh," Sanji said in alarm. "I mean, woah. She really said that?"

Franky nodded. "She never told me why she did it. I met her through the other kids at the University, and it never seemed like there should have been a reason for her to end it like that. Zoro was just devastated. To this day, she has never told anyone her reasoning. From what I heard from the others, he continued to go to his other classes, but he never attended any of hers and she gave him a passing grade regardless."

"Yeah," Vivi said, curling up between the two men. They jumped in shock—they hadn't heard her coming—and she smiled wanly. "I was wondering why you guys were still loitering out here. Robin and Zoro, huh?"

"Do you know anything about it?" Sanji asked curiously. Vivi shrugged.

"A little. Everyone seems to know bits and pieces of the story, but no one wants to talk about it. After the whole Robin affair, it took him a long time to heal at all. Tashigi and I did date him after that, but we ended it…we knew that we were just hurting him by being with him."

_---_

"I don't believe you," Zoro said flatly. "Or rather, if you love him, how long will that last? A few more years, maybe, before you leave him like you left me?"

"Don't say it like that, Zoro."

"Did you really not love me anymore? Is that why you left?" He gripped her shoulders and turned to face her face to face. "Look me in the eye and say that you weren't lying that day."

She gazed into his eyes. They were so dark that even the moonlight seemed lost in them.

"The past is not important," she said. "What matters now is that you must not come between me and Franky."

"I haven't done anything for the past six months. I set that incident behind me and moved on, and we never lost the friendship we had. Why should I do anything now?"

"The reason I brought you out here is to tell you to _set yourself free,"_ she repeated. "You must look for love elsewhere, because I have no more to give to you." She looked at him sharply. "There's someone out there for you and that person is moving as fast as possible to meet you, but neither of you know it yet. But the only thing I can say for sure is…"

"…I have to set myself free, huh?" Zoro released her and rubbed his face with his hands tiredly. "I can't do it unless I know that the open world is safer than the cage."

"I never took you for an insecure person," Robin said quietly. Zoro snorted.

"Do you think it would be easy to open up to another person after what you did to me?" Zoro asked. She saw his shoulders stiffen and his hands seize, but his voice was even. "You were the only one I trusted, after my first savior died. You…you helped me fulfill my dreams, and I thought I was something special to you too. But then you give me a half-ass reason for leaving," Zoro continued as his voice began to rise, "and you expect me to be able to just say, 'oh well, that's life, let's move on!'? I know you're not a fool, so why don't you tell me why I should open up to someone after being treated like crap by the only person who has ever mattered to me? I tried…with Vivi, and even Tashigi. That was torture. Am I Prometheus, to have to suffer again and again for all eternity? [1] It would be better for me to wallow in this pit of hell rather than go out into the unknown and suffer from a dozen other torments with each new encounter!"

"Zoro, the decision I had to make was between two evils." Even Robin's voice was beginning to grow with passion as she spoke. "If I had stayed with you then you would be in far greater pain than what you are in now!"

He laughed darkly. "How can you possibly know what I've been going through?"

"_Because it has happened to me as well!"_

Zoro stared, caught off of his guard. Robin's face was flushed with agitation as her breath hitched in her stomach, and her hands were fluttering on her chest in an attempt to calm herself down.

"Robin…" He cupped her face in his hands, watching her bite her lower lip and look to the side. "Look at me." She looked up with tears welling in her eyes, and he leaned over.

---

"Should we go get those two?" Franky proposed as he checked his watch. "Not that I mind waiting, but it's late and I don't think Vivi will go to bed unless we're all safely gone."

"I'm not tired," Vivi yawned as she rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes. "Give them time."

"Maybe we can just…push the process along a little," Sanji mused. "Let's go." He stood, and he and Franky helped Vivi to her feet. "Do you know which way they went?"

"If they've been talking for this long then there's a bench with a lovely view of the moon on that side of the house," Vivi said as she pointed in the right direction. They set off in search of their friends.

"How can you possibly know what I've been going through?"

They all heard Zoro's bleak utterance; Sanji frowned at the misery that dripped from every word.

"_Because it has happened to me as well!"_

"Robin!" Franky broke into a run. "She never gets that worked up unless…" The two others followed him until they found Robin and Zoro sitting on the bench; Robin was looking up as Zoro cupped her face and brought her closer for a kiss. _"Zoro Roronoa, what the hell are you doing?"_

Zoro pulled his lips away slowly, taking a long look at Robin before turning to Franky. "Is there a problem?" he asked coolly as he stood to face the larger man. Sanji shuddered; Zoro's spirit exuded in waves and torrents, threatening to overwhelm everyone present. It was not a good feeling.

"Tell me why you kissed her," Franky demanded as he strode over to Robin and pulled her to her feet.

"She was in distress," Zoro said flatly. "Why don't you tell me why you haven't been taking care of her properly?"

Franky's face broke into a snarl until Robin touched him lightly on the arm. "Please…you won't understand," she said softly. "Let's just go home."

Franky looked between them as his anger boiled and finally broke. "Okay." He put an arm around her shoulders.

"I'll explain…" she told him. "Goodnight, everyone." They left without a backward glance.

Sanji nodded to Vivi, who understood that right now was a good time to let the blond man deal with Zoro. She crept off quietly, putting a hand to her ear in a motion that said _Call me later!_

They stood there for what felt like hours. Zoro put a hand to his lips, staring out into empty space. Finally, Sanji stepped in.

"Come on, big guy. Let's get you home." He nudged Zoro, who numbly followed him to where Sanji's car had been left by the valets. Sanji knew better than to ask Zoro if he was alright.

They drove in silence for a while as Sanji drove slowly through the streets. He knew to be careful at this time of night, because this was when most bars closed and sent their drunk patrons out to terrorize the streets.

"We're here," Sanji told Zoro quietly as they rolled to a stop in the special garage allotted to business owners on the street. He tapped Zoro on the shoulder. "Come on, let's go."

"Why are we here?" Zoro asked dully as he looked at their location. They were in front of the Paris Baguette.

"I'm not letting you go home until I'm sure you're not going to do anything insane," Sanji informed him as he locked the doors and pulled Zoro to the café. "At times like this, you need help. We don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I want you to stay the night. Do you have work tomorrow?" Zoro shook his head as they walked through the back door. "Good. You're spending the night here and I'll take you home tomorrow."

---

[1] Prometheus is the man in Greek mythology who stole fire from the gods and was consequently sentenced to being chained to a rock for eternity. Every day an eagle would come and eat his liver, and every day it would grow back. Yeah. Sucks to be him.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I love all of you that read my story even after all of this time. I won't be updating for at least another week or so, because I'm going to be working like crazy on my Boa Hancock cosplay in time for Anime Expo 09. I might pop up at the fanfiction writing workshop--not sure which day it is, but if I can then I'm definitely attending that one.

---

Zoro sat at Sanji's kitchen table and watched the blond man rummage through his cabinets, occasionally running back downstairs to grab a utensil or ingredient. On one of these trips, Sanji threw a pillow and comforter onto the couch ("You're sleeping on the couch. I don't have another bed.") Seeing Sanji cook calmed him down; the blond man seemed to offer a source of tranquility and normalcy that Zoro had lost that night. Finally, Sanji sat down across from Zoro and slid a bowl and steaming cup across the table.

"Food and drink. Eat."

"I'm not hungry," Zoro said sullenly as he ignored the scent of the food. It was enticing enough to bring up an appetite even in the sour knot that seemed to have replaced his stomach.

"Even if you're not hungry it'll make you feel better," Sanji urged. "Look, I'll eat and drink with you, so…come on."

Zoro sighed and looked down at what was being offered. "Miso soup?" he asked in surprise. "Why miso soup?"

"Well, it's always comforting to have a taste of home…" Sanji said sheepishly. "Whenever I miss my old man, I always make the first thing he taught me how to make—simple tomato soup. Plus, soup is a universal comfort food."

Zoro peered into the cup. "If this isn't alcohol then I'm not interested."

"It has Irish cream in it. Come on, this is my special hot cocoa recipe. I even put whipped cream and sprinkles on top, just for you."

"…" Zoro stared blankly at Sanji for a moment before snorting. "I'll drink it later."

"It'll get cold."

"Then you can make me some more."

Sanji sighed. "Give it to me, I'll drink it." He took a sip appreciatively. "Drink your soup."

They both drank in silence. When both the bowl and cup were empty, Zoro leaned back with a groan.

"Damn, I feel like shit," Zoro muttered through his teeth.

"Why?" Sanji asked. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I know why, but …"

Zoro glared at him. "I don't regret kissing her, if that's what you mean."

"Then elaborate." Sanji waved a hand. "I can't really say that we have all night, but we do have a few hours until the café opens."

Zoro put his head on the table. "How much did you hear from Franky?"

"I don't know what you're talking about—"

"Don't give me that shit," Zoro interrupted. "Just tell me how much you know."

"Here." Sanji pulled Zoro up and pushed him onto the couch. "You'll be more comfortable than having your face kissing the table." Once they were both comfortably settled, Zoro waited. "He said that you met her in class, that you guys were happy in the way that people running through fields of flowers are happy, and that she broke it off abruptly and without a concrete reason."

"She told me that she was 'setting me free,'" Zoro said listlessly. "But when she left, it was worse than having lead shackles on all my limbs…I couldn't trust anyone after that."

"I'm sure—"

"That she had a good reason?" Zoro laughed bitterly as he rolled over and stared at the ceiling. Sanji turned to look at him from the floor. "Yeah, that's what everyone said. I thought I would never forgive her, and I tried to stay away from her on campus, but when we met by chance in the library, I couldn't keep this stupid smile off my face. I was just so happy…to see her. I acted like some idiot, carrying her books for her and being…just…happy."

Sanji mulled over this for a few moments. "You know…"

"Mm?"

"You're always at ease with her. You interact seamlessly with one another with a familiarity that is absolutely astounding. She can calm you with a word or a touch, and she seems to be the only person that you'll listen to." Sanji didn't stop speaking even as he saw Zoro flinch from even these unaggressive words. "You're connected in a way that I've never seen before."

"_Stop._ Just…stop." Zoro grabbed his head with one hand as he fisted his own shirt with the other. "She has Franky now. All of that isn't important."

"Strong friendships can be just as important as strong relationships," Sanji said sagely. "Do you want that hot cocoa now?"

"…No." He felt sick to the stomach, and didn't think that sugary cocoa would soothe his roiling stomach. Something smooth and fermented might work.

"Too bad. You're upset and need something to calm you down."

"Your children are going to be so fat it's not even funny." Zoro suddenly had images of chubby little (Swedish, coincidentally, with the whole blue eyes and blond hair thing going on) children running around, pulling on their papa's apron strings and begging for treats. He chuckled inwardly to himself.

Sanji brought over two cups of cocoa—complete with whipped cream and sprinkles again—and pushed one into Zoro's hands. "Here. Now, what were you going to say before?"

Zoro held the cup in his hands without drinking. "I don't think there's all that much you have to know that I can tell you. You can already tell…"

"That she was the most beloved person in the world to you? Someone that you worried about regardless of knowing how capable she is, and someone you thought about without rhyme or reason?" Zoro nodded as Sanji continued. "Someone that you can really relate to, who knows what you've been through and who has seen it and felt it. Even when you think you should hate her you can't help but be irresistibly attracted."

"Yeah…" Zoro sighed.

_These lips…so familiar, yet so untouchable. Zoro felt the warmth and the trembling of her lips as her mouth parted slightly; he could feel her warm breath as she inhaled and exhaled, could smell her perfume. He longed to touch her silky hair, to be able to pull her into bed and simply hold her. When he used to lie in bed with her, without any need for arousal or sex, he always felt perfectly content as he felt her heart beating sedately and the heat of her body radiating against his._

_Yet…there was something odd about this feeling. He was used to the dull ache that she inspired within him; it was like a canker sore's brutal mutation on his heart. However, tonight he seemed to ache for a different reason. It was the pain of realization; the horrid prick of realizing the utter futility of what had been such a pivotal point in his life._

_Something was wrong. She felt it, and he knew it. After so long…_

_He realized…_

"I don't love her," Zoro said out loud. He was just as shocked as Sanji was to hear those words. "I…I don't love her anymore." He felt a renewed shock as he said the words that he had been unwilling to give voice to.

"What the hell are you going on about? Isn't your love what got you into this bent-out shape?" Sanji demanded. He ignored the trip of his heartbeat, attributing to his own shock at the utterance.

Zoro felt like laughing bitterly. "I've just been so used to wanting her that it was like an automatic reaction," he said. "But when I kissed her…it felt good, but just in the way that it feels good to yawn or scratch an itch. Once you satisfy the urge, it's gone. I don't know if it's because it's been so long that the feeling has just faded on its own, or whether some outside stimulus has helped me. Regardless...it's gone, in the romantic sense. I'm still going to protect her with my life."

Sanji sipped on his cocoa. Normally, he would see such a perception of the kiss as shallow and not chivalrous at all. However, he knew that Zoro wouldn't use Robin for his base needs. "So, what does this mean then? Oh damn, I have a whipped cream moustache," he grumbled as his tongue flicked out to clean up the sweet cream.

"Don't grow any more facial hair, cook. It doesn't look that good," Zoro laughed. He turned to look again and saw Sanji lick his lips slowly, with his eyes oddly perked in concentration. Sanji's tongue would flit in and out of his mouth when he found sprinkles or cream, and Zoro was mesmerized by the way the pink tip seemed to go so well with Sanji's lips. Zoro's mouth hung halfway open as he watched, only dimly aware of the fact that Sanji had asked him a question. _How oddly fascinating,_ Zoro thought. _I feel the same way as the day I had met him, before I realized that he wasn't a chick._

"Hey, marimo? You gonna answer my question?" Sanji finally wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Oi, stop staring…it didn't look _that_ bad, did it?"

Zoro shook his head slightly to clear his muddy thoughts. "I think I'm too tired to talk about this."

"At least answer the last question and I'll let you go to bed."

"Pfft, fine." Sanji was glad to see that Zoro was finally loosening up. "Well, what this means is that…she won. I'm free."

"Are you…happy about that?" Sanji asked uncertainly.

Zoro chuckled mirthlessly. "I don't know. I used to revel in the feeling of l-loving her, but now…I think I'm relieved a little."

"What are you going to do now?" Sanji asked as he relieved Zoro of the cocoa that he wasn't drinking and took a sip. It tasted a little odd, but he continued to drink it anyways; he had made the brew himself and knew that none of the ingredients could be spoiled or off. "Are you going to try the dating scene again, or just enjoy the feeling?" Neither of them seemed to realize that they had fallen into a question and answer session.

Zoro shrugged. "I don't think there'll be that much of a difference in my daily life…for the past few weeks this hasn't really been bothering me. I mean, I've been thinking about it a lot, but not half as much as I used to. It's weird."

Sanji chuckled as he drained his cup and hiccupped. "I know why. Because you met me, the devilishly handsome gentleman Sanji Baratie!" Sanji leapt to his feet and struck a ridiculously exaggerated bowing pose. "You may call me Mr. Prince."

"You're an idiot," Zoro laughed. "How much Irish cream did you put in that cocoa?"

"I might've accidentally slipped some rum instead…It tasted weird," Sanji laughed as he spun unsteadily. "It must've been the good stuff because suddenly I feel _wasted…"_

Zoro snorted. "You really are a lightweight, aren't you?" He stood and went to the kitchen counter, where he found an assortment of bottles. "Hm, here's the Irish cream…and here's the—oh god," Zoro groaned as he looked at the bottle in his hand. "Everclear? This stuff is potent! Why the hell did you even have it mixed in with the cooking liquor? I didn't even think someone who enjoys crap like wine would keep this in your house!"

"I must've mixed it up after I was drinking it…" Sanji slurred as the alcohol began to flow in his bloodstream. "C'mon, yooouu'd make that kind of mistake if you were hammered too…or tired…or somethin'…"

Zoro put the bottle down and went to survey Sanji with curiosity. The blond chef was currently beckoning Zoro with one crooked finger and an equally crooked smile. _"Hmm, red wine," _Sanji crooned. _"As we walk through a foreign city..."_

"Wine? More like 75% alcohol content Everclear," Zoro snorted. "What the hell is that song that you're singing, anyway?"

"_Nice and easy,"_ Sanji's voice rose to a crescendo and cracked. _"Moulin Rooouuuge~!"_

"Sit down and shut up," Zoro groaned. "I'm freaking tired, and I don't want to have to walk home _or_ listen to you drone on." Sanji giggled and flopped onto the floor, rolling around in a manner that would have amused Zoro far more if it hadn't been four in the morning after an emotionally exhausting night.

"_You made such a lonely face," _Sanji wailed, rolling towards Zoro. The swordsman was standing with his face in his hands, wondering what he was going to do with the drunken man rolling on the floor beneath him. Unfortunately, this enabled Sanji to bowl Zoro over. He fell to the floor with a grunt as his legs were pushed.

"Shit—_cook, sober up!"_ Zoro snarled as he tried to disengage himself from the laughing chef. "I swear, if you don't get off of me this second…"

"You'll what?" Sanji teased. He flipped Zoro over, and Zoro couldn't help but marvel at how powerful Sanji was even while being this inebriated. He looked up and saw pale eyelashes fluttering as Sanji yawned mightily; his cheeks were red from exertion and the Everclear, and his eyes drooped in a manner that was downright seductive.

_Wait no dudes aren't seductive. At all. They're just…dudes._

"I'll…" Zoro didn't get a chance to finish the sentence as Sanji's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he crumpled in a dead faint on top of Zoro.

_Your breath smells nice…like cocoa,_ Zoro thought absently as he patted Sanji's head. _Fruity shampoo, and you probably use conditioner every day to get your hair to be so soft and silky. _He inhaled appreciatively. _But you do smell nice._ "Time to get up," Zoro said as he poked Sanji on the cheek and tried to stand up.

A grunt and snuffling sound was his only response as Sanji buried his face more firmly into Zoro's shirt and wrapped his legs around Zoro's.

Zoro groaned and looked around. _There! The blanket and pillow he left!_ He strained and managed to grab the two items with his fingertips before covering them both with the comforter and stuffed the pillow under his head. _This idiot seems to be content to use me as a pillow…and mattress,_ Zoro thought. "Bastard," he said affectionately, before smoothing Sanji's mussed-up hair and settling as comfortably as he could on the hardwood floor. The tension that had seized up his limbs and blurred his mind was gone, he realized, and he had relaxed to the point of being almost peaceful. He looked down to where Sanji was slumbering on his chest, occasionally twitching as he moved in his sleep. Zoro didn't say a word or move a muscle.

He didn't want to wake up a sleeping angel.

By the time he felt a trickle of drool coming from Sanji's mouth and sliding onto his shirt, he was too deep into his sleeping state to give a damn.

---

"_If you want to be my lover, you gotta get with my friends! Make it last forever, friendship never—"[1]_

Zoro groped around blindly until he found the offensive device. Fishing it out of a pocket, he fumbled until he realized that it was a cell phone and had to be opened. Once this enormous task was finished, he hissed into the phone.

"**What the fuck do you want?"**

"_Sanji, you did NOT just ask me 'what the fuck do you want.'"_

"Who the hell is this, calling at this hour…" Zoro groaned as he rubbed his head and tried to get his bearings. He was pretty sure that he wasn't home, but his brain was too sluggish to get up to speed.

"_It's Nami, you dolt. You even gave me that stupid ringtone so you would know who was calling. I've been calling intermittently for the past two hours! Wait, who is this?"_

Zoro blanched. Sanji.

"He'll call you back later," Zoro informed her before promptly hanging up. He looked down and saw a downy head of gold resting firmly on his chest, with arms and legs splayed everywhere. Somehow, the blanket had twisted and ensnared them to the point where he couldn't even move if he wanted to. _This feels way too much like that freaking paintball match._ The phone began to ring again, and Zoro snarled before pulling out the battery and tossing it aside. "What time is it…shit. Cook! Oi, get up!"

"Mmmaahh…my lovely princess—ZORO?!" Sanji's eyes bugged out as he looked up and saw Zoro glaring down at him. "What the hell are you doing here? Get off!" Sanji struggled to get loose until he realized that he was still tangled with the swordsman. "What did you do to me, eh?"

Zoro snorted. "You're the one who fell asleep on me and refused to move," Zoro informed him. "Earlier this morning. Everclear, singing 'Moulin Rouge,' dancing like an idiot and knocking me over. Ring any bells?"

Sanji clutched his head. "Tell me that it's not the Everclear that's giving me this god-awful headache. I didn't even have a full cup…did I? Let's just try and figure out how to get out of this. Ugh, my breath smells _awful._" After much wriggling and squirming, the two of them managed to free themselves. "It seems like that was more difficult than it should have been," Sanji panted as he leaned his back against the couch. "But I finally remember what went down last night. Are you okay?"

Zoro shrugged. "Surprisingly, yes. I thought I'd be wracked with all these stupid thoughts of guilt and stuff but I'm … fine."

Sanji looked at him suspiciously. "Is that 'fine' the kind that people use to mean 'I feel like shit so don't ask, just smile and go away'?"

Zoro smiled wryly. "No, it was 'fine' as in 'fine.'"

"Are you going to call them?"

"What for?"

"You can't possibly think that your kissing her will just go away. Franky's kind of a scary guy. Have you _seen_ those biceps? Even his forceps are like Megaman status!"

"I'll call them. There's something else you should be worried about, though."

"What?"

Zoro tilted his head slightly in the direction of the duck-shaped clock that hung against the wall. "It's kind of past noon already."

Sanji's face whitened as his mouth formed an 'o' shape. Zoro would have laughed, had Sanji not looked so devastated. Without another word, Sanji sprinted to the bathroom; Zoro heard the sound of clattering and water running as he followed the trail of Sanji's clothes. _Boxers with little turnips on them? Yeah, really sexy._

"Cook, are you decent?" Zoro called as he knocked on the bathroom door. "If you want, I can leave a sign on the door that says that you'll be open in an hour."

"Yes! Please!" Sanji's voice echoed through the tiled bathroom. "And no, I'm in the shower right now."

Zoro shuffled through Sanji's drawers in search of a marker and paper. As he nosed his way through the neatly organized drawers and shelves he found a pad of paper under a sheaf of envelopes; as he pulled out the pad, a slip of paper slid out of one of the envelopes. "Hm…" It was an old Polaroid photograph centered on a crotchety-looking old man and a little blond-haired boy. _Woah, awesome moustache,_ Zoro thought as he inspected the braided affair. _He looks a little familiar though…_ The man was glaring down at scrawny the boy, who was shooting just as poisonous a glance back up at him and at the weathered hand sitting on his head. The words _'With the little eggplant, 3/2/96' _were scrawled in an unfamiliar blocky script on the back. "Thirteen years ago…" Zoro murmured as he looked at the photo. He left the picture where it was as he wrote on the pad of paper and taped it to the door after jogging downstairs, but returned and scrutinized it more closely. _The street signs are green, so it must be in Earth Sector. Looks like they're in front of a restaurant; is it the Baratie? I can just make out the last couple of letters. It must be. So this must be Sanji…_

"What the hell are you doing?" Zoro looked up to see Sanji standing in the hallway, one shaking hand gripping the towel around his waist and steaming faintly.

Zoro dropped the picture like a flaming coal and gestured wildly. "Well you see, there was a pad of paper under it and it just…fell out."

Sanji stomped over, not caring about the water droplets that flew everywhere. "Stop snooping around," he complained as he tossed the Polaroid back into the drawer and slammed it shut. "Damn, I need to buy more razors…" he muttered as he checked another drawer and came up empty.

"Was that Zeff?" Zoro asked as he pulled out a chair and sat at the table with one hand propping up his chin. "The guy with the bearded 'stache."

Sanji looked up in surprise as he was in the process of picking up the clothes he had thrown off in his rush to get to the shower. "Hm? Yeah, that was the old geezer."

"What did it mean by 'little eggplant'?" Zoro asked with a grin. Sanji turned a deep shade of crimson and snorted.

"Don't worry about it." He turned around and promptly went to deposit his clothing in the laundry room. "How long are you going to stay? Shoo!"

"Oi, I'm not a cat," Zoro grumbled. "But I should get home and clean up. I don't want to catch oral herpes by using your toothbrush. _Ja ne—_see you later…little eggplant."

"Hey!" Zoro laughed as he heard Sanji yelling as he left the apartment and went outside. As he took a deep breath of the warm spring air, he rubbed his hair and grinned as he stretched and wiggled his fingers and toes. Whistling merrily, he ran to catch the next bus.

Sanji looked out the window and his departing friend and sighed softly before going to brush his teeth.

_I hope everything turns out well,_ Sanji thought morosely as he scrubbed his teeth. He'd never admit it, but he might miss the sour swordsman if Franky ended up killing him.

---

Zoro didn't feel the impact of what he had been through until he was in the shower.

As he massaged shampoo into his scalp, he suddenly stopped and leaned heavily against the black wall tiles. Rivulets of soapy water ran down his body as he stood there, shivering, the cool tiles sucking the heat from his forehead. _What have I done?_

He turned on the showerhead and rinsed off. After grabbing a towel and rubbing himself off, Zoro grabbed his cell phone and dialed the first number on speed dial.

"_Hello?"_ Robin's voice was as even and pleasant as ever, but Zoro knew better than to trust that tranquility. This number connected directly to her cell phone, and she would know that it was his number calling.

"Hey, Robin. It's Zoro." A redundant sentence, but one that social protocol demanded. "We…we need to talk."

"_We had a very extensive conversation last night,"_ Robin reminded him. Zoro could hear someone moving in the background.

"_Who is it, babe?"_

Oh. It was Franky.

"_It's just Zoro. Go back to bed."_

'Just Zoro,' huh?

Zoro heard a shuffling sound as the phone changed hands. _"Zoro?"_

"Yeah?"

"_Get your ass down here. Now."_

Zoro thought he heard Robin chastising Franky before the line went dead.

"Time to face the music…"

---

Zoro saw a neon blue Jaguar sitting in the driveway and knew that Franky was still at Robin's house. He didn't recognize the model, but knew that Franky had access to anything he wanted when it pertained to cars, motors, or technology; it was one of the perks of being a government agent in the mechanical field. His sandaled feet crunched up the gravel walkway as he approached the door. He dug into his pocket for his keys but thought better of it and rang the doorbell.

The chiming sound of the doorbell startled him. He hadn't heard it from this side of the door for a long time.

Robin opened the door and smiled slightly. She was wearing a white summer dress made from some silky material that flowed over her body freely; dark violet threat flowered across the hems and her breasts in a swirling pattern that he almost got lost in.

"Hello, Zoro. You could have just come in. We were expecting you, after all." She opened the door more widely and gestured toward the kitchen. "I just put a pot of coffee on. Would you like some?"

He didn't tell her that he was planning to work out later and that the jolt of dehydrating caffeine would only hurt him. He didn't tell her the thousand thoughts running through his head at the moment.

"Sure."

When Zoro walked into the kitchen, he found Franky glaring at him with a beefy fist gripping a fluted glass with a gentleness that belied his stare. Franky was the kind of man who practiced a profession that required delicacy and power restraint, and could engrave wiry flowers in the ground with a sledgehammer.

"Hello, Zoro." Franky's attempts at civility did not pass as well as Robin's had.

"Hello, Franky." Zoro resisted the urge to take his cup from Robin's cabinet—she had a green celadon teacup delegated to his use—and sat down, letting her pour for him. She used the green cup. Zoro couldn't help but notice that the glass held in Franky's hand was tinted blue, just like the man's electric-blue hair. _I wonder if she'd buy a brown cup if she had a brunette boyfriend?_

An awkward silence ensued. Zoro felt that this had been occurring to him quite often lately.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Robin set his cup down on its round green saucer, and he noticed that it was black and steaming—just the way he liked it, with no sugar or cream. Zoro took a sip of the hot, bitter liquid and felt a little rejuvenated.

"It's about…last night," Zoro began. "The kiss. And what I said." He swallowed slightly as he saw Franky unconsciously lean forward and Robin sit back. "I don't really think that you're not taking good care of Robin, you know. I wouldn't trust her to anyone else."

"It's not like she's a possession that you can give away," Franky snorts as he tosses back the rest of the cola in his glass. "But…I know that you didn't mean it. You're not that kind of guy."

"And," Zoro continued as he took a gulp of coffee. He immediately regretted it as his mouth and throat were scalded. "When I kissed her…I don't know what I was doing. It was late, and I was tired, and it's just what I used to do whenever she needed to be comforted. It was just a subconscious reflex."

"It's been a long time, and you still have that kind of reflex?" Franky asked dubiously as he wrapped an arm around Robin's shoulders and brought her closer to him.

"_I can't bear to see her get hurt,"_ Zoro hissed. He took a deep breath as he set his cup aside before he upset it. "Franky, I just couldn't bear to see her in distress."

"Why would she be in distress? I only saw her in distress after she had been talking to _you."_

Zoro snarled as he stood and banged his fists on the table that Franky had crafted so carefully. His chair clattered to the ground, unnoticed. "You weren't there! You didn't hear what she said, you don't know what she's been through! I don't want her to suffer at all, even if I don't love her anymore—" He stopped, covering his mouth with one hand.

"What did she go thr—wait. You don't love her anymore?" Franky's voice was uncharacteristically soft. "First things first. Robin. It's time to clear things up. What happened to you? Why did you leave Zoro?"

Robin looked at the two men, her head turning slowly to look at them. Franky's face was pale and drawn, and Zoro's was red with fury as he slowly lowered himself back onto the chair that he had righted. She sighed slightly, knowing that things would be at a standstill until she explained things.

"How much do you know about the Letters?" she finally asked. Both Franky and Zoro looked confused as to the relevancy of this inquiry, but shrugged simultaneously. "The Letters have been around for decades. The ones who organize them are beyond the power of the government or the populations, and it has been impossible to find a single person who works in the organization that delegates who is in and who is not. Its origin is very old, and more ancient than you can imagine…"

"What are you talking about?" Zoro asked incredulously. "They're just ranks, right? How can they possibly be that important?"

Robin shook her head. "The only reason I know this is because I can…I can read the Poneglyphs," she said. "They contain far more secrets than anyone who has read them is willing to reveal. I found a couple on a University expedition to Brazil. It was buried, but after much excavation we managed to dig up the entire script. It told the story of a civilization older than the Aztecs, older than the Mayans, older than the Inca. There was a nation that went by the name of Shandora…"

"I've never heard of it," Franky said. "What was so special about it?"

"They were a very meritocratic society," Robin explained. "There was no nepotism, and they prized skill far more than mere aesthetics or rank. They used to give every citizen a rank according to their occupation and specialty, and thus their society advanced itself at rates far greater than one might imagine possible."

"So, that was the origin of the Letters?" Zoro asked. Robin nodded.

"Yes. But as they continued to weed out inefficiency and kept people with ability on a pedestal, they suffered from a great pride. There were no warriors who were more cunning or stronger, no physicians who could heal their people faster, no farmers who could grow healthier or abundant crops…and it was this that was their downfall. A great plague swept through the country, and the state physicians went through every individual and deemed who was sick and who was not…of course even their techniques were not sufficient to find every case. The ones who were deemed as healthy fled the city and tried to move north. In the chaos, the population was spread thinly across the Americas, and they were picked off by neighboring civilizations. In the end, the strongest and most prominent of them summoned their strength and muscled their way as high into these neighboring governments as possibly, but the policy of meritocracy was lost, for the most part…apparently it had remained as a sort of underground movement connected by the descendents of the Shandorians." Robin ran a hand through her hair with a sigh. "You know, I was never taught how to read the Poneglyphs. It was an inherent skill, and one that is shared among anyone who has inherited even a drop of that ancient blood."

"You're Shandorian?" Zoro asked in surprise. "I remember you mentioning them in one of your lectures while we were at the University."

"So you _do_ retain some information from my classes," Robin said with a smile. "I'm impressed, Zoro. Yes, I am Shandorian, as are my cousins Wiper and Kamakiri."

"So what does that have to do with us?" Zoro urged when Robin paused, hesitating.

"When I was studying in the field, I came across a man who was supervising the entire Brazilian excavation. No one said a word about his real credentials, because the ones that he supplied were almost insultingly false. He was a government man through and through, and we all knew better than to trust him." Robin sighed softly. "Apparently, the government is very interested in what the Poneglyphs have to say, and this man was there to ensure that anything the government wanted, they got."

"Who was it?" Franky asked in surprise. "I never knew that those bureaucrats cared a whit about history."

Robin sipped her coffee delicately. "His name was Kuzan." She pulled out her wallet and drew a picture from a slit hidden behind the ragged edge of an old receipt. Zoro and Franky leaned in to see the faded photo of a younger Robin, dressed in the khaki garb of an archaeologist, leaning against the extremely tall and lean frame of a man dressed impeccably in a three piece blue suit; a sleep mask was secured firmly around his head and only partially covered his curly hair. "He was very kind, despite his duties, and we often spent many hours talking about whatever came up—politics, history, botany…it turns out that he knew my uncle Saul very well, and that they had been very close friends in their naval training. We ended up becoming romantically involved, for a time."

"What happened?" Zoro asked. He knew that they were getting closer to the core of the issue at hand.

Robin slipped the photo back into her wallet. "We found Poseidon." When the two men only stared at her quizzically, she smiled sadly. "Poseidon was an ancient weapon kept by Shandora in case of a foreign attack. By the time we realized what we had found, Kuzan…" A single tear ran down her face, and she wiped it away angrily. Franky rubbed her shoulder supportively, and she took a deep breath as she continued.

"He gave the names of every member of the Brazilian expedition to his superiors. Every single one of us was taken in for interrogation, except for me." Robin's voice broke slightly as she said this.

"What?!" Zoro growled. "Why the hell did they do that?"

"I…don't know," Robin whispered as she rested her head on her arms.

_Robin stared at the empty campsite, where her colleagues had been running about with excitement just days before. Tents had collapsed, trunks were emptied onto the earth, and equipment lay on the ground in a state of disrepair. She looked at the solitary figure of her lover as he surveyed the damage, his back to her. _

"_What happened?" she asked quietly as she reached out to clasp his hand. Kuzan moved coldly from her touch and she faltered._

"_Robin." His deep voice was a mangled mixture of emotions, too complex for her to untangle. Before he could say anything else, the sound of other people disrupted him as a group of men in black suits came from the eastern end of the campsite._

"_They've all been shipped to Guantanamo, sir," one of the men said as he snapped a salute. He looked at Robin with an air of surprise. "What should we do with the woman, sir?"_

_Kuzan looked at Robin for a moment, examining her appearance. He had sent her out alone two days ago to barter for food supplies from a village a few miles from their campsite. After her trek, she was sweaty and disheveled. Professor Clover, her mentor, had expressed misgivings at sending her without any help, but had given in to Kuzan's quiet and forceful insistence. Clover was gone, too; she could see that his tent was dark, and that some of his most detailed books on the Poneglyphs were carelessly strewn in the mud._

"_She's not one of them," Kuzan said finally. "She's just a villager who carts supplies back and forth when we need them." Robin kept her face carefully composed into that of ignorant fear as she gripped the sack of food over her shoulder more tightly. She was beginning to understand what had happened, and knew that her resemblance to the natives was all that saved her._

"_Yes, sir."_

"_Continue with…the rest of the procedure," Kuzan said. "There's no need to take her in. She's too ignorant to know what we're doing. I will escort her back."_

"_Yes, sir!" The men began to move into the tents, dragging out all the materials that had been used in their research. Books, equipment, recorders, and other such materials were gathered into a pile. Robin could smell gasoline as one of the men liberally doused the pile with the volatile liquid._

"_What are they doing?" Robin cried as Kuzan pulled her away by one arm. He clapped a large hand over her mouth as she continued to struggle. "No!" She didn't see the match that flared, but could feel the blaze as the work of years was consumed immediately. "Why are you doing this? Where is Professor Clover? Where is everyone?"_

_Kuzan continued to pull her along until they were out of earshot of the campsite. "Listen to me, Robin. The only reason you did not join them is because I owe a considerable debt to your uncle Saul and because…" He stopped, and swallowed hard before thrusting an envelope into her hands. "There is enough U.S. currency in here to take you from the village to the nearest train station. From there, you must go to the airport in Rio de Janeiro. There is a ticket in here for tomorrow evening that will take you directly to Navarone. You must make your own way from there, and _do not allow yourself to be seen or caught._ Go to the University of Navarone and request a job. I have friends there who I have instructed to help you. Understood?"_

_Robin clutched the envelope to her chest as she sobbed. "What's going on, Kuzan?"_

_He opened his mouth, but the sounds of the black-suited men coming their way interrupted them. "There's no time to explain. I won't be able to see you again, Robin. Don't come looking for me. It's over. Now, go!"_

_She ran as fast as her nimble legs would carry her. As she fled, she could hear one of the men briskly announcing, "Reporting for duty, Admiral Aokiji sir…"_

When Robin finished her tale, the two men stared at one another in awe. "That's incredible, yet so sad," Franky said as he sniffed.

"Wait," Zoro said. "That still doesn't explain…"

"Don't make her relive this any longer," Franky hissed. Robin shook her head before sniffing and continuing.

"They found me. Everything I had built up after arriving in Navarone was in danger and everyone that I cared about…I had to be ready to flee. I couldn't risk it anymore. I couldn't risk putting anyone in danger," she said. "Especially not you, Zoro."

"You don't think that I could have handled it, yet you become involved with Franky?" Zoro growled demandingly.

"Franky is a government agent. They trust him with sensitive information, and he is partially protected because of this. Furthermore…he and his mentor Tom were the ones that would have been requested for the building of Poseidon, had the government been able to translate its script. However, once they discovered that none of the scholars that they had caught would translate the Poneglyph, they came after me." Robin sighed. "I…I came to Franky at first to seek protection. I'm the last documented Shandorian, and it was only a matter of time before I was caught. I was hoping that he could help me."

Franky nodded. "She was very frank about her reasons. I appealed to Tom, and he made a deal with the head honchos. He had initially been against building Poseidon, but decided that he would build it if they used another translator and left Robin alone. By the time he died, she was in the Letters, and they couldn't touch her. They never found another translator, either. Plus, Zoro. I'll tell you this now, because we're in a secure environment. They might have even sent Mihawk to wipe you out. I heard that he's worked for them in the past."

Zoro nodded slightly. "Yes. Not many people are aware of that, but...he told me about it, a little." He didn't elaborate, and the others didn't ask.

There was silence as they all absorbed this information.

Zoro knew, in the vaguest sense of the word, that Robin had good reason for what she had done. In all honesty, he probably could not fend off the advances of the government even under Mihawk's protection; if worst had come to worst, then he would not have been able to protect Robin—not with the little influence he wielded compared to Franky. The information was more liberating than anything else, and he felt as though a constriction had been removed from his chest. He knew that he ought to feel insulted—he did feel a little miffed—at the fact that she hadn't relied on him, but he couldn't bring himself to feel any negative feelings at the moment.

Zoro stood and stretched nonchalantly. "Alright, I suppose that's it. I'm off."

Robin and Franky stood and stared as Zoro made his way to the front door. "Zoro…?" Franky called uncertainly.

"Don't think that all this will get in the way of that project you promised me," Zoro said with a chuckle, leaving the kitchen as the other two followed. He stopped in the doorway after he slipped his shoes on. One hand rested on the doorknob as he stood in the afternoon sunlight. The bright light streamed like liquid gold to reflect off of his verdant strands of hair and made the white t-shirt he had donned today practically glow. His bronzed skin gleamed, and pearly white teeth flashed as Zoro smiled brightly.

"Project?" Robin whispered to Franky. [2]

Franky only shook his head slightly. "Confidential, babe. Are you sure you don't want to talk, Zoro?"

"I understand." Zoro's smile stretched more widely, and his eyes crinkled into a relaxed beam. "Really." He walked through the door and waved at them as he walked off, whistling.

Robin looked at his retreating back and realized that she hadn't seen him wear such a light-hearted smile for years. She put her hand lightly on Franky's shoulder and guided him back into the house.

---

Zoro walked back down the streets, letting his feet take him wherever they pleased.

He found himself outside of the Paris Baguette. A smile slid slowly across his face as he walked up to the door and smelled the scent of coffee and fresh pastries, even from outside.

The door jingled merrily as he opened it and walked in yelling, "Orange juice and eggs, cook!"

---

[1] This is from a song by the Spice Girls. If you recognized the song then you know why this is funny. If not, then… oh well.

[2] This has been alluded to a few times, by Usopp and Franky. You'll see in the next chapter. Yes, evil, but...I couldn't fit it in here.

A/N: Yes I'm sorry that the reason that Robin broke up with Zoro was a bit cliche--"It's to save you! Really!"--but I couldn't find anything dramatic enough for her. Sigh. But the mysterious Kuzan (Yes, he's our good old friend, Aokiji) will make an appearance. Far off in the future.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: So I was searching through fanfics and filtered it by only looking for stories with Zoro and Sanji…and I started laughing like crazy because there were four of us 'modern AU' fics all lined up, one after another. 'This Is Your Life' by BregoArodShadowfax, 'Water Sector,' 'Memories' by StarkBlack, and 'Stay a While' by endsoftime. All three of the others are fabulous, and I'd recommend them if you haven't already started keeping track of them.

Also, a typo was caught by Amy...thanks!

---

Sanji looked up and saw Zoro burst through the door of the Paris Baguette, a huge grin gracing his chiseled features and fair blooming with energy. As he heard Zoro's demands of "Orange juice and eggs, cook!" he couldn't help but grin in return.

"Hold your horses and get in line, marimo!" Sanji called back with a smirk. By the time Zoro had reached the counter, Sanji chuckled. "Someone sure is in a good mood. Anything good happen at Robin's?"

Zoro nodded. "Knowledge really is power." He picked up the proffered glass of juice and took a sip as he dug into his pocket for his wallet.

"Put that away," Sanji snorted. "Go find a table and you can tell me what happened when I finish making your eggs and tend to the rest of my customers." Clearly, the chef was in a better mood after his business had been put back into order and his hangover had subsided.

Zoro took a small table near the window, watching the people in fascination as they streamed in and out of the café in smaller and smaller bursts. Finally, the café was empty, and Sanji plopped next to Zoro with a sigh. He set down a tray bearing a glass pitcher of orange juice, an omelet and toast combination plate, and a mug of coffee.

"Man, the afternoon rush just keeps getting busier and busier every day," Sanji groaned as he rubbed the back of his neck. "So, what happened at Robin's?"

Zoro quickly cut into his omelet and took a huge bite. "Mmmah, delicious," he mumbled through a mouthful of eggs. "Well…"

_That's the first time he's ever complimented my cooking outright, _Sanji thought in surprise. His little bubble of happiness was shooed aside as Zoro continued to talk. With his mouth full. _Uncultured Neanderthal!_

When Zoro finished telling his tale, Sanji leaned back with a whistle. The cups were empty, save for a few drops of dark brown and bright orange liquid. Zoro's plate was empty, and the little bits of egg could never be picked up with a fork had been mopped up by his toast.

"So, you hear all this depressing shit about Robin's past, and you're…you're happy?" Sanji asks in surprise.

"Yep."

_I always knew he was a crazy bastard._ "Why?"

Zoro shrugged. "Partly because it's a huge relief knowing that last bit of information, the piece that really finished the puzzle. I kind of understand why she likes history so much now. Also…it's partly because I know that she's in capable hands, and I've accepted it. It just gives me closure."

"Is she okay?" Sanji asked worriedly. "I mean…"

Zoro nodded. "She seems to have healed emotionally. Franky's there for her too, and that must be really helpful for her…" He scratched his chin slightly. "I don't have to worry about her so much anymore, huh? She's always been able to take care of herself. Now…I just have to worry about me, I guess."

"I don't get it, though. The whole ex-boyfriend thing seems kind of dramatic. You're alright with _that?"_

Zoro sat with his cheek resting on his fist. "Mm. That part…I couldn't have helped her. No one could have. I don't understand why it happened, but it did, and there's no opposing the government…not as a civilian." He seemed fairly disgruntled by this fact, but treated it as a discomfort that he had no control over.

"Yeah, no matter how much any of us would have wanted to help her…" Sanji shook his head. "There are some things you just can't fight."

"Yeah."

They were silent for a moment.

"Fuck the government."

"Yeah," Sanji agreed.

"Yeah."

"…"

"…so…"

Sanji laughed awkwardly. "So that closes the last chapter of the Robin book, huh?"

Zoro looked at him as though he was crazy. "Are you crazy?" Yep, he was definitely looking at him like that.

"Who're you calling crazy, asshole?" Sanji bristled automatically. _Ah, the niceties and tranquility could only last so long._

Zoro grinned as he stood and patted his belly. "There's still the Epilogue, isn't there? I'll still stick around to bug her, and Franky too!" He moved swiftly to the door and pushed it open, letting in a warm breeze that ruffled his hair. _It's like…grass. Or seaweed, swaying in the ocean. A true marimo._ "I'll see you at the next Cipher Pol gathering, shitty cook."

Sanji stared at the closing door and listened to the bell chime merrily as it shut.

"Wait! Come wash your dishes, bastard! I didn't even make you pay!"

---

Sanji breathed in the heady smell of perfumed bodies, perspiration, and mixed drinks as Jyabura let him into Cipher Pol with a wicked wink and a slap on the back. "I heard you gave 'em hell at paintball!" the bouncer cackled. Sanji smiled slightly. Word traveled quickly in these places, it seemed.

_At least, word travels quickly when you manage to shoot a guy in the crotch,_ Sanji thought dourly. He spotted his friends and trotted up the stairs, smiling flirtatiously at a few girls on the way up and blowing a kiss at a particularly curvy young woman. He had dressed well tonight, sporting his favorite black vest and blue button-up shirt with dark slacks.

"Hey, you idiots," Sanji greeted the men who were sitting around and drinking at the usual table. "Where are all the ladies?"

Usopp snorted into his cup, his long nose bent slightly as it poked out from over the rim. "They're all out on the dance floor. Apparently tonight is Lady's Night, so…"

"_Hello all my beauties, tonight is Lady's Night!"_ Kaku's voice boomed out over the music, and Usopp's nose sprang back to its original position as he put his cup down.

"Yeah, just listen to this long-nosed fogey and you'll find out what it is," Usopp said.

"You're one to talk about long noses," Sanji teased. Fortunately, he was saved—as Usopp liked to think—by Kaku's announcement.

"_Single ladies, on the floor!"_ The lights went out, to be replaced by strobe lights pulsing on the dance floor. _"The floor is off-limits to men until the strobes stop! Then…"_ Kaku's shadowy figure at his turntables swirled a few records on his fingers. _"When the lights come back on, all you young bucks out there with your eyes on these ladies come out and woo your pick!"_

"It sounds like hunting season," Zoro grumbled. Sanji looked and saw Zoro knocking back a glass next to Franky, wearing a bulky leather jacket and dark blue jeans.

"Shouldn't you be worried? Robin's down there with the others," Sanji said. Franky laughed.

"She wanted to have fun," Franky informed him. "She'll pretend to be single, and we'll openly let the world know about our relationship this way. She said it would be 'romantic.'" He gulped the last of what was in his cup, and Sanji noticed that there was already a row of similarly empty glasses on the table. _Clearly, he's still a…wee bit worried._

"That woman has a weird definition of romantic," Zoro grumbled.

Sanji looked around at all the men milling around agitatedly; all the women appear to have disappeared to the dance floor. "Why don't I see any women left?" Sanji asked suspiciously.

Zoro snorted. "They get all weirded out and just end up dancing anyways. Any man who doesn't let his woman dance obviously isn't confident of his ability to keep her, anyway." His eyes widened comically. "Why aren't you dancing, Sanji?"

Sanji snarled at the sudden attack. "Oi! Picking a fight, huh? I haven't had the chance to really have a go at you for a while, have I?" He looked down at the crowds of scantily clad bodies that were moving in the crowd, and an idea began to form in his head. "Hey, asshole."

"What? Want me to hold your martini while you dance?" Zoro teased. Sanji growled.

"Shut it, bastard! If you think I'm such a _woman,_ then let's have a contest!" Sanji smiled to himself, knowing that he had this in the bag. Zoro was more competitive than anyone. He could instinctively tell.

Zoro rose to the challenge. "What'll it be, cook? I can whoop you in a fight, so you had better choose carefully."

"Whoever can bag the most women wins," Sanji snarled as he pointed at the dance floor. "When the lights go on, we'll go down there and see how many women we can get to dance with us. Agreed?"

"Fuck no."

"Scared?"

"…you're on, bitch."

Sanji grinned. "We'll start on opposite ends of the dance floor. See you later, marimo!"

Zoro glared at Sanji as the blonde man sauntered off. "That…argh!" He took another gulp of his drink and hissed as it hit the back of his throat.

"I thought you didn't dance," Chopper said as he sipped on a sparkling mineral water.

"Yeah, I've never seen him dance before, either. Have you, Luffy?" Usopp asked. He waved a hand in front of Luffy's face. Luffy was standing near the railing, staring intently down into the dancing mass of female bodies. The others peeked down and saw Luffy's stare directed at a certain bob of orange hair.

"Nah…" Luffy said absently. Zoro chuckled.

"Leave the poor kid alone. That witch has him under a spell," Zoro said with a laugh. Then, he snorted. "Just because I don't dance doesn't mean I don't know how to."

"Yeah. And just because you've never danced doesn't mean you know how to dance, either," Usopp jibed.

"You think I can't beat him, longnose? I'll show all of you," Zoro snapped as he stood, taking another gulp of alcohol. "Damn, I'm going to have to be as shit-faced as possible to pull this off," he grumbled. "Usopp, give me that cup over there." Usopp handed it to him with a quizzical look. Zoro drained the cup and tossed it aside, pulling off his jacket before storming down to the edge of the dance floor, where lines of men were already waiting apprehensively for the lights to turn back on.

Usopp sniffed the cup and laughed, tossing it to Franky. "Take a lookie at this, Franky."

Franky sniffed. "Ha, I can smell rum, white wine, and…menthol?" He laughed uproariously. "That sly dog's covering the scent of alcohol with mint! Not bad for someone who's completely inexperienced on the dating scene!"

Zoro sneezed.

---

The lights flickered on, and a roar went through the crowd. The women continued to dance, with hips swaying seductively and eyelashes fluttering.

Sanji rolled up and buttoned his sleeves, running a hand through his hair to put it in just the right state of orderly disorder.

"Let's get this show on the road."

Across the room, Zoro swallowed with difficulty and rubbed his head, adjusting his shirt and looking into the crowd uncertainly.

"Oh…….shit."

Both men dove into the crowd.

---

"Hey you guys, look! They're actually doing it! Zoro's actually _dancing!"_ Chopper squealed as he pointed into the crowd. "Go, Zoro! Go!"

"Don't embarrass him," Franky chided the young doctor. "We'll do that later. Right now, just enjoy the show as long as it lasts."

"Aren't you supposed to be wooing Robin? I already see some guys swarming around her," Usopp reminded Franky.

"Oh, shit!"

"There he goes," Chopper mumbled as Franky dashed off. "Are you going to dance, Lu—Luffy? Usopp, where did Luffy go?"

Usopp squinted into the crowd and pointed to a corner of the room. "He's right there."

"Where?"

Usopp groaned.

"On the stripper pole."

---

Sanji merged slowly into the group of women, keeping a low profile until he was in the center of the writhing mass. Flirting, he knew, was an art; it could be done silently, physically, and with complete and utter power over the recipient if done correctly. He stood still, creating a point of disturbance in the middle of the dancing women; they quickly noticed his presence and stopped, looking at him with interest.

He smiled enticingly before pulling his arms above his head and beginning to move, with sex engrained in every fiber of his body.

The girls went wild.

---

Zoro heard squealing and knew that he had to pick up his game. So far, all he had done was alienate a large group of women with his awkward and stiff movements. _I swear, I can hear Usopp laughing…_

He saw Franky dash into the crowd, barely dodging the indignant women before making his way to Robin. She smiled in well-masked relief—Zoro himself could only barely see it—before turning around and pointedly ignoring him. _It looks like Franky's going to have to work for his prize._

_Keep your eye on the prize, Zoro. Your honor. Your freaking manliness. Machismo. Shabam._

…_don't ever even THINK 'shabam' again. That's just dumb._

Zoro looked up and saw Luffy gracing one of the stripper poles, his hands on his hips as he surveyed the crowd. A few women were already looking his way in curiosity more than anything; surely this lanky boy didn't have anything to offer them?

Zoro gaped as Luffy did his brother proud and put his hands on top of his head, swaying with the music as his muscles flexed (_When the hell did Luffy get all those muscles?_) and moved up and down his body. Two deft hands stopped on his hips as he rode the air smoothly, and one hand moved to unbutton the first of what Zoro now saw as far too few buttons that sheltered the world from Luffy's chest. Luffy smiled slightly, his raven-dark hair not covered by his straw hat for once, and he winked as he pointed right at Nami.

Nami started in surprise as Luffy's shoulders and waist rocked together with the music and swung lower and lower before he rocked back up and snapped his head back. Another button was undone, much to the pleasure of the crowd.

"Tch!" Zoro snorted. _I'm NOT being outdone by Luffy._

_But…damn, Ace must have taught him a move or two._

Luffy's hands paused on the third button, almost teasingly doing the second one back up. His grin grew more widely as he heard the protests from the crowd, and he instead opted to simply rip his shirt off.

_Has…has he been out _tanning? Zoro couldn't believe it.

"Atta boy," Zoro heard behind him. Ace was smirking near the sidelines, watching Luffy dance. "Make your teacher proud."

"What the fuck have you been teaching that kid?" Zoro growled as he pulled Ace to the side. Ace cackled.

"That kid's still a virgin! Do you think I'd let him grow up without getting laid?" Ace said in surprise.

"Yes! Let him get it when he's ready!" Zoro snapped indignantly. The thought of Luffy+sex=okay stop thinking.

"Oh, loosen up," Ace grumbled. "From what I hear, you're about to lose a bet with Sanji. Want me to help you?"

"I don't need help," Zoro muttered under his breath. "I just haven't done this in a really long time."

"In public, you mean?"

"W-what?" Zoro sputtered. "Ever!"

"Zoro," Ace said, pulling him closer and whispering into his ear. "Let me tell you a secret."

"What?" Zoro said suspiciously. _Crap, I'm losing time here!_

Ace grinned. "The way that your room is positioned…when it's late at night and you think everyone's partying at Galley-La, and when you blast your techno music because you know that no one can tell which floor it's from…"

Zoro felt something twist unpleasantly in his stomach as he paled. _Oh, fu—_

"…_I can see you dancing by yourself in your living room,"_ Ace finished mercilessly. "There's an empty apartment across from yours that I sleep in, when Luffy bugs me. I never knew that you had strobe lights in your apartment." Zoro hacked at the sudden cough that was bursting from his throat and scrambled to get as far away from this man as possible.

As Zoro stumbled into the crowd, Ace laughed uproariously before running up to the DJ's table. "Hey, Kaku!"

"What can I do for you…bro?" Kaku said uncertainly.

Ace winced. "Don't use slang that Franky teaches you. It sounds unnatural."

"Point taken. What can I do for you, my friend?"

"If you want to see something spectacular then put on Darude's 'Sandstorm!'"

"Techno? Right away, kiddo!"

Zoro heard his favorite song playing and groaned. _Fucking. Ace._

_Well, I guess…it's convenient._

He had danced to this song for years.

_In the way that a noose that is given to a man to kill himself is convenient._

---

Sanji jumped at the switch in music. He was fine with hip hop and pop music (he secretly harbored a fascination with Britney Spears) but techno was way beyond him. He was perfectly capable of dancing to it—hell, he could even dance to salsa and ballroom—but he definitely wasn't very fond of it. _Not that it matters. I've got this contest…in the bag…_ Sanji's thoughts faded away as he saw gaggles of women crowding around a figure whose features were obscured in the flashing lights. _Competition, huh?_

The throbbing of the techno made Sanji's head spin a little as he watched the person's body turning green, red, blue, and orange with every passing beam of light from the ceiling. The man's moves were powerful and showed the ease of a person's comfort with his own body; spinning hands accentuated his every move, and a form-fitting white shirt left nothing to the viewer's imagination.

The beat picked up as Kaku began to mix it up, and Sanji watched in dismay as the blossoms of flirtations that he had been hoping to cultivate into phone numbers from the women disappeared. This intruder had swept the stage with his boldness and physique.

_I'm not about to lose to this bastard,_ Sanji thought angrily. He watched as the song changed, and the man stumbled from the crowd towards the bar. His shirt was ripped and his body was covered in blots of lipstick, and his green hair was disheveled from—wait.

Something exploded in Sanji's brain.

"Zoro?!"

Zoro looked and saw where Sanji was staring, dumbfounded. "Hey, cook…" His face was crimson with the realization that Sanji had just seen him dancing—_dancing—_and he immediately put up a defensive front. "Oh, just a sec." He dug into the waistline of his pants and into his pockets, pulling out scraps of paper from the most unlikely of places and dropping them into Sanji's hands. Finally, with a look of pained concentration, he pulled a few from the front of his jeans (Sanji didn't fail to notice that the top button had been undone and that his fly was halfway open).

"What the hell is this?" Sanji demanded.

"Phone numbers," Zoro grunted. "I think it's safe to say that I won this thing." He turned around, and Sanji saw that someone had scrawled their phone number across his back in liquid eyeliner. "Is that Luffy up there?"

Sanji let out a sound that was half-groan, half-squeak. "Where the hell did his shirt go? And why—Nami! Why are you dancing with that buffoon?"

Zoro laughed. "Apparently Ace taught him a few moves. He's even more flexible than Ace is. It's like he's made of rubber or something, huh?"

Sanji rubbed his eyes. "I don't ever want to see something like this ever again. Anyways, don't think you've won just yet. Let's go and count our conquests upstairs." He thrust the papers into Zoro's hands and stomped off, with a bemused Zoro behind him.

"Woah, what happened to you? It looks like you just stepped out of a war zone," Usopp said as the two antagonistic men sat down and began to viciously count.

"Fifteen!" Zoro said triumphantly.

"Hey, you forgot the one on your back," Chopper pointed out as Sanji hissed and shook his head.

"Oh. Sixteen. Women are scary, man. I thought Bon was bad, but damn…"

Sanji looked at the business cards and scrawled-upon napkins that had been given to him by his lovely goddesses. "Sixteen, bitch," Sanji snarled. "Just because I don't make a scene like you doesn't mean I don't know how to work the field."

"That doesn't sound like a very gentlemanly thing to say," Usopp pointed out sagely.

"Quiet, long-nose!"

"Heeey," Franky interrupted as he carried Robin across his arms. She giggled and patted him on the head as he put her down. "I saw you two out there. I think Luffy's going to beat you both, though."

"Nani?!" Zoro growled.

"What?" Sanji exclaimed. They ran to the railing.

"They're so competitive," Robin said with an airy laugh. "It's good to see them in such high spirits after…"

"Yeah," Franky said, listening to Zoro and Sanji yell things like "Luffy! Not the pants!" and "You shitty landlord, don't thrust into Nami like that! It's obscene!"

Usopp looked around. "Hey, where's Chopper?" he asked suddenly. "He said he was going to get another drink and then he disappeared."

"He's down there," Franky said. They all saw the distinct figure of their resident doctor, hovering near the bar. He whistled softly. "That kid's growing up fast. Look!"

They all watched in fascination as Chopper timidly tapped a girl on the shoulder, blushing as he appeared to be asking her something. Her eyes widened in pleasant surprise as she hopped from her stool and pulled him towards the dance floor.

"I think she's a nurse from the hospital," Usopp said, squinting closely. "I met her when I was picking Chopper up…her name…Aphelandra, I think? She moved here to study medicine a few years ago." [1]

"How cute," Robin beamed. "They would make an adorable couple."

"Yeah," Franky snorted. "She's nearly as tall as he is. What a catch."

"But he really needs to learn how to dance," Zoro said. He had joined them in their stalking—cough, in their observation of Chopper.

"Then I'll teach him," Sanji said. He looked slightly put-out from Nami's interactions with Luffy, but smiled as he watched Chopper struggling to keep up with Aphelandra's fast-paced dance moves.

"I don't know, cook. Maybe we should have Luffy teach him," Zoro proposed slyly.

"Oi! That's not funny!"

Needless to say, that night was a memorable one for all.

"Chopper—hey, buddy? I'm sure your 'robot' dance moves weren't what prompted her friends to pull her away," Zoro said soothingly to the very inebriated doctor as he dragged him out of the club. After Aphelandra had been pulled away by her friends, Chopper had gulped down every drink he could get his hands on to ease the pain of rejection. "C'mon, man. Let's get you home. Hey Usopp, can you give him a ride?"

"Sure," Usopp said. "Actually…" He looked pointedly at Franky, who nodded and came over as they streamed out of the club. "You ought to come, too. Franky and I…you know?"

Zoro stared for a moment before it hit him. "It's finished?" he asked excitedly. "Really?"

They nodded, and he grinned. "Alright, let's go."

"I gotta take Robin home," Franky said. "Why don't we meet tomorrow night?"

They all looked around and realized that only a few of them were sober enough to drive. "Yeah, that might be better," Zoro said with a sigh. "Take me home too, cook."

"I'm not your damned chauffeur," Sanji grumbled, digging in his pockets for his keys nonetheless. "Where's Nami?"

"That girl? She left ages ago with Luffy," Franky said as he opened the door for Robin. "She'll be fine in his hands."

"That's what I'm worried about…" Sanji muttered. "Let's go, marimo."

The drive home was quiet; after the loud music and conversations, they were pretty much wiped out and only wanted peace and quiet. As they rolled up to Galley-La, Zoro rubbed his nose and yawned. "Well, that was interesting. Er…" He seemed to make a big decision as he asked, "Do you want to come tomorrow night? To the Franky House workshop."

"Sure," Sanji said. "I was pretty curious about that. It sounds like you three have been in on some big secret for a while, and I've been meaning to ask you."

"Well, you'll see," Zoro said with a slight smile. "'Night, chef."

After Zoro shut the door, Sanji rolled down the window. "Good night, Mr. Techno Dancer."

"O-oi!" Zoro yelled as Sanji drove off with a roar. "Take that back, bastard!"

Sanji cackled. _I'm never going to let him live that down._

_Besides…he's a pretty good dancer, when he loosens up._

---

The next night…

"To Franky House, Jeeves."

"Shut up, Zoro. My name is Sanji."

"Yeah, but isn't Jeeves an awesome butler's name?"

"…shut up, Zoro."

They made it to Franky House with little incident, although Tashigi did pull them over when she saw them fighting in the car at a stoplight.

"Honestly, I'm going to have to fine you one of these days," she told them with a sigh as she sent them on their way.

"Franky, Usopp! We're here!" Zoro called as he knocked on the locked doors of the workshop.

"We hear you, you big ape," Usopp said as he opened the door. "Don't make such a racket, you'll bring too much attention. Sanji's here, too?"

"Yeah," Zoro said. "I told him he could be here. Don't worry." After they walked in, Usopp locked the door and led the way into one of the garages.

"I know the project has been delayed for ages, but it's finally done," Usopp chattered as he unlocked the door. The sound of a buzzing machine squalled as they walked in, and he yelled, "Franky! If you put any more wax on that thing it'll burn like a candle!"

"Hey," Franky greeted them, covering the corner of what he was working on with a large cover.

"Jeez Franky, just let me see the damned thing already," Zoro grumbled. "It's done, isn't it? One hundred percent, no more bullshit delays?"

"Yeah," Franky said. "We put the finishing touches on a couple of days ago and have been running a few tests to make sure it's ship-shape. I present… the FrankOpp Aerocraft!" He pulled off the cover grandly with Usopp.

"FrankOpp? What kind of a name is that?" Sanji asked.

"It's a mix of our names. We flipped to see whose name would go first," Usopp said. "It's it a beauty?"

Zoro had walked over to run his hand over the machine that had been revealed. "You really did do everything to my specifications," he said in awe. "How fast can it go?"

Sanji stared at the contraption before him. _What the hell is that thing?_

"It can go around 200…on the ground," Usopp said, flicking his nose with a grin. "But we've never tested it past 250 when the sky is the limit." He said these words with heavy emphasis, and Sanji blinked.

"Hey, what is this thing? It looks sort of like a really stream-lined motorcycle," Sanji said in fascination. "I've never seen anything like it."

"The FrankOpp Aerocraft—or aerocraft, for short—is the first in what we hope will be a long line of personal motor vehicles," Usopp said proudly. "We've been researching this for years, and had to keep revising it because we kept finding better stuff to put in it. We had to keep it on the down-low because it's, um, kind of illegal to ride flying personal vehicles nowadays. If only those idiots hadn't been sucked into that airplane engine in '95…"

"It runs on a clean energy source," Franky continued. "It can charge up with solar energy even while it moves with a hyper-efficient nickel metal hydride batteries, and there are miniature turbines that utilize the wind energy while you move as well as the kinetic energy. The titanium frame resists corrosion and is both strong and light-weight. It uses this new welding method we developed rather than screws and bolts, which makes the whole structure even lighter."

Usopp pointed to the seats and the front. "Xenon-halogen bulbs, with a bit of our own mix of gases to make the light softer and purer. Synthetic leather imported from Germany that will resist dirt and tears, and that's even machine-washable. Emergency fog lights that can pierce even the murkiest smog above the city, and…"

Zoro stopped him with a raised hand. "How does it run? I don't see a keyhole."

"Oh, please," Franky snorted. "Something this valuable? It would be prey to thieves in an instant. You just have to register yourself. Right now, the only ones that it recognizes are me and Usopp." He walked over and quickly plucked a hair from Zoro's head.

"Ouch! What the hell?"

"Look," Franky said with a smile. He straddled the Aerocraft and gripped the handlebars firmly. He fiddled with something before saying clearly, "New master—Zoro Roronoa."

"It's a DNA lock," Usopp explained. "Now this thing will respond to you first and foremost. We're just keeping our data in there so we can give it regular maintenance."

Franky hopped off. "She's all yours, Zoro. Take a seat and I'll guide you through some of the features."

Zoro sat on the seat modeled vaguely after a saddle and put his hands on the handlebars. The machine hummed, and Sanji noticed green neon lights flare in the lines of the design before fading slightly.

"See this?" Franky said, pointing to the windshield. "You can bring up any information you need on here. Whether you're navigating through radio stations, or—oh yeah! I put a GPS on here so you don't have any excuse for getting lost," Franky crowed triumphantly. "Plus, you can even surf the net using wireless connections, although I wouldn't suggest that you do it while driving. In fact…Usopp, where's the manual?"

Usopp rummaged in a drawer before heaving an enormous book out. "Here. The complete Aerocraft Driver's Manual. It has detailed information on all its features, as well as what to do should you be stupid and somehow damage it. Even you couldn't hurt it that much," Usopp laughed. "This thing is bullet-proof, and can withstand heat even higher than the titanium's melting point because of a special wash we put it through. Plus…if a driver pisses you off, you can bump 'em without worrying about the state of your own vehicle. Nifty, but you had better not let yourself fly off, either."

Zoro took the heavy book, wincing. "Do I really have to read through all of this?"

"We're not going to teach you how to activate the plasma beams unless you read through the whole thing," Usopp said. Zoro's face brightened.

"Awesome! Plasma beams?" He dropped the book on the table with a thud and began to experimentally play with the aerocraft. "This is…cook! Hop on, we're taking it for a spin!"

Sanji looked warily at the machine, but took a seat on the back. "Helmets?"

"I've driven one of these things before. Well, a motorcycle, at least. Don't worry, woman, we won't be out too long, and I won't crash."

"…I still feel like we should—AAAUUUGH" Sanji screeched as Zoro managed to figure out how to accelerate. Franky opened the door that led outside just in time as they roared out of the garage.

"We put plasma beams on this thing?" Franky said in surprise. Usopp laughed.

"Hell, no. I'm not putting a weapon like that in a maniac's hands. He already has three swords. I just said that to give him incentive to read the damned manual."

Franky grinned. "You do realize he's going to kill you once he realizes that, right?"

"…I was hoping that he'd be too enamored with the thing to remember."

---

"AAAUUUUGGGHHH WE'RE GOING TO DIIIIIIIEEEEEE—"

"Shut your piehole, cook, and stop waving your arms around like that! I don't care how strong your legs are. When we take off, I don't want to have to worry about a death toll!" Zoro roared over the whistling wind.

"Take off?!" Sanji shrieked. "What the hell do you—shit shit shit ZORO! There's a CLIFF! There!"

"I know there's a cliff, you pansy!" Zoro yelled right back. "We're going over, as soon as I figure out how to work this thing!"

"But we…" Sanji lost his voice as he felt them soaring in the air, the stability of the ground gone as they went over the edge. "…fuck."

"Hm, maybe I should have read that manual before trying to fly."

"AAAAUUUUGH!"

_Vrooom!_

"Hey, you can open your eyes, cook. We're flying."

Sanji refused to look. He just knew that his brains, and the gray matter that Zoro called his brains, were going to get dashed out on the rocks that made up the coastal cliffs to the west of Navarone. When he didn't feel then descending in a deadly arc, he cracked one eye open as he clutched Zoro's waist in a deathly grip.

"What the hell?" Sanji said in disbelief. "How are we _flying?"_

"No idea. Ask Usopp or Franky when we get back."

Sanji decided that it was best to give up any reason he had and accept the situation. "The ocean should cushion our fall if something fails, right?"

Zoro smirked in a grin that was pulled back by the whipping wind. "Nah, apparently from this height the water will be as hard as concrete. We'll still die."

"Thanks, Zoro. You could at least _try_ to comfort your terrified passenger."

"Oh, I didn't think even a pansy like you would get scared by a little thing like this," Zoro scoffed.

Sanji pressed his chest into Zoro's back, feeling the other man's heartbeat thumping against his own through layers of muscle and bone. _Wait…_ "Zoro, your heart is beating pretty quickly. Are you sure you're not scared, too?"

"…hush, you. Just enjoy the view while I figure out how to get us back."

"You really ought to take better care of your life."

"My life is my own to do with as I wish."

"You really ought to take better care of MY LIFE, I mean."

"Heh."

Sanji looked up at the sliver of the moon that hovered in the sky above the rolling waves and breathed in the scent of the ocean. _Hm, I haven't been out near the surf in a while,_ he thought as his apprehension died away. Zoro felt the change in Sanji's gripped and smiled.

"Feeling better?"

Sanji nodded.

"Good. Let's try some stunts."

"Wait—AAAUUUGH!"

---

"I think I see them coming back," Franky said, crushing his can of Cola and opening the door all the way. The aerocraft glided in silently, and Zoro grinned as he looked at the two mechanics.

"That was fucking awesome."

Usopp grinned. "It's great, right? Where'd you guys go?"

"Just through the city and over the ocean a little, not much," Zoro said nonchalantly. "Hey, wake up, cook. We're here. Stop sleeping."

"Ah, over the—over the ocean?!" Usopp exclaimed. "When did you learn the flight capabilities?"

"About two seconds after we went off the cliff," Zoro said as he inspected the aerocraft. "This thing is great…"

Usopp began to foam at the mouth at the absurdity of it all.

"So, Sanji was able to relax enough to fall asleep?" Franky asked, expecting the worst.

"Nah," Zoro said as he finally slapped Sanji on the cheek. "He fainted after I did a few loops and downward spirals."

"I-I see…"

Zoro patted the aerocraft fondly before extricating himself from Sanji's death-grip (_Really, that cook has been falling asleep on me more and more lately)_ and digging into his pocket. "Your payment, gentlemen."

"Zoro," Usopp snapped impatiently as he looked at the paper thrust into his hand. "We don't need cash. We already told you that the costs are upwards of half a million just for the materials and research, not to mention—oh dear this is a fat check," he gasped as he read the numbers. "Are you sure you didn't put in an extra zero or two or three on this thing?"

Franky looked at the check, and his jaw dropped. "Bro…even someone like you shouldn't be able to afford something like this."

Zoro grinned. "Illegal gambling really pays off, you know. I wired half of my winnings to the cook, and I'm going to splurge the rest on this baby. Plus, I'll be saving a ton of cash from fuel costs, so just take it."

"Does Sanji know that you wired your Silver Fox Tournament winnings to him?" Franky asked. Zoro shook his head as his cell phone rang. Franky jumped as his phone rang as well.

"Hello?" the two men said simultaneously.

"_Zoro? It's Vivi."_

"Hey, what's up?" It wasn't unusual for her to call him, but when she did, it was usually when all the girls needed something.

"_I was wondering what the longest stretch of time you could get off of work is…"_

"Hm…depending on the situation, I could get anywhere from a week to a couple of months off. What's up?"

"Usopp, Robin wants to talk to you," Franky said as he handed him the phone.

"_The girls are planning a trip in two weeks. Want to tag along?"_

Something twitched on Zoro's forehead at the words 'tag along,' but he decided that she didn't mean anything malicious by it. "Sure. Details?"

"_We'll meet at the Paris Baguette tomorrow morning for that."_

"Sounds good," Zoro said. "See you later." He hung up, looking at the other two men. "I'm guessing that this is all about the same thing?"

"If you just got a cryptic call from a woman about a trip and meeting at the café tomorrow morning, then yes," Usopp said. "If not, then—cough cough—I don't know what you're talking about, we were just making small talk. Not to exclude you or anything."

"You know, you can be an asshole sometimes," Zoro grumbled. "Anyways, I'll ask Vivi to deposit the Silver Fox Tournament funds into Sanji's account while we're on the trip. It's perfect." Zoro nodded as he looked back at Sanji with a hint of fondness. "Maybe we should ask this fool to come along, too. Do you think the others will mind?"

"'Course not," Usopp snorted. "He's one of us now, and I'm sure there's a reason we're all meeting at his café. Besides, he looks like he could use a little vacation sun with that pasty skin of his."

---

Sanji heard the door to the Paris Baguette tinkling many times, and he grinned in anticipation. _A large group, huh? They'll probably be hungry and thirsty, so I had better get my tough oven mitts on._ He stepped out of the oven area and to the serving counter, wearing his most winsome smile. "Welcome to the Paris Baguette!" He stopped, his mouth half-open as he saw the crowd that had just stepped in. Everyone was there, with Zoro in the lead with an impudent smile on his face and Luffy in the back, his fingers shyly intertwined with Nami's.

"Hey, Sanji!" Chopper exclaimed as he looked around curiously. "Zoro always tells us about how good this place is, but I've never been here before!"

"O-oh, does he?" Sanji said as he raised an eyebrow at Zoro. Zoro merely grunted as his grin faded, to be replaced with an acidic slant of a smile. "What are you all doing here?"

"We're here to order coffee, among other things," Robin said as she surveyed the menu. "Do you mind if we take your attention for a while, Sanji?"

"Of course not, my lovely violet!" Sanji said enthusiastically. "Just place your orders and I'll have them out for you faster than you can bat your beautiful eyelashes!"

"I'll take your house coffee with a slice of graham streusel coffee cake," Robin said as she turned to Franky. "With one Cola for Franky here."

"You know me too well," he said with a grin. "I'm going to rearrange the tables so we can talk, is that alright?"

"Go ahead," Sanji said as he scribbled Robin's order down. "Next!"

"One caramel frap," Usopp said as he looked at the display case. "Aaaand one chocolate croissant."

"Make that two fraps and croissants," Chopper said as he licked his lips in anticipation of the sugary treats. "Yum."

"One house coffee, one apple juice, two omelets, three slices of sourdough toast, one slice of mushroom quiche, Polish sausage, and three oranges," Nami ordered.

"M-my love!" Sanji gasped. "Surely you're not planning on eating all of that by yourself?"

Nami laughed. "No, it's all for this idiot," she said as she patted Luffy affectionately on the head. "Do you want anything else, Luffy?"

He shook his head happily. "That sounds like a good snack before lunchtime," he said happily. "Thanks, Nami!"

"Don't forget that you're still paying."

"Of course!"

Zoro pushed them aside playfully, twirling his pinky finger as he rolled his eyes in a motion that meant _She's got him twisted around her little finger._ "Orange juice and omelet," he said. "You know. The usual. Vivi and Tashigi are coming in a bit. They said that they'll have a slice of grapefruit, one tall glass of milk, and a blueberry muffin."

"Those two doves are coming as well? My café has never been graced with such feminine figures," Sanji cried.

"Well, except for you," Zoro snorted as he went and sat down. "Give me the whole bill later and I'll cover it."

"Woah, thanks bro!" Franky said. "I can treat you to ice cream later if you want, Robin."

"We'll see," Robin said with a smile. "Thank you, Zoro."

After a few minutes, Sanji came out from behind the counter balancing trays on his arms and even on his head. He set them down easily as he served them before settling down between Robin and Zoro with a cup of coffee in his hands. As he sat down, Tashigi and Vivi came in and took their seats. "So, what's the occasion?" he asked. "I know I'm popular and all but…"

"Yeah, sure," Zoro snorted. "Actually, we were going to discuss the details of our summer trip, and wanted to know if you wanted to come along, too."

"Yeah," Luffy said enthusiastically. "Vivi's family has their own jet that they let us use, and it's sooo cool! It's…really cool!" He seemed at a loss for what to say in the face of the awesomeness that was the Nefertari jet.

"Where and when?" Sanji asked. _ I wonder if I'll be able to afford it…but if the ticket costs aren't a factor then it shouldn't be too bad…_

"In ten days," Robin said. "We have our eyes set on Japan for a week. How does that sound?"

_Japan?_ Sanji thought. He looked at Zoro surreptitiously. _His homeland…_

"That sounds wonderful," Sanji said. "As expected of the lovely Robin."

"Oi," Franky said, obviously not liking Sanji's doting.

"I should be able to close the café and let Rain Dinners know," Sanji said. "As long as I give them notice then it should be fine."

"Yahoo! Then it's all set?" Luffy exclaimed excitedly.

"Luffy, we still have to pack," Ace chided him from the doorway. He walked in with his usual sauntering manner and grinned as he adopted a position stretched across Vivi, Tashigi, and Nami, running one hand down the cheek of the latter. "Hello, ladies. Miss me much?"

Vivi's mouth was open in amused surprise, and Tashigi and Nami's fists looked like they were ready to collide with Ace's face. However, Luffy beat them to it.

"Ow! What the hell was that for, Luffy?"

"Don't touch Nami!" Luffy growled. Ace's eyes widened as he looked at the slightly blushing Nami and at Luffy's fists, ready for another go.

"Oh ho ho!" Ace cried, jumping up and pointing at the two of them. "You two! When? How the hell? How far have you two gone?"

This time, it was Nami who punched him on the other cheek. "Sit down in your own chair so we can finish this meeting," she hissed.

Ace took his seat besides Zoro, looking very amused.

"We'll be meeting on Monday at the Navarone Airport at 7 AM," Vivi said. "The jet has been reserved for our use only, although my father will be coming along as a pilot and to conduct business overseas. He'll pick us up the following Monday at 9PM, according to the time in that zone. Any suggestions on what to pack, Zoro?"

Zoro scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Well, it gets really freaking hot and humid in the summer, except for in places like Hokkaido. I just wore whatever the last time I went."

"Really helpful, marimo," Sanji snorted.

"It rains a lot," Zoro added, ignoring Sanji's jibes. "So I guess you should take an umbrella or something."

"There isn't a lot that you need to worry about," Tashigi said. "I haven't been there for a very long time, but if there's anything you need, you should be able to get it there."

"Is there anything else we'll need to know?" Nami asked, absent-mindedly petting Luffy's sleek mop of hair.

"Well, you could get your MMR vaccinations," Robin said as she flipped through a small pamphlet. "I doubt we'll need to worry about it though. We shouldn't be going anywhere too rural, so encephalitis isn't a problem, either."

"Super!" Franky chugged the last of his cola with a gusto and burped fantastically. This seemed to trigger the end of the official business, and everyone settled into casual conversation. Sanji excused himself as he stood and went to the phone, intent on calling Rain Dinners right at that moment.

Zoro saw Sanji go to the phone and grimaced to himself. Mihawk would definitely let him take a week off, but would do so in the most painful manner possible.

---

"Hey, Mihawk…"

"How many times have I told you to address me properly, Roronoa?" The Alpha swordsman looked up from where he was working at his desk in his office on the top floor of Baroque Works. The room was richly furnished with the highest quality furniture and adornments, but Zoro knew that they had all been gifts from his clients.

"If you can call me by my last name, then I can call you by yours."

"I sign your paycheck."

"Fair enough…Mr. Mihawk," Zoro said grudgingly. He had the sudden urge to cut something up. Specifically, a mustached and goateed prick. "I'm going to take a week off starting on Monday—in ten days. I'm going to Japan."

"Are you telling me or asking me?" Mihawk looked up sternly from where he was tending to his blade with care. Zoro was slightly miffed to see that he was polishing the tiny one that usually hung from his neck, not his longer blade; it was like Mihawk was implying that Zoro wasn't good enough to see his Black Blade.

"Uh, both," Zoro said, shifting slightly. "You're not going to, I don't know, dock my pay or something because of this, are you?"

Mihawk didn't respond for a moment as he inspected the knife's condition in the light. Zoro grimaced as he looked at that blade and remembered how it had looked years ago, smeared with his blood.

"Since you will only be gone for a week then I will let you go," Mihawk finally said. He returned the knife to its place around his neck and dusted off his hands. "However, you will have to face the consequences."

"You let Bones go to Germany for _a month_ and you didn't say anything!" Zoro protested. He was beginning to feel a small knot of dread in the bottom on his stomach. Mihawk's punishments were known to be unusual and horrendously creative at times.

Mihawk ignored this last outburst and took a pad of paper and a pen from a drawer in his desk. "When you arrive in Japan, I would like you to take time to visit the Baroque Works branch in Kyoto. I would also like you to give a demonstration to the kendo class being held there. I will give further instructions to the sensei there."

_That doesn't sound too bad…_

"Upon your return, you will train every day with Bon's adult class and accompany him to the Kamabakka Nightclub every Friday night for four weeks. On the fourth week, you will perform with Bon and his troupe at Kamabakka."

Zoro stared at Mihawk for a horrified moment.

_No._

_No._

_Nonononofucknoooooo._

Zoro could only continue to gape at this incarnation of the Devil, whose stern slant of a mouth was beginning to curl into a cruel smile.

"Have a pleasant trip, Roronoa."

---

[1] Aphelandra is one of the women who find Luffy on Amazon Lily. She's the really tall one.

A/N: Yes, there's a reason the whole project was so secret. It will be elaborated upon later.

I just got back from AX09 (second day so far. Would go tomorrow, but parents .. ). I went to the fanfiction panel, which was pretty disappointing in many ways because a lot of the questions were just plain stupid. The speakers were cool though. The expo itself was excellent.

And here's Hancock! http:// timwong . com / ax / photos

Yeah I look a little odd in that picture but…it's the finished piece after working until three the night before Day 1.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Yes, I'm back with chapter 13! I apologize (again, and always) for the tardiness, but prepping for uni has been hectic. Due to the fact that I will be starting this semester as a freshman, I am going to finish up both WS and EOS more quickly than I had anticipated (save for the next couple of chapters that had been done beforehand) and will go on hiatus, save for the occasional one-shot. This means that my other projects will be delayed quite drastically...but I will not stop until my two main stories are finished, I promise.

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

---

Sanji had never seen Zoro in such a foul mood.

"What's eating at you?" Sanji asked as he inspected his closet for light clothes that would be suitable for a warm climate. He dug out a pad of paper—coincidentally, the same one that Zoro had used to put up a sign when they had woken up late—and began to write a list of things he would need. "Do you think I'll need insect repellent?"

Zoro shrugged. "The mosquitoes there are about the size of your head. You decide."

"I guess that means 'yes'…" Sanji wrote on his pad. "So, answer?"

Zoro grumbled something about "friggin' Mihawk" and "hate Bon so bad."

"Ah, did he give you trouble about the trip?" _I need a luggage bag…something sturdy and easily identifiable._

"Yeah." Zoro was sitting on Sanji's bed as the blond man perused through his inventory of belongings. He had been sitting there for the past half hour, saying little and brooding much. "He…don't worry about it. It's nothing important."

Sanji looked skeptically at his friend. "Nothing, you say? Then I guess that the fact that Bon was so happy in class today after Mihawk visited him means nothing?"

"You still go to that class?" Zoro was rather surprised; half of what Bon did could be easily translated as sexual harassment, and the other half was so disturbing that it had a category of its own.

Sanji shrugged. "It feels good to work out with other people. So, does it have anything to do with that?"

_Fuck, I don't want to tell him._

"You'll find out eventually," Zoro grumbled. "Don't forget an umbrella."

"Yes, _mother,"_ Sanji sneered. He ran into the hallway and Zoro heard him digging around in the coat closet. "Where's that…aha! Here!" He ran back excitedly and unfurled an umbrella large enough for one person, or two if the space was tight. "My umbrella!"

Zoro stared. "It has…raindrop-shaped zucchini on it."

"Good! You remember from the farmer's market!" Sanji beamed.

Zoro saw Sanji smiling so happily and bit back the mocking remarks that were hanging from his tongue. "Er. Um. It's cute?"

"I know, right?" Sanji continued to grin as he closed it. "What else will I need…"

Zoro chuckled to himself. Sometimes, Sanji acted more like a little kid than the suave ladies man he tried to be_. It's kind of endearing._

"Ugh," Zoro grumbled as he looked at the time. "I had better go. I'm pulling double shifts all week by helping the other instructors. I'll see you at the airport."

"The airport? That's in a week!" Sanji protested. "But then again…I'm doing double shifts, too…alright, I'll see you later."

The two parted, feeling somewhat unsatisfied.

---

"Zoro babyyyyy!"

_Oh, fuck._

"Get out of here, Bon." Zoro turned to where he was showing a group of teenagers how to properly perform the first defensive form.

"But—but—I'm so excited~!" Bon twirled on one slipper-clad foot as Zoro's students sniggered. They were a group of snotty young teens who were convinced that they knew all the answers to the world, and had been forced by their military fathers to take a mix of martial arts classes. Today was their first session with Zoro, and they had yet to have a healthy respect for their teacher beaten into them. It was only a matter of time. _They remind me of Helmopppo a bit, before I got my hands on him,_ Zoro thought.

"Excited about what?" Zoro snorted. He turned back to his students. "You, with the ugly face—wait, that's all of you—with the zit under your left nostril. Your stance is too narrow. Look." He walked sedately up to the student and whacked him solidly on the thigh. The boy clutched his leg with a howl as he fell. "See how unstable that is?"

"Oh, you're so cruel!" Bon wailed as he leapt over and embraced Zoro.

"O-oi! Get the hell off of me! You're undermining my teaching methods!" Zoro struggled with the flexibly Savate teacher, finally managing to throw him off. He grabbed Sandai Kitetsu and brandished it at Bon. "Get out! I'll be seeing more than enough of you after I get back!"

Bon slapped a fist into his palm. "That's right! I'll see you later, hon! I can't wait to tell Sanji!"

"Wait. Don't tell him," Zoro protested, putting his sword down.

"Why not?" Bon's lower lip trembled in what might have been a pout under all the lipstick.

"Because…I want to surprise him?" _Please, please be stupid enough for this to work…_

"Oh, c'est trés…how romantic!" Bon cooed. "Oui oui, je comprende. I will see you, adieu!"

He waltzed out, none the worse for wear.

Zoro felt a tic throbbing at his temples when his students sniggered behind him again. He turned and drew Shuusui and Wado Ichimonji.

"Oni Giri!"

The students suddenly lost their swagger when their training clothes fell off of their bodies in tatters from Zoro's masterfully executed attack.

"Run through the halls! I don't care if you're naked—go!"

---

The few days left before the trip passed in a blur of work and weary sleep for both Zoro and Sanji. Because of the trip, there were no meetings at Cipher Pol; instead, they would celebrate at a Japanese nightclub after they had slept through their jet lag.

Zoro looked at the small suitcase he had packed with all his necessities. The inn that theThe few days left before the trip passed in a blur of work and weary sleep for both Zoro and Sanji. Because of the trip, there were no meetings at Cipher Pol; instead, they would celebrate at a Japanese nightclub after they had slept through their jet lag. The inn that they would be staying at belonged to Tashigi's parents called the Hakone Gora Onsen Tokinoyu Setsugekka [1]. Locals call it the Oyster Shell, because its interior is so luxurious and it's so exclusive. It was modeled after traditional Japanese styles, but had all the modern amenities and then some. He wouldn't need to bring all that much.

He looked at his passport for a moment, seeing the number of stamps from different countries that he had visited on Mihawk's orders—and on his own whim—to further his swordsmanship. Before he had time to reminisce, his phone buzzed; the alarm he had set in order to get to the airport on time was going off. He grabbed his helmet (Tashigi had nagged him after pulling him over after seeing him ride the aerocraft on the streets without one) and his keys. Taking one last look at his apartment, he pulled on his riding jacket and gripped the handle of his suitcase firmly before shutting the door and locking it. It was time to go.

The streets of Navarone were never truly still, but Zoro had never noticed how quiet they were this early in the morning. He yawned, before pulling into an empty parking structure and riding silently to the top. There was no one around. He flipped a switch and felt something shift under his fingers before gliding into the air and flying in the general direction (so he hoped) of the airport. The aerocraft manual lay on his kitchen table; every page was already marred with folds, stains, and rips after having been thumbed through thoroughly.

---

"Wow, Zoro actually made it on time!" Luffy laughed as they met at the airport. Everyone was already there, and they had a bit of time to spare. Sanji peered over the rim of his sunglasses as Zoro rode up to the curb in his aerocraft, drawing envious stares from autophiles all around.

"Very funny, Luffy," Zoro said sarcastically. He didn't mention that his alarm clock had been set for 3AM when they were slated to meet at 7AM, and that he had needed nearly all four hours to find this place. "Where should I leave this before we go in?"

Vivi pointed to a large padded crate where Igaram was waiting, looking around suspiciously at every passing person. "If you leave it in there, then Igaram will have it loaded in the jet and we will take it with us. I remember you saying that it'll only respond to you, so we'll just keep it in there." Once everything was done, the large group made their way into the terminal and towards the customs gate. They drew stares from all around; their faces were not unknown, and a couple of them were downright famous. Sanji felt a little awkward when a group of young girls ran up to Ace and asked for a photograph with him.

Finally, they made their way to the area where their bags would be checked in. "Oi, cook. Why'd you bring so much crap?" Zoro grumbled as he looked at Sanji's bag. It was no larger than anyone else's, but Zoro felt like picking on him.

"Why did you bring so little?" Sanji shot back automatically. "But then again, I guess all that you need to take care of a plant like you is a watering can and some fertilizer." Zoro reddened but was hailed by a customs official as his bag went through the machine.

"Sir, we found a few suspicious items in your baggage. We'll have to search your bags."

Zoro snorted. "Go ahead. I don't have anything bad in there…McKinley," he said, reading the man's nametag. The man unzipped the bag, sifting through and pulling out potentially dangerous substances such as Zoro's spare shirts and socks. Finally, he reached the bottom, where a long thin case was set diagonally deep in the case.

"Don't touch that," Zoro hissed immediately, grabbing the edge of the suitcase and pulling it away.

The official held his own and clutched the bag on the other side after this obviously suspicious behavior. "Security!" McKinley screeched. "Security, we have a—" He stopped when he found himself flanked on both sides by Ace and Franky.

"Obviously you're not aware of who you're dealing with," Ace said quietly. His voice was low and more intimidating than Sanji could have thought possible from the playful man.

"I would suggest that you let us pass," Franky added. His massive arms were a lot scarier when he wasn't smiling.

"Or…do you want to face retribution from a member of Baroque Works?" Zoro finished, one strong hang gripping his bag firmly and the other fisted in a not-so-subtle threat.

McKinley gulped before waving off the security guards that had come running at his call. "False alarm," he said weakly. He quickly and neatly returned all of Zoro's belongings to his bag. "My apologies!"

"Are you guys members of the Mafia or the Letters?" Sanji asked in shock. There had been an oppressively murderous aura on the air, and he wasn't quite sure who it had come from.

Ace laughed as they finished passing their bags. "We're just people who don't like to be fucked around with."

Franky heaved his hefty bag—he had insisted on bringing some of his tools with him—over his shoulder and followed Vivi, who was pointing in the direction of their hangar. "McKinley's just an ass, anyways. It comes with being part of the White Berets. I've dealt with their kind before, and it's never pretty."

"The White Berets?"

"Airport personnel," Tashigi explained. "They're identifiably by their douche-bag white berets." Zoro laughed as he picked up his bag and followed Franky. Sanji couldn't help but note the rapid change in disposition after someone had threatened whatever was in Zoro's bag—judging from the size and shape, it was either his sword case or an extremely long dildo. Either would explain Zoro's reaction, and Sanji wasn't going to ask. _It's probably just his swords._ …_probably._

Sanji decided to do something incredibly stupid.

"Hey marimo, I guess you didn't want that idiot to touch your giant dildo, huh?" Sanji gripped the handle of his luggage very, very firmly and dug his feet firmly into the ground to prepare to sprint. Zoro smiled at him pleasantly, and Sanji thought _Maybe I went just a little too far._

"Zoro! Don't kill him!"

"Watch out for that old tourist group!"

"Sanji! Oh, what the hell…Sanji, lead him to the hangar and we'll meet you there! You can hold out until we get there, right? Otherwise, he'll never find it by himself!"

The rest of the group watched Zoro flat-out sprinting after Sanji, yelling something about "I'm going to impale your skinny ass" and "You're so dead once we get on that plane"

"They're so energetic," Robin said pleasantly.

"Yeah, usually Zoro would just give someone who had the nerve to say something like that to him the stank eye," Usopp noted. "Of course, the eye enough would make them grovel on the ground."

"The thirteen hour plane ride should be interesting," Vivi said, looking as though she was wistfully waving goodbye to a peaceful flight. Nami patted her arm sympathetically. "I'm sure they won't destroy your plane, only each other," Nami said. Everyone looked skeptically at one another. "Or…if they do get too rowdy, then we'll just knock them out with some chloroform."

---

Zoro panted as he finally caught up to Sanji at the gate leading to the Nefertari's jet, who was not looking too chipper after he had dragged his luggage and dodged other travelers while trying to find the Nefertari hangar. "I'm…going….cough…to kill you…ass….hole…" Zoro managed to choke out before coughing. "Ugh, I woke up way too early to do this sort of thing."

"Just … _hack …_ freaking cigs…try it, bas…tard…" Sanji snapped back as scathingly as he could. "Can't you…cough…take a joke?"

"What kind of a freaking—urp—retarded joke was that? A dildo? Really?" Zoro snarled. "Don't speak lightly of my swords like that when you don't anything about them!"

Sanji was about to retort when the ridiculousness of the situation hit him. "Ah…hahaha!"

"What are you laughing at, you dick?" Zoro snapped. "Because we're arguing about sex toys! It's just so wrong!" Sanji gasped. "It's—freaking—hilarious!"

Zoro snorted, his bad mood dissipating rapidly. "I still don't think it's funny but…I'll let you off the hook. For now."

"Oh, _thank you_ Lord Roronoa," Sanji chuckled. "I'm oh so pleased to have your gracious forgiveness."

"Oh, shut up," Zoro chuckled shortly. "Where are the others?"

"They'll probably need some time to catch up," Sanji replied as he set his suitcase on the floor and took a seat on it. "Hey, I have a question…"

"Mm?"

"What's flying like?" Sanji looked Zoro straight in the eye, as though he was daring Zoro to laugh at him.

"Hm…at first it just feels like you're riding a car, but then when the wheels stop touching the ground it's sort of like riding a really gentle roller coaster." Zoro tried to remember the feeling that came with riding an airplane, but it was difficult; usually, he fell asleep the moment he sat down until the moment the plane touched the ground. "It's not that scary or anything."

"In case you haven't noticed, I have a bit of trouble when it comes to heights," Sanji said, unsuccessfully trying to mask the quaver in his voice.

"Like on the aerocraft?"

"Yes, like that. By the way, why are you bringing that thing to Japan? Isn't it illegal?"

"Only in the States," Zoro said with a sharkish smile. "In other countries they're all scrambling to perfect the technology. Part of the reason that we're going to Japan is because Franky and Usopp are giving a presentation on the FrankOpp, and they need someone to show them how it runs while they talk."

"So they're like Willy Wonka and you're like an Oompa Loompa."

"You have a knack for twisting things in the most unattractive way," Zoro growled.

"There they are! Wow, they sure got here fast!" Luffy laughed as he swung his bag enthusiastically. "We saw you run past us like, five times!"

"Let's go in, shall we?" Robin proposed. "We're ahead of time, but it would be prudent of us to be ready…just in case."

Igaram (who had apparently already safely deposited the aerocraft in the jet's belly) was there to open the door that led to the small luxury plane.

"Wow, I never thought I'd ever ride on a personal aircraft like this," Nami said in astonishment as she took in the metal machine. "It even has the Nefertari crest on the tail."

Inside was all plush leather seating and upholstery; mahogany trimming; state of the art technology; the seats were arranged to face forward, but upon further inspection were shown to be able to pivot and move as the passenger desired.

"Welcome, welcome!" Vivi's father stepped out from the cockpit. "My name is Cobra Nefertari. Please make yourselves at home!" He smiled as he spread his arms wide. "Feel free to help yourself to anything from the bar or refrigerator once I turn off the seatbelt sign. We also have an assortment of games and DVDs that you may use. The flight is going to be very long, so I suggest that you make yourselves as comfortable as possible." He turned and vanished in the cockpit again, at which point everyone began to find their seats and settle down.

"I'll be right back, I need to check and make sure that the aerocraft is safely stored away," Zoro muttered, running back out the door. Usopp shook his head.

"He ought to know that the aerocraft is sturdy enough to withstand a fall from the edge of a cliff. I think he really likes the FrankOpp, huh?"

Robin smiled as Franky nodded. "It is unusual to see him get so attached to material objects. Oh, Sanji? Do you mind taking that empty seat over there?" Robin pointed to a pair of empty seats. "I'm sure that you would like to sit next to Nami, but Luffy may have a problem with that." Sanji looked at the smoldering Luffy and scowled.

"I'll let you sit next to her this time, but I get to sit next to her on the way back," Sanji protested weakly. He remembered the first time he had met Luffy, and how the lithe boy had managed to land a hard blow on both him and Zoro at the same time.

Luffy grinned. "Oh, good. You get to sit next to Zoro!"

"What about me?" Zoro climbed through the door as he took one of the two empty seats left. Sanji groaned mockingly as he sat down next to Zoro. "Oh, great. I get to sit next to _your_ sorry ass for half a day."

"You know you like it."

Sanji's eyes bugged out at the implication that _he liked Zoro's ass_ but was interrupted as Cobra's voice crackled on the intercom.

"Testing, testing…one two three…can you hear me?"

"Yes, papa!" Vivi called. "The plane is so small, do you really need to use that?"

Cobra chuckled. "It makes me feel so official, though. Erhem, alright. Please fasten your seatbelts, we're about to take off."

The engines revved as the plane warmed up and Zoro leaned back with a sigh. "I can't wait until we're in the air so I can recline properly," he sighed. "How're you holding up, cook?"

Sanji's knuckles were white against the seat as he gripped it in a tight hold. "I-I'm fine."

"We haven't even started moving."

"I SAID I'm fine."

"Oh, now we're moving."

"...shit…"

Zoro looked down at the poor seat handle and shrugged before patting Sanji awkwardly on the hand. "It won't be long. We're not even in the air yet."

"Thanks for the reminder."

"Do you want some motion-sickness pills?" Chopper asked, twisting around from the seat ahead of them to look at Sanji. "I brought some just in case."

Sanji shook his head. "I'll be fine." His pale skin had a slight red tinge that was quickly turning green as the nose of the plane lifted off of the ground. When the back wheels lifted off as well, he groaned and gripped the seat more tightly. Zoro saw the leather covers being pursed by Sanji's nails and grimaced as he made a decision.

"Hold my hand," he muttered under his breath.

"What?" Sanji's voice was strained.

"I said _hold my hand, fucker."_

Sanji looked at Zoro's open hand and seized it after a moment's hesitation, letting the poor armrest live and instead attacking the warm flesh.

"Why the hell are you squeezing back, bastard?" Sanji hissed.

"Because you're digging your nails into my hand, idiot!" "You were the one who told me to hold your hand!"

"Well, you looked like you were going to faint or puncture a hole in the leather, so shut up!"

"Then stop complaining!"

"Why don't YOU stop complaining, huh?"

"Uh, guys?" Usopp's voice was faint and timid. They ignored him.

"I don't need to hold your hand!"

"Then stop holding it!"

"Oi!" Nami punched them both upside the head from behind. "Both of you, shut up! You're too loud, and the plane has already stabilized!" Zoro and Sanji looked up in surprise and saw that everyone was staring at them.

Cobra's voice came out uncertainly from the speakers. "Er, ladies and gentlemen, I repeat…you may now walk around the cabin. Don't forget that the seats are adjustable."

Zoro and Sanji looked around at everyone looking at them and turned simultaneously to look at their tightly clasped hands.

"Augh!"

"Shit!"

They let go and the same time and shook their hands off of invisible I-just-touched-another-man-germs. Zoro saw that he had tiny moon-circles from Sanji's nails in his skin; Sanji noticed that his hands were slightly bruised and sore. Zoro and Sanji sat pointedly far away from one another; Zoro took a seat next to Franky and the bar as Sanji picked up the game controller thrown at him by Luffy and looked at the screen blankly.

"How do you play?" Sanji asked as he inspected the controller. "I've never played one of these things before."

"You're kidding me, right? Even Chopper has played!" Usopp said in disbelief. "I'll teach you the basics, and then we can move on to the finer parts of the game…Halo isn't all that hard, believe me." A few minutes later, the game was on and everyone was watching in interest. Zoro looked over the rim of the thick whiskey glass he was already drinking from and snorted as he saw Chopper manage to shoot Sanji in the head.

"Pfft, idiot…"

"So, I saw you helping Sanji through the take-off. That was very sweet of you." Zoro groaned as Robin took Franky's place when the mechanic decided to play on Sanji's team.

"Well, it was all in the name of…furniture," Zoro said lamely. "You know. The armrest and all."

"Of course," Robin beamed. "He looks like he could use your help again." They could hear Sanji yelling, "Damnit, Usopp! Not a crotch shot!"

"Karma," Zoro muttered under his breath. "I think I'll just let him suffer."

"How does it feel, to hold a man's hand?" Zoro looked up in shock at the suddenly straightforward question.

"W-what? You know what it feels like."

"Yes, but not as a man. Are his hands soft, like a woman's? Or rough and calloused from working in the kitchens?" Robin's voice was soft, and Zoro knew that no one else could hear her over the racket that the gamers were making. She didn't fail to notice the sudden flush in Zoro's cheeks.

"It feels like I'm holding a handful of shit."

Robin chuckled. "Oh, of course. I'm sure you're quite familiar with the feeling."

"Hey!"

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to save our little chef friend," Robin said, sidling up to Sanji and picking up another controller. "Sanji, I'll join your team as well."

"Ah, but I couldn't let such a delicate blossom as yourself engage in such—oh shit you just shot him in the face," Sanji's jaw dropped. "I mean, er, pardon my French…wow. You're really good at—_ouch_ that's brutal."

"Robin, that's no fair!" Luffy protested. "Namiiii, can you help me?"

"Knucklehead," Nami laughed as she picked up the seventh controller. "But then it's four on three. Isn't that unfair, too?"

Luffy looked as though he was straining to think. "I know! Zoro can join their team! He'll be easy to pick off, anyways!" Luffy announced with a sly look in his eyes. Zoro knew that this was just a trap but took the bait.

"Let's see about that, bastard," he snarled as he picked up the last controller. "You're on."

Three hours of intense gaming later they all leaned back, groaning as they stretched out sore fingers and backs. "That was crazy," said Zoro as he cracked his neck. "But we beat you."

"So, uh, how much longer do we have until we get to Japan?" Usopp said nonchalantly as he scooted away from Sanji and looked at him in a leery manner. "I mean, uh, I'm sorry Sanji for shooting you in the crotch…repeatedly."

"It's cool, Usopp."

"…not-that-you-didn't-deserve-it-or-anything…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing!"

Robin checked her watch. "I believe it is around one o'clock in the afternoon, Japan time," she said. "They're a little more than half a day ahead of us."

"So we're traveling to the future?" cried Luffy, throwing his hands up into the air excitedly. "That's awesome!"

Usopp shook his head. "No, Luffy. See, there's this—"

"Are we going to a Mystery City?" continued Luffy, taking no note of Usopp.

Zoro grinned. "Yeah, Luffy. We're going into the future. If you're lucky, you might even see a flying car…or motorcycle." Sanji smirked at these words, as did Usopp and Franky. They all sat back and relaxed, falling into fairly solitary activities like reading, or, in Luffy's case, bugging anyone who was half-listening to play with him.

"Naaaami…."

"Go bug Ace," she said immediately as she flipped a page of her magazine. "Oh, purple nail polish just doesn't work on her…"

"Aaaace…"

"Hey Luffy, Franky looks like he's working on one of his gadgets," Ace retaliates with an almost lazy sort of ease.

"Damnit, Portgas!" Franky swore as Luffy literally leapt over to him and crouched on the floor in front of him. "Now this screw needs to go…here…oy, bro, go bother Robin. Nothing ever fazes her."

After a few more rounds of hot potato (Luffy style) the last one left was Zoro. "Kuso…" Zoro grumbled, rubbing his head and pulling his chair up from where he had been ready to take a nap. "What do you want, Luffy?"

Luffy looked up at him plaintively. "I'm boooored, Zorooooo."

"So?"

"Let's do something!"

"And if I say I just want to sit here and sleep?"

Luffy looked around furtively and Sanji watched in fascination as Luffy leaned over and whispered something into Zoro's ear. Sanji leaned forward eagerly to hear but when he heard "Usopp" and "tell Sanji," Zoro immediately put his hands up in defeat.

"Hey hey now, no need for that," Zoro said sourly. "Fine, what do you want to do?"

"Let's…" Luffy looked around with one finger on his lower lip and his eyes wide. "Vivi, what is there to do on this plane?"

Vivi looked up from where she was talking to Robin. "Hm? Well, we could do more group activities. Zoro, we should try not to sleep yet," said Vivi. "By the time we get there it'll be very late at night. If we fall asleep when we get there then we shouldn't have to worry about jet lag." She looked around the cabin and sighed as she pulled out a deck of cards. "Spoons, anyone?"

"Spooons!" cried Luffy excitedly. "I love that game!"

Vivi went to a drawer and pulled out a handful of stainless steel spoons. "Okay, everyone playing, let's get into a circle…we'll sit on the floor for this."

"I'll sit this one out," Robin said as she pointed to a pamphlet she was reading. "I'm looking up other things to do in the area we're going to."

"Oh, Robin is so smart," Sanji cooed as he took a seat next to Zoro. "Budge up, you big lump." He squeezed in between Luffy and Zoro as he picked up the cards dealt to him. "So…how do you play?"

Zoro pointed to the eight spoons in the middle of the circle. "See those? There are only enough for eight of us, but there are nine of us sitting here. We pass the cards around—oi!" Zoro glared at Luffy, who had already started the game in the direction away from him and Sanji. "Wait for me to finishing explaining, asshole!"

Luffy cackled as he looked at the cards and threw them to his left as fast as he could. "Shishishi, gotta hurry, gotta hurry!"

Zoro snorted as he waited for the cards to come around the circle. "When you get a card, you can switch it with one in your hand and throw the other card aside or just keep passing it along. If you get four of a kind, then grab a spoon. If someone else gets four and you see that person grab a spoon, then you can grab one too, even if you don't have four. Ugh, here we go." He began to flip the cards and put them face down next to Sanji. "Hurry up, you fool, or you'll fall behind!"

"Ack!" Sanji's hands moved as fast as he could to keep up with this group. _I've never seen anyone's hands move so quickly!_ he thought in disbelief. _I knew that these people were extraordinary, but hot damn!_ He looked at the number of spoons in the middle. _One, two, three, four, five, six…_ His eyes widened. _When did they grab two?_ He surreptitiously snuck a spoon from the middle; he saw that Nami and Ace were flipping cards without looking at them, and could see a spoon tucked under their fingers. _Ah._ Suddenly, Luffy's hand shot into the middle as he threw his cards into the air in the mad scramble for spoons. Zoro nearly punched Sanji in the eye as he dove for one, and Usopp and Chopper were wrestling on the side (with Usopp being nearly suffocated in the process). Franky held a slightly bent spoon in his hand as he apologized to Tashigi, who he had elbowed. In the end, Zoro had been thwarted by a particularly vicious pinch on Luffy's end, and his hands were empty.

"So, what happens now?" Sanji asked. Luffy grinned evilly.

"Weeell, we have a couple of punishment games." Nami sidled up to him with a smile. "Perhaps we ought to ask an, ah, _impartial_ person what to do. Robin?"

"Shit," Zoro muttered. Sanji chuckled. Robin was already smiling disarmingly as she looked at the group.

"Does anyone have a marker?"

Usopp pulled a permanent marker from his pocket. "Here, Robin." Robin stood and gently pushed the kneeling Zoro onto the ground with one hand as she straddled him on the lap with her legs on each side of his.

"Woah," Sanji said. "Nice position."

Franky scowled. "R-robin?"

Zoro was scooting back in a manner that would have been called 'nervous' had he been a lesser man. She pulled him forward by the front of his shirt and unscrewed the cap of the pen with her teeth.

"'S' for 'spoons,'" she said in a sultry voice as she drew a small but visible 's' on Zoro's forehead. She stood, recapping the pen and smiling again. "Whoever gets all the letters of the word 'spoons' first will face a punishment that I will determine once that person gets the last letter. Agreed?" Zoro's "Hell no!" was lost in a chorus of "Yes!" Sanji gulped as they regrouped in a circle. He had a feeling that they were all in danger of grave injuries, now that Zoro was getting serious.

---

Eight people nursed bruises. Usopp swore that his nose was broken, again. (_Again?_ Sanji thought.) Luffy and Zoro had bits of green and black hair stuck under their fingernails, respectively. Nami's knuckles were red and sore from the impact of fist against face. Vivi was untouched, but Sanji was carrying all of her injuries. Tashigi was also relatively unharmed, but that was because anyone who had gotten in her way learned not to cross her. They all had at least three letters on their faces. Sanji had five. Zoro had six. Zoro was screwed.

"Zo~ro."

"Shut up, Luffy."

"Zoooo~roooo!" Luffy's voice was joined by everyone else's as they chanted in a sing-song manner.

Zoro groaned. "Okay, Robin. What's my punishment?" _Take it like a man, take it like a man…_

Robin closed her traveling brochure like Saint Peter passing judgment. "I'll let you know before we land. For now, you can relax."

Sanji snorted with laughter. _Now he won't be able to relax for fear of what's going to happen to him,_ he thought. _I almost feel sorry for the bastard._

"How much time do we have left until landing?" Zoro grumbled.

"You spent an astonishing three hours playing that game," Robin informed him. "So we have about seven hours left."

"_Seven?"_

"Oh my god!"

"That's so long!" A chorus of complaints met Robin's words.

"There's a game that might take up all those seven hours," she said affably as she pulled out another book and began to read. "It's called 'Let's see who can sit on a knife the longest.' Who wants to play?" Everyone quieted down.

"Wow," Sanji whispered. "Even Robin seems to be getting a bit of cabin fever. I've never seen her be so blatantly violent. Usually it's just suggestive threats and the like." Zoro shrugged in response as he pulled out a battered old book. Sanji snuck a peak at the spine and saw that it was Sun Tzu's _The Art of War._ "You read stuff like this? Wait." He paused. "You _read?"_

"Very funny," Zoro muttered. "Yes, I _read._ I'm not an illiterate idiot who only swings swords and drinks beer all day."

"Funny, because—"

"Oh, you're such a comedian," said Zoro sarcastically. "Didn't you bring anything to keep you busy?"

"You're here. Why should I have?"

For some reason, Zoro felt strangely pleased to hear this. "Well…" _Don't act like Chopper when he's complimented, damnit! Don't do it! _"Hearing you say that doesn't make me happy at all." _You dumbass, you did. [2]_

"Well, it was an insult, you know. This is why you're entertaining." Zoro rubbed his temple; for some reason, it was very hard to concentrate on wartime strategies when he felt the urge to kill something with his hands.

"Hey, cook."

"Yeah?"

"Two Truths and a Lie."

"…what?"

"Let's play Two Truths and a Lie."

"What the hell is that?"

"You don't play games much, do you?" Zoro sighed. "Okay, so you have to say two truths and one lie and the other person has to guess which one is which."

"In that order or what?"

"No, moron!" Zoro rubbed his temples. "You say two truths and a lie in any particular order. You go first."

Sanji sighed. "Why do I have to go first?"

"Because I said so, and apparently I'm supposed to be entertaining you."

"…maybe I should have designated Vivi or Nami or Robin or Tashigi as my entertainer—"

"Two truths and a lie. Now."

"Fine, fine…um…" _It's a lot harder to do than it seems._ "Okay. First truth or lie! My favorite spice is cumin."

"What the hell is cumin?"

"It's a spice, now hush."

"Oh, thanks for enlightening me."

"Hush! Second…I'm allergic to honeydew melons."

"You must think about food as much as Luffy," Zoro said drily.

"Third…" Sanji persevered. "…."

"Yes?"

"I…once kissed a man when a girl asked me to."

Zoro stared before immediately saying, "Number three. It has got to be number three."

Sanji looked up at the ceiling as his pale cheeks flushed slightly. "You know, I'm not allergic to anything, which is a great asset as a chef…"

"Oh, that's interes—wooooaaah," said Zoro. "You—a guy—really? For a woman?"

Sanji twiddled his thumbs. "One day, I'll tell you more about it. When there aren't as many people around." Zoro looked around at the other travelers. Everyone else had already fallen asleep or had headphones in their ears, while Sanji and Zoro were sitting in a corner, slightly secluded from the others.

"I don't think anyone else is listening," he murmured, dropping his voice slightly. "Come on. Spill."

Sanji shook his head. _I knew it was a bad idea to use that one._

"Er, please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with whipped cream and a maraschino cherry on top?"

Sanji stared. "Please do not do that."

"What?"

"…I _love_ maraschino cherries. I was involved with this girl with a food fetish who would spread whipped cream and cherries all over—"

Zoro had a feeling that the fact that they'd been cooped up in the same small space for such a long period of time was beginning to addle both their brains. "Let's, uh…stop. I guess it's my turn?"

"Yep. Go."

Zoro furrowed his brow, knowing that he'd have to have some sort of dirt on himself to lure out Sanji's "I kissed a boy and I liked it" story [3]. "I once made myself sick in Japan when I ate a bowl of wasabi."

"Even you wouldn't be that stupid." Zoro ignored him.

"When I tried dying my hair black, I stole—er, I bought the wrong color and ended up walking around with purple hair until it eventually washed out."

"Okay, that sounds more like something that you would do."

Zoro hesitated slightly before saying number three. "I once woke up in bed next to Usopp."

"Lies. That last one was a lie," Sanji said immediately. "There's no way in hell…"

"I only ate a spoonful of wasabi, not a bowl. How the hell would I get through a bowl of that crap before realizing that 'ouch, this is extremely painful in the worst way possible?'" Zoro shook his head. "You're an idiot, cook."

"So, how did it happen?"

"I'm not telling you. You wouldn't tell _me_ about your homosexual escapades."

"That's because it was just one time! For a girl!"

"If a girl told you to castrate yourself, would you do it?"

"…that's beside the point here…"

"I'll tell you what," said Zoro. "You tell me, and I'll tell you."

"No."

"No?" _How could he not have taken the bait?_

"Yes, no."

"You really don't want to know about what happened that night?"

Sanji shuddered. "Between you and Usopp? I hope that those tales are buried deep underground and left to be incinerated by Beelzebub himself. No, I'd rather not hear about it."

"Fine." Zoro turned away and closed his eyes, fully intending to take a nap. Sanji didn't let on that he was actually burning with curiosity. _Damnit, you're supposed to press more and I'll give in!_ he thought furiously. _Okay, how am I going to bring this up without sacrificing my dignity…_ Zoro frowned as he felt someone poking him in the ribs. "Mm?"

_Poke, poke._

"I know it's you, love-cook. What do you want?"

"Love-cook? When did you think that up?" Sanji paused. "I kind of like it."

"Ugh…just tell me why you're disrupting my nap."

"Isn't napping now going to mess you up with jet lag?"

"Like I care," Zoro grumbled. "Is that all you wanted to ask?"

"What happened with you and Usopp?" Sanji pleaded. He pulled on his best begging face. "If you tell me, I'll tell you about…the kiss." Zoro looked around and saw that everyone around them was trying very hard to pretend like they weren't listening. _Later,_ he mouthed at Sanji. _For now, just sleep the hours away._

Sanji sighed. "Fine," he muttered. "You had better keep your promise." They sat in silence, save for the brief interval of food provided by the airlines.

---

"Zoro?"

"Nnnggh?" Zoro cracked one eye open and saw Robin looking down at him. "Whassamatter, R'bin?"

She smiled sweetly. "We have thirty minutes left until landing. I thought you should get your punishment over with. From the Spoons game."

Zoro groaned as he stood and stretched. "Everyone's sleeping?"

"Yes. I had to put some pills into Luffy's juice to get him to sleep, but they're all sleeping now. I'll wake them up when we're about to land."

Zoro decided not to dwell on the fact that Robin had used sleeping pills on Luffy just to get him to calm down. "What's my punishment? I'm surprised you're not waking everyone up to see."

"Oh, they'll see, eventually. Come here?" She led him by one hand into the bathroom. While it was roomier than most airplane restrooms, it was still quite small and cramped for two people. "Take off your clothes."

"…what?" Zoro stared as Robin crossed her arms, tapping the floor patiently. "You're not on anything, are you?"

She sighed as she shut the door and began to pull at his shirt. "Don't be shy. You don't have anything that I haven't seen already."

"Robin, why are you undressing me? Not that I mind, of course, but—oh hell. No." Robin was holding up something that was in shades of pastel green and white and that was definitely not for men to wear.

"What?"

"I'm not wearing that."

---

"Please rearrange the seats to their normal positions. We will be landing in five minutes." Cobra's voice crackled over the intercom, waking everyone up.

"Mmmm, that was a nice nap. Woah, it's dark outside!" Chopper cried as he looked out the window. "Usopp, look! You can see the lights of the city!"

"That's amazing!" said Luffy as he elbowed Usopp out of the way for a better look.

Sanji went to another window and looked at the cityscape. _So this is Japan. From above, it doesn't look all that different from anywhere else…except there's a lot of ocean._ "Hey, Zoro, look." When Zoro didn't answer, he looked around.

"Zoro?"

"_Don't say a word."_ Sanji felt a rough hand on his mouth as he was pulled into a seat next to the window seat.

"Mmfph!" Sanji struggled. "What are you doing, bastard?" he hissed. Suddenly, he stopped short as he took in Zoro's appearance. "What the hell are you wearing?"

"Shut up and sit down." Obviously, Zoro had made Sanji sit next to him to block him from everyone else's sight.

Sanji chuckled. "Really, though. What is that, a dress? And—you're even wearing makeup!" Sanji poked Zoro's cheek, which was slathered in cosmetic powder. "Rouged lips, eyeliner…you're quite cute, you know." Zoro punched him in the arm, and Sanji winced. It had still been worth it. "I'm guessing this is your punishment?"

"No shit, Sherlock." The light for the seatbelts went on, and they began their descent. Sanji swallowed as he felt the plane moving down; it was a bit disconcerting. He didn't notice that he had sought out Zoro's hand until he felt Zoro squeeze his hand slightly. Despite Sanji's teasing, Zoro was still willing to help Sanji; the chef smiled slightly. The smile vanished when Zoro kept squeezing; it was replaced by a painful grimace. Zoro smiled sadistically. When they landed, Sanji decided to pay Zoro back for crushing his hand.

"Zoro, what on _earth_ are you wearing?" Sanji said loudly. Everyone turned to look as Zoro groaned.

"Zoro, when did you change? Is that a _kimono?"_ Tashigi chuckled as she covered her mouth with her hand. "You look so…pretty," she snorted.

"Oy! Urusei!" Zoro picked up his bag and stormed out of the cabin as soon as the door opened to escape the peals of laughter on his tail. Sanji grinned as he saw that Zoro was even wearing those quaint little wooden sandals that looked so uncomfortable to wear and walk in, and that his movement was restricted by the tight fit of the kimono. The pattern was a creamy white with pale green flowers and leaves in the silky material.

"Actually," Robin said, "It's a yukata. A bit lighter, for summer weather."

"Where did you get one that would fit him?" Franky asked in fascination. "I mean, he's a pretty trim guy, but with those shoulders…come to think of it, you're quite a bit taller than he is, so it can't have been yours…" Robin smiled mysteriously before picking up her bag and following Zoro out the door.

"No way," Ace said. "She must have been planning to make him wear it before coming on the plane. Her foresight and planning…are scary." One by one, they left the plane and entered the humid heat of the Japanese summer climate.

"Oof," Sanji grimaced as he felt a trickle of sweat already forming at his temples at the heat. "Isn't it late at night right now? Why's it so hot?" He could hear cicadas droning amidst the not-so-distant honking of taxis and roar of other airplane engines. "Marimo! Wait for us!" Zoro was already far off in the distance, walking as fast as his sandals would let him.

"Do you think he realizes he's going the wrong way?" Usopp wondered out loud. Everyone shook their heads.

---

Zoro stormed through the airport, ignoring the stares he was getting when people realized that despite the fact that he was wearing a woman's yukata—the design was rather feminine, and Robin had even made him wear a stuffed bra—that he was a man, damnit! _Wait, where the hell am I? I could have sworn that I walked past this baggage claim carousel twice already…_

"Excuse me, miss. Do you need help finding your way?" Ace sniggered as he offered his arm to Zoro. "It looks like you're lost. Why don't you come home with me?"

"You guys suck," Zoro growled as he rejoined the group. "Let's get out of here."

"Say 'onegaishimasu,'" Tashigi teased. "Neh, Zoro-chan?" All the way on the ride from the subway to the inn, Zoro faced similar torments. In the crowded subway, there was no escaping the stares of the locals as he became increasingly red-faced from the attention and embarrassment. Sanji was surprised that there were so many people around even at this time of night, but with the population density of the country on such a small piece of land, it was to be expected. Sanji chuckled as he saw that even though the yukata was strained at the shoulders, Zoro's body was still quite shapely through the silk. _If I couldn't see his face or shoulders, I might think he was a pretty curvy chick,_ Sanji thought. _With…curves of iron and steel, that is._ They arrived at the inn and checked in with the innkeeper who had just stubbed a cigarette onto a mound of ashes that sat in a small ashtray at the front desk.

"Welcome to the Hakone Gora Onsen. Name, please?" Her voice was calm and bore faint traces of an accent in her English.

"Obasan!" Tashigi ran forward and embraced the slim woman. "It has been a long time! Everyone, this is my aunt Shakuyaku—or Shakky, for short. Obasan, this is…everyone."

"Oh, this is your group?" Shakky smiled, her lush lips spread in a smile not unlike Robin's. "Welcome to the Oyster Shell. Please, come this way. Tashigi-chan, your parents are out inspecting their other properties and will not be back for some time." She led them through many corridors lined with highly polished wooden walls and rice-paper doors. It was extremely traditional in design, but the lamps along the walls emitted a soft electric glow, and they could hear the flush of a toilet as they passed a bathroom. "Here is your deluxe suite…enjoy." She handed them all a set of keys and bowed as she left them.

"Wow, these rooms are amazing," Vivi said appreciatively as they spilled into the rooms. "It looks like these are all doubles, so we'll go two to a room."

"We get our own pool! Cool!" Luffy crowed as he dashed out through a back door into a steaming pool. "Yowch! Hot, hot!"

Ace shook his head as he watched his little brother dance around to try and cool himself off. "Well, looks like I'll be rooming with my little brother. No one else would be able to stand him."

"These beds are so comfortable." Chopper's voice drifted out of a side sliding door, and Zoro peered in to see that he had collapsed onto one of the two large beds in his room. "Usopp, want to room with me?"

"Sure," Usopp said as he jumped onto the other bed. "Wow, down feather beds! This is great!"

Sanji yawned as he wandered into a random bedroom and fell onto the bed face-first with a slight _flump._ "Man, I'm bushed…I'm claiming this room." It didn't take long for the weary chef to fall asleep on the soft comforters and mattress. Zoro looked around as everyone drifted off to their respective rooms in pairs: Robin and Franky, Vivi and Nami, Ace and Luffy, Chopper and Usopp. Tashigi was staying with her aunt in another room, but promised to rejoin them after visiting her family in the next few days. That left him with Sanji. _Great, just with the most intolerable bastard,_ he thought without much conviction. _Well, he's not so bad, I guess. At least he doesn't snore._ He chuckled as he went into the room and found Sanji in a belly-flop position on the bed.

"Cook? You awake?" A soft snuffling sound that he was not unfamiliar with was the only response. "You'll wake up with back cramps if you sleep like that. Hello?" He sighed, dropping his bag on the floor and pushing Sanji into a more comfortable position. "There we go…" Zoro took one last look at Sanji's face before falling on his back on his own bed. For some reason, sleep did not come easily that night.

---

[1] The name of this onsen is real, and it's supposed to be one of the best in Japan. However…the rest is just stuff I made up, haha! [2] Wouldn't it be adorable if Zoro did the whole Chopper-wiggly-dance? [3] Song by Katy Perry. At the moment we have no idea if Sanji did like it or not. A/N: I have been torturing Zoro a lot, of course…but I'm just trying to balance out all the Sanji-fails that I've been putting in! I swear!


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Chapter 14, the only one I had had any work on. These things take a while…I'll usually go through at least 5 or 6 times to add or take out things, sigh. Thank you for waiting.

---

_Mmmmm, sooo sooooft……_

Sanji blinked as he felt filtered sunlight warming his face, and grimaced as he realized from the grittiness of his mouth that he hadn't brushed his teeth; as he rubbed a hand across his face, he realized he hadn't washed his face, either. _Man, my hair could use a good washing, too. This climate is just—wait. I'm in Japan. I. Am. In…Japan._

Sanji sat up and blinked again as he took in the surroundings that he had been far too tired to see the morning before. He saw lacquered furniture of the finest quality, including a bed stand, table, and two chairs over gleaming wooden floor panels (_Cypress, or cedar?)_ encompassed by clean white walls framed by ornate sandalwood carvings. The beds were set low to the ground in a manner similar to Zoro's, but with ground-set bed frames. Sanji himself was surrounded by a cloud of airy pillows and comforters that enveloped him in the most delicious way, and he hummed in pleasure as he looked out a round window and saw a picturesque scene of the hot springs and pine trees.

_Looks like there's a plant inside, too,_ Sanji thought wryly as he turned to look at Zoro's slumbering form in the bed next to his. _I'll let him sleep._ Climbing out of bed silently and padding across the room, he quietly opened the door and went into the hallway. From the sound of it, everyone else was still sleeping; he explored until he found the bathroom, which was equipped with a cabinet full of all the soaps and cleaning agents he could want. The floors were tiled with charcoal-black tiles while the walls were covered with pearly white ones. A large mirror and vanity graced one side of the bathroom while a sink sat opposite; a shower and bathtub were visible through a doorway opposite the entrance. He pulled off his clothes and dropped them into a basket conveniently located by the door before grabbing a few bottles from the shelves and running the water.

"Ah, that's much better," Sanji sighed as he rinsed off the grime of traveling. Once he had cleaned up to his own standards (there was a box of toothbrushes and toothpaste, too) he wrapped a towel _(This place is so convenient)_ around his waist and went back into the hallway, rubbing his head with a smaller towel. He found everyone else waking up and stumbling out of doorways here and there.

"Good morning, Sanji," Robin said with a smile as she came out of her room; Sanji didn't fail to notice that she looked perfectly composed and neat, and that she had probably washed up before going to bed last night. "Or, as the Japanese would say, 'ohayo gozaimasu.'"

"Good morning," Sanji said with a smile. "Hungry? Perhaps I should whip up a—" He stopped short. "We don't have a kitchen in here, do we?"

Robin shook her head. "I believe that they will cater to our needs in that area, though. Can you smell that?"

Sanji's sensitive nose had already picked up the scent of something delicious in the air. "Hm, a hint of garlic, fermented soy…I had better go wake up the Neanderthal, then."

Sanji stifled a shout of laughter when he saw Zoro in bed. "Wake up, marimo. Do you realize that you're still wearing the yukata?"

Zoro shot upright at these words as he began to claw at the yukata. It was already halfway open from his running and sleeping, and Sanji snorted as he saw traces of makeup on the pillows and on Zoro's face.

"You know, I bet there are prostitutes in the red-light district who are reacting just like you are right now," Sanji said. He darted out the door as Zoro picked up his sandal and threw it at him.

"Is Zoro awake?" Ace asked. "He told me he'd take me to this great bar…"

"At this time of day?" Sanji looked at the clock and blanched. "Oh…it's already 2 in the afternoon, huh."

Ace shrugged. "I mean, we'll do other stuff on the way. I think I'm going to skip this place's hospitality and just explore the area for something to eat. Anyone with me?" The guys all chose to go with Ace, while the girls chose to eat at the inn and plan out an agenda with Tashigi.

"I'll wait for this idiot to wake up," Sanji said as he flicked a thumb in the direction of the bathroom (Zoro had sprinted into the bathroom without anyone noticing). "I'm sure he knows of somewhere good to eat. Let's meet up again for dinner at six?"

"Sounds good. Later!"

Sanji sat in a large leather chair as he waited for Zoro to get out of the bathroom. He had donned a light blue polo shirt with cargo shorts; comfortable, yet versatile.

Zoro burst out of the bathroom with a scowl, wearing nothing but a fresh pair of boxers and dripping water everywhere.

"That devil woman!" he roared. "Where is she?"

"They went out for breakfast—er, lunch," Sanji said. "What's wrong?"

"Look! At my eyes!"

Sanji looked closely and sniggered. "Why are you still wearing eyeliner, dude?"

"_She used permanent marker! On my eyes! I can't get it off!"_ Zoro wrung his hands as he looked around for some solution to his problem.

"Just wait it out. I'm sure it'll come out in a few days," Sanji said soothingly. "Don't rub at it too much, or your eyelashes will all fall out."

"Pfft, like I care about that. So, why are you still here if they're all gone?" Zoro asked as he trotted back into the bathroom, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Sanji followed, feeling a bit odd when he had a whiff of Zoro after he had showered; it was strange to think that after using the same soaps, they smelled the same.

"I decided to hang back in case you got lost," Sanji jibed as he leaned against the marble-topped counter. "What do you feel like eating?"

"Yakitori sounds really good right now, actually," said Zoro after he spat a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. "Or okonomiyaki…you know, good street food."

Sanji shrugged. "I'll just follow you for now. You know what's good, right?"

"Yeah. Good and cheap." Zoro took out a small white bottle and puffed baby power over his torso, rubbing it in and grunting in satisfaction.

"Baby powder? Don't forget to powder your bottom," Sanji teased. _Seriously, it's like this guy is just asking to be teased._

"Actually, I just like walking around slathered in crack," Zoro said sarcastically. "Come on, there's a little stall not too far by the subway." Satisfied with his powdering, he pulled on a white shirt and black denim pants with his usual military boots.

"Do you have any yen?" Sanji asked curiously as they walked out the door, locking it behind them. "We didn't really have time last night to exchange or anything…"

"Pah, I have more than enough yen leftover from my last trip to tide us over until we can get to a back," Zoro snorted as he pulled out his wallet and showed Sanji. "I love the currency here."

Sanji picked out a 50 yen coin. "It's quite…pretty, I guess. What's the point of the hole in the middle?"

"Something about how they used to string them along. Not all of the coins have it." Zoro stopped as they stood in front of the subway station; it was very close to their inn. "Now, how do we get there…"

Sanji groaned. "I just realized that I'm relying on _your_ sense of direction. We might as well wait for the others to get back so we can eat dinner, at least."

"Shut up. I know where I'm going…these lines have just changed since last time," Zoro grumbled as he squinted at the map. "So take the Number Three down two stops and transfer to the Number Five…"

"We're doomed."

---

"Well, I got us _somewhere."_

"I don't see a yakitori stall anywhere."

"Um…"

"Actually, what I _do_ see are high-end sushi bars, and—" Sanji gawped as he saw a made-up geisha waving from a window. Despite the fact that she was as heavily made up as Zoro had been the night before, he looked excited. "Nevermind, you're redeemed for your idiocy. Let's go there."

"Love cook, I have enough yen for _a street vendor._ Not a ryotei."

"Ryotei?" Sanji asked, already gravitating towards the building that exuded costliness and quality.

"No! Come on, if we keep walking we'll find something. Let's go." When Sanji refused to budge, Zoro sighed. "Fine. You can stay here, you idiotic hakujin. Without any yen."

That snapped Sanji backed to reality. He sighed. "Fine. What's a hakujin?"

"White person."

"Is it derogatory?"

"Depends on the way you use it."

"…I see…"

"Didn't you bring a book on Japanese phrases or something?" Zoro asked in exasperation. "I mean, the language is annoying to learn how to read and write, but you should at least pick up enough to survive for a week. Stuff like 'where's the toilet' or 'I'm an stupid love cook who will chase after anything with a pair of breasts—"

"That smells _delicious."_ Sanji stopped, sniffing the air.

"You're just like Luffy. Like…a bloodhound." Zoro looked around. "Where is the smell coming from?"

Sanji began to walk in one direction, his nose telling him where to go. "Pork broth, or beef broth? Maybe even anchovy. Boiled eggs, fish cakes…noodles? Yes, noodles." He led Zoro to a small stand that said "Ramen" under the restaurant's name in Japanese. "Here we are."

"Man, miso ramen sounds really good, too," Zoro declared as they pushed aside the cloth hangings shielding the stall's occupants from the sun (and perhaps rain, if the weather called for it).

They were greeted by a cheerful "Irashaimase!" and Zoro turned to Sanji, pointing to the menu that hung from the back wall.

"What do you feel like eating?"

"I'll trust your judgment." Sanji looked at the other patrons in interest; he had honestly never really tasted or cooked ramen with fresh noodles, only the dried and instant kind.

"_Miso ramen o futatsu kudasai,"_ Zoro said as he pulled out a stool and plopped in front of the man serving them ramen. _"Ano…koko wa doko desuka?"_

The man chuckled as he looked between Zoro and Sanji and began to speak to Zoro in quick, fluid Japanese. Sanji had no idea what was going on, but scowled as both the cook and Zoro occasionally gave Sanji sidelong looks and laughed. Eventually, their orders came out in two enormous steaming bowls.

"Ittadakimasu!" Zoro said enthusiastically as he cracked apart the wooden chopsticks given to them and immediately dug into the bowl of hot broth and noodles. "_Ai—_hot, hot." He chewed and swallowed with his mouth half open to survive the heat of the noodles.

Sanji sipped the broth at a more sedate pace with a curved spoon. He hummed appreciatively. "Fairly salty, but that's to be expected of miso. Strong broth, and the noodles…" He picked up a bit of noodle and sampled it delicately. "Oh, good consistency. Are they handmade? Translator, come on."

Zoro rolled his eyes and relayed the question around a mouthful of noodles and pink fishcake. "He said they're handmade, yes."

"Fast food seems to be good everywhere except America," Sanji muttered as he began to eat with gusto. Despite the enormity of the bowls given to them, their meals disappeared quickly and Sanji soon found himself wiping his mouth with satisfaction.

"Gochisousama," Zoro said, belching magnificently. "Phew, it's hard to get good ramen in the States."

Sanji waved his hand at him in disgust. "Don't burp like that, you cretin. What does the bill come out to? I'll pay my half to you in dollars."

Zoro shook his head. "Don't worry about it." He paid the man and nodded at him before leaving.

"You sure?" Sanji scrambled to follow Zoro.

"Yeah. You can cover when we go to a ryotei. One of those nice expensive restaurants."

"Oh, thanks. Where are we going, by the way?"

Zoro pointed in the direction that the man had told him to go. "He said that this street will take us back to the subway, and that we just need to take the Six to get back to Gora Station."

"What were you guys saying, anyways?" Sanji asked. "You were acting pretty suspicious."

Zoro chuckled. "He asked if the hakujin sitting next to me had gotten us lost, and I said of course, these tourists don't know what they're doing."

"You suck, did you know that?"

"Not as much as you'd think," Zoro said cheekily. He had somehow managed to take them to the subway entrance and to the correct route. "Yes! Told you I'd bring us here."

Sanji continued to be surprised as Zoro navigated through the busy crowds—much busier than it had been last night, and he had a feeling that it would only get more crowded as the day went on—and took them back to the Oyster Shell.

"Say, you don't think that your internal compass corrects itself in your homeland, do you?" Sanji asked idly. Zoro scowled.

"It's just as good as it ever was."

"But we came to the right place."

"…so?"

Sanji threw his arms apart. "So something must be wrong!"

Zoro stormed out of the subway station all the way to the inn, where they found the others lounging around and relaxing.

"Hey, Zoro," Ace called as he looked up from where he was viciously tickling his little brother. "Want to go for a dip in the hot springs?"

Zoro shrugged. "After tramping around all afternoon, sure. Right now?"

"Yep."

Zoro went to his room to change, with Sanji close behind. "Man, that hot water sounds really good right now," he sighed. "O-oi, what the hell are you doing?" Zoro was already stripping down to his skin in front of Sanji.

"Um, getting undressed?"

"Why?!"

"Because in Japan, you bathe in your birthday suit…"

Sanji stared helplessly at his luggage, where his swimming trunks were safely stored. When he turned back to Zoro, the green-haired man had already divested himself of every scrap of clothing and was now tying the belt of a soft gray robe around his waist.

"I'll see you outside, then," Zoro said, waving as he left. Sanji stared awkwardly the pile of clothing that Zoro had left all over the floor and bed and sighed, pulling off his shirt and folding it neatly; his pants soon followed.

Before leaving, he couldn't help but gingerly pick up Zoro's shirt and sniff it. _It smells like…baby powder, and a bit of aftershave, with a bit of…whatever it is that makes him smell like 'Zoro.'_

Sanji quickly dropped the shirt when he heard footsteps outside in the hall. "Sanji?" Tashigi stood in the doorway, hands tucked into the pockets of her own robe. "Did Zoro already tell you about the hot springs?"

"About the no-clothes policy?"

"That's the one. Actually, when we want to mingle the sexes we'll be wearing bathing suits, so don't worry," she said kindly.

"I don't think Zoro brought a bathing suit."

"Me neither. Don't worry, we can get him one here. Anyways, there was something I've been meaning to ask you…"

Sanji coughed slightly; usually when people said that, it never boded well. "Yes, darling?"

"What do you think of Zoro?"

Sanji stared. "In what way do you mean?"

"Any way. Platonically, romantically, whether as a rival or a friend…"

"Woah woah _romantically?"_ Sanji blurted out. "I don't think of him like that." He shifted uncomfortably, suddenly thinking about the texture of Zoro's hands against his on the airplane. They had been callused along his palms and fingers, and Sanji couldn't help but remember running one finger over the top of his hands and feeling the small scars from mistakes in the dojo. They had been warm, and extremely comforting, which was why he had squeezed so hard; it wouldn't do to let Zoro know that he had been exploring his hands like that.

Tashigi smiled gently as she pulled Sanji down to sit on the bed and took a seat next to him. "You know, when I went out with him I had all these glorified ideals of how I was going to heal his wounds and help him out of his slump. Obviously, you saw how that went…"

"What happened between you two?" Sanji asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Tashigi rubbed the cloth of her belt between two contemplative fingers. "One morning, I woke up earlier than him—not a big surprise, obviously—and as I was changing, with my back to him…"

_Tashigi hummed in pleasure as she smelled the coffee she had put to brew wafting up the stairs. "Should I wear the blue or the purple chemise?" she wondered softly to herself. She searched for her hair pins to pull her hair back with little success and decided to just let her long black hair—she had been growing it out lately—fall down her back._

_She heard Zoro mumbling something behind her—a sort of notification to let her know that he was awake._

_The words "Good morning!" were on the tip of her tongue as Zoro said in pure shock and disbelief,_

"_Robin?"_

_He realized his mistake when she turned around, and they both knew that it would never work between them._

"That's a little creepy," Sanji admitted. "So you both just ended it right there and then?"

"Pretty much," Tashigi said. "I thought that if any problems came up with him confusing me for another girl, it would be for the late Princess…but this was just a complete surprise."

"So what do you want me to do, then?" Sanji asked.

Tashigi patted his hand. "I want you to try and help him when I failed. Don't think of it as a romantic venture—he has been far happier lately with you as his friend than he ever was with me as his lover."

"I-I don't know if I can…not after hearing this…"

"Please, Sanji?" She looked up at him, her long black eyelashes fluttering innocently as she drew her hand to her mouth in a coy gesture. "I don't want him to be unhappy forever…"

It didn't escape Sanji's notice that her robe had slipped down to give him a fantastic view of the dip between her breasts, or that this was obviously a ploy to get him to agree.

"Mellorine~! Of course!"

---

"I could've sworn that the hot springs were this way…" Zoro stepped out of Usopp's room, looking thoroughly confused. "Why am I still here?"

"Zoro?" Nami stepped out of her room, tying a belt around her robe. "What are you doing still in here?"

"I, uh…" Zoro searched around for an answer.

"Got sidetracked?" Nami provided as she pulled him in the right direction. "Hey, Zoro…" She stopped at the two doorways that separated the men and women's bathing areas. "What do you think of Sanji?" The question was unusually blunt for the sly woman.

"I think he's a pretentious prick."

"Is that all?" Nami sounded slightly disappointed. "He thinks the world of you, you know."

"Sure," Zoro said sarcastically. "If he thinks the world of me, then his world must be hell."

"No, really!" Nami said confidently. "I've known him my entire life, and I've never seen anyone he's been so fond of since old man Zeff. They used to gripe at each other and beat each other up—actually, Zeff beat Sanji up—but they were very fond of one another. When Zeff died…Sanji was devastated. He used to only smoke on occasion after picking up the habit to spite Zeff and prove that he was a man, but it got much worse. But lately…he's down to a couple of smokes a day. Not a couple of packs, like he used to."

"Well, good for him. Those stupid cigs are going to kill him if I don't first."

Nami sighed patiently, although Zoro thought he saw a blood vessel pulsating at her temple. "Zoro, I need you to help him."

"Why should I do that? It seems like one of the women would be better equipped to do that," Zoro said, lifting a hand to his breast-less chest pointedly.

"He's never been very successful at dating, you know," Nami said in an off-hand voice. "Maybe you can teach him a little about it. Killing two birds with one stone, as the saying goes. He stays happy because he's with you, and he gets a girlfriend to boot. How does that sound?"

"What's in it for me?" Zoro said bluntly.

"Aren't you his friend?"

"Yes, but I still remember how you yelled at me at the hospital when Sanji banged his head."

Nami thought carefully. "If you can get him to start dating again—successfully—then I'll pay for everyone's dinner one night at any restaurant you choose. Drinks, too."

"That's pretty tempting, but I need something a bit … well, I need a bit more incentive than that. Do you have any dirt on him from his childhood?"

Nami grinned evilly. "If that's all you want, then I'll give you plenty. Agreed?"

They shook hands.

---

"Wooo! This water is _hot!"_ Luffy exclaimed.

"Didn't you already realize that the last time you jumped in?" Ace asked as he stepped into the water. "My, it is hot, though…just how I like it."

Sanji hung back in the room where they had all left their towels and robes. _Okay, Sanji. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're a virulent man in his prime, who can…okay, let's not think about what I can do as a man in my prime._ Images flashed in his mind against his own will: women he had seen and wooed, pornographic clips he had watched and Playboy magazines he had filched from Zeff, a strong tanned body stiff with frustration as a pair of hands held a pair of cards in a game of strip poker…

Sanji decided that he had best wait a few minutes to 'calm down' before joining the others.

"Oi, cook!"

_Shit._

Sanji quickly refastened the robe around his waist. "What, marimo?" There was Zoro, with a towel wrapped around his waist and an impatient look on his face.

"You're taking too long. Luffy's already almost drowned once, and Usopp has already told a handful of lies about how he built the first hot spring," Zoro said. "You're missing out. C'mon."

"I'll be out in a second," Sanji said uncomfortably. "Cover yourself up, would you?"

"Why? You're going to see me in all my glory anyways," Zoro snorted. "What's keeping you?"

The two of them stared at one another for a moment, remembering their missions. Sanji bit back a biting response as Zoro mentally yelled at himself to _Be nice! Damn._

"Let's go in."

"Er, yeah."

Sanji walked outside and found that the springs were steaming and wide, and deeper further in the pool. A tall bamboo fence separated them from the women's springs with thorny bushes at the base to deter any peepers; the ground was lined with broad stones, which were a little slippery when wet. This fact had been discovered when Luffy had been running and tripped, skidding until he collided with the water. Now, they were all doing it.

"So much for a peaceful soak," Zoro muttered as he threw his towel into a basket and slipped into the water. Sanji looked away and, after a moment's hesitation, left his robe in the same basket and quickly entered the hot water.

"_Ah,"_ Sanji grimaced as the water washed over him without giving him a chance to acclimate to the change in heat. "Why are we sitting in this scalding water in the heat of summer, Zoro?"

"Because it's refreshing?"

Sanji sighed as his muscles began to unwind in the water. "Mmm, this actually feels pretty good once you get used to it."

Zoro winced at the sound. "Don't do that, cook."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't make that sound."

"Why not?"

"You sound like a woman."

"…"

"Hey, look! Sanji and Zoro are fighting in the water!" Luffy crowed as Sanji surged after Zoro, who quickly dodged and began to swim towards the middle of the pool with sure, swift strokes. "Go, go!"

"That can't be easy," Ace noted as he watched the two men circling one another. "I mean, the heat must drain all the energy out of them." He lounged with his back against the wall next to Franky, who was drinking a bottle of Cola in the hot spring.

"Ouch, that must have hurt," said Franky as Sanji managed to kick Zoro in the ribs. "C'mon, Zoro. You're not just going to take that, are—damn, he just karate-chopped Sanji in the windpipe! Harsh!"

Sanji stumbled backwards, clutching his throat; Zoro leaned forward, grabbing at his ribs. When Sanji's head hit the water, he felt a sudden rush of light-headedness and vaguely wondered whether he should try to breath. It sounded like a good idea. The water rushing into his lungs did not. _Maybe if I keep breathing in and out it'll get better?_

"Get up," Zoro snorted as Sanji turned to float face-first in the water. When Sanji didn't move, Zoro looked more closely. "Cook!" Zoro leapt and pulled Sanji's head up by the hair before supporting him more firmly by the waist. "Oi!" Sanji gurgled, the hot water still in his throat and lungs. "Shit, how did you inhale that much water already?"

"Doctor! Someone get a doctor!" Chopper bellowed.

"That's you," Usopp said with the air of one who is tired of repeating this scene. "Remember?"

"Oh. Bring him over here and I'll try to resuscitate him!" Chopper cried. Zoro picked Sanji up and slung him over his shoulder before setting him down gently on the paved stones. They all watched in silence as Chopper pressed firmly on Sanji's chest.

"No mouth to mouth?" Zoro asked.

Chopper shook his head, shaking heads of sweat out of his shaggy hair. "Studies have shown that doing that only increases the chance of brain damage. Damnit, _breathe!"_

Zoro pushed Chopper aside. "You're getting tired. Let me try." He pounded on Sanji's chest with enough force to make everyone wince. "You idiot cook! How could you get like this from such a small injury?!"

"Small?" Franky muttered. "You hit him square in the throat, dumbass."

"Shut up, Franky! Sanji!"

Sanji suddenly coughed, spewing forth a flood of hot water. _"Shit,"_ Sanji groaned between coughs. When he had coughed out all the fluid in his lungs, he looked around in disbelief. "What the hell happened?"

"You guys were fighting and you went under. I'm assuming you breathed in for some reason, and by the time we realized that you were kind of drowning…" Chopper's voice carried on. "The hot water coupled with a loss of air from the windpipe strike must have muddled your senses."

"Bastard," Sanji coughed, glaring at Zoro. "What did you do that for?"

"You attacked me first."

"You verbally attacked me first."

"Fair enough," Zoro said, standing. Only then did Sanji realize that he was surrounded by stark-naked men, and that he was on his back on the ground. He quickly scrambled back with the air of a cornered rat, quickly pulling his legs up as though to defend himself and with eyes wide open.

"What's wrong, Sanji?" Luffy asked, coming closer.

"I think our little friend here is uncomfortable with the arrangements," Ace said with a wicked smile. "You're not used to being naked with other men?"

"Ah, that's it, huh?" Franky's smile matched Ace's. "We'll have to rectify that if we want Sanji to be comfortable for the next few weeks. This isn't the only time we're going to be dropping our pants."

Zoro saw that Sanji was nearly frothing at the mouth and stepped in front of Sanji. "Okay, guys, play nice. Just because he's a bit of a homophobe to the point where he can't even be naked in front of other guys—"

"He seems to be glad that you're in front of him though," Ace teased, winking to Luffy. Luffy got the hint and quickly swept his foot against the back of Zoro's knees, making him wobble precariously.

"Damnit Luffy, what the—" Zoro managed to yelp before both Franky and Ace pushed Zoro over. In a collision of water, sweat, and skin, Zoro fell onto Sanji and they both rolled several feet. "Shit!"

Sanji squirmed rigorously to escape the tangle of limbs—_Seriously, why does this always happen to me?_—and stiffened as he realized that his body was pressed between hard stones and hard muscles. _God damn, is this man made of muscle? It's a wonder he doesn't just sink in the water._ He looked up and saw, as though in slow motion, the other guys running over and leaping into what was going to be a very uncomfortable dogpile. _Fuck._

---

Nami looked up and glanced at the fence that divided the two springs. "They're being awful noisy today," she said. "Do you think it's because of our plan?" She reclined against the rocks, the bottom of her torso immersed in the water.

"I think it's a lost cause," Tashigi said as she braided her hair to keep it out of the water. "Robin, you don't really think—" She was interrupted as they clearly heard Zoro shouting obscenities over the wall. "Oh, dear."

Vivi sighed. "They can't even relax in a hot spring…what did they say when you proposed the ideas to them?"

Nami shrugged. "Zoro was all for it once we agreed on a price. What about Sanji?"

"It took…some persuasion," Tashigi admitted. "He came around though."

Robin smiled. "This might work out, then."

"What makes you think that they're going lavender for each other?" Nami asked as she soaped her arms lavishly. [1]

Robin shook her head, running a soft cloth across her belly. "I don't think that they're homosexual, exactly. It's perhaps…well, they're very similar, it seems. It would be good for them to continue bonding, especially on this trip.

"And if they do end up in a relationship, then any trouble that they make will most likely be self-contained." Robin smiled sweetly. "Wouldn't that make things much more peaceful?"

On the other side of the wall, they heard two people sneeze.

---

Zoro growled as he felt his body pressed between Sanji and whoever was on top of him; he couldn't tell, with his face squished between someone's arm and someone else's leg. He relaxed his muscles, forcing himself to become attuned to something he really did not want to be attuned with. _Breathe in…_

"AAARRGGHHH!" Zoro roared as he suddenly rose, sending the others flying. Sanji was still in his original position, looking slightly dazed as he stared at the sky. "You bastards!"

That was the cue for the men to start scrambling away, laughing gleefully.

"Hey, master swordsman."

Zoro looked down and saw Sanji glaring up at him.

"Yeah?"

"Get your 'sword' out of my face," Sanji hissed. "I think I'm going to hurl." He sat upright and stood unsteadily before trotting off as quickly as he could on the wet tiles. Zoro stood there in disbelief. _That ungrateful bastard!_

Sanji walked as quickly as he could, grabbing his robe blindly and wrapping it around himself as he ran out of the hot springs. _I need to get to my room, fast._ The sight of a bed with blankets was comforting, and he flung his wet body onto the sheets and curled up onto a blanket, hoping that he could dispel everything that had just happened from his memory forever. _Think soft blankets, smooth skin and curves…and Nami…and Robin…and Tashigi and Vivi…_ Fantasizing usually cheered him up, but today it couldn't do anything but make him even more miserable as he thought about what had happened. He was pretty damned sure that his hand had brushed against _something_ that he had never wanted to touch on another man, and that the rest of his body had been similarly violated somehow. _How the hell are those guys not uncomfortable?! They're Americans too, aren't they?...but they're all pretty familiar with each other, though…_

Sanji recalled the way that Zoro had felt right before tossing everyone off. The swordsman had tried to brace himself on all fours to keep a shell of space over Sanji, but the cannonballing other men had made that rather ineffective.

Zoro stood outside of the door to the room he was to share with Sanji, one hand on the handle and the other on the belt of his robe. _Okay, Zoro. You're supposed to be nice. Think of the potential blackmail._

"Cook?"

Sanji froze. "What do you want?"

"You okay?" Zoro sank into one of the chairs and scooted over to the side of the bed. "I mean, that was probably pretty traumatizing back there. With the nakedness and all."

"Please don't talk to me right now."

"Okay, this is going to sound harsh, but you're going to have to get over it. It's not like any of us is gay."

"Hey, marimo. What happened between you and Usopp?"

Zoro groaned. "You just had to bring that up now, didn't you?"

"I'm in bed, and I'm wet, and this is _not comfortable in this heat._ I need something to make me feel better."

"You're going to have to tell me what went down between you and that guy, then."

"…fine. Now, go on."

Zoro sat down on the bed awkwardly, fiddling with the soft robe's material. "Okay, so after Vivi and I split I was acting pretty stupid. You know, being aggressive and just mad at the world because nothing was working, and I was more angry at myself for letting another relationship fail rather than because I had split with Vivi and Tashigi and Robin and—" Sanji coughed slightly and Zoro paused. "—okay I get the point. But the guys decided to try and get me smashed, because they'd never seen me anything but angry and sober and thought that if I was drunk then maybe I'd be a happy drunk. So they convinced Chopper to mix together something that would override my high alcohol tolerance."

"Is that…legal?" Sanji asked uncertainly. "I mean, I can't even imagine Chopper doing something like that."

"They bribed him with a year's worth of cotton candy and sweets whenever he wanted."

"…ah. Has he got a big sweet tooth?"

"You have no idea. That guy will chomp through a block of chocolate the size of your head as quickly as Luffy can." Zoro smiled a bit fondly. "Anyways, he mixed something up in the labs at the University and they put a little into every cup that they were going to give me. I thought they were acting a bit weird that night…"

"_Hey Zoro, I bet I can drink more than you can." Ace grinned at Zoro as they sat in the apartment shared by the two brothers; all the guys were there to try and cheer Zoro up after his latest romantic fiasco. "I mean, after being chased out of the Nefertari estate by Igaram, you probably need something to cheer you up."_

"_Shut up," Zoro grumbled as he sat with his arms crossed and face twisted in negative emotions. "Can't I go home?"_

"_No. Not until we fix you."_

"…_I'm not some dog…"_

_Franky pulled out a clear bottle full of a bright verdant liquid. "Hey, I got my hands on some Absinthe. You interested?"_

_Zoro immediately sat up. "Give it here." Something tingled in the back of his neck as Chopper handed Franky an opaque glass, but he took the cup and downed it in one gulp. He had never had Absinthe before, and it had an odd flavor to it. "What is this stuff?"_

"_It's good, trust me," Franky reassured him as he poured him another. _

"_Why aren't you guys drinking?" Zoro asked suspiciously._

"_We're drinking beer. You're the only one who can handle that stuff," Usopp said offhandedly as he took a seat next to Zoro and plied him with more alcohol._

_A few cups later, Zoro was feeling decidedly odd. "Man, that must be really good because I've neeever felt thiiis…" Zoro slurred as he swayed slightly. _

"_It should be working right about now," Chopper whispered to Ace. The older man nodded._

"_How're you feeling?"_

"_Great! Just great," Zoro said with a wide grin. "I feel like nothing could go wrong. Hey man…"_

"_Yeah?" Ace looked a bit nervously at Zoro. The swordsman was acting extremely strange; none of them had ever seen Zoro with such a wide smile on his face before._

"_I love you, man!" Zoro surged forward, spilling his cup and embracing Ace in a tight and awkward hug. "You're sho nice, giving me this shtuff." The guys looked uneasily at one another, realizing that Zoro was slurring even more._

"_Uh, Zoro, maybe you should take it easy," Franky said cautiously, thinking that they would stop giving him any more alcohol._

_Zoro released a wheezing Ace and grabbed Franky by the hand, pumping it up and down. "Man, you're a basht'rd but you're not shuch a bad guy either, Franky…even if you and Robin…"_

"_What?" Franky exclaimed in alarm. But Zoro was already moving on._

"_Luf! Cap'n Luffy!" Zoro put Luffy in an affectionate headlock. "You little rascal!"_

"_Okay, this is really weirding me out," Chopper cried as Zoro picked him up and swung him around. "Zoro is really, really strong." They were all amazed to see Zoro handling the enormous doctor-in-training like a little doll._

_Usopp began backing away, realizing that he was the last one left._

"_Hey, Ushopp…" Zoro put Chopper gently down on the couch and held Usopp by the shoulders. "You might be a goddamned liar…but I love you too, man. You guysh mean sho much to me…"_

"_Zoro, put the man down and back away slowly," Ace urged Zoro, trying to pull him away._

"_Why? We're all best friendsh, aren't we?" Zoro asked with a silly grin. "Aren't we?"_

"_Zoro—"_

_Zoro leaned forward and firmly planted a kiss on Usopp's lips._

"_Oh, shit!"_

"_Someone pull him off!"_

"_No, screw that, someone get a camera!"_

"_Hahah!"_

"_Mmrrph!"_

_Zoro deepened the kiss and held Usopp like one might hold a princess—supporting him in the back as he bent forward. Usopp face was becoming increasingly crimson, and his hands stuck out awkwardly in the air as though at a loss for what to do. Suddenly, Zoro's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell forward, lips still stuck to Usopp's. A guttural snoring sound could be heard emanating from the back of Zoro's throat, and a thin whine from Usopp's as he struggled to breathe; eventually, he passed out from a lack of oxygen._

_Zoro woke up the next morning and nearly screamed in shock to see himself in a bed next to Usopp. Apparently, they had been unable to pry his arms off of the poor long-nosed man, although they had managed to remove his lips._

Zoro closed his eyes, waiting for the peals of laughter that would inevitably come.

When he heard nothing, he looked over and saw Sanji staring at him with mouth open and eyes twitching slightly. "Cook?"

"What the hell did Chopper give you?" Sanji finally sputtered.

"Some kind of depressant," Zoro said offhandedly. "He said they had tested it beforehand to try and wean alcoholics off of actual alcohol. Anyways, I woke up to a hospital room and an envelope full of embarrassing pictures. I burned the pictures, hunted down the film, and beat the crap out of them for that little stunt."

"Wow, that's…wow," Sanji chuckled weakly. "…you really don't have any pictures of that?"

Zoro socked him in the arm and scowled. "Just tell me your story, you ass."

Sanji grinned as he squirmed out from beneath the covers until he was sitting on his stomach, the covers sloping up his arched back and covering his legs while his arms were wrapped around an airy pillow. "My story isn't _nearly_ as interesting as that. There was this girl I met while in cooking school. Her name was Carmen…"

"What did she do?" Zoro asked curiously, trying not to stare at that seemingly endless expanse of creamy skin and rippling bones under lean muscles.

"She said that if I wanted her to accept my endless fountain of undying love—"

"—that you seem to profess for any woman—"

"—then I would have to kiss her assistants, Leo and Jose."

Zoro did a double take. "Wait, you said you kissed _a_ guy. One. Singular. Not two."

"Well, I only got around to kissing one of them before she dissolved into laughter and I realized I was the laughing stock of the whole school at that point. Then, I just left."

"What happened?"

"She was later expelled for cheating and lying to a teacher, and I eventually took down all the posters of me kissing Jose. It was not fun."

"See, at least I wasn't sober…" Zoro muttered, just loudly enough for Sanji to hear.

"Hey! She was gorgeous! Anything for a beautiful woman! Her soft skin, grace, and flaming red hair brighter than a well-executed _flambé…_" Sanji stared dreamily at the wall. "Her cooking was excellent. Not as good as mine, of course, but it was very good."

"You're an idiot. My friends tricked me into doing what I did, but you did it of your own free will. How sad."

"Shut up."

They sat in silence, and Sanji sighed as he attempted to push Zoro off the bed.

"Get off, I need to dry myself off."

"You're not wearing anything under that?"

"Well, I have a towel and robe. But I need to undress to dry myself. And if I undress myself, you must get out," Sanji said stubbornly. "Now. Get out."

Zoro stood grumpily as he walked towards the door.

"Hey, cook."

"What?" Sanji snapped irritably as Zoro turned to look over his shoulder.

"What did it feel like?"

"Huh?"

"To kiss a man…"

Sanji felt something squirm in the bottom of his stomach. It had bothered him sometimes when he brought this memory up, but he usually squashed it as quickly as he could. While Carmen's assistants were not attractive by anyone's standards, feeling lips that weren't soft and luscious touching his lips had made him feel something strange. He had been entirely disgusted by the fact that he had kissed Jose, but that was as far as his revulsion spread. He had no physical qualms to touching another man.

Which was why he refused to touch other men.

_It simply isn't natural,_ Sanji thought grimly.

"It feels like shit, marimo. Now get out."

---

[1] Lavender is a color used to denote gay people, sometimes.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Wow, it's been a while since I last updated. As last time...and as will probably be for a while. I'm sorry...sigh. But I feel a little better now that my two main stories are updated. Things progress a bit faster than usual in this one (even I'm impatient, a little) and I tried to make it a little longer to make up for my absence.

Enjoy!

(Also, I'd like to thank the reviewers who found errors in my story. I would change them, but .. I'm kind of lazy).

---

Zoro paced the halls of the Oyster Shell restlessly, wringing his hands and resisting the urge to punch a fist through the rice-paper doors. How Sanji's—natural, of course—reaction to the kiss managed to rile him so much frustrated him. _That fucking cook…!_ Zoro clawed at his chest, looking for some sort of release to his frustration. He knew that if he so much as put a door off its hinges, then Tashigi would be whirling a pair of handcuffs the entire way back to the States.

He needed to relax. Hot water was relaxing.

"Hey, Zoro." Ace smiled uncertainly as Zoro threw his towel back into the basket and slipped gingerly into the hot water. "How's it going?"

"Fuck you, Ace."

"Not good, huh?" Ace groaned as he waded over to where Zoro was sitting. "What's up?"

Zoro glared balefully at the freckled man sitting next to him, his head looking oddly bare without the bright orange hat that usually sat on top of it. "You completely freaked out the cook, you moron. Why'd you have to go do that?"

"He needs to loosen up," Ace said defensively. "It's not like we were really going to molest him—although I don't know if Usopp agrees—"

"Oi!" Usopp splashed through the water in indignation. "That was your idea, and you know it!"

"If it was my idea, of course I'd know it."

"Don't be so restless," Franky said, placating as Robin. "But really, bro, we didn't think he'd flip out like that. And you! When'd you get that strong?"

"I've always been this strong," Zoro retorted. "I could lift you with my little pinky, but I don't want to when you're sitting naked like that."

"Why's the kid so homophobic, anyways?" Franky asked curiously. "Any idea?"

"There was an article in this psychology journal that said that some men have an almost rabid fear of homosexuality because they think that they themselves are homosexual," Chopper said, plopping into the water with a massive wave of hot mineral water.

Zoro scowled. "Him, gay? That's about as likely as me putting on a dress and dancing for you guys."

"You did wear a kimono," Luffy teased as he joined the little powwow. "Remember? Your eyes still have eyeliner!"

Luffy was only saved from being murdered by Zoro by the handful of men that stood between them.

Zoro panted as he settled back against the rocks that lined the floor and hot spring. "You guys should just let me get all my negative energy out on this guy," he grumbled. "Then I won't be forced to kill one of you later."

"Enough about that," Ace said impatiently. "He is a bit…_metro,_ isn't he?"

"Yeah," Franky agreed. "He dresses, um, really well. And stuff. I think he uses the same deodorant as Robin, my nose was right under his pits in the dogpile."

"That's nasty," Zoro shuddered. "He can't be gay. He…he's a freaking womanizer! Are you crazy?"

"You never know," Chopper said sagely. "It's not like it's a bad thing. You should ask him about it, Zoro."

"Why _me?"_

"Because you're the closest to him," Chopper said. "Just check him for signs. You're a pretty good-looking guy, you know. You could pull it off."

Zoro looked at Chopper suspiciously. Something was off here; this didn't sound like Chopper at all. Someone was pulling the strings—

"Woah," Luffy said, looking up to the sky. Fat raindrops began to pour from the previously blue sky as rainclouds quickly masked the sun. "Weird! The rain is warm!"

"Yeah," Zoro said, pulling himself out of the water and grabbing his now-useless towel. "C'mon, let's go in. Soaking in the rain is okay sometimes, but knowing our luck, if the lightning storms roll in…one of us is going to be hit."

In the changing room, Zoro tossed aside his wet towel in favor of a dry one and rubbed his head absently. Someone wanted him to confront Sanji, and he wanted to know why.

---

Robin smiled as she saw the majority of the men that had come on the trip enter her room, still in the robes normally saved for hot spring use.

"How may I help you, boys?" she asked sweetly, crossing her legs and closing the book she was reading. Nami, Vivi, and Tashigi exchanged knowing looks; they had been talking about sensitive subject matter and were not surprised that they had been disturbed.

"We can't do this, Robin," Franky began, spreading his arms wide and looking as though he was about to do battle with a hurricane. "It's impossible. You're asking for the impossible."

"Yeah," Ace sighed, "These guys just won't budge. I nearly got _killed_ out there doing what you order—asked us to do."

"Robin," Chopper sniffed. "It doesn't feel right lying to Zoro. And Sanji."

"But you did very well," Robin said sweetly, standing and rubbing him on the head. She went on a drawer and pulled out a large bag. "Rice candy, from the finest confectionary store in this archipelago." She handed it to Chopper, who accepted it guiltily. "Are you all here to collect your payments?"

Franky, Ace, Luffy and Usopp looked at one another and nodded awkwardly.

---

_Knock knock knock._

"Oi, Robin."

No answer.

Zoro sighed as he rested his forehead against Robin's door. "I know you're in there. Let me in." He was about to knock again when the door swung open and Zoro found himself face-to-face with Nami.

"Hush," she scolded him quietly as she pulled him into the room, where Zoro was greeted by an extremely odd sight.

Luffy sat in the corner next to Chopper; the former was munching on something from a plate (it looked like the mangled remains of beef teriyaki and rice) while the latter morosely sucked on rice candy. Usopp and Ace were on the beds being given massages by Vivi and Tashigi; Franky and Robin were nowhere to be seen.

"What the hell's going on in here?" Zoro asked. "Are you running a brothel?"

Nami smacked him across the head. "We're not having sex with them," she said irritably. Someone knocked on the door again and Nami opened it to find one of the inn's maids there with a tray heavily laden with food. "Just roll it over to the guy with the straw hat over there, yes, thank you," Nami directed, gesturing towards Luffy. "They were sore after being beat up by you, apparently, so we decided to help them out."

"And why are you feeding Luffy?" Zoro asked suspiciously. "If he was sore, then that wouldn't help him."

"He was just here with the others and kept whining about how he was hungry," Nami replied smoothly as she rubbed Luffy's head affectionately. Zoro felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickling in suspicion, but decided to let it go.

"Right…" Zoro looked at the two men being massaged and grimaced. "You look like you guys have sold your souls to the devil."

"Oh, yeah."

"You'd be surprised as to how true that statement is."

Zoro shrugged. "Whatever. Have you seen Sanji? I went into our room but he wasn't there."

Nami looked at the clock. "That idiot, I bet he's hunting for the kitchens here. He's got an addiction to cooking almost as bad as his nicotine one." She pushed him out the door. "Get out and find him before he harasses the inn's chefs, shoo." When Zoro found himself outside, the door slammed in his face.

"Friendly as always," he muttered before going off to sniff out for the kitchens. He stopped (several) passing maids as he walked along, asking each one for directions as he walked along. He found himself in front of a nondescript wooden door with a small wooden plaque bearing the kanji for _Kitchen_ on it. He could hear people speaking loudly, with occasional swearing in Japanese and English.

"_I just want to use the kitchen! Does anyone speak English here?"_

"_Nanda kore?!"_

"_Nani??"_

"_Hey! Put that knife down!"_

Zoro grinned as he backed away from the door just in time to miss colliding with Sanji, who was being bodily thrown out of the kitchen. "The hell's wrong with you?" Sanji shot at the chefs, who were standing in the doorway with their arms crossed menacingly. "I just wanted to see what you were cooking, assholes!" One of the chefs drew a wicked-looking cleaver. "Okay, put that away man…jeez…"

Zoro laughed. _"What's wrong?"_ he asked the chefs in Japanese.

The man with a clean white cord tied around one bicep—he appeared to be the head chef—nodded to Zoro cordially. _"He comes in here and starts pestering the cooks in a language we can't understand. When he starts touching our ingredients, of course we have to throw him out."_

"_This idiot's a cook. He wanted to know how you guys cook your dishes,"_ Zoro replied in amusement.

"Oi, marimo, what are you saying?"

One of the cooks chuckled when he heard Sanji's nickname. _"Marimo?"_ They looked at Zoro's hair in renewed interest.

Zoro scowled.

"_This idiot? He wanted to sabotage your cooking."_

_---_

"You're such a dick."

"Just because I have a really big one doesn't make me one."

"…"

"Hm?"

"Just…shut up…"

"Why should I, curly-cue?"

"Because!" Sanji snapped. "You said something to those chefs and suddenly they start ganging up on me again!"

"You called me marimo. You can't call me that here, you idiot, people actually _understand what it means._"

Sanji grinned as he stood in front of the mirror in their bedroom, careful place a tiny bandage on one of the cuts on his face. He was surprised how fast those chefs were with their cleavers and knives. "Aw, marimo-chan, are you embarrassed? How cute!"

"I will cut you, I swear."

Sanji winced as his wide grin pulled at the scratches on his face. "Goddamnit…you owe me one for this."

"Oh, really? Why?" Zoro crossed his arms as he sat cross-legged on the bed.

"Because if I scar, then I will never forgive you," Sanji growled. Zoro felt a slight shiver go up his spine; it was not unusual to hear the chef's gravelly voice snap at him in irritation, but Zoro had never really heard Sanji growl before. It just wasn't the kind of thing the chef did.

He kind of liked it.

"Are you listening to me?" Sanji turned around, his first-aid job complete. "My face! I need it to get the ladies, you know?"

"I really don't think women care about those kinds of scars. Maybe you'll look rugged." Zoro managed to keep a straight face for about two seconds before bursting out in laughter. "Haha…wow, I can't even sit straight when I think about you being an actual man."

---

"Did you hear that?" Chopper looked around, his bag of candy empty. The room had been quiet, as they had all been worn out by the day's activities.

Luffy looked up from where he was gnawing on a rib. "Hm?"

_Thump. Thump thump thump._

"That sound?"

"Yeah." Chopper put his head to the wall as he listened.

"Maybe Zoro and Sanji are arguing again," Nami said wearily as she looked up from where she had pushed Ace off of the bed.

"Maybe they're having freaky man-love," Ace drawled as he lounged in a squat chair. "You know. That thumping is pretty suspicious."

_Bang!_

"I think they just broke more furniture," Tashigi said with a sigh. "I am so going to arrest Zoro for something one of these days…"

"_Shit face!"_

"_Asshole!"_

"You could fill a book with their expletives," Robin said as she came through the door with Franky; both looked immensely satisfied. No one asked why. "Does anyone want to go check on them?" When another thud rattled the walls, no one volunteered. She sighed before running a hand through her hair, mussing it up slightly but putting it in an enormously sexy state of disorder. The men gawped as she silently went out into the hallway and knocked on the door, stumbling to go after her to see what was going on. Obviously, no one answered the door, and she opened it. Now, they could hear and see everything in all of its glory.

"Boys?" Robin watched Zoro and Sanji grappling on the floor. Somehow, Sanji's legs were wrapped around Zoro's head while Zoro's arm was cutting off Sanji's wind supply. She sighed.

It was funny how they didn't respond to the sound of the door or her voice, but the sound of a dropping robe drew their eyes immediately.

Nami peeked through the wall of men staring wistfully. "Robin has such nice curves," she sighed.

"I think your body's really nice," Luffy said offhandedly as he tore his eyes away. He raised one eyebrow, and Nami grinned.

No one noticed the playful couple slip away quietly.

"That's better," Robin said with a smile as she bent over and picked up her robe and wrapped it around her body. "If you cause any more damage, I will make you compensate the inn in the most unpleasant ways possible. Understood?"

"Yes, Robin."

"Yes ma'am."

"Good."

"Hot damn," was all that Ace managed to mutter before slinking off to his room. "Give me a few minutes before—holy _shit_ Luffy, leave a tie on the door or something!" Ace nearly shouted as he slammed the door shut and backed away from it. "What the hell is up with this place? People are doing the nasty _everywhere._"

Usopp and Chopper merely looked at each other before shrugging awkwardly and leaving. They didn't want to have any part in this.

---

Zoro and Sanji were still staring at the door that Chopper had been wise enough to shut before leaving.

"Man, Robin's such a fox," Sanji said in disbelief.

"Yeah," Zoro grunted in agreement. "Uh, cook?"

"What?"

"Can you get your leg off of my esophagus? I kind of need to breathe."

"Oh. Sorry. Your arm?"

"There we go…"

The two men lay panting slightly on the floor, nursing bruised windpipes. Zoro finally managed to sit up (sort of) and half-turned to look at Sanji.

"You need a minute to yourself?" he asked. Sanji looked up at him inquiringly.

"Why?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "You just saw Robin naked. I'm pretty sure the others went off to 'take care of their business.' So…"

Sanji shrugged. "Nah. I'm good."

They both sat in silence for a moment.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"But you just saw her _naked."_

"Yes, you idiot, I did," Sanji said. "Shut up and let me savor the moment."

"Oh."

Sanji held that mental image in his head, wondering. Robin was beautiful—hell, she was _hot._ Smoking.

So why did he feel so indifferent?

"Oi, marimo."

"Yeah?"

Sanji was silent for another moment. He wondered how to articulate the strange thoughts going through his head at the moment. "Have you…"

For once, Zoro was observant enough of the mood as to not interrupt impatiently.

Sanji let out a _whuff _of air in frustration. "Never mind. Come on, let's get this mess cleaned up. I think I have splinters up my ass."

Zoro looked at Sanji strangely, feeling as though an important moment had just passed.

---

"What the hell is this?"

The group of Americans all looked up at Sanji's expletive.

Sanji sputtered as he looked at what the maids had quietly put in front of him on his plate. It was a mess of charred vegetables and raw meat that looked as though it had been scraped off of the edge of a grill at a roadside dive.

"Are those chefs fucking around?" Sanji asked the air in exasperation. He stood and rolled his sleeves back as well as short sleeves could be rolled up. "I'm going again."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Tashigi said as she put her chopsticks down. A plate of chilled buckwheat noodles sat in front of her that looked absolutely delicious. "Those chefs…"

"We know," Zoro said. "Idiot here got in their way and got cut up, see?" He poked Sanji's cheek roughly, and Sanji yelped.

"Ouch, you ass, that _hurts."_

"Man up."

"You're sticking a finger right into my cut!"

"Like I said. Man. Up."

"You're coming with me," Sanji snapped as he dragged Zoro away from the table. "I need a translator."

"No! My beef!" Zoro stamped one foot into the ground to prevent Sanji from dragging him away from his cut of steak over rice.

"Are you Luffy? It'll still be there when we get back." Sanji swept a foot under Zoro's leg, upsetting his balance.

"What were you going to say about the chefs?" Nami asked as she took a bite of her unagi.

Tashigi sighed. "They're, um…ex-convicts. My aunt used to be involved in all this shady business, and she took these gang members in to work for her after she decided to start living cleanly. Even the maids were from this brothel she destroyed because it was competing with one of her businesses."

The room was quiet for a second, until Luffy said,

"If Zoro's going, can I eat his meat?"

"Oi! Pay attention to the situation here!"

---

"These guys are suspiciously good with knives," Zoro said lazily as he watched Sanji dodge the knife thrusts that had immediately met them upon opening the kitchen door again.

"Help me, would you?" Sanji asked through gritted teeth as a knife whizzed over his head.

"I don't know what you could possibly want to say to these guys…they're kind of trying to kill you…"

Sanji rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I don't need a translator! I need backup!"

"I thought you could handle your shit." Zoro smirked as he saw a vein pulsating on Sanji's forehead. _Interesting. I wonder how many veins I can get to pop?_

"Don't look at me like you're trying to figure out how to piss me off even more!" Sanji shouted before grumbling. "Fine…looks like I have to do this myself…"

Zoro stared as, in a flurry of hairy legs and rubber-soled shoes, the knives and men went flying as Sanji did a spinning kick that was clearly a mix of something from Bon's classes and something quiet unique to Sanji. His legs were long and thin, and strong as steel beams but graceful as a whip. He couldn't believe that anyone could _move_ like that.

"Now will you _listen_ to me?" Sanji demanded as he wiped his brow. "It is way too hot to be fighting right now. Marimo, tell them I just want to watch them cook."

Zoro didn't respond.

"Asshole?" Sanji looked at Zoro strangely; it was uttered more as a question than as an insult.

Zoro shook his head like a dog. "W-what?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Is there something on my leg?"

"Other than hair? No, why?"

"You've been staring at them."

"…have not."

Sanji shrugged. He didn't feel like arguing right now.

"Can you ask them to just let me use their kitchen so I can make a proper dinner for myself? And if I can watch them tomorrow?"

Zoro nodded absently. _"Ano…"_ he began, his thoughts drifting as he automatically began conversing with the cowed cooks.

Zoro was a physical man, no one would deny that. He spent his life honing his body and soul to be in sync, and had once had a voracious appetite for a woman with a body that was as strong as her mind. Robin had had long legs with plenty of skin for him to grab, and he grinned a little as he imagined her dark skin pressed up against his in a milky brown sea of pleasure.

His smile faded when Robin slowly began to disappear. She had been like a succubus—dark, seductive, and deliciously evil.

The figure that took her place was an angel—pure light and daintiness…

And hairy legs.

Very hairy legs.

Very hairy legs that connected to—

"_Kuso!"_

"What?" Sanji and the cooks jumped back in surprise as Zoro suddenly cursed. "Oi, idiot, what's up with you?"

Zoro took one look at Sanji and fled.

Sanji shrugged. "So you take this—ah, no, this laver and mix it in with the rice? Interesting…"

Zoro ran out, somehow managing to find his way outside to where it was softly drizzling again. He wanted it to rain—a good, hard, cleansing shower that would rid him of these impurities. He breathed in deeply, savoring the scent of the earth and the water. This was what he had missed at Navarone. The city was nice in its own way, but the air was too smoggy for his spirit to relax, and he had always felt restless.

The mosquitoes, ever-present in this humid climate, buzzing as loudly as the cicadas, rose in a swarm from the puddles as he walked.

---

Sanji sat in his bedroom, worrying.

_Okay, he's a grown man,_ Sanji thought to himself for the hundredth time that evening. _Even if he gets lost, he can take care of himself. He can find his way back, eventually._

_He's been acting weird lately._

_So have I._

Sanji sighed. He swore to himself that he might have been developing split personalities.

_Why, though? What's changed? Nothing has changed. We're still the same old guys we used to be. Friendlier, maybe. Just a little. I think he's a great guy…he's only an asshole sometimes. When he wants to be._

Sanji remembered how Zoro had stared at his legs. If he didn't know better, he'd say that Zoro had been ogling them—he'd seen it plenty of times, when men would stare at Nami as they were growing up. The expression on Zoro's face had been different, though—less lewd, and more astonished. _Maybe he was just impressed by my technique._

"_Tadaima…"_ Zoro walked through the door wearily, soaked to the skin and looking like he had just seen all the evils in the world pass before his eyes. Sanji noted with interest that Zoro's gaze fell on him briefly before skittering off like a drop of water on a windshield. "How was dinner?"

"It was good. They taught me how to—"

"That's nice," Zoro said absently, obviously not paying attention; he had a headache, and the room was far too stuffy. Sanji huffed moodily.

"Don't ask if you don't care," Sanji said, sticking out his lower lip in a fair imitation of both Luffy and Chopper at the same time. Zoro took one look and laughed.

"Cute."

Sanji stared.

Zoro Roronoa did not find things to be_ cute._ He was supposed to be a fucking demon.

"Did you just call me cute, asshole?" Sanji scowled.

Zoro's head snapped up as he realized what he had said. After meditating for so many hours, his body had reached a point of tired relaxation where he no longer realized what he was saying or doing. It was like his body was on autopilot.

And he had just crashed.

"No," Zoro said hastily. "I said 'shut your face and leave me alone.'"

"No, you didn't."

"Of course I didn't, Captain Obvious!" Zoro turned suddenly as he began to yell, all the benefits of meditation quickly draining away.

"Then why the hell did you call me _cute?"_ Sanji stood, his hands balled into fists. He quickly loosened them; if they were going to fight, he'd need his hands to be supple to support his body.

"Accident," Zoro muttered.

"Freudian slip," a muffled voice said from the wall. Both men looked around in shock.

"Who the hell said that?" Zoro demanded to thin air.

"Me," the voice said again.

"We can hear you," another voice said. "You guys are so loud."

"Chopper? Usopp?" Zoro asked.

"Yeah," Chopper said.

"Ack, Chopper, don't tell him who we are! He'll kill us!"

"You just called me Chopper. He knows already."

"…Ah…"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Forget it. I'm going out into the hot springs. My head hurts." _Maybe the hot water will clear up my head,_ Zoro thought as he sniffled slightly. Maybe he had allergies. He grabbed a robe and went right back out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Sanji sighed as he flumped back onto the bed.

"You should go after him."

"Great, another voice. Who is it this time?" Sanji asked tiredly as he spoke to the empty room.

"It's Robin. We're on the other side," Robin said in amusement. "Could you go after him? I worry about him sometimes, but he won't listen to me anymore. Please?"

Sanji sighed before pulling himself off the bed again and going to the door. "Sure, Robin. Usopp, Chopper?"

Usopp's voice was slightly nervous through the wall. "Yes…?"

"If you keep eavesdropping I'm going to have to kill you."

---

Zoro heard the _splash_ of another body slipping into the water not far from him and groaned. His headache had escalated from a mild to a head-splitting one in a matter of minutes. Without opening his eyes, he asked, "Who is it?"

"Santa Claus," a voice as smooth as cream, with a rough, crumbly edge at the end like the texture of crumbly, hard cheese. Zoro couldn't help but use food analogies around this guy.

"You never brought me my pony, Santa Claus."

"Did you want one?"

"No. I never wrote you any damned letters, so how would you know?"

"Because if I can tell who's naughty or nice then I think I can tell what you want."

"Bah," Zoro grumbled as he slipped lower into the water, letting the light drizzle that was falling sprinkle onto the tip of his nose. "I actually wanted a good sword when I was a kid."

"How surprising."

"What do you want?" Zoro asked bluntly, cutting off the banter.

"Just checking on you…making sure you don't drown and all," Sanji said. He sat cross-legged in the water, leaning closer to Zoro so he didn't have to shout across the water.

"Come closer. I'm can't hear you, and I'm not going to bite."

"You can't hear me because your head's halfway under the water," Sanji said as he swam closer nonetheless. He took a seat next to Zoro and resumed his position. "What's up?"

"…Nothing."

"Don't lie."

"Don't make me."

Sanji scowled in frustration. He had been doing that a lot lately, probably because this idiot was being such a pain. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

Sanji blinked at the frankness. "Really?"

"Well, don't you trust me?"

_Come to think of it, I do_,Sanji thought. "Well, yes."

"There. We trust each other. Now leave me alone."

Sanji resisted the urge to rub his throbbing temples. "Why won't you open up, then?"

Zoro stiffened noticeably. "I think you may already be aware of this, but whenever I trust people then things tend to go badly."

"You trust the others."

"You mean like Luffy, and Chopper, and Usopp?"

"And Ace, Franky, Tashigi…even Robin."

"Of course I trust them," Zoro said softly. "They're _nakama._ Closer than family. But that doesn't mean I have to share everything with them."

"You're trying to protect them, then."

Zoro snorted a drop of water out of his nostrils. "Not so much 'protect' and 'not burden.'"

"They probably won't mind. They intuitively know a lot about you, but it's hard for them to help you when you're like this."

"I've known them for years. Why do you think it'll be any different with you?"

"Because I'm special." Sanji held his breath, wondering if he had taken a terrible risk.

Zoro's eyes opened for the first time since the conversation had begun. Sanji marveled at those eyes—whatever pigment made his hair green must affect his eye color too, because they were a deep shade of brown, almost black, with green flecks that shone brilliantly. _Zoro's eyes…they tell more than his words ever have,_ Sanji mused. _When he's angry, they get darker…when he's happy, they shine like light through a canopy of leaves…when he's thoughtful, they're like this. Like gems in a bed of rock._

"You're special?" Zoro's question was flat, but Sanji hoped that he wasn't just imagining that hint of amusement.

"Yes. I am special." Sanji thought a moment before adding another risky extension. "To you."

"You're special to me," Zoro repeated, rolling the words over his tongue as one samples a foreign delicacy to decide whether it was delicious or revolting. "You…"

Sanji saw Zoro's mind begin to wander and waited patiently. At least the water was warm, so he could stay in for a while.

Zoro's thoughts drifted as he began to ponder. _Special, huh…_ Zoro was not a sentimental guy, and Zoro himself knew this. The only people who had ever been special to him had left him—one by death, and one by heartbreak. Kuina and Robin. Two women that he would never quite reach or understand. There was Mihawk, too, but he didn't count; Zoro was just waiting until he had the opportunity to beat the cocky bastard.

Zoro's eyes refocused as he surveyed Sanji almost dreamily. "White skin…"

Sanji felt goosebumps rise from his skin, even under the hot water. There was something scarier in those half-focused, wistful eyes than the sharp orbs that glared when Zoro was angry. Sanji had no way of predicting what Zoro was going to do now. "Yes, idiot, I do have white skin. Great observation."

Zoro suddenly uncoiled his legs from each other, and Sanji found himself face to face with the swordsman. Sanji was certain that Zoro had lost it.

"Flaxen hair…"

"Flaxen? Who the hell says flaxen anymore?" Sanji demanded nervously as he began to back away. Unfortunately, when one sits on a rock bench, there isn't much room for scooting.

"Pink…lips." Zoro's fingers rose from the water and gently touched Sanji's lips.

Sanji was terrified. He couldn't even say a word for fear of those fingers.

Zoro was unaware of this terror. In the hazy state of his semi-consciousness, all he was aware of was what he felt with those fingers. Unimaginably soft lips that opened ever so slightly with the pressure he applied.

Zoro's hooded eyes rose to meet Sanji's wide ones. "Sapphire? No…too dark…too hard…powder blue, sky blue…" His other hand moved to rest on Sanji's shoulder gently as he leaned forward. He was no longer thinking, but merely reacting to stimuli as his body met them.

Sanji saw Zoro leaning forward and his heart began to beat like a rabbit's, at a pace that seemed to be far too fast for a human being to handle. His shoulder felt like it was aflame as Zoro touched it, and his lips quivered. He was still covered in goosebumps.

When Zoro's eyes looked up towards the sky and into the back of his head, Sanji thought something was wrong.

He knew something was the matter when Zoro slumped forward, his body limp. Sanji realized that he wasn't just imagining the heat from Zoro's hand on his shoulder—Zoro was really burning up. A quick check of his forehead revealed a fever too hot to be from the hot springs.

Sanji's throat seized for a moment in panic before he managed to get a word out, his lips freed from Zoro's touch.

"_CHOPPER!!!!"_ Sanji's scream tore into the air, rending it in two like a jagged knife, and he almost hoped that it would wake up the swordsman whose body burning from the inside out.

---

Chopper had only had to take one look at Zoro's face, which had rapidly flushed to a cherry-red hue, to grab a phone and punch in the emergency code. The grim look on the doctor's face was enough to tell them that he could not take care of Zoro with the resources available. Zoro had been covered with a thick blanket and a cold towel on his head until the ambulance had arrived.

They all sat in the waiting room (except for Chopper, who had forcibly made himself a part of the team examining Zoro). Most of them were still in their pajamas. Sanji wore a worn pair of jeans and shirt provided by the hospital's lost and found box; he had come in the soaked robe from the hot springs. It was quiet; the emergency room was not too busy that night, fortunately, because Sanji was sure that he would punch someone if they pressed the wrong nerve at just this moment. His anxiety was such that he couldn't even kick anyone.

When Chopper entered the waiting room, everyone looked up in tense anticipation.

"He's stable," Chopper said. His shoulders were slack from exhaustion. "But…he might have to be here for a while. At least a week in the hospital to ensure plenty of fluid intake and to protect him."

"What does he have?" Robin asked calmly. Her hands were trembling slightly.

"Dengue fever," Chopper replied. "It's more prevalent in especially tropical areas, but it's not surprising that he got it here considering the number of mosquitoes that live in this humid climate."

"Is there a cure?" Ace asked unsteadily. "He'll be alright, won't he?"

"He should get better in time," Chopper said. "As long as he isn't exposed to more mosquitoes or infections then it'll just take liquids and time. He'll have to take it easy, though. I'll stay here with him. You guys go on home, it'll be a while before he wakes up."

"We can't—"

"No, Chopper, please—"

"You must," Chopper said firmly, cutting off the stream of protests. "I have been taking precautions, but you are all at risk for catching it as well. Actually," he paused, "Sanji. You have to stay here, too. You might have caught it from him in the water. Everyone else, go."

When Chopper was in 'doctor mode,' no one could refuse him. The others left, promising to come back as soon as it was allowed (or even before then).

"Sanji." Chopper took a seat next to him. "Are you okay?"

Sanji nodded stiffly.

"You haven't said a word since we got here."

Sanji shrugged awkwardly.

"Sanji, I need to know, did he say anything about his symptoms? We're going to have to know when and where he came into contact with mosquitoes and whether anyone else is at risk.

"He said his head hurt, when we were arguing," Sanji croaked at last. "He was out in the rain before he came back, too, and then we went back out. I don't know what he did during that time. He's been out of it all day, but it only got really weird in the hot springs. He was almost delirious."

"He might have had a compromised immune system from standing out in the rain all night…" Chopper noted to himself. "Coupled with a mosquito bite or two, he could have easily caught it. Thanks, Sanji, I'm going to go tell the other doctors so we can prepare. We have to let everyone know to take measures to keep their immune systems strong."

"Are there vaccinations? Will we get sick?" Sanji asked.

Chopper shook his head. "There aren't any vaccines available. All we can do is prepare and hope for the best, and pray that the epidemic won't be too bad."

"Epidemic?"

"Yes." Chopper nodded wearily. "Dengue fever…it'll probably sweep through the whole town, if we're lucky. The whole island, if we're not." He turned and left, leaving Sanji to his own troubled thoughts.

A nurse approached Sanji not long afterwards, her face partially obscured by a medical mask. "Sir? Please come this way, we'll need to check you in."

The next few hours passed in a blur. Gloved and masked nurses took his temperature, blood pressure, blood samples, and hooked him up to a device that monitored his bodily functions. He was given a hospital gown to wear and his own room, with a television set in case he got bored. He looked out the window and saw that it was still raining.

---

"Mr. Baratie?"

Sanji cracked one eye open. He had fallen asleep staring out the window.

"Mr. Baratie, there's a phone call for you."

"Who is it?" Sanji asked as he took the phone.

"_Oi, cook."_

Sanji sat up as quickly as though he'd sat on a pin. "You!"

There was a chuckle on the other end. _"Yes, me. Are you happy to hear from me?"_

Sanji sat back, relaxing a little. "Hell, no. You're still alive?"

Zoro scoffed. _"Of course I am. No fucking mosquito is going to kill me."_

"That's…great," Sanji sighed in genuine relief. "Hey, where are you? Why are you calling me?"

"_I'm in another room. They've quarantined me and won't let me move around too much. Something about it not being good for my condition to weight lift…pfft…"_

Sanji smiled as he tried to imagine Zoro lifting his hospital bed to train. "Yeah, well, of course. Their job is to keep you healthy."

"_I won't be happy if I lose muscle mass while wasting away here. Did you know that they have beds with straps for your arms and legs?"_

"…" Sanji decided not to dwell too much on the fact that Zoro was strapped down in a bed reserved for the mentally insane. "How are you?"

"_A bit cold now. They said it's part of the normal symptoms. But my head feels great. I think they put something nice in this IV."_

Sanji laughed. "Lucky you, all they've given me is sodium chloride."

"_Well, too bad for you."_

"Any idea when we'll be able to get out?"

"_I don't know about you, but they said that I'll be here until my white blood cell count rises or something. I think Chopper told them to use a lot of medical jargon so I don't ask too many questions."_

"I see…"

"Mr. Baratie, it's time for lunch." A nurse (she looked like she might have been pretty under the mask) wheeled in a cart with plastic boxes stacked high.

"Oh, lunchtime!" Sanji said eagerly.

"_Heh, just wait until you taste the food."_ Zoro's voice was crackling with wicked amusement. _"I'll call you again sometime later. I'm freaking bored in here, there's nothing to do except watch the paint peel. Bye."_

"Later," Sanji said as he hung up. "Thank you, my dear." The nurse smiled as she left, and Sanji opened the box.

When he took the first bite, he realized that hospital food did live up to its horrible reputation.

"Goddamnit."

---

Sanji was abruptly awoken from his slumber by the door banging open and a cheerful, "Hey, Sanji!"

He opened one eye (the other refused to open, you know how it is) and glared as Luffy grinned cheerfully from his perch on the edge of the bed. "How the hell do you stay up there without falling off? It looks like you're hanging on with your toes."

"He's like a monkey," Nami said as she came through the door. "Luffy, try not to be so rowdy in a hospital. You might hurt someone."

Sanji beamed as he saw her walk in, followed by the others. "What are you guys doing here?" Sanji asked curiously. "Are you allowed to be here?"

Chopper came in last, still wearing a mask but looking pleased. "You tested negative for dengue fever. You're free to go, but I have to stay here to watch Zoro. You guys," Chopper said, suddenly serious, "Be careful when you leave. We don't know how many people might be carrying this strain, so wash your hands often and just follow normal hygiene rules."

"What are those?" Luffy asked, picking his nose and then moving to pick at his ear. Chopper practically twitched as he watched Luffy, but abruptly turned and walked off, muttering under his breath.

"I'll teach you," Nami said sweetly before smacking his head. "First things first, don't do that."

"Ow!"

"I'm leaving?" Sanji asked. "But it's hardly been any time at all…"

"The blood tests only take a few hours," Robin informed him. "So you're free to go."

Sanji glanced at the phone for a moment.

"Sanji?"

Sanji shook his head slightly. "Ah, I'll join you as soon as I'm decent. Er…my clothes…"

Ace threw a bag on the bed. "Here, I grabbed some of the less fruity looking clothes so you can walk out of here in something other than a hospital gown. C'mon, guys, give him some privacy." A nurse came in to remove the IV and unhook Sanji from all the medical machinery.

As Sanji slowly pulled off his gown and pulled on his clothes, he thought about Zoro. _He hasn't got anyone to talk to in quarantine…it's none of my damned business…but…_

"Sanji, where are you going?" Nami asked as Sanji came out of his room and walked briskly off to the information desk.

"I'll get back to the inn on my own later," Sanji said. "I just need to take care of some business before I go."

Nami was about to protest, but Robin placed a finger on her lips. "Shh," Robin said. "Watch." She pointed to where Sanji was speaking to the woman at the front desk.

"English?"

"Yes, I speak English. How may I help you?"

Sanji sighed in relief. "I want to visit the quarantine ward. For Roronoa."

"I'm afraid you can't…"

"I'm not going to go into the room, I just want to see him. Isn't there some sort of glass wall we can talk through?"

The woman nodded slowly. "Down the stairs into the third basement level. Room 108B."

Sanji thanked her gratefully before waving at them and trotting off briskly.

"See? He'll be fine. Let's go," Robin said.

---

Sanji walked down the hall, unnerved by how quiet it was down here. Apparently these guys didn't get many visitors.

"Sanji! What are you still doing here?" Chopper was standing next to a trash can as he pulled off a pair of gloves.

"I came to visit Zoro," Sanji said. "He said he's been bored."

Chopper's eyes widened slightly. "I'm such an idiot! I should have talked to him more!"

Sanji laughed. "Don't worry, I'm sure you have enough work to do without having to worry about entertaining that mossball. Where is he?"

"Here, this is the visiting room," Chopper said as he pulled a door open. "I'll let him know that you're here."

Sanji went into the tiny room and sank into the white plastic chair that sat in front of a glass wall. There was a small microphone and speaker at roughly speaking level, and Sanji scooted the chair up so he was in front of it.

"_Hey, cook."_ Zoro's voice still sounded as it had over the phone; Sanji supposed it was because they were speaking through the microphones. Zoro took a seat on a chair that looked far more comfortable than the one that Sanji was sitting on. The nurse who had helped him into the room, bowed before leaving.

"Hey," Sanji said, trying to look calm and composed. "How are you?"

"_The same as I was the last time I called. Which was less than a day ago, mind you. These guys keep a clock and calendar in the room so I don't go crazy wondering how much time has gone by."_

Sanji took in Zoro's appearance. The swordsman looked odd with an IV hooked up to one arm and with several wires attacked to various parts of his body. It was as though someone was performing medical experiments on a lab rat. Although the red pallor had faded from his face, it was still not its customary bronze color—more like an ashen version of its former self.

He looked like a man who was not fighting an easy battle.

"So…um…what've you been up to?" Sanji asked in an attempt to not be awkward.

Zoro rolled his eyes. _"Well, they haven't got anything to do in there except watch the clock, so I've been counting in increments of sixty, pretty much. Sometimes one-twenty when I'm feeling adventurous."_

Sanji felt a wave of pity wash over him as he saw Zoro grimacing.

"_Wipe that pitying expression off of your face. I won't be in here long."_

"These things take time, idiot."

"_Not for me. Two days, tops, I'm telling you."_

Sanji grinned. "You're such an idiot. You can't beat medical facts, you know."

"_I can try. It's not like I've got anything else to do down here."_

Sanji thought for a moment. "Do you want me to bring anything to you? Like a book, or a game, or something…"

"_Nah," _Zoro shook his head._"They'd just have to destroy it afterwards so it doesn't carry any germs out."_

Sanji sighed before moving to the topic he had wanted to talk about. "Hey…"

"_What?"_ Zoro's eyes were sharp, and Sanji was a little relieved that they bore none of the half-conscious haziness that they had when they were in the hot spring.

"You know how, um, we were talking before you collapsed…"

"…_yeah?"_

"What—well—what were you thinking?" Sanji stuttered.

Zoro looking into his hands for a moment, and Sanji wondered whether he was going to dodge the question. _"Hell…"_

"What?"

"_I said, what the hell, I'm stuck behind this wall and might as well tell you," _Zoro said with the desperation of a dying man about to be vindicated. _"You…I…"_

Sanji waited. Drops of sweat were beading on his brow and in his hands as he sat in anticipation.

"_You're a damned nuisance, did you know that?"_ Zoro suddenly shouted. Sanji jumped back in shock. _"You with your damned curly eyebrow—"_

"Oi, don't bring my eyebrow into this."

"—_and your freaking long legs, with your skin…it's so white! Good lord, it looks like icing! That blond hair, like gold. You say my hair is unnatural? Yours isn't either! It's just way too golden! Those lips, how the hell are they so pink and soft? It's just not right." _Zoro leaned forward, his chair tipping precariously as he put one hand against the glass. _"Those lips…that I wanted…"_ Zoro stopped himself. He was this close to messing up whatever kind of friendship he had formed with this man.

"Zoro."

Zoro winced at the use of his name. How many times had Sanji called him by his real name? He could probably count on one hand with plenty of fingers leftover.

If Sanji was trying to get him to confess to something, it wasn't going to work.

"You can tell me anything, you know that, right? Zoro?"

Okay, maybe it was going to work.

Sanji pulled the chair even closer to the glass until his hand was up against to Zoro's own. He could feel the heat radiating from Zoro's hand even through the thick glass. _Please,_ Sanji thought, _Just say it._

Sanji wasn't sure why he was so desperate to hear something that would normally freak him out to no end.

"_Sanji…I wanted to kiss you."_ Zoro pushed out the words slowly, hoping that it would make them less dreadful. _"I just wanted to…" _He stopped. He couldn't finish this.

Sanji had somehow been expecting this, even if Zoro had hardly ever given any indication of feeling more affection for him than one found in the typical man-to-man relationship. He just had been afraid that Zoro would actually say it. He did value his friendship with Zoro more than with anyone else (except Nami, maybe, but she was almost family in a sense) but had lately been feeling deeply unsatisfied by something.

But now he was just confused.

Even though he had expected it, had even wanted to hear it, it was too much for him to handle.

"Shit…" Sanji stood and ran out the door as quickly as his legs could take him.

Zoro looked at the condensation that Sanji had left on the glass in the shape of his hand. He pressed his hand up against the glass firmly, as though he could pass through and grasp the hand that was no longer there.

---

"Hey Sanji, what's—" Usopp's greeting was promptly ignored as Sanji tore past him and ran into his room, slamming the door shut. "Jeez, what's eating at him?"

"Phase two," Robin said. "They're moving along quite quickly. Now is the point where they are extremely awkward and jumpy. Like giant rabbit-men."

"Isn't this a bit cruel? What if you were, um…" Usopp didn't want to say the last word for fear of his life.

"If I was wrong?" Robin supplied. Usopp nodded nervously.

"Then I'll just have to make sure that they never see each other again."

"S-s-seriously?!" Usopp exclaimed.

Robin laughed. "No. Don't worry. I'm rarely ever wrong." She walked off, with a thick book in one hand and a cup of iced coffee in the other.

"Scary…"

Sanji lay face-first on his bed, with one blanket wrapped around his body and a pillow on either side of his head.

"To kiss me, huh…?" Sanji murmured under his breath. "How closely has he been watching me?" _Probably as closely as I've been watching him. Not that I've ever realized that I have…_Sanji realized that since the first day that they had begun their friendship, Zoro had been there to help and protect him. Zoro's influence had, admittedly, increased the flow of customers that came to the _Paris Baguette_—god, it seemed like it had been so long since he had worked there—and his strength had been there to help him, like when the other guys had jumped him in the hot springs. Sanji recalled the way that Zoro's torso had protected Sanji from the brunt of the mischief, and the way the scar twisted around a body that looked as though it had been cut from marble by a god's hand. Yet, despite this, Zoro occasionally revealed a soft side…

He actually admired the bastard.

"Maybe I should go apologize…"

---

"Dr. Chopper, Roronoa-san has started to weight-lift again." A nurse rushed up to Chopper, holding two frayed ropes. "He also broke out of his bindings."

Chopper groaned. "Zoro…" He ran to Zoro's room. "Zoro! What the hell are you doing?"

"Training," Zoro grunted as he lifted the bed. Every article of furniture had been piled on top, making it as heavy as possible.

"Why? If you compromise your health, you might have to stay here even longer."

"Great. Then I won't have to face him," Zoro muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing…" Zoro put the bed down gently and stood. "Chopper, how long do I have to stay here?"

Chopper checked the chart hanging on the wall and Zoro's vital signs. "You do realize that you must be some kind of mutant, right?"

"Chopper, are you insulting me? It sounds like you are."

Chopper shook his head. "Your white blood cell count has gone up drastically, and the dengue fever seems to have been chased out of your body…I can't tell how, though. You'll be allowed to leave as soon as your blood shows no trace of the dengue fever bacterium."

"Excellent," Zoro said as he pushed a chair off of his bed and sat on the empty space. "Hey, Chopper, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"Well, you know how a long time ago I told you when I met Sanji…"

"About how you were showing all the symptoms of being gay for him, right?"

"Are those proper medical terms?"

"No, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah…well…is there any way I can test if I am?"

"If you're what?"

"Gay."

Chopper slapped a hand to his forehead. "Zoro, being gay isn't a medical condition. The only way to know is to just test it out."

Zoro sighed. "Thanks, Chopper. I think I'm going to take a nap."

Chopper nodded before patting Zoro on the arm. "It'll be okay, Zoro. Don't fret too much." _Looks like Robin might have been right,_ Chopper thought.

---

It took four days for Zoro to clear the fever out of his system.

Zoro paid little attention to the fuss being made around him as he was made ready to be released from quarantine—like some animal being released into the wild. The pricks of last-minute blood tests and swabs of sterile solutions being rubbed on his body didn't bother him as he sat listlessly in bed. He caught snatches of conversation once in a while, but not enough to make it coherent.

"_Blood pressure is…"_

"…_potassium levels…"_

"_Slower recovery…less endorphins..."_

"…_affect it…?"_

"_Maybe…"_

"You're ready to go now, Roronoa-san," the nurse said as she patted him gently on the arm. "Don't forget to avoid swampy areas or places with high mosquito populations. You're supposed to take it easy for the next few days, and take in plenty of fluids, okay?"

Zoro nodded absently as he stood and ambled to the door.

"The hospital's staff will take us back," Chopper said. "They want us to avoid the crowded subways just in case…"

The ride back was uneventful, but the greeting they received was jubilant.

"Zoro! Chopper!" Luffy sprinted out of the inn and nearly bowled them over in his excitement. "They wouldn't let us visit, and I got sooo mad but then Nami said it was for the best so it was okay."

"How are you feeling?" Franky asked. "Not going to collapse on us again, are you?" He ushered everyone back inside. "Come on, Tashigi said something about having prepared tea for us. He can drink tea, right, doctor?"

Chopper beamed. "Yes, he doesn't have a strict diet right now. Actually, that hospital food really was awful…where's Sanji? Can he cook some real food for us?"

They looked around and realized that the chef hadn't joined the jubilant reunion.

Usopp sighed. "He was a bit disturbed when he came back…I haven't seen him much for the past few days," Usopp said. "I wonder…"

"Let's try to avoid too much excitement while we can," Robin suggested. "I'll get a nice futon for you to sit on while we drink tea, Zoro."

Zoro allowed himself to be led around, covered with a light blanket, and generally pampered by the women while the men watched in amusement. "Hey, how long have we been here?"

"What?" Tashigi asked, putting down the squat teapot and passing steaming cups of tea around.

"How long have we been in Japan?"

"Ah…" Tashigi checked the calendar. "A week. Why?"

"Aren't we scheduled to go back to the States soon?" Zoro asked.

"We've pushed that back a few days. Don't worry," Vivi said. "Just rest. Was there anything in particular that you wanted to do before returning?"

Zoro sighed. "I'm supposed to go to Kyoto for Mihawk. I was going to visit Kuina's old man while I was there, too."

"That can very easily be arranged," Robin said. "Kyoto's supposed to be the cultural capital of Japan. There will be quite a lot to do while we're there. We've already taken in most of the sights while you were in the hospital."

"Oh, great."

The sound of the sliding door drew their attention to the side. Sanji stood in the doorway, looking pale and drawn as he stared down at Zoro.

"You," Sanji rasped. "We need to talk."

Never had a room so packed full of people been emptied so quickly. Zoro looked up at Sanji, his face devoid of emotion.

He braced himself.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: A relatively fast update, just for Pamplemoose.

Cameo appearance of another Jump superstar!

---

Sanji lit a cigarette shakily, his hands fumbling with the match. The empty cigarette box fell to the floor, crumpled. Zoro watched in vapid interest, remembering what Nami had said a while ago.

"_When Zeff died…Sanji was devastated. He used to only smoke on occasion after picking up the habit to spite Zeff and prove that he was a man, but it got much worse. But lately…he's down to a couple of smokes a day. Not a couple of packs, like he used to."_

Zoro had only seen Sanji smoking on the day they had fought outside of Rain Dinners. Never after that.

Sanji finally managed to light the cigarette, coughing slightly as he took a drag.

"So."

Zoro was silent, his nose twitching in response to the smoke.

Sanji looked at Zoro as he stood by the window. He lacked all of his usual suave countenance, and his shoulders were stiff while his limbs were rigid. The cigarette was clenched between his teeth, and his forehead was wrinkled by stress lines. He had the slightly sour air of someone who had not showered or been out and about for a few days.

Sanji did _not_ need this. First, he had nearly had a heart attack when Zoro had collapsed, and then Zoro had started to pull all this confessing shit on him. He had thought that Zoro would be the last person to bring more drama into his life, but apparently he was wrong.

Worst of all, Sanji had no idea how to deal with this situation. He had been confessed to by plenty of men and women, for sure—he did honestly think he was very attractive and charming—but those had all generally been casual things; a classmate here, or a brief acquaintance there. He hadn't developed such close relationships with them, nor had he really feared the consequences of losing them. It startled him to realize that he just wanted the old beer-drinking, belching, and generally macho Zoro who was unbearable in perfectly caveman-ish ways. Not the "things are awkward because I want you" kind of tension.

"So you're gay, huh?" Sanji's question was blunt, as if subtlety was an art that he didn't care to practice at the moment.

Zoro felt something twinge in his chest at those words, but merely shrugged.

"Fancy that," Sanji continued, puffing furiously on his cigarette. "You're the _last person_ anyone on earth would suspect of it. The great, manly Zoro Roronoa! Man among men! Who converted you, Bon?" Sanji felt a great heat rising at the base of his skull, muddling his sense and making him hopelessly open up every thought that popped into his head.

"Stop it." Zoro felt the twinge continue persistently, and he leaned against the table for support. If he had been more familiar with the feeling, he would have recognized the symptoms of a breaking heart. But Zoro had never really had much experience with this kind of thing; there had been Robin, of course, but that was more of a sledgehammer than this persistent aching he felt. Even with women like Tashigi and Vivi it hadn't been this bad. Those had been mutual, after all, and perfectly rational decisions.

There was nothing rational about this situation.

"Stop what?" Sanji asked. "It's true, isn't it? You're gay."

"I'm not gay."

"Oh, so you're _bi,"_ Sanji exclaimed, slapping his forehead with his palm exaggeratedly. "I should have known! After all, there was Robin, and Tashigi, and Vivi before me. God only knows how many women you've done before realizing that you needed a man to fulfill—"

For a man fresh out of the hospital, Roronoa Zoro was _fast._

"Listen here." Zoro was pinning Sanji down in a lock that would have been difficult even for Daz Bones to break; one hand held Sanji's wrist with the cigarette above the wooden floor, and the other was locked on Sanji's throat. "Don't you say another _fucking word,_ you understand? When you said we needed to talk I thought we were going to _talk_, not have a stupid barrage of insults. But since that's what you were obviously looking for then this talk is over."

Sanji coughed, struggling for breath, until Zoro loosened his grip slightly. The only intelligible words that came out were "—goddamn fu—green-haired basta—faggo—"

Zoro looked down at Sanji in disappointment. "So that's the way it's going to be?"

An inquisitive grunt of discomfort emanated from Sanji's throat.

"You're just going to dismiss me as some fucking fag and walk off to live in your little homophobic world?" Zoro snarled, his grip tightening again. "I'm not Zoro fucking Roronoa now, I'm just some stupid fruitcake? Is that it, Sanji?" When he felt Sanji struggling more faintly under him, Zoro released him and moved away, sitting on the futon and holding a cup of tea as though nothing had happened. It was amazing how very easy it was for Zoro to sit there, not letting a single emotion escape. It was easier for him to clamp down on them than to let them go.

Sanji rubbed his throat and glared at Zoro.

"Call me a faggot if you want." Zoro leaned in towards Sanji without any expression on his face whatsoever. "Just don't let it affect the others. Keep them out of this shit. Okay?"

"Why would I bring them into this?"

"We have a fourteen hour plane ride _back_ to the States. Think about it."

"Whatever…" Sanji turned back to the window, wondering whether his bruised windpipe could handle the cigarette smoke.

Zoro groaned and flumped back onto the futon. "Fuck my life…"

Sanji glared out the window, cursing the series of events that had led up to this. It seemed like he could never catch a break in life. He turned slightly to see Zoro prone on the floor, his eyes closed in a frown and his mouth slashing across his face like a knife wound. He had seen Zoro in every range of emotions, from content to angry to sorrowful; every expression fascinated him. He had seen a vulnerable Zoro, when they discussed his history with Robin. There was happy Zoro too, in the midst of a good fight or among their—what was the word?—_nakama._

There had been that desire to find something beautiful for the swordsman.

What had happened?

Sanji recalled scattered memories of the times he had spent with Zoro. Dancing in the club and seeing Zoro twist to techno; paintballing; riding the aerocraft; many other little instances in which he had seen Zoro let himself relax just a little.

When was the last time he had seen Zoro smile easily?

He swallowed the anxiety that clogged up his voice and coughed slightly.

He remembered how unruffled he had been after seeing Robin naked. And how he had responded to Zoro's feverish advances. Sanji knew that it hadn't been simple fear from Zoro's unusual behavior that night in the hot springs. There had been something more primal in his reaction. He had been excited, like a treasure hunter about to open up an ancient box whose prize has eluded him for ages.

"It's funny how we always resort to violence. Namely you," Sanji finally croaked with a throaty chuckle.

Zoro didn't smile.

Sanji silently moved and knelt beside the futon, stubbing his spent cigarette in the ashtray on the table. Zoro didn't move. It was likely that Zoro was very, very aware of Sanji's presence but chose to ignore it.

"It's kind of weird, the word fag," Sanji said conversationally. "It was meant to be something that they would burn in medieval times—bundles of sticks, actually. Or a cigarette, depending on what region you're in. You could even say I suck on a fag for most of the day."

There was an oppressive aura emanating from Zoro that suggested that Sanji _get the hell to his point._

Sanji swallowed thickly. He was acutely aware of the room and his own body and felt his skin prickle with every inch he moved closer to Zoro. Robin hadn't sent thrills through his body, but being close to Zoro had set him off like nothing had. It was time to test his idea.

Sanji took a deep breath. "But you know, it takes two sticks to start a fire."

Zoro mulled over that a second before his eyes flew open in realization. "Wha—" He sat up, nearly crashing into Sanji, who had leaned down with lips slightly open in preparation for what quickly became a rather awkward, painful, and sloppy kiss. "Shmmt," Zoro mumbled through a mouthful of Sanji, pulling away hastily. Zoro ignored his painfully thumping heart and throbbing blood vessels as he tried to ignore the elation from the contact and concentrate on giving Sanji some space.

Sanji's response was to put a hand on the back of Zoro's head and pull them together into a proper kiss.

Zoro closed his eyes and felt his arm automatically move back to prop himself up. Sanji's lips were just as soft as they looked, and hot puffs of air warmed them with every breath. His breath was overwhelmed by the smell of cigarettes, but Zoro didn't particularly mind or care—all he knew was that he was _kissing Sanji._ The slender hand that was now clutching his hair in a firm grip dispelled any sense of doubt he had had about this kiss, and he promptly moved to snake his other arm around Sanji's waist before the cook changed his mind.

Sanji's heart was pounding in his chest at his own audacity, and he felt Zoro relax under him and even hold his waist. There was something about Zoro's kissing technique that made him excited; it was like someone had injected adrenaline into his veins. There was a heady rush. It was impossible to think.

After what seemed to be an eternity, they broke apart. Zoro saw that Sanji looked dazed; they probably wore the same expression.

"So."

"Um."

"This is awkward."

"Oh, hell." Zoro grabbed Sanji and flipped him into a position where he was on the futon. Sanji's heart nearly burst out of his ribcage when he realized he was on a futon with Zoro.

"Oi, wait…"

Zoro scooted in closer to Sanji, and Sanji closed his eyes in terror. Weren't they moving a little fast?

When Sanji felt something fuzzy on his shoulder, he squinted down and saw that Zoro had fallen asleep next to him, a look of immense satisfaction on his face. His face was smooth and free of worry.

Sanji grinned and settled down as well. "I guess we can talk about it later," he murmured, gingerly placing an arm over Zoro's before closing his eyes. He hadn't been able to sleep well, so he might as well try while he can.

---

"_Are they done talking?"_

"_I don't know. You check, Chopper."_

"_Me?! Why?"_

"_Because Zoro's the least likely to kill you."_

"_I think Robin should go. She can kill Zoro if he tries to attack her."_

"_Oh, you—I'll go."_

"_But Nami, what if—"_

"_I'll be fine, Luffy. Aw, isn't that cute?"_

"_They're sleeping together!"_

"_How cuddly! I just want to pinch their cheeks!"_

"_Hush! Let's get out of here before they wake up…"_

Zoro made a mental note to get revenge on the airplane. But for now, he was warm and comfortable and happy. It was a nice change.

---

Sanji woke up feeling extremely refreshed. The room was dark; it must have been night time. The day's warmth had tapered off a little, although the humidity hadn't at all. He was about to stretch when he felt something heavy that was definitely _not_ a blanket grip him tighter.

He was sleeping with Zoro.

_Okay, Sanji. Be very, very calm._

He suddenly remembered what had just transpired.

_You _kissed _him. Zoro. You kissed Zoro._ Variations of these words echoed throughout his head.

_You're sleeping with Zoro._

Sanji opened his eyes and found himself facing the wall. He had fallen asleep facing Zoro. Turning his head slightly, he found that Zoro was now somehow on the other side, with one arm under his head and the other firmly tucked over his waist. A faint, rumbling snore could be heard and felt. This faded away into a slight grunting sound.

"You up, cook?"

Sanji released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "Yeah. How long…?"

"It's about eleven right now. I've been up for a while."

"You snore when you're awake?"

Zoro snorted. "I wasn't snoring. I just sound like that when I'm really relaxed."

"Yeah. Like when you sleep. Snoring."

"Pfft…" Zoro poked him good-naturedly and squeezed him slightly. "Are you okay?"

"Mm. Why?"

"You're on a futon with a man."

"Ah…well, I—I don't really mind."

Zoro's grip tightened a little. "You 'don't mind'?"

Sanji shrugged slightly. "I'm not stiff, so I must have been in a relaxed position. That indicates that even if my head is about to explode with the apparent absurdity of it all, my body's doing pretty well."

"Hm…" Zoro sat up a little and looked down at Sanji. His hair was disheveled and his clothes were wrinkled and mussed from yesterday's activities. Sanji stretched and yawned, revealing rows of bright white teeth and the tip of a pink tongue as his body writhed in pleasure from the stretch.

Zoro swallowed, with difficulty.

"You're staring again," Sanji said nonchalantly. _Might as well play this off as natural until it becomes natural._

"Of course I am. Look at yourself!"

"What?"

Zoro turned to the side, his eyes averted. "You're too…"

"Too what?" Sanji asked, beginning to get impatient.

"Alluring!" Zoro barked before turning over all the way and curling up into a ball while facing the wall. Sanji gaped at Zoro for a moment before laughing.

"You're actually shy!"

"Shaddup."

Sanji grinned. "Things really turned around quickly, didn't they?"

"Yeah," Zoro mumbled. "Hey, cook. Did you plan this?"

"Hell, no. I was planning on just yelling at you a bit and just seeing how that turned out."

"…seriously?"

Sanji laughed. "Of course not. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I came in here. All I'm sure of is that the time I spent after getting out of the hospital was not fun…I was just tormenting myself, thinking about what-if and why and _how."_

"What do you mean?" Zoro asked. _As if I haven't been thinking the same thing._

Sanji shifted his weight until he was on his back, facing the ceiling. "I've been…well I've doted upon the ladies just as much as I always have, and I love it when they smile and bat their eyelashes at me, but I'm never satisfied by it. Not anymore."

"I can't believe anyone ever would be," Zoro replied.

"But I couldn't figure out why. I thought that maybe there had been a woman who had caught my eye and I could never be satisfied by anyone else, even if I didn't know who she was. I thought I just had to find her again. But then, you said you wanted to _kiss me,_ and when I felt inordinately happy then I knew something was off. I couldn't think straight. I just had to run." Sanji sighed.

"It wasn't easy for me either," Zoro said grumpily. "I frickin' open myself up and you stomped on my innards."

"What a lovely way of expressing yourself."

"Anyways, I—why did you kiss me?"

Sanji rolled over and jabbed into Zoro's ribs until the other man turned around. "For a long time, I've wanted to give you something beautiful. Something that you would be floored by, and that only _I _could give you. I wanted to say 'This is what I gave to Zoro Roronoa, and this is how he responded.' I think it turned out pretty well." Sanji smirked at Zoro's indignant face. "I was also kind of curious, too. It seemed like the best way to test our sexuality was to kiss."

"So you didn't actually want to kiss me for the sake of it?"

"I never said that, did I?"

"You're so confusing," Zoro said wearily. "You really caught me by surprise."

"That was my intention."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Do you think we should go out and tell the others that we haven't killed each other?"

Sanji scowled. "You finally have me where you want me and you want to leave?"

Zoro looked thoughtful. "Good point." He reached out and pulled Sanji closer to him in an embrace. "I'm really happy…Sanji."

"Me too…Zoro."

---

Kyoto was hot that day. The streets were crowded with women carrying parasols and men holding fans in vain attempts to escape the heat. The Navarone group walked through the hordes of Japanese and tourists while taking in the sights. Zoro walked next to Sanji serenely, his swords strapped to his back in a leather case. His usual black and white ensemble with military boots had been replaced by flip flops, dark brown shorts, and a crisp button-down shirt (worn open, of course) over a black undershirt. He looked extraordinarily casual. Sanji had to stop himself from staring too much; it was one thing to admire Zoro in the heat of battle or in the men's baths once in a while, but it was quite another to be caught staring at those firm calves or that curving collarbone…

"Hey, look! Geisha!" Sanji darted forward excitedly, bowing on one knee and holding a geisha's hand tenderly, determined not to let Zoro see him staring. "Beautiful maiden, I do beseech you to tell me your name?" Zoro rolled his eyes.

Tashigi walked up and whispered something into the woman's ear, who paled under her makeup and darted off with her friend.

"What did you say?" Zoro asked curiously. Tashigi merely grinned and winked.

"I said, _his boyfriend is watching,"_ Tashigi said with a small smile, the Japanese flowing off of her tongue as naturally as the English. "You can thank me later. This building coming up was built in the 18th century for the Emperor after…" Her voice trailed off as she led the others on her impromptu tour, leaving Zoro and Sanji in the rear.

"_Kare?"_ Zoro repeated in disbelief as he looked at Sanji. Sanji raised an eyebrow.

"You gonna tell me what you guys are talking about or are you going to let the white man live on without a clue?" Sanji asked, dusting off his pants. He had opted for grey pants with a simple blue shirt; he rather liked the way it stressed the planes of his legs.

"She said that you're a eunuch," Zoro replied, turning to follow the others. He silenced Sanji's outraged protests by pointing at the building that they found themselves in front of. "You see this? This is Nijo Castle. Let's go in!"

"Wait—" Sanji found himself being pulled by the hand into the castle. Zoro looked over his shoulder with a broad smile.

"It'll be fun!"

Sanji stumbled along helplessly in the rush of excitement. There was something about that boyish exclamation that made his protests disappear with a _whoosh._

After spending most of the morning sightseeing, Zoro groaned as they approached a large white building that looked strikingly familiar in this foreign place. A sign in front bore the words "Baroque Works" in English under what was presumably the Japanese translation on top.

"I'll see you guys later," Zoro said dully, obviously not looking forward to what was ahead.

"Ah, so _that's_ why you had your swords with you," Sanji said. "I'm coming."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." Sanji stood there obstinately, his hands on his hips. "You guys go on ahead." The others shrugged.

"If you're going to fight, I'm not sticking around to be picked up by the police," Ace said offhandedly. "Tashigi, know of any good restaurants in the area?"

"Oh yeah, there's this great tofu place this way." Tashigi smiled at Zoro before leaving. "I'll take care of our flock from here, marimo-chan. Have fun!"

"Women are evil," Zoro said as he watched the others leave. "They're…they're just evil."

"Good thing I'm here, huh?" Sanji said with a smirk as they approached the entrance. "So you won't have to deal with any of those 'evil' ladies, as you call them."

"Why? It's just the same."

The Baroque Works receptionist was shocked by the two bodies that flew through the front door and through the lobby, only stopping when their momentum was halted by the front desk itself.

After a few more minutes of scuffling, Zoro managed to pin Sanji's face against the floor and panted, _"Excuse me, where is the kendo instructor's dojo?"_

The woman merely pointed silently up the stairs, struck dumb from the absurdity of the two men who proceeded to half-wrestle up the stairs.

Zoro was halfway to getting Sanji in a good arm lock when a sword scabbard pushed down on the back of his head; from the corner of his eye, he could see a wooden sandal pressing down on the side of Sanji's head. "Oi!"

"_Two no-good Yankees, causing trouble?"_ The man spoke in Japanese, and although he sounded old, Zoro was surprised to find that he could not lift his head no matter how hard he tried. _"What the hell do you two ragamuffins want?"_

"_I'm looking for the kendo instructor,"_ Zoro replied, loosening his grip on Sanji's arm.

"_Well, you found him."_ The man released the two of them, watching in amusement as they helped each other up. _"Who are you?"_

"_I'm Roronoa Zoro. This is Sanji,"_ Zoro said.

"_Americans?"_

"_Hai."_

"Well then, I will just speak in English," the man said in lightly accented English. "My name is Ryuuma. You two call me Ryuuma-sama."

"Samurai Ryuuma?" Zoro said in shock. "I—I heard you had died years ago!"

Ryuuma chuckled. "No, I've been hiding from the public eye in here for a while. You should know better than to underestimate me…Roronoa."

"You're hiding from the public in Baroque Works? Um, isn't this place kind of famous?" Sanji asked. He didn't know who this man was, but if his presence disconcerted even Zoro then he must be someone significant in some way.

Ryuuma looked at Sanji and then back at Zoro. "Who are you, anyways?"

"I'm Sanji. Umm, Baratie Sanji," Sanji said, inverting his first and last name like Zoro had.

"Baratie, huh?" Ryuuma said in interest. He didn't pursue the subject that had obviously caught his attention. "And Roronoa…now I remember. Mihawk phoned me a few weeks ago about your trip. Good thing you came today, I've actually got my advanced class today so you won't have to show off to a bunch of wet-nosed snots. I hear you practice Santoryuu?"

"You say that like you didn't already know."

"Come with me," Ryuuma said, walking down the hall. Now that Sanji could get a good look at him, he saw that Ryuuma wore some sort of oddly pattern yukata with a wooden sword at his side. _A wooden sword?_ He appeared to be far older than them, even older than Garp. His white hair was pulled back into an old-fashioned topknot.

"How's Shuusui?" Ryuuma asked quietly. Zoro bowed his head.

"It's in fine condition," Zoro replied. Sanji had never heard Zoro sound so humbled. "Just as it was the day you gave it to me."

"Roronoa, you fool! I did not merely _give_ it to you," Ryuuma chided. "You took it from me, fair and square."

"But—"

"Get back in line!" Ryuuma roared, throwing the door to the dojo open and storming inside, clearly ignoring any more protests from Zoro's side. A small group of students, mostly adults, scrambled to obey. "I leave to see what all the ruckus is about and you're already goofing off? Seiza! Now!"

"It's unusual to hear you being such a hardass," Zoro said, slipping his shoes off and walking in. Sanji followed in interest. The dojo was radically different from Zoro's; while Zoro's was simply an empty room that happened to serve as an instructional facility, this room was _made_ to house swordsmen. If Sanji hadn't walked into the building and gone up the stairs, he would have expected to walk outside to find the Japanese countryside rather than bustling Kyoto. This dojo looked like it belonged in such a place; there was even a signboard above the door. There were barrels of bamboo shinaii and wall hangings on the wall with crisp poetic script on them. The atmosphere in general was simply not comparable.

Ryuuma shrugged. "I have high standards for my students now."

"None of them are as good as me, huh?"

Ryuuma merely laughed. "Students, this is Roronoa Zoro—one of my former students."

"_Roronoa Zoro?"_

"_THE Roronoa Zoro?"_

Sanji couldn't tell what the students were murmuring in Japanese, but he had a good idea of what it was based on the number of times he heard them saw Zoro's name in awe.

"Your reputation precedes you. In all of the ruckus that's been going on, I'd almost forgotten that you were a Beta," Sanji muttered to Zoro. Zoro grinned.

"It has its perks. On one hand, none of the weak guys will dare to challenge me. On the other…"

When Ryuuma nodded at the first student in line, who proceeded to attack Zoro, Zoro sighed.

"…the strong ones always target you even when you're on vacation."

Sanji watched as in the blink of an eye, Zoro sidestepped the student (tripping him in the process) and his three swords appeared to fly of their own volition out of the case and into Zoro's hands. The sheathes fell to the floor in a neat pile on top of the leather case.

"You ought to be a magician with that kind of dexterity," Sanji remarked. He hadn't seen Zoro draw his swords since the Silver Fox.

"Stand back or you'll get hurt," Zoro replied with an insolent grin. "Next! C'mon, all at once!" He turned his swords to the flat sides. "Anyone who can land a hit on me gets to come back to America as my personal protégée. Interested?"

"Don't try to steal my students," Ryuuma barked good-naturedly. "Especially not the good ones."

"Good?" Zoro continued conversationally as he disarmed the students with ease. "Even those clumsy policemen I'm teaching are more adept—there we go!" Zoro had a manic gleam in his eye as he looked at the man whose practice sword was quivering against Sandai Kitetsu. He looked to be around the same age as Zoro and Sanji were. "What's your name, kid?"

"Don't call me kid when you're not much older than I am," the man responded, glaring at Zoro.

"What's up with that hair?" Zoro demanded, disarming him with a flick of his wrist. "Are you some j-pop singer or a mikan?"

"Shut up!" the man roared, his face turning red under his bright orange hair. "You have no reason to talk, you—you—"

"Marimo?" Sanji suggested with a cough. Zoro glared at him.

There was a brief lull of silence that quickly gave way to waves of laughter.

"You're going to pay for that later, cook," Zoro growled. _"Tatsu maki!"_ A gust of wind from the force of the attack made them all stagger, winded from laughter and the attack.

Ryuuma wiped his eye on the corner of his sleeve. "So, marimo-chan, doesn't mikan-chan remind you of, well, you?"

"Don't call me that!" Zoro and the other man barked at the same time. "Oi!"

"Zoro, I want you to meet one of my best students. Introduce yourself," Ryuuma said.

The man glared at Zoro before saying, "The name's Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Hey, do you like fruit?" Zoro asked suddenly. Ichigo looked at him suspiciously before nodding. "Ichigo and mikan, huh?" Zoro winked roguishly.

"Is there some sort of pun I'm missing?" Sanji asked Ryuuma as Zoro and Ichigo launched into another set of attacks.

Ryuuma chuckled. "Ichigo is the word for strawberry, and mikan is the word for tangerine. I sure miss Zoro's blatant rudeness." They both turned to watch as Zoro managed to overpower Ichigo and stood with his sword at Ichigo's throat.

"You're pretty good, _kid,"_ Zoro smirked. "Want to come back to America with me?"

"Hell, no. Even Ryuuma is better than you are," Ichigo snarled.

"Oi, it's Ryuuma-_sama._ Or at least Ryuuma-_san."_

"Your loss," Zoro said dismissively. "Ryuuma-san, want to show them a demonstration?"

"Oh, you're even calling me Ryuuma-san. Hell must have frozen over," Ryuuma said in mock wonder. "You want to beat up an old man like me?"

"If age has made you helpless then you're not the man I thought you once were," Zoro said, reaching into his back pocket and somehow tying his black bandana over his head with his swords in his hands.

"You've already beaten me once, Zoro."

"It's been a while. Let's just do it for old time's sake."

Ryuuma thought a moment before pointing one of Zoro's swords. "Then give me Shuusui."

"You have no other sword?"

"Do you really think I could have replaced Shuusui? They don't make swords like that anymore."

Zoro picked up the sheath and handed Shuusui to Ryuuma, slipping the other two swords in their scabbards through his belt. Sanji realized that without the odd bit of cloth that he had worn at the competition, it was impossible for Zoro to wear his three swords at his hip.

"Ready, fight!" Ichigo shouted before stepping back just in time to escape the flash of blades that snipped in front of his nose.

Sanji stared in awe. He couldn't tell whether Zoro's technique was stronger or hampered because he only had two swords, but he could tell that Ryuuma was holding his ground easily. The two men were just playing with each other, and Sanji had to pound a fist onto his own leg to keep it from quivering nervously. He didn't like all that sharp steel flying so close to his—

—his what?

What was Zoro? He wasn't quite sure; after they had left their quiet little sanctuary to join the rest of the world, they hadn't spoken much of what had transpired there. The others simply drew their own conclusions from what they had eavesdropped upon and what they gleaned from watching Zoro and Sanji's interactions.

Were they friends, or—god help them—boyfriends?

Sanji blinked as Shuusui flew through the air and buried itself into the wall not an inch from his head. He looked up, blinking owlishly.

"Sorry about that, cook. My aim was a bit off…I meant to hit that kid," Zoro said as he walked over, pulling the sword out and pointing at Ichigo.

"What the hell did I do to you?" Ichigo demanded.

"You can be good, kid. I won't go easy on you." Zoro inspected Shuusui's blade before returning all of his swords to his case and slinging it across his back again.

Ichigo groaned before settling back into the ranks of his peers. Ryuuma was still standing on the mats, a small smile on his face as he gripped his arm. There was no blood, but the massive vibrations from metal-on-metal must have hurt him considerably.

"You've been training well," Ryuuma said. "But you are still distracted. Clear your soul of all impurities before challenging him, Zoro."

Zoro nodded. "Yes, Ryuuma-san. Is there anything else you would like me to do?"

Ryuuma shook his head. "Send Mihawk my regards. Actually…I'm sure he sent you here to punish as well as teach you a lesson. Here." Ryuuma hobbled to a room to the side—his office, presumably—and came back with a box under his good arm. "This is for you."

Zoro began to open the box but stopped when Ryuuma slapped his hand. "Don't open it here, you fool. Open it when you're on the plane."

"If this gets me stuck at the airport for carrying illegal contraband, I swear, I'm going to come back and kill you," Zoro glared. Ryuuma merely laughed.

"You've never scared me, boy, not even with that look of yours. Get on going, Kyoto's a big city. Go meet up with whoever else you came with." He turned and promptly ignored them.

"Clearly this guy isn't one for goodbyes," Sanji said as he and Zoro turned and put their shoes back on.

"He doesn't like getting attached," Zoro replied. "Do you know where the others are eating dinner? That didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would."

"There can't be that many good tofu places," Sanji said as he walked in the direction that he had last seen their group going. "I'm guessing that we should just look for the destruction that Luffy must have left behind." They eventually made their way to a restaurant with a large crowd of people standing outside, chattering curiously at whatever spectacle was in there.

"Oh, god." Zoro knew that this scene simply screamed _Luffy!_

"Looks like we've found them. Prepare yourself," Sanji said grimly as they made their way through the densely packed crowd. "Sumimasen, sumimasen."

"Oh, you've been picking up some Japanese, have you?" Zoro noted with interest. "Even if you have an American accent that's heavier than Franky's arms, that's good."

"Hey, Zoro! Sanji!" Luffy greeted them enthusiastically from his seat. The whole group was seated at a table near the front of the entrance, unintentionally giving the rest of the world a lovely view of the culinary travesty that was Luffy. Every dish in front of him had been hastily emptied and cleaned out, with only tiny bits of rice clinging to a bowl here and there. Nami sat next to him with a fan in one hand that was splattered on one side with more ambiguous bits of food, looking faintly disgusted.

"We're never taking Luffy to a tofu place ever again. They only serve tofu dishes," Nami said as Zoro and Sanji squeezed in next to Vivi. "So none of it fills him up, apparently. He's just been…eating and asking for—"

"More!" Luffy called out to the waitress. "This stuff is really good!" He slurped something from a tiny bowl. Despite its small size, Zoro had no doubt that whatever was in that bowl must have cost enough to pay for an entire meal. He grabbed a menu and looked at it, not really interested in what he was going to eat.

"What do you want, cook?" Zoro asked, shoving the menu under Sanji's nose. "You're the one with the sensitive pallet, aren't you?"

Sanji looked at the menu in interest. "I haven't worked too much with tofu before—Zeff always preferred to use meat. He said tofu was too expensive around where we lived, and I took classes that focused on European cuisine so…just bring me whatever you guys got."

Chopper nibbled on a bit of green onion, looking at his bowl sadly. "Zoooro, I can't pick up the tofu."

"What?" Zoro leaned over and looked into his bowl. The tofu in there was an uncooked variety, and very soft; it sat in a hot broth of some sort with vegetables swimming alongside it. "Don't you have a spoon?"

"Luffy used it for the spoon dance. I don't want to use it after it's been up his nose," Chopper said morosely.

"Ai…" Zoro sighed and handed Chopper his spoon. "There. All better."

Chopper beamed—reminding Zoro that despite his size, Chopper was still a damned cute guy sometimes—and dug into his meal happily. "Mmm!"

"You know, I bet it'd only take one Heart Attack to fill up Luffy," Franky mused as he swallowed a piece of fried tofu. "You ever heard of those?"

"You mean like cardiac arrest?!" Chopper cried, nearly choking on his meal.

"Nah, dude, calm down. It's this burger…it's actually called the Quadruple Bypass Burger. Four meat patties with cheese, onions, and tomatoes, all packed between hamburger buns."

Sanji shuddered. "If you knew how much crap went into the average fast food chain ground beef, then you'd stay away from them period. I worked a stint at McDonalds for a few months. It was awful."

"But you always came home with food," Nami said. "That was always good."

"Yeah, but you can only eat so many burgers and fries before you start to get sick of them," Sanji said. "And my clothes smelled like grease _all_ the time."

"You guys, maybe talking this topic in front of Luffy isn't the best idea," Usopp warned too late. Unfortunately at that moment, one of the other customers had opened the door and a waft of something delicious blew through the door. Luffy's head shot out of the bowl he was cleaning up, and he had a slightly manic glint in one eye.

"Meat?"

Zoro grabbed the check and handed the waitress his credit card as the rest of their group ran to catch up with Luffy, who had sprinted out the door in search of the meat. "I _swear_ we're not die-and-dashers," Zoro shouted as the other patrons stared. "Damnit, Luffy!"

Zoro dashed outside and found himself left behind. There were throngs of people that, despite Kyoto's famous reputation, seemed to be a little too dense for a normal day. "Nanda…?"

A line of people engaging in traditional Japanese dance waltzed by, followed by the approaching sound of high-pitched wailing music on a speaker system.

"Oh shit, don't tell me I've been left behind in an _obon festival,"_ Zoro groaned. "Oi! Luffy! Where are you?" He walked quickly, trying to find his group. However, after an hour of searching, he hadn't found them—in fact, he had somehow made his way to a tiny shrine down an obscure alley he hadn't remembered walking into. "Where am I?"

---

Sanji looked at his watch anxiously. "Where the hell is that idiot?" he muttered under his teeth, digging into his pocket for a cigarette only to find that he was out. "Damnit, Luffy, you couldn't have waited five seconds?"

"What'sh wrong, Shanji?" Luffy asked with his mouth full of pork. The streets were lined with street vendors that had appeared out of nowhere, and the smells emanating from them were absolutely tantalizing.

"We lost Zoro!" Sanji barked. "Or rather, he lost us."

"He'll be fine," Ace said as he looked up from where he and Chopper were sharing a cotton candy cone. "He can take care of—oh hey, is that dango?" Ace left Chopper with the cotton candy and drifted off towards another booth.

"Don't worry. It's obon!" Tashigi patted Sanji's arm. "He'll be okay. Tonight's a big festival, and there'll be a lot of people around until tomorrow morning…just try to enjoy yourself. I'm sure he's doing the same."

Sanji sighed. "Yes, my dear," he said as she led him to sample some of the local treats being sold. "What's in here, you say? Red bean?"

---

Zoro sat on the hard floor the temple, glaring at the entrance. The man blocking his way gave him just as good as he got.

"Let me go, old man."

The priest sucked in an annoyed breath. "You have something burdening your soul. It may be a demon."

"Bullshit."

The priest ignored him, the many charm sewn into his clothing reflecting light from their golden threads, as he approached Zoro with a lit stick of incense. A string of unintelligible sutras fell from his lips, his eyes rolling to the ceiling in some eerie ritual. Zoro knew that this man was crazy.

"Oi! Stop that!" Zoro growled, swatting away the incense that was waved dangerously close to his nose and standing. "I'm leaving."

"You cannot," the priest moaned. "Such a demon burdens your soul, it befuddles your reason and makes you prone to misdirection, you cannot fight it, it makes you violent and riddled with anxiety…" He mumbled on incoherently. Zoro flushed at the implication—how the hell did the priest know about his sense of direction?—but nudged him out of the way and poked his head out to where the festivities were still carrying on.

"If I was Luffy, where would I go…"

The smell of meat drifted through the air.

"Bingo. Later, priest-san."

"Wait! The ritual cleansing must be completed with a bath in vinegar and lemon juice!"

Zoro ran as fast as he could towards the source of the smell.

---

Sanji put down the dango Ace had thrust into his hands with a guilty look. "Guys, I'm going to look for Zoro," he said, wiping his hands on a napkin and looking around. "Where should I start?"

The other guys looked at him with gleeful expressions. "Oooh," Ace cackled. "How cute! You're worried about him, aren't you!"

"Shut up," Sanji snapped as he began to back away. "I'm not worried."

"He's blushing." Usopp's eyes narrowed craftily. "And I'm pretty sure his pretty little lips are trembling at the thought of his Zoro-chan being in grave danger! Why, some little girl might hard his Zoro-chan!"

"Hey!"

Franky continued the onslaught, throwing an arm around Robin's shoulder and inspecting his fingernails. "Man, what a beautiful relationship those two have, eh, Robin?"

Sanji fled.

---

Zoro sneezed.

"Where are they…" Zoro muttered as he swung sharply around a corner into the main street. The sounds of merriment and smells of food ambushed his senses immediately, and he stopped as he took in his surroundings.

A figure dashed towards him, with long legs clad in grey and a head topped with gold. "Asshole!"

Zoro immediately put up an arm to redirect the kick aimed at his head. "Oi! Bastard, who—oh. It's you," Zoro said, quickly covering up his relief at finding Sanji. "What's up?"

"What do you _mean,_ 'what's up?'" Sanji cried, swinging his leg down to give momentum to his other leg for another attack. "You had me—us worried about you!"

Zoro grinned as he ducked under Sanji's leg. "Worried about me, huh? Who are you, my mother?"

Sanji was about to perform an axe-kick when he stopped suddenly and put his hands on Zoro's shoulders. "Hey," Sanji said, his voice softer, "What have you been up to?" His hands gently brushed against Zoro's shoulders. "You're covered in ash."

Zoro looked down and saw that it looked like he had a bad case of very fine dandruff. "Oh. There was some crazy priest I met back there…" He didn't elaborate.

Sanji's hands swept his hand gently back and forth, lingering for a moment. "You should be careful."

"He posed as much of a threat as Chopper," Zoro snorted.

"Chopper can break both of our necks," Sanji reminded him. "He's just too innocent to realize it."

"…which is why he's still harmless," Zoro replied. "Where are the others?" A group of children ran by, clutching tiny bags with goldfish. A couple of elderly women were dancing in line, just as graceful as the slim girls moving in between. A line of taiko drummers were moving in rhythmic sync, the pounding drums penetrating even the thickest walls with their ancient messages.

Sanji placed his hands on Zoro's shoulders. There was something about their little bubble of intimacy (whether he imagined it or not) that made him feel content among the throngs of celebrating Japanese. He felt that they were thousands of miles away from home, from anyone who knew them (except the group that they came with, but they didn't count), and safe in this foreign paradise.

He was glad he could spend this time with Zoro.

Sanji's hands moved to hold Zoro's shyly. "They're over here," Sanji said gruffly, his tone of voice daring Zoro to tease him.

Zoro looked down at their clasped hands and then at Sanji's face, his face passive. Then, his face broke out into a smile. "Okay."

A tiny flower of happiness blossomed in Sanji's chest at this newfound level of acknowledged intimacy.

---

"_Please place your luggage in the designated compartments…"_ Cobra's voice crackled over the intercom.

"Wow, that hardly felt like a vacation at all," Sanji said as he stuffed his bag into the overhead compartment. The floor rumbled from the other planes at the airport where they were preparing to return home.

"Well I was sick half of the time," Zoro grunted, pushing a bag under the seat. "I couldn't even go to that aerocraft demonstration that Usopp and Franky were running. Watching Chopper riding that thing was hilarious though." They had watched a video of the terrified doctor riding the aerocraft, and Zoro had been glad to see that Chopper had quickly acclimated to the air and even did a few loops.

"_Please buckle your seatbelts…"_

"I'm going to miss Japan," Luffy said sadly as he buckled up next to Nami. "The food was so good! Sanji, can you make it?"

"Yeah," Sanji said. "Those cooks at the Inn finally gave me some recipes."

"Yay!"

Zoro grinned as he settled down. Some things would never change.

"Zoro," Robin tapped him gently on the arm.

"Hm?"

"Don't forget that your little friend has a problem with heights," Robin said sweetly as she took a seat next to Franky. Zoro looked over and saw that Sanji was a little pale as he felt the jet's engines starting up under him.

"I'll be okay," Sanji blurted out before Zoro could say a word. "Don't worry. I don't need to, um, hold your hand."

"Just don't start smooching," Ace drawled from the row ahead. "Ouch!" he yelped as both Zoro and Sanji kicked the back of his seat.

"_Prepare for takeoff."_

The Nefertari jet maneuvered towards the runway and slowly began to speed up.

"Need a hand yet?"

"Fuck you."

The wheels lifted off the ground.

"What about now?"

Sanji's garbled response was unintelligible.

They began to ascend at a sharper angle that could be felt in the cabin.

No one noticed Zoro's hand slide to gently squeeze Sanji's hand, or Sanji's look of relief as he squeezed back.

---

A/N: I don't know if you're ever listened to the music recorded by the voice-actors for the anime but there's this song called "You Are the One" where Zoro and Sanji (and Usopp too, but you can't really tell in the beginning) are harmonizing for this one part. And it made me feel absolutely giddy.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: The problem with writing my stories piecemeal like this is that I forget what I wrote about. I sincerely apologize for the wait, but…you know…uni and all that gets in the way. I've also started an original novel, and if it ever gets published then I'll let you all know! (it'll probably take, um, a few years lol). Anyways, this chapter might not feel quite right because I wrote half before the finals/exams rush and half near the end [as in, right now] so please let me know what the hell is wrong with it (as in plot holes and such). Warning—as a result of said 'not feel right'ishness, characters may be OOC. Now…here's chapter 17.

---

Sanji opened his eyes and looked around blearily. "Mmmm, how long've we been in the air?" he groaned, stretching. The cabin was dark and the shades were closed, giving the enclosed space a cozy feeling.

Zoro turned his head slightly, an open box in his lap. "We've got a couple of hours left until landing," he murmured, so as not the wake the others.

"What's that?" Sanji asked curiously. "Is that what Ryuuma gave you?"

"Yeah," Zoro said. "I took a look at the inn."

"I see you didn't listen to Ryuuma."

"Of course I didn't. Take a look at this," Zoro said this as though it should have been obvious, pulling out an envelope. "It's a letter from the Emperor himself."

Sanji glared at Zoro. "It's in Japanese, asshole."

"Oh yeah," Zoro smirked slightly. He cleared his throat slightly. _"Dear Zoro-kun…How are you? It has been a long time. I hope you are doing well in the States. I hear that your swordsmanship is becoming quite exceptional. I have been in contact with your old teacher for many years, as well as with your current employer, Juraquille Mihawk. I hear that you still bear Wado Ichimonji. That's very good…Kuina would most certainly be unhappy if it was any other way._

"_I would like you to be aware that because I am a very busy man, it would be impossible for us to meet at the moment. I'm sure you'll understand, Zoro-kun. Regards-Emperor Koshiro._ It's a rough translation, but that's the gist of it. He words it a lot more elegantly._"_

"That's it?" Sanji gaped. "You come all this way and he fucking says he's too busy to see you? I'm sorry, but that's just—"

Zoro pulled out another envelope from the first. "Here."

Sanji looked inside and pulled out a sheaf of photos. There was one of a young girl in an elaborate kimono and headdress, sullenly staring into the camera. _That must be Kuina,_ Sanji thought. _Poor girl._ Another photo showed Kuina as she was stepping off the plane, presumably for the first time; her hair was still raggedly cut, and her limbs were slim from malnutrition. The photos from there seemed to depict her story on a reverse reel: there was Kuina sitting in a car driving away from the streets of Navarone towards the airport, Kuina berating another street rat as she pointed at a small pile of food…Kuina and Zoro standing back-to-back, about to retaliate against another gang of children with swords in their hands. Zoro on the ground, with Kuina standing victorious and eating an apple. Kuina and Zoro squabbling over said apple. The last photo was of an older Zoro and a man dressed in regal robes. _The Emperor?_

"He always looks sad when I visit," Zoro sighed. "I think I remind him of his daughter too much. Anyways, Ryuuma probably knew that I wouldn't wait until the last day to open this thing. Now I can pay my respects to Kuina at a home shrine without having to wait years to go back to Japan."

"Still, that's a little harsh," Sanji muttered.

"I'll pester him when I become the Alpha," Zoro said. "Until then, I have no business going back to him when I haven't fulfilled my promise."

Sanji saw that Zoro was not perturbed at all. He wore the look of a man intent on his goal, and who would not let such sentimentalities interfere.

_When will Zoro be allowed to face Mihawk?_

Sanji leaned over and peered into the box. "Is there anything else in there?"

Zoro turned a slight shade of red under his dark pallor. "There's, um, nothing else."

"You're a terrible liar," Sanji said, his hands—the hands of a chef were fast—darting out to seize the box.

"Bastard! Give it back!"

A small jar fell from the box into Sanji's lap. "What is this?" He picked it up and scrutinized it carefully while pushing Zoro's face away with one hand. "It's full of water…what's this green stuff?" The label didn't help, as it was in Japanese. "It looks like…a mossball," Sanji said, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "This is a marimo, isn't it?"

Zoro managed to grab the jar and stuff it into his coat. "Shut up. Ryuuma thought he'd be funny by sending me that."

---

"I hate you, Mihawk."

"That's Mihawk-_san_ to you, Roronoa." Mihawk sipped on a cup of tea with a pinky sticking up in the most ostentatiously pretentious manner. Zoro knew that Mihawk must have been doing it to piss him off.

"_Why_ are you making your best teacher do this?" Zoro demanded. "This is unreasonable!"

"You've only had one day of class with Bon," Mihawk chided him, nibbling on a chocolate pirouette. "Surely it cannot be as terrible as you make it to be."

"_**Look at what I'm wearing,"**_Zoro snarled. "Look at it. Just…shit, Mihawk, shit!"

Mihawk took in the pale yellow leotard and spring green leggings without so much as a blink of the eye. His eyes travelled down Zoro's thighs to a pair of white ballet slippers with ribbons that ran up his toned calves.

His moustache twitched a little when he rested on the lacy sunshine yellow tutu that hugged Zoro's hips.

"It's very becoming on you, Roronoa."

_Must…not…kill the man who pays me...yet…_ Zoro thought as he turned on one heel and stormed out of Mihawk's office, ignoring the catcalls coming from Daz Bones' studio.

---

"I hear you look hot in a ballerina outfit, dude," Ace said nonchalantly as he fanned himself with an enormous bamboo fan he had bought in Japan. The two men were sitting in Ace's apartment (the one Ace used when Luffy was being annoying) drinking beers to cool themselves down in the summer heat.

Zoro scowled. "Shut up. You know why I'm doing it. Mihawk's being an asshole."

"I heard that Bon gave you a different outfit for every day of the week."

"Don't _remind_ me, damnit," Zoro growled. "At least Sanji wasn't there last night. He had to work late at Rain Dinners. I don't even know what the hell I'm going to do if he sees me like this…"

"You mean 'when' he sees you like that."

"You're a shitty friend, Ace."

"I'm a great friend!" Ace protested. "I'm drinking with you during your time of sorrow, aren't I?"

Zoro grunted. "Eh, okay, sure. Whatever. Dude, you really can see my room from here, can't you?" Zoro asked as he went to the window. "Shit, that's scary."

"Yeah. The new apartment's looking good, but just remember to close the blinds if you and Sanji starting fu—"

"We're not going to start getting it on in my living room!" Zoro protested. "I don't even know how to…you know…do that."

"Zoro, you just stick it into the first hole you see," Ace said nonchalantly. "It can't possibly be that hard."

"You make it sound really…ugh," Zoro groaned. "Disgusting."

"I guess you guys can barely hold hands, and I haven't seen you kiss since we left Japan, so sexy time is out of the question," said Ace.

"Oi! We're taking it slow!" Zoro snapped. "Not everyone gets their pants off in the first week or two of their…"

"Their what?"

"…relationship…"

"Kyaa! How cute!" Ace said in a mockingly high falsetto.

"Shut up, Ace."

"Make me," Ace said with a wink. "That is, if you _can."_

---

Luffy sat on Zoro's sofa with a can of pulpy orange juice in one hand and a loaf of bread in the other. "Hey, Zoro. Have you seen Ace?"

Zoro looked up innocently from where he was chopping carrots for a recipe he was reading out of a cheap cookbook he had picked up at the bookstore. "Ace…? No, I can't say I've seen him lately."

Luffy stuffed the last of his bread into his mouth glumly. "He was supposed to take me to Rain Dinners tonight. Want to come?"

Zoro shuddered. "No, um…I've got classes today. You know. Teaching and stuff." _With Bon. Ugh._ "Maybe you should check your apartment. He might be hiding under the bed."

"Ooh! Like hide-and-seek?"

"…yes, Luffy. Like that." Zoro watched as Luffy ran out of the apartment in excitement. _I wonder what Luffy will say when he finds Ace tied up under the bed with his own shirt and pants._ He smelled burning vegetables and swore at the smoking pan on the stove. "Shit!"

---

"What's eating at you, Ace?" Sanji asked from his little stall at Rain Dinners where he was frying up long pieces of squid.

"Zoro," Ace grumbled. "That guy is way too strong."

"What did he do?" Sanji asked with a wicked grin. "Did you actually try wrestling him?"

"Well, sort of. He stripped me and tied me up bondage-style with—" Ace stopped as he saw Sanji's sweeping hand motions come to a grinding halt.

"He did what?" Sanji asked pleasantly. Ace wasn't fooled.

"Um, nothing," Ace said as he tried to grab a piece of squid. Sanji smacked his hand with the spatula.

"Tell me, Ace."

"…don't worry about it, dude…"

"Fine," Sanji snapped. He whipped out his cell phone and stuck it between his ear and shoulder as he resumed cooking. The phone rang for a few moments before switching to voicemail.

"_Oi, this is Zoro. Leave a message."_

"Shitty marimo, answer your phone!" Sanji snarled into the phone as he grabbed it from its perch and stuck it into his pocket. "Oi! Ace, don't run away. You're taking me to where he is as soon as my shift is over."

"Okay, okay," Ace said. "Now can I get some squid?"

---

"_Un, deux, trois!" _

Zoro groaned as he awkwardly sank into a plie. He was surrounded by men in drag—either that, or really ugly chicks—who were enthusiastically following Bon's every move.

"Zoro! You must sink lower!" Bon trilled as he pranced over and squatted behind Zoro, putting his hands high on Zoro's thighs. "Lower, lower!" Zoro shuddered as he felt Bon squeezing his muscles in the most uncomfortable manner possible.

"I don't think I can sink any lower. I will kill you once I'm done with this," Zoro snarled through gritted teeth.

"Yes, but for now, you are mine," Bon said with a devious smile. "And goodness! Your slippers are not tied properly! You know what that means!"

"Oh, shit," was all that Zoro could say as every student turned to look at him with evil looks in their eyes.

Sanji walked quickly down the halls of Baroque Works. "Hey, asshole!" Sanji growled as he rattled the doorknob to Zoro's dojo. It was locked. "What? You guys, you said he was teaching tonight."

"That's what he told me," Luffy said.

"Maybe he's with Bon," Ace suggested. He knew that he was already in a shitload of trouble, so it wouldn't really matter what he said anymore. Zoro would kill him either way.

"Why the hell would he be with Bon?" Sanji demanded. "He hates—oh whatever, I might as well check." He ran down the hall and kicked open the door to Bon's studio shouting, "Marimo!"

Sanji stopped in the doorway at the spectacle before his eyes.

Zoro was being pinned to the floor by the majority of Bon's burly students as a couple of others hovered over him. One was fixing his leotard and slippers while the others were dabbing bits of powder, blush, and mascara on Zoro's face. The stream of profanities coming out of his lipsticked mouth surprised even Sanji.

"Z-Zoro?"

Zoro stared at the doorway with wide eyes, pleading with some higher power to tell him that it was all just a bad dream.

"Zoro, why don't you tell me what the hell is going on," Sanji said calmly.

Zoro swallowed slightly. "There was a slight condition to the vacation leave I took…Mihawk. It was Mihawk, I swear."

Sanji smiled sweetly, and Zoro felt a drop of sweat go down his back. Sanji was not a sweet man.

_Whack. Smack. Crack._

Zoro didn't move from his position as the men holding him down collapsed from Sanji's well-executed attacks.

"Marimo, get up."

"Er…" Zoro wasn't afraid of Mihawk. He was actually raring to kick the guy's ass as soon as Mihawk was willing to use something bigger than the dinky penknife that hung around his neck. However, Zoro also didn't mess with Mihawk, and he knew that if he left now then he'd have to pay the price later.

Looking at Sanji's fuming face, Zoro had to remind himself several times that he wasn't afraid of Sanji, either.

---

"Tell me why I'm practicing with you guys," Sanji snarled under his breath as he bent his knees in a graceful plie. A foot-shaped bruise was growing on his left cheek.

"Don't you usually practice with Bon?" Zoro asked, his knees creaking from the unfamiliar movements. A similar bruise to the one on Sanji's face could be seen on Zoro's right cheek.

Bon, after all, did not tolerate horseplay in his studio.

"I do savate, _not_ ballet!" Sanji hissed angrily. "Why are YOU doing ballet?"

"It's a long story…"

"According to a complete arbitrary rule of relativity, the more miserable you are, the more slowly time passes. We have plenty of time."

As Zoro told Sanji the details of Mihawk's demands, Sanji snorted with laughter.

"What, asshole?" Zoro muttered darkly as they lined up for swan jumps.

"Your life sucks," Sanji said with a slight grin, bending his knees as he was about to leap.

Zoro glowered for a moment, but then grinned evilly.

"But you make my life so much better, Sanji, my dear," Zoro said cheerfully, patting Sanji on the behind in a series of motions and words that he had picked up from Bon. It took a great deal of self control to keep from vomiting, but he managed to pull it off.

Sanji tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his face.

---

"Aaaah…" Zoro sighed in relief as he put an ice pack between his thighs. "Those damned stretches are just ridiculous. I'm pretty sure part of the function of a man's junk is to prevent him from doing the splits."

Sanji looked up in surprise from the kitchen where he was stir frying vegetables he had found in Zoro's fridge. He had thrown out Zoro's pathetic attempts at cooking after taking a single bite. "Really? I feel fine."

"You obviously don't have any gintama between those skinny-ass legs of yours then," Zoro said as he shifted slightly to let the ice get a more comfortable position. He caught the knife that Sanji threw between two fingers. "Don't throw knives. They'll make holes in the walls."

"Do you care?"

"No, but Ace has proven before that he's not above charging me for damages to the room. What are you cooking?"

"Shrimp stir-fry," Sanji replied as he put a dash of soy sauce into the pan and threw in a handful of raw shrimp. The shelled crustaceans were soon a nice pink color and gave off a savory scent. . Sanji took the pan off of the fryer and scooped two steaming bowls of rice before topping them with the stir-fry. "Come and eat, marimo-chan."

Zoro hobbled over uncomfortably. "Don't call me that."

Sanji began to eat, nodding at the latest addition to the apartment. "Is that Kuina's shrine?" The altar was made of a light, highly-polished wood that opened up to bare a picture and a small mound of ash in a bowl.

"Yeah," Zoro said around a mouthful of rice. "I picked up some incense and I light a stick every day."

Sanji stared at the morose photo on the altar for a moment. "You couldn't have used a more cheerful photo?"

"It's the most formal picture I've got."

"Yeah, but still…" Sanji sighed. "So, what are your plans for next week?"

"There's another tournament coming in a few months. I'm going to be training more," Zoro said. "It'll be hard with that stupid practice I'm supposed to be going through with Bon, but I'm going to be pretty busy with that. What about you?"

Sanji shrugged. "Just working at the café. I've been neglecting my work there lately, and I want to keep a loyal fan base. Thanksgiving's coming up, so I'm going to start making themed pastries!" He spun around excitedly. "Just imagine! Pumpkin pirouettes, spiced cinnamon and nutmeg éclairs, cranberry jelly puffs…" His face was flushed with anticipation. "And I need a guinea pig to taste them."

"Can't you eat them yourself? Or what about Luffy?" Zoro complained, stuffing the last of his rice into his mouth and taking the dish to the sink. He and Sanji had an unspoken agreement; Sanji would feed Zoro, and Zoro would clean up (usually).

Sanji shrugged. "Luffy will breathe in those pastries without a second thought. You, at least, take a bit of time to chew."

"…thanks?"

"Just come whenever you're free," Sanji said. "It's free food."

"You already give me free food."

"Yes, but if you don't come then you will be devoid of any more free food," Sanji replied calmly. "And my food's like crack. You can survive without it, but once you taste it, you won't be able to go back to eating the slop that you're used to."

"My cooking is not slop," Zoro grumbled. "Slop suggests a gloopy texture. My food is usually crispy."

"You mean burnt."

"Same difference," Zoro shrugged. "Anyways, I'll stop by on my way to and back from work. Have something waiting for me."

Sanji smiled. "Oh, how's your marimo doing, marimo-chan?"

Zoro scowled. "It's doing okay." He had left the jar in the kitchen, and Sanji secretly believed that Zoro had grown attached to the little balls of mossy plant substance.

Sanji stood and plunked his dishes on the counter next to where Zoro was washing the dirty ones. "And how are your legs?" Sanji asked. He hopped onto the counter and looked at the dishes. "You're not getting any of the oil off either, by the way. Wash it again."

"Don't speak down on my dishwashing," Zoro grumbled. "My legs are still sore as hell, I can hardly stand here."

Sanji hopped back off the counter and left the kitchen. "Where are your towels?"

"Top drawer in the cabinet," Zoro called. "Why?"

"You'll see," Sanji said. He soaked the towels in water and put them in the microwave before rummaging in the kitchen for a kettle, which he promptly placed on the stove to boil after filling it with water. Zoro watched interestedly as Sanji poured the water into a couple of bottles and said, "Come into the other room once you're done here."

"What are you doing?" Zoro asked. He found Sanji sitting next to his long couch with his supplies laid out on the table.

"Lie down," Sanji ordered. Zoro bristled at the authority in his voice, but complied anyways. "Where does it hurt the most?"

"In my calves and inner thighs," Zoro said, resting his chin on his arms.

Sanji picked up a water bottle and placed it gingerly between Zoro's legs. He then placed the hot towels on the rest of his legs. "The heat should help your muscles relax," Sanji explained. "How does that feel?"

"Hot."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "I mean, does it feel better? Worse? The same?"

"I'm still a little tense, but it's helping," Zoro sighed.

Sanji moved to Zoro's head and poked his shoulders experimentally. "You're tense up here, too," he noted. "Odd, since this is where you usually work out." He rubbed his hands together and placed them on Zoro's shoulders, massaging where Zoro was the tensest.

Zoro froze as he felt Sanji's hands running down his back. "Thanks, cook, but I think I just need to—oh dear god, that feels delightful," he groaned. "Never mind. Just keep going."

Sanji kneaded a knot expertly with his thumbs. "I took masseuse classes at a community college because I met this girl who liked to be waited on hand and foot. It turns out that she was kind of, ah, famous…too famous for a no-name like me, at least. I wonder what happened to her?"

Zoro gave a noncommittal grunt. "You must be getting out of practice. Keep doing it on me so you don't lose your touch."

"Is this a gruff, Zoro-ish way of asking me to do this for you more often?" Sanji teased, poking Zoro's cheek with his finger. "I'll do it for you anytime you need it. No need to be shy about it."

They sat in silence after that, save for the occasional grunt on Zoro's part when Sanji worked on a particularly stubborn stiff spot. Zoro didn't say another word until he felt Sanji moving a little too low down his back. "Cook, you are venturing into dangerous territory."

"Your legs hurt the most, don't they?" Sanji demanded irritably. "Don't interfere."

"Yeah, that's not the part I'm afraid of. It's the transition from shoulders to legs that worries me. There's this enormous barrier called my—"

"If you're going to make dick jokes, don't," Sanji warned. "I can just as easily make you scream in pain by pressing on just the right pressure point as I can make you feel better. I'm not going to touch your junk." He shrugged. "Unless you want me to."

Zoro shivered violently. There was something about the expressionless way that Sanji said that that suggested Sanji was more interested than he let on. "What will you do if I say that?"

Sanji flicked off the towels and straddled Zoro's midriff with a playful grin playing along his lips. "Want a sample?"

Zoro heaved Sanji off and fled.

Sanji laughed silently, his lungs unable to properly release the belly-deep laugh trying to escape his thin frame. _This is just way too easy._ He hadn't had any intention of going _there_ with Zoro just yet. Not only was he unsure of how these kinds of things usually went (he was still a virgin…with men). He also didn't want to rush this relationship.

Plus, he was pretty sure that Zoro would be too proud to be anything but on top, and no way in hell was he going to let that happen.

---

"You should have let him do it," Ace said the moment Zoro burst through the door to his apartment. He was sitting at the window with a six-pack of beer and a laptop on his lap.

"You were _watching us?"_ Zoro demanded. He felt a little creeped out. "That's nasty, man."

"I told you to get drapes."

"You…!" Zoro rubbed his hair in frustration. "Well, at least I don't have to explain my situation."

"You were about to get some, but chickened out. What more is there to say?"

"Shut up," Zoro growled. "I'm not ready for it yet."

"How sweet!" Ace's eyes became mere slits as he beamed broadly at Zoro. "Are you waiting until after marriage?"

"Ace, one day someone will get tired if your snarky behavior and kill you. Like me."

"I'm too loveable to be killed. Except by the Marines."

"The who?"

"I don't know. I'm not making a reference to a parallel universe or anything…"

Zoro groaned. "Ace, do you know anyone who could, you know, help me? With my situation?"

"The famous Zoro Roronoa, asking for help!" Ace cackled. "I should milk this for all it's worth. You want a prostitute to help you learn the ropes?"

"No! Just, I don't know any gay people. I need to know how to be gay."

Ace looked at Zoro seriously for the first time since their conversation began. "Zoro, you can't go about it like that. There isn't a way to 'be gay,' just as there isn't a proper way to 'be heterosexual.' It all depends on the person, the relationship, and the circumstances. Some people like things to be fast and loose, while others like slow and romantic. Just do whatever you think feels right for you and Sanji." He took a long draught from his can. "Doing otherwise would only be like you were acting out a scene from a play. It wouldn't be real, and you'd never be satisfied doing things like that."

Zoro groaned. "I was terrible with women in the first place, and Sanji might as well be one. Toss me a beer?"

Ace shook his can regretfully. "Last one, dude. Go take Sanji to a bar or something. Get friendly. Maybe alcohol will loosen your inhibitions."

Zoro grimaced. "No. I want it to be real. If it takes booze for me to get comfortable with him, then things aren't going to work out." He turned and left resolutely.

Ace smiled as he saw Zoro return to his apartment and send a casual middle finger at the window before turning to Sanji. "Atta boy," he said softly before returning to his laptop. "Go get him."

---

"Hey, Sanji. Dessert," Zoro said the moment he walked through the door. He was not going to let awkwardness get in the way of his Sanji-time, and the easiest way to get over awkwardness was with argument.

Maybe that wasn't so healthy, either.

"Don't you have ice cream or something in the freezer? I thought you didn't like sweet things, anyway," Sanji complained. "What do you want?"

Zoro thought wildly and spat out the first thing that came into his head. "Fruit kebabs."

"Fruit kebabs."

"Yep."

"You want fruit kebabs."

"That's right."

"I didn't even know you knew what a kebab is. You have trouble remembering the name of your ham and cheese croissant that you have at the café all the time."

"Am I getting my damned fruit kebabs or not?"

Sanji grinned. "It looks like my presence is making you more cultured already. It's too bad the farmer's market isn't open today, but we can go down to the Chinese market in Fire Sector and get some good fruit."

Zoro sighed. This involved walking, and driving, and troublesome things in general. "Must we? Can't we use apples or something?"

"Zoro, do you really want fruit kebabs?" asked Sanji shrewdly.

"…No."

"That's a good boy. You shouldn't lie to people," Sanji clucked.

Zoro had the sudden feeling that Sanji saw him as a lot less badass nowadays than he used to. It might have had to do with the whole Bon-class thing. He would have to remedy that. Maybe alcohol would work. Yes, maybe showing that he could drink Sanji under the table would help somehow.

"Dude, want a beer?" _Not good enough._ "No, a whiskey? I have some Jack Daniel's in the cabinet…"

Sanji knew he shouldn't have. He had already pushed Zoro around enough, and he wanted to save some fun for later. But he just had to.

"But Zoro! I wanted to talk about our feelings!"

"Oh, shit." Zoro backed up, his eyes wide.

Sanji laughed. "I'm just kidding. Come here, you big idiot."

"Hm?" Zoro obeyed, sitting next to Sanji on the couch. "What?"

"This is for running out on me!" Sanji cried, leaping at Zoro. They began to wrestle furiously on the floor, all regard for furniture lost.

"Why, you little shit…!"

---

Time went on, and the weeks passed by until it was the night of the Kamabakka Nightclub's quarterly show. Each season the homosexual-friendly bar would hold a special performance pertaining to the seasons. This time the title of the show was "So Long, Summer—Fresh Fall!" It was a prelude to the crisp weather and grey days that were beginning to creep into the blue summer skies and warmth.

Zoro had complied with Mihawk's orders, albeit grudgingly. Once Bon found out about his relations with Sanji (thanks to a casual word dropped by Mihawk, and Zoro had no idea how _Mihawk_ found out) he told the entire bar, who then saw this as a signal that Zoro was gay and up for grabs.

"I'm not _gay! I'm only into Sanji!"_ Zoro roared on the second night as he felt himself being pawed at as he tried to make his way through the crowd. He thought a good stiff drink might make him feel better, but was dismayed to find that the bar only served drinks with fruity flavors and elaborate garnishes. He had been even more put off by the fact that everyone twittered at him after he had yelled his Sanji-feelings bit.

He was in Hell.

"Un, deux, trois! Zoro, dear, are you ready for tomorrow night's performance?" Bon trilled. Sanji snickered; he had escaped being roped into the deal with Zoro by claiming that training with Bon's troupe would interfere with his Savate.

Zoro didn't answer; he was too busy touching his toes. He hated to admit it, but he had actually gotten a lot more flexible during his time with Bon.

"Can I watch?" Sanji asked with a grin. "I'll even buy you roses for your special performance, darling."

Before Zoro could snarl at him, Bon swooped in with a flutter of his eyelashes. "Ah, tres bien! You will accompany him, no? As his escort? I will arrange for front-row seats for you and all your friends! How lovely!" He waltzed off to admonish another man for slipping in his own puddle of sweat.

Zoro couldn't get a single word out that entire class. He was silenced by a mix of rage and horror.

---

"Oh, don't you look so pretty!"

"I'm telling you, Henrietta, this green eyeshadow _totally_ goes with his hair."

"It really complements his skin tone, too!"

Zoro sat in Kamabakka's dressing room, being primped by the other okamas. He had been chained to the chair and tethered with duct tape by half of the men not performing, and they all sported bruises or sore spots. He glared dangerously at the men applying his makeup.

"I wonder how we're going to get him into his outfit without smudging his makeup?" a man asked worriedly, nibbling on his manicured thumbnail.

"He'll do it on his own, ladies." Sanji stood in the doorway, leaning against the door jamb and pulling an unlit cigarette from his mouth and pointing it at Zoro. "I saw Mihawk on the top floor. It looks like he came to make sure you didn't run off." Sanji winked at the men in drag, who blushed. "So, where are the performers? All I see are a group of lovely women preparing Mister Roronoa."

"How charming! He's a good one," an okama whispered loudly to Zoro. "And what a firm behind on that one!"

Zoro groaned. He must have done something appalling in a former life to have to endure this suffering. He had never felt his testicles shrivel up so much from such emasculating treatment.

Once preparations had been finished, Sanji joined Luffy and company in the audience—the bar had been converted to a theater—to watch the spectacle.

The nightclub had honestly shocked Sanji when he had stepped through the doors. Since homosexuality was still a tense subject to the public eye, the Kamabakka Nightclub didn't advertise too ostentatiously. They appeared to make up for this with the bright neon lights in shades of mostly pink that lit up the inside of the enormous club with an eye-smarting glow. The club itself was large enough to take up a building the size of a warehouse, and Sanji caught the scent of fried onions and broiled chicken as he passed by one door on the way to the dressing rooms. The club advertised not just the night scene, but fine dining and activities like karaoke in separate rooms. It was a city inside of a city. The enormous dance floor on the bottom floor had been cleared of all obstacles and fitted with plush chairs and a wide stage.

Light classical music began to play as the lights dimmed and, one by one, the performers pranced out on stage. At the end of the line came Zoro, wearing a green and brown set of tights that matched the rest of the men in line. He shuffled his feet slightly behind the man in front of him, but picked them up reluctantly when a certain Alpha swordsman coughed loudly from the second floor—loudly enough to be picked up by everyone in the room. The men pranced; they leapt; they bent. Some bent in ways that made even Sanji raise an eyebrow. The lights followed the dancers like shadows, flickering with bright colors. Suddenly, the music became much more violent, and the dancers on stage parted to reveal a very red Zoro in the spotlight. His muscles were stiff with tension, and his forehead was so furrowed in an angry frown that his eyes could hardly be seen.

"Go, Zoro!" Luffy yelled exuberantly.

"Yeah!"

"Shake that ass!"

"Franky…"

"Sorry, Robin. Don't shake it, then! Maybe a little, bro!"

Sanji grinned as he saw a pulsating vein popping out of Zoro's neck, and wondered how far it could stick out before becoming detached from the main body.

Zoro breathed in deeply. He was the only one on stage, and the only viewer of his performance. He was standing in the middle of a grassy field in the mountains, with a river at his side and a temple at his back. He was Zen.

Ace's yelled "Zoro baby, we love you!" didn't even crack the surface of his calm. This was the place he retreated to when he needed to calm down in the middle of the fight. This was just another battle with an ugly opponent.

"Wow!" Chopper gasped as Zoro spun rapidly on the tips of his feet and jumped powerfully, spinning all the while. "I didn't know Zoro could move like that!"

"It's quite impressive," noted Robin with a smile and a nod.

Sanji gaped. Zoro was actually _graceful,_ for crying out loud. One arm moved one way while the other moved to balance the motion in a form that was almost like wushu, Chinese performance martial arts, in its purpose and controlled strength. Only an occasional bend and spin reminded the audience that this was indeed meant for a ballet performance. Zoro swept his body into a tight spin with his leg bent at an angle, gradually opening up until he pulled his body out of it and into a pose with one hand reaching towards the ceiling and the other reaching out to the audience. Sanji felt his throat tighten when Zoro looked directly into his eyes with a passion that was both passionately hot and coolly calculating. Little did he know that he himself had once evoked such feelings in Zoro when Zoro had first seen Sanji practicing Savate.

Sanji didn't notice the other men joining Zoro as they bowed to the cheering crowd. He didn't feel Nami pull him to the stage to congratulate Zoro, nor did he register that everyone was watching as he pulled Zoro close to him by the tight material of his outfit and kiss him. He could feel every inch of Zoro's skin through the taut cloth, and wished for a fleeting moment that even that barrier was gone. They broke apart for a moment and Sanji found himself caught by Zoro's eyes again. He could feel his heart beating erratically against his ribcage, and wondered if the pulse he felt while leaning against Zoro was the other man's or his own.

"That was impressive, Roronoa." Mihawk nudged his way through the slight gap between Luffy and Chopper. "Bravo."

"Oh, thank you, Mihawk-_san,"_ Zoro said sarcastically. He folded his hands in front of him and bowed slightly. "Now, if you guys will excuse me? I'll go get changed, and then we can go grab something to eat. Someplace that isn't filled with okamas."

"I was hoping that you and your friends would join me for dinner in the lounge upstairs," Mihawk said, his lips curling into something that wasn't quite a smile. No smile was that menacing. "You're going to have quite a following of admirers after that performance, Roronoa." His tone explicitly said that he would not take no for an answer.

"…sure," Zoro grimaced. "Why the hell not." He turned and retreated in the dressing room, his hands still folded in front of him. Sanji followed and quickly darted through the closing door. They were alone; the other okamas had changed quickly and left to join their friends on the dance floor to revel in the success of their show. One of them had left a sign on the locker with Zoro's belongings saying _Don't be a stranger, cutie!_ Zoro shuddered as he tore it down and tossed it in the trash. He half-turned and saw Sanji staring at him. "What?"

"That was really good, Zoro," Sanji said slowly. "Like, really good. I didn't know your body could bend like that."

"It couldn't, as of four weeks ago." Zoro struggled with one of the straps of his outfit as he pulled off the first layer of his outfit. He stood unusually close to the wall, facing slightly away from Sanji.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you standing like that?" Sanji asked curiously. "Stand naturally. You look like you're standing on the edge of a cliff."

"I'm okay," Zoro said, turning completely away from him. He had a little…problem that would be dealt with later in the safety of his home bathroom. "Turn around. You wouldn't believe what kind of underwear they made me made. Apparently boxers aren't form-fitting enough."

Sanji covered his eyes with one hand, peeking enough to see a bare backside and enough cloth to maybe cover a postage stamp. He winced slightly, trying not to imagine how it must have felt to wear that. He also was fascinated, however, by the fact that Zoro was wearing it…

"There." Zoro patted his loose black pants and plain white shirt with a look of satisfaction as he pulled on a black leather jacket. He hadn't wanted to admit to Sanji that the little spectacle they had put on outside had affected him in ways that made him, shall we say, uncomfortable with tight clothes. "Ready?"

Sanji decided that he would be merciful. "You're still wearing eyeshadow."

"Shit." Zoro went to the washroom, and the sound of running water carried into the dressing room. "Thanks. Hey…"

"Hm?"

"What did you think?" Zoro called. He was scrubbing at his eyes carefully—he had learned how painful makeup was in the eyes—as he spoke.

"It was good," Sanji said simply.

"Oh, come on!" Zoro growled. "You give out words to women like crazy, but when I ask you hardly have enough of a response to fill in two seconds of silence?"

Sanji shrugged. "It was…interesting. I really liked it." He smirked. "I thought you didn't care much for this. Why does my opinion matter?"

Zoro smiled behind a face covered in soap. "Thanks, cook." He frowned at what Sanji said last. "If I waste my time doing something like this it might as well be for something…halfway decent."

"No problem, marimo. You did great."

Zoro looked in the mirror and decided that no one would say anything about the tiny sparkles left around the corners of his eyes. "What do you think they'll serve us tonight?"

"I don't know. I've never been here before. You don't know?"

"I stepped foot in here, once, when Bon got a raise and he treated all the instructors at Baroque Works to booze. Biggest mistake of my life." Zoro didn't want to think about the hands that had gotten in all sorts of questionable places on his body.

"Hm," Sanji hummed as they stepped back out into the club. They made their way up the stairs as quickly as possible, but there was no escaping recognition with Zoro's green hair.

"Oi! Don't touch," Zoro snapped at a particularly frisky okama, who merely winked in return. "I'm never coming here again."

"Hey, guys! Over here!" Nami waved from a long table set for all of them, including Bon (much to Zoro and Sanji's chagrin). "We already ordered, but what do you want to drink?"

"I'll take a glass of wine," said Sanji.

"Whatever you have that's strong," Zoro said. "Preferably without any juice, fruit, or frills."

The waiter—or waitress?—taking their orders stared at Zoro. "Say, you were on stage, weren't you? The one who did the last act?" It was a man, speaking in a falsetto.

"Er…" Zoro pulled at his collar nervously.

"You are!" the okama squealed. "I'll be right back!"

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Zoro groaned. "Why…"

"Relax, bro. It might be okay," Franky said, trying to placate Zoro without much hope.

They sat and chatted; Mihawk said little as he sat at the head of the table, but his eyes bored into the side of Zoro's face; he refused to turn and look. "What a way to spend a Friday night," he muttered under his breath. Their food began to come, piled high on white and purple plates. Sanji sniffed one plate passing by and was playfully smacked by the waiter. He looked in anticipation at the steaming plate of sea bass on sautéed asparagus and took a small bite experimentally. The fish was cooked, but not to the point of dryness. The asparagus was both fragrant and buttery. He was satisfied.

"Zoro, how's your—oh my," Robin said as placed her fork and knife on the table. "What is that?"

Three waiters came towards them bearing one enormous tray.

_Please don't come here,_ Zoro prayed. _Fuck it—get the hell out of here, you bastards!_

"Kamabakka Nightclub's deluxe drink set," the waiter who had recognized Zoro said proudly. "On the house." He set the thing on the table right in front of Zoro as other tables stared.

"It's…big," Usopp said, his jaw nearly on the table.

'It' was a silver goblet—yes, a _goblet—_filled to the brim with clear liquid. It sat in the middle of a circle of shotglasses, and an elaborate heart made of fruit circled the entire thing. It was flashy, it was ostentatious, and it was—

"Mmm, delicious!" Luffy said around a mouthful of pineapple heart pieces. "This is—ouch!"

"This is for Master Roronoa!" the waiter said shrilly. "Not for you!" He held the tray like a plank in a warning movement before going off to wait on other tables, his stiletto-clad heels clacking with every step.

Zoro was torn between downing the alcohol and leaving the thing alone. Sure, it was alcohol, but it was just not right. He resorted to sitting with the thing staring him in the face for the entire meal as he tore into his brisket.

"You don't like it?" the waiter asked in an injured voice. "When…I asked the bartender specially…" A tear was beginning to form at the corner of his eye.

Zoro grimaced as he reached over the heart and grabbed a shotglass.

It went down like water. It burned like fire.

"Sh…it," Zoro said through gritted teeth. "You people don't play around, do you? That's—_strong,"_ he hissed. He smiled a little. He shouldn't be so hard on them.

The second one was a little easier, but was by no means painless.

By the sixth one, everyone was watching in fascination as Zoro almost looked slightly tipsy.

The twelfth and last shot was watched over a dessert of ice cream sundaes, fancy little chocolate cakes, and Knickerbocker Glories. It was barely perceptible, but there was a slight tremor to Zoro's hand as he placed the glass down.

"Maybe you should slow down," Chopper said worriedly. "I know you can handle more than most people, but even you have to have a limit."

"Bullshit," Zoro laughed. Sanji raised an eyebrow; Zoro was usually a lot gentler with his words with Chopper. "It's just one more cup and I'll stop, okay, doctor?" He raised the goblet and smiled at everyone. "Cheers." He took a long draught and set the cup down, licking the rivulet that ran down his chin. He looked at everyone with a vaguely cheerful look on his face before his eyes rolled back to show white. He then proceeded to fall face-first into the fruit platter.

"Hey, Zoro! Oi! Wake up!" Sanji said anxiously, shaking Zoro roughly by the shoulder. "Get up! You idiot, if you went and got alcohol poisoning, I swear—" The others joined in the clamor, sans Mihawk, who watched in interest.

Zoro's head swung up suddenly and he grinned maliciously. "Gotcha. Just kidding." His tongue darted out to taste the fruit juice on his face. "Kind of a messy prank, but whatever. Take me home, cook." He stood without much trouble. "I want to sleep."

Sanji opened his mouth to argue (the evening was still relatively young, after all) but closed it when he saw the way Zoro's eyes drooped slightly at the corners and his lips were pressed into a frown. "Alright. Thanks for dinner, you guys. I'll take him home, you don't have to stand," he said as the others began to take their things. "Relax. Hang out a bit, maybe dance?"

"I don't know…this is almost like last time," Chopper said fearfully. Usopp shuddered without a word as Luffy chuckled nervously.

"It'll be fine. Sit, mademoiselles, sit!" insisted Sanji, pressing Nami gently back into her chair and putting a hand on Robin's shoulders. "Hey, asshole. Stop making them worry and tell them that you're fine."

"What? 'm great. Feeling great," Zoro slurred slightly.

Sanji opened his mouth to retort and remind Zoro that he was _not doing fine seeing as he was actually drunk,_ but was interrupted when Zoro's face fell into the fruit platter again. Since he had been standing, his entire body buckled over the edge of the table.

"Yeah, nice try, idiot," Sanji said, seething. "It's not going to work again." The others laughed, but suddenly went silent when Zoro didn't move. "Um, hey, you okay?" He poked Zoro experimentally in the head; Zoro didn't move.

Ace's utterance of "Oh, shit" pretty much summed up everyone's feelings.

"Chopper," Sanji said calmly. "You said the last time this happened was when you placed depressants that would magnify the alcoholic effect in his drink?"

"Yeah," Chopper replied unsteadily. "He's never been like this except for that time."

Sanji stood; a dark aura surrounded his entire being menacingly. "Waiter. Come here." Although his voice was soft, it carried across the room to strike fear into the heart of the waiter. The man approached carefully.

"Y-yes, sir?"

"What did you put in these drinks?" Sanji asked with a smile, waving to the empty cups. "You know, did you add any special fruit juice…alcohol mixes…drugs?"

"Drugs? Goodness, of c-c-course not," the waiter said, edging away. He suddenly dropped his tray and fled.

Sanji picked up the goblet and sniffed it. "Hey Nami, do you have one of those papers? The ones that turn colors when drinks are tampered with?"

Nami nodded and drew one from her purse. "I never go drinking without them. Here." She dipped a white slip of paper into the bottom of the cup, where a few drops were left. It turned a bright red color instantly. "Looks like these were full of roofies."

Sanji's hands shook angrily as he turned to run after the waiter. He was stopped by Bon, whose face was downcast and ashamed. "Sanji, dear, I will handle this. No one under my employment is allowed to get away with something like this."

"Your employment?" Sanji asked in surprise. "You own Kamabakka?"

"I manage it while the owner is away. Queen Ivankov has been away on business for a while…" Bon sighed sadly. "But rest assured that that monster of a waiter will be punished. Bunny-chan!" A man rushed over at Bon's call; he wore bunny ears and a Playboy-esque outfit. "Gather the others and track down the waiter who just ran off, will you? We have a little problem." The man nodded and rushed off. "In the meantime, we should get Zoro to a hospital, shouldn't we? I'm sure each one of those shots was pumped full of nasty things."

Sanji nodded. "Chopper, help me?" Together, they lifted Zoro off of the table and took him out the door. "Where's the nearest hospital?"

"There's one in Water Sector where I work," Chopper said. "You may not remember, but that's where you were treated for a cranial injury."

Sanji thought for a moment. _That was the day I met Zoro…_

_He took care of me. Now it's my turn._

---

Everything was black, and painful. Someone was drilling a hole into the side of his head with a rusty spoon. It was an unfamiliar feeling.

"Zoro?"

Zoro moaned slightly and opened his eyes. "Shit, that light is _way_ too bright…and your voice is too loud…"

"Wow, I think he actually has a hangover," Usopp whispered.

"What's a hangover?" Luffy whispered back.

"Remember that time you thought that rum was fruit juice and how you felt the next morning?"

"Ooohhh."

Zoro squinted in displeasure. "Shut up, you guys."

"I'll take him home as soon as he's discharged. Most of the toxins have been flushed from his body," Robin said quietly. "Is there anything we can do about his headache?"

Zoro's last thoughts before he drifted off into blissful oblivion were _Where's Sanji?_

Sanji watched from the doorway quietly. He wondered how things turned out like this; whenever they tried to have fun, something bad would always happen (usually to Zoro). When they went paintballing, he had had an emotional dispute with Robin; when they went to Japan, he fell ill; when they were supposed to all have fun at Zoro's expense, he got drugged.

It didn't really sound like a good life to lead.

Sanji walked down the halls of the pristine hospital and into a courtyard; it was empty, so he lit up. He took a deep drag of his cigarette. "Man…"

"Hello, Sanji." Robin took a seat next to Sanji and shook her head when Sanji moved to stub his cigarette. "It's fine, I don't mind. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing very well, with the company of such a beautiful woman," Sanji said, his heart not really in the praise. Robin looked at him shrewdly. "You know, Zoro was looking for you earlier."

"I heard."

"You make him very happy." She smiled.

"Do I? It seems like all we do is bicker," Sanji said. "I could do better for him."

"But you also speak amiably to one another as well, and kiss," Robin pointed out. "I'm not exactly sure what you do behind closed doors, but one might guess." Sanji nearly coughed on a hastily inhaled puff of smoke. "Ah, I suppose not, then."

"Do…do you think we should?" Sanji's brain normally skirted around the topic of sex+Zoro.

Robin laughed. "Oh, I'm not making any suggestions. After all, Zoro is a very gentle lover, and very receptive to his lover's desires. If you don't want it, he won't try and press it on you."

"I…I see," said Sanji, unsure of how to react to this frank analysis of Zoro pertaining to the bedroom.

"I see I'm making you feel awkward."

"No! Not at all!" Sanji insisted. "Every word that falls from your lips makes me slip into a further state of bliss! Ah—"

"He'll be fine. He's a resilient man. I'm sure this is the first time that another man has attempted to coerce his way into Zoro's bed in such a manner, but Zoro must be used to it by now." At Sanji's shocked glance, Robin laughed softly. "He was quite popular at the University. Girls would approach him, with requests that ranged from innocent lunch outings to depraved midnight rendezvous. He seemed to be impervious to their charms." Robin winked slowly, seductively, and Sanji. "I was honored that he chose me to accompany him. He's a good man."

"I'm sorry, my dear, but…why are you telling me all this?" Sanji asked.

Robin looked at the sky; it was slowly turning to dawn. "Winter's coming," she said. "Can you smell it on the air?"

Sanji privately thought that maybe Robin liked to smoke marijuana.

"Zoro can handle a lot," Robin continued. "But he has been very happy with you. I trust that you will act accordingly. He trusts you more than most, and that's highly unusual for someone he has not known for a very long time. If his trust were to be betrayed…"

Wait. Was Robin _threatening him?_

"He's very precious to all of us. You're doing a good job," Robin said with a smile.

Ah. She was threatening to threaten him, then.

"The point I'm coming to—yes, there is a point," Robin said. "Do not make the same mistakes I did. Don't feel like you have to act to make him safe from any outside dangers, whether it's the authorities or strange cross dressers. Just take it in stride, laugh it off with him, and carry on with life. Do you think he'd want it any other way?" She stood. "He'll be discharged within the hour. He likes congee with laver and dried fish, and pickled plums on the side." She walked inside without a backwards glance.

Sanji stared rather idiotically at her back as the doors closed. "She said she had a point. I think that just went over my head. Shit. What the hell just happened?" He felt like he was missing someone important that her words had conveyed, silently. "What on earth was she asking of me? Should I take care of him, or not? Well…in the meantime, I think I'll go make some congee then…"

---

Zoro woke up to a much more pleasant environment than his last one. His bed felt and smelled familiar; the blinds were closed, and only a dim light could be seen outlining the cracks in the doorway to his bedroom. He was home.

"Mizu…" he groaned, fumbling around. A reflection of the light brought his attention to the glass of water at his side, and he drank greedily. His headache had subsided considerably, although he felt a little weak. He didn't like the feeling.

In the kitchen, Sanji stirred a pot on the stove and sprinkled in a smidgeon of garlic powder. After stirring it and tasting it, he nodded in satisfaction before scooping a generous portion into a bowl. "Laver…dried fish…and umeboshi," he muttered to himself. "With another glass of water on the side." After grabbing a spoon from a drawer, he picked up the tray and made his way to Zoro's bedroom. He pushed the door open gently with his foot and poked a head inside. "Are you awake?"

"Yep."

"Good. I made you something to eat." Sanji placed the tray on the floor next to Zoro's bed and sat on the floor next to the low bed. Scooping a small spoonful from the bowl, he blew on it gently before asking, "Are you nauseous? Can you eat?" Zoro nodded. "Open wide."

"Cook, you are _not_ going to spoon-feed—" Zoro was shut up by a spoonful of rice porridge. It was "Freakin' delicious," Zoro mumbled before swallowing. "It's…it's just right."

"I know," Sanji said with a wink. "Isn't it always?"

Zoro shrugged. He opened his mouth wide. "Aaah."

Sanji took a spoonful of congee, saying, "Here comes the airplane!"

"Just feed me, asshole." That got him a spoonful of porridge all over his nose. "Oi!"

"Oops, I missed. You shouldn't talk while I'm trying to feed you."

Zoro growled playfully and lunged for the spoon with his open mouth. That got him another smearing of rice on his cheek.

"I thought you hated wasting food," Zoro scowled.

Sanji grinned. "I plan on seeing you eat every bit of rice. Including the bits on your face. Now, eat up! I've got to go make some calls." He handed Zoro the spoon and stood. "I'll be back in a few." He walked out of the bedroom and returned to the kitchen, where a pad of paper with a phone number he had looked up earlier was scrawled across a notepad.

Sanji clutched the phone in one hand, steeling himself. He knew that once he made this call, then there would be no going back. The person he was about the call was quite possibly the most dangerous and unpredictable individual he had ever had the opportunity to meet. He slowly punched in the number, feeling a slight trickle of sweat run down his temple.

"_Helloooo~?"_

"This is Sanji. Bon, I need you to teach me _everything_ you know about Savate in combat." If he was going to keep an eye on Zoro without being obtrusive or coddling, then he'd have to have a reason for going everywhere with Zoro. With that tournament Zoro had mentioned earlier coming up, there was no way he was going to let Zoro enter it alone…just in case.

"_Oh, dear—Sanji, love, I thought you'd never ask!"_


	18. Chapter 18

"Ichi…ni. Ichi…ni." Zoro swung the shinaii up and down smoothly as a chorus of "Ichi…ni!" followed him through the dojo. It was crowded today; there was hardly any room to move around.

Zoro glowered at the large group of new students that had joined the class as he tripped over a high-heeled shoe someone had carelessly left on the mat.

"Oi! Whichever one of you idiots left this here, take it off! No shoes on the mats!" Zoro growled. He could hear titters from the students as one of them ran forward and returned the shoe to the shoe rack. "Good. Now, ichi! Ni! San! Shi! Go!" He set his shinaii down and continued to glare at the students. He could see his regulars scattered here and there amongst the crowd of powdered faces and pouting lips. "Raise your hand if you're a goddamned okama." Hands went up enthusiastically into the air. "Now smack yourself with that hand if you're only here because of what went on at Kamabakka." Half of them hit themselves as the other half looked at each other in confusion. Zoro groaned. "Seiza! Now! Stay there until I get back, and if any of you can't hold it for that long then you can leave!" He bolted out the door, only stopping to bow off the mats and pull on his shoes.

"Looks like you have a full class again today, eh?" Sanji said with a grin as he saw Zoro sprint through the door to Bon's studio. "The day that you think of Bon's studio as a haven…I think the devil must have the flu after hell froze over."

Zoro ignored him. "Bon!" he roared, storming into the room. "Get those damned okama of yours out of my dojo!"

Bon looked up from where he was correcting a student's posture. "Moi?" he asked innocently. "Ah, non, mon cher. I'm afraid they're _your_ okama now. As much as it pains me to let some of my students go, I cannot begrudge them the opportunity to study under you!" He twirled excitedly. "Perhaps we could create a fusion of kendo, ballet, and Savate! You could come here after hours for private—" His words were cut off when Sanji's foot collided with his face. "Oof!"

"Let me take care of them, marimo," Sanji said, rolling back his sleeves. As he left the room, Zoro thought he heard Sanji say, "Only I'm allowed to harass my marimo…" Grinning despite himself, Zoro followed.

"Oh, is that him?"

"It's the one that—"

"Our dearest—"

"Teacher loves. His lover! Sanji!"

The whispers of the okamas didn't escape Sanji's notice. His eyebrow twitched, curling slightly in the most comical fashion. Zoro held back the urge to laugh when he saw the dangerous glint in Sanji's eye; the blond man had been going to Bon's class, without complaint, nearly every day now during the past few weeks since the Kamabakka incident. Zoro knew Sanji was annoyed at the sudden attention Zoro was getting from the transvestites, but they had both thought that the new students would have been scared away from Zoro's classes after a few days. It had been much longer than that now, and Sanji was ready to take action.

"Raise your hand if you know who I am," Sanji drawled, looking at the rows of men on their knees in seiza. "Now smack yourself with that hand if you're here for Zoro, and not for kendo." Another round of slapping sounds went around the room. "Now get up. Off your knees." The men looked up at Zoro, and he nodded. He definitely wanted to see this. Sanji sauntered to the middle of the room and put his hands in his pockets. "If you can beat me then I'll let you have a piece of that fine ass right there," Sanji said with a smirk. "Of course, the operative word here is 'if.' Feel free to come all at once."

There was a tense pause, and one of the men said, "I can actually _touch_ him?" before running at Sanji. The other okamas quickly followed suit. For a second, Zoro was afraid that Sanji had bitten off more than he could chew—these men had trained under Bon _and_ Zoro, after all—but found his smile widening when the first wave of men flew away from Sanji. He loved those long legs, the way they moved through the air like blades, and the way Sanji was so easygoing through it all. He also saw that Sanji was even more comfortable with his form, if it was possible. The training must have really paid off—impressivelyso.

In a few seconds, the room was full of groaning men sporting bruises all over their bodies. Even without shoes on, Sanji was a formidable fighter.

Zoro found himself kicking off his shoes and walking onto the mat, three bokken at the ready. Shinaii wouldn't be sturdy enough for this, and he was too impatient to go get his swords.

He wanted to fight, damnit!

"Oho?" Sanji said as he saw Zoro facing him, santoryuu blazing. "Marimo wants a fight?"

Zoro leapt forward, swords swinging.

"Then I'll give you a fight!"

---

Mihawk looked at the bleeding and bruised pair of men standing in front of him, like a teacher looking at two errant students. The sheepish, yet satisfied, looks on their faces did not escape him.

Sanji took the time to take in the appearance of Mihawk's office. Aside from the expensive furniture made from animals and plants that he was pretty sure were either endangered or extinct, there were weapons. Lots and lots of weapons. Not just swords, but knives, maces, axes, javelins…Sanji had no doubt that Mihawk could pick up any one of these and kill him with it.

He swallowed nervously.

"You will both be subjected to Bon's ministrations before you leave. I have given him permission to use any liberty he wishes on you," Mihawk said calmly. "You are dismissed."

Of all the weapons in Mihawk's arsenal, that was the worst.

A few hours later, Zoro and Sanji stumbled out of Baroque Works as if they weren't quite sure what had hit them. They didn't even realize that they were attracting an unusually high number of stares from strangers, or that men would jeer at Zoro and ogle Sanji. They managed to pass through the gates and up the stairs of Galley-La without detection by either Luffy or Ace, and collapsed in Zoro's apartment, kicking off two pairs of high heels.

"Shit," Sanji said, pulling his denim miniskirt down.

"Damn," Zoro agreed, scratching his crotch through a pair of leather pants.

Sanji sighed as he went to the bathroom. "Gotta take a leak," Sanji mumbled. Zoro lay languidly on the couch until he heard Sanji holler from the bathroom. He sprung to his feet and ran to the bathroom. "Oi, cook! What's wrong?"

"Look at me!" Sanji scowled. Zoro looked in the mirror and nearly jumped out of his skin. While Sanji was adorned with a tasteful amount of blue eyeshadow, blush, and mascara, Zoro looked like a maudlin clown.

"Shut up, cook! Look at me!" They two men took in their appearances before falling to the ground in peals of laughter.

"You look like an idiot!"

"You look like a drag queen!"

A moment's silence.

"…how do we get this stuff off?"

Another moment's silence.

Sanji sighed and pulled out his cellphone, pressing the speed dial with one manicured finger.

"_Hello?"_

"Naaaaami!" Sanji's face lit up. "Princess—no, my queen—"

"_Sanji, I'm kind of busy right now," _Nami said. Zoro could hear the impatience even from where he was standing. _"What is it?"_

"We have a slight problem, and I'm just so sorry to trouble you," Sanji swooned. Zoro rolled his eyes.

"I don't remember you being this much of a moron," Zoro snapped, snatching the phone from Sanji. "Oi, witch, how do you get makeup off of your face?"

"_Pardon me? I don't think that's any way to ask a lady a question,"_ Nami said sweetly. Zoro could just picture the devious look on her face now.

"Answer the question, woman!"

"Hey asshole, don't talk to her like that."

"I'll talk to her the way I want to!"

"You picking a fight?"

They both stopped at the sound of the dial; she had hung up.

"What do we do now?" Zoro asked. Sanji shrugged.

"Use sheer force to scrape it off," Sanji said. They both retreated to the bathroom and went to work.

"Say, cook," Zoro said, gingerly pawing at one eye. "Why are you at Bon's studio so much?"

Sanji stopped from where he was experimenting with soap at the sink. "What do you mean?"

"We both know he's a fucking touchy-feely kind of guy. But now you're going more often than ever."

Sanji resumed his cleaning with a snort. "It feels good to kick his ass sometimes. Do I really need to say more?" Zoro looked at Sanji suspiciously; he would normally expect Sanji to bitch and moan all day about attending Bon's classes, but here he actually sounded half-willing. "Anyways," Sanji continued. "When's your next tournament coming up? Soon, right?"

Zoro nodded absently and nearly poked his eye out. "Unngh—yeah, in a couple of weeks. This one's a bit special."

"Do tell."

"Mihawk's fighting," Zoro said, a barbaric grin creeping across his face. "He hasn't fought in an official tournament for years. It's a pretty big event."

"What's making him fight?" Sanji asked curiously. He had never seen the stern man draw his sword, much less fight.

"He has to defend his title once in a while," Zoro explained. "An Alpha swordsman won't have any credit to his name if he can't beat off the newbies and teach them their places, you know? This is it," he said. His voice was hot with excitement. "I'm going to beat him. Once word got out that he was in, fighters from all over the world signed up. Then again, I guess you couldn't really expect any less from the Buddha's Belly."

Sanji stared. "…pardon?"

"The Buddha's Belly."

"…"

"It's a tournament," Zoro explained with a grin. "The name sounds goofy, but it's held by the only known representative of those who name the Letters. No one knows much about him, but they call him Sengoku the Buddha." He stopped when he heard a knock at the door.

"Expecting anyone?" Sanji asked, looking at his reflection; most of the worst stuff was gone.

Zoro shook his head. His face was still a mess of cosmetics, made worse by the attempts to remove it. "Maybe it's Luffy. If he knows you're here, he's probably going to beg for food." The knock sounded again. "Oi, oi! Hold your goddamn horses, I'm coming!" he yelled. "Just a minute, sweetheart," he told Sanji.

"Shut up, asshole," Sanji laughed. He picked at a patch of glitter on his cheek. For some reason, glitter was especially obstinate when it came to removal.

Zoro opened the door and saw a stranger standing in the doorway. "Oh, sorry about that earlier. What can I do for you?" he asked, looking the man up and down (but mostly up). He looked like the kind of person who should have been sitting on a porch, drinking beer. _Middle-aged, tinted retro sunglasses, but dresses well,_ Zoro noted. He didn't know why he was analyzing this man, who was standing easily against the doorway with his hands in his pockets. He was very tall. Zoro took note of where his sword case was, cursing the distance. Something was off here.

"Aaah?" The man looked down at Zoro and smiled pleasantly. "Is this the residence of a Zoro Roronoa…?" If he was surprised at Zoro's appearance, he didn't show it.

Zoro nodded. "That would be me."

"Oh, very good, very good," the man said, still smiling. "You see, I'm here—ah—representing the Buddha's Belly Tournament. I'm sure you're well-aware of what I'm speaking of?"

Zoro nodded again. "I've never participated before. Was there something missing in my paperwork?"

"Ah no, ah no," the man shook his head. "It was all in order."

"Sorry," Zoro said suspiciously, "I didn't catch your name."

"Ah, how careless," the man said, shaking his head."You may call me Kizaru. One of my duties is, how should I put this…" He hemmed and hawed for a moment, thinking. "Once the competitors enter, we sort out the promising from the weak and cast out the latter. They never get a chance to compete. But my being here means that you're in. There's just one step of the process that hasn't been done."

"Wha—" Zoro said, but was interrupted when a long leg swung at his head. "Shit!" He rolled backwards out of the way and shook the splinters from his head. Kizaru looked at his leg, which was embedded in the doorsill, and clicked his teeth.

"Oh dear, I'm not supposed to do too much damage," he said, shaking his head. "But that's very good! Your reflexes are not too bad, young man."

"What the fuck are you doing, you crazy bastard?" Zoro growled as Kizaru tugged his leg free and kicked at him again. It was nearly impossible to dodge; he doubted even Sanji was that fast.

_I need my swords…!_

Sanji heard a crash come from the other room and rushed out. He found a giant attacking Zoro, who was dodging with everything he had. Sanji was dumbfounded; this man was terrifying.

"Idiot, why are you just standing there? My swords!" Zoro yelled at Sanji. Sanji blinked.

"Where?"

"Bedroom!"

"…you would keep them in the bedroom…" Sanji muttered under his breath. He sprinted to the bedroom and thanked the gods that he hadn't put too much furniture in here. It was easy to see the sword case leaning against the wall, and he grabbed it before returning to the scene. Zoro and Kizaru had moved to the kitchen, where Zoro had substituted swords for knives. "You heathen, don't use cooking knives!" Sanji protested. He threw the sword case. "Catch!"

Zoro caught the case. Sanji didn't see him open it, nor did he see him draw the swords, but suddenly there were three blades bristling and fending off Kizaru's attacks. The man had proven that he was an expert not only with kicks but with punches as well.

"Explain yourself," Zoro snarled, Sandai Kitetsu at Kizaru's throat. Kizaru didn't look fazed in the slightest.

"Not bad," Kizaru said appreciatively. "You pass." The blade tickled his throat. "Oi, now, let's not be hasty, eh? I'm just here because Sengoku wants to make sure that his fighters are worth the trouble. And you passed." He pushed the blade aside. "Good day to you, gentlemen."

"Hey! What about my apartment?" Zoro objected. He gestured towards the wreckage of what had been a well-furnished apartment.

Kizaru looked over his shoulder in disappointment. "If you win, then things like cost will no longer be an issue," he said coolly. "But if you lose…" He let the words trail in the air. _Then you will be dead. And dead men live in coffins._

Sanji sighed after Kizaru left. "Shit, he's like a glorified bouncer."

"Yeah," Zoro agreed. "Ace is going to kill me."

Across Galley-La, Ace was looking through the window with horrified eyes.

"Did you just hear someone shriek about utility bills?" Sanji asked.

"Nah, must just be your imagination," Zoro said.

"Anyways, I should be heading home soon," Sanji said, looking at the clock. "It's pretty late." _And I'm expecting a visitor,_ he thought to himself sourly. _He had better not break anything._ He still hadn't told Zoro that he'd be participating in the Buddha's Belly._ Good lord, what kind of a name is that? I had Bon arrange to get me in so I didn't even know the name…_

He left—not without a rough kiss from Zoro—and climbed into his Sanjimobile with a sigh. He did not feel like fighting any crazy giants today. He just wanted to go home, give his face one last scrub, and sleep.

As he twisted the key in the ignition, he heard a deep velvety voice from the backseat.

"So, you must be Sanji Baratie. I'm representing the Buddha's Belly Tournament…"

"Shit!"

Zoro heard an almighty crash from outside. He ran out, leaving the door open (it wouldn't close, with the busted doorjamb) and dashed into the street. Something was telling him to run, as fast as he could.

He found the Sanjimobile crushed against a telephone pole, one laser beam half-out and lights flashing erratically. The driver's seat had been ejected, and was sitting forlornly on the street.

Sanji was nowhere to be seen.

---

"I said get me on the fucking phone with—"

"_Mr. Roronoa, you're going to have to calm down."_

"Don't tell me what to do, you asshole! Just get me through!"

"_Roronoa, what the hell do you think you're doing calling at this time of night?"_

"Smoker!" Zoro felt relief flood through his bones at the older man's gravelly tones. "It's about Sanji. He's gone missing."

"_Sanji Baratie?"_ Smoker sounded impatient. _"Long, lean, looks like he doesn't eat any of his own cooking?"_

"That's him" Zoro affirmed. "He just left my place, but I just found his car totaled and he's nowhere around. Think you can get some of your guys to check this place out?"

"_The police are not to be used for such things, Roronoa,"_ Smoker snapped. _"We've actually got real duties. If your boyfriend is lost then you can put up some signs on the telephone posts or something."_

Zoro sighed. "Don't make me do it, Smoker."

"_You wouldn't—no—" _Smoker snarled. _"I told you that I would repay you after that incident in the alley, but not like this! You said you were only going to cash in on this for drinks!"_

"I'm calling in that favor. I'll even throw in the cook's first-class cooking. Full course meal," Zoro offered. His voice was too close to pleading for his own comfort.

"…_fine. I'll get some officers to sweep the area. But our debt is settled now, you hear?"_

"Tell Tashigi I said hello."

"_Will do, you bastard."_

Zoro waited anxiously, examining the wreckage for clues. Soon, he heard police sirens blaring in the distance, and smiled. He knew it had been a good idea to save Smoker's life when the man had been outnumbered. Although Smoker had proven his mettle while outnumbered many times, there was no defending against men sniping from dark rooftops. Zoro had been leaving an underground competition at the time, and one sword had been enough to finish off the beleaguered man's opponents.

He pulled out his phone again. "Franky? I've got a big job for you…"

"_Shit, did you crash the FrankOpp?!"_ Franky automatically shrieked into the phone. _"Dude, I TOLD Usopp that you'd wreck it. We've got a betting pool on how long it'd take."_

"No, it's even worse. The Sanjimobile."

Franky groaned. _"Not that sweet piece of work…you guys are so goddamned irresponsible. I'm going to kill you both when I get my hands on you."_

Zoro laughed as he hung up, but hoped that there would be a Sanji for Franky to kill when he arrived. He had just spotted a splatter of blood against the seat of the Sanjimobile.

---

Sanji staggered through the streets of Water Sector, thanking the stars that he hadn't been caught injured in the ghettos of Earth Sector.

"Ara ara, you ought to stop now." That same deep voice made him jump as he rounded a corner. "You're lucky Kizaru wasn't the one sent to test you. He and Akainu would have killed you in a heartbeat."

"Who are you?" Sanji demanded. The man—he was as tall as Kizaru—slapped his forehead.

"Ah, my, I've forgotten to introduce myself. Well, it was hard when you disappeared like that. Your car ejected you, didn't it? My name is Aokiji." He ran a hand through his thick afro. "If you just give up now, you can leave with your life. You don't have to compete."

"Bullshit," Sanji barked. _Where have I heard that name…? Aokiji… _"I'll do what I want." He lashed out with another kick, noticing in consternation that it barely would have brushed against the man's temple.

"Hey," Aokiji protested. One arm easily blocked the trajectory of his kicks. "That's dangerous, you."

The sound of police sirens interrupted them. Aokiji looked up in surprise, and Sanji took the opportunity to lash out with his other leg.

"Oof," Aokiji complained. He rubbed his jaw ruefully. "I suppose that's what I get for getting distracted. Alright, I'll pass you for that." He easily turned on one heel and walked off in the other direction, whistling.

"Oi! Come and finish what you started!" Sanji yelled after him. Aokiji merely waved.

"Sanji!" A police car screeched to a halt next to him, and Tashigi clambered out. "Are you alright?"

"Ah, Tashigi!" Sanji stood as steadily as he could. He felt sore all over after the punches, kicks, and flips he had been subjected to. "Now that you're here, of course I am!"

Tashigi smiled in relief. There was something about the way Zoro's voice had sounded on the phone (not that she had been eavesdropping on Smoker's conversation, of course) that had made her worried. "Come on, we'll take you back home."

---

Zoro paced up and down his hallway. Franky and Usopp sat in the living room, inspecting the damage Kizaru had left.

"You say he did this with his _leg?"_ Usopp asked, his knees quivering slightly. "He's not coming back, is he? I think I smell gas, there must be a leak, let's get out of here—"

Franky tapped the wall and grimaced when it crumbled under his fist. "This is going to take some time, bro. We may have to reinforce the infrastructure of the entire apartment. These cracks run through the walls, even if you can't see them."

"That's fine. I'll pay you for the time and stuff…" Zoro said absently. _Damnit, why isn't Sanji calling?_

"You're going to have to move…out…" Usopp's voice trailed off when the phone rang and Zoro nearly barreled through him to answer it. "My life just flashed before my eyes," he said faintly.

"Hello?" Zoro shouted into the phone. "Sanji?"

"_This is Tashigi. Shut up, Zoro, you're being too loud."_

"Oh." Zoro balked slightly. "Hi, Tash."

"_Don't sound so disappointed. Sanji's here with me, he's fine. We're taking him back home."_

"Hey, Tashigi-sis!" Franky grabbed the phone. "Stop by here and pick this idiot up. He's going to have to move out while we fix up his crib. Alright, see you later, Tashigi."

"What!" Zoro protested.

"Face it, bro, you can't live here. Pack up and go home with your boy," Franky said firmly.

Zoro was about to argue when he stopped.

He'd be living…

…with Sanji.

And no windows for Ace to peek through.

"Wow, that was fast," Usopp said in wonder as Zoro disappeared into his bedroom and returned in a wink, packed suitcase flying behind him.

"What! He's living with me?" Sanji demanded, aghast. "That Neanderthal?"

"He's not so bad to live with. He generally keeps to himself, and he's pretty good about cleaning up after himself," Tashigi said off-handedly. "He was homeless for a brief period of time when Luffy bust a water main at Galley-La, so he stayed with me. It was…interesting." She blushed slightly, and Sanji wondered what had been so interesting about that experience.

Images of nudity—full-blown, accidental glimpses of nudity—flitted through his mind.

"I guess I'll have to put up with that bastard, then."

---

Zoro left his apartment in capable hands and ran down the stairs to meet Tashigi and Sanji when they arrived.

"Hey, marimo," Sanji drawled, coolly smoking a cigarette against the patrol car and looking unruffled. When Zoro came closer, he saw that Sanji's clothes were ripped, and his hair was disheveled and sticky with blood. He was also favoring one leg.

"Oi! What the hell happened?" Zoro ran a hand across Sanji's shoulder. "Did someone try to mug you?" His hands kept moving, patting up and down Sanji's torso and avoiding the head wound.

"I'm fine!" Sanji pushed Zoro away with his free hand. "Now, go get the aerocraft. I can't walk"

"You're _'fine'?!"_ Zoro threw his hands in the air. "Shit, cook, what the hell did you do? Hit the pole as fast as you could and run into the interstate to try to finish the job?"

"It's just a sprain," Sanji snapped irritably. He was tired, and annoyed, and—though he wouldn't admit it—a little scared. He wondered what kind of monstrous strength other contenders might have, and whether he'd even be able to compete at all. Two weeks was plenty of time under normal conditions, but he had work and training to do. He couldn't afford to rest, but nor could he afford to overwork himself either.

Things were tricky now.

Zoro opened his mouth to argue, but shut it again. He knew that Sanji was just as obstinate as Zoro himself was. "I'll get the aerocraft," he grumbled. "Want to take a spin, Tashigi?"

She shook her head. "I've got to get back and finish my report. Plus, I like having my skull not crushed from a fifty foot fall. Thanks, though."

Zoro trotted off to fetch the aerocraft. It was parked quietly on the top floor of the Galley-La parking structure, waiting for him under an unassuming tarp. "Hello, there," Zoro muttered under his breath. The aerocraft responded to his touch, humming slightly as he gripped the steering bars.

Sanji heard a thrumming sound pervading the air and looked up to see Zoro light on the ground smoothly. The aerocraft sounded a lot less like an unbridled horse and a lot more like a staunchly loyal steed; either Zoro had gotten better at handling it, or it had resigned itself to its fate under an inept driver.

"Bye, love—ah!!" Sanji squealed—no, he _barked,_ men don't squeal—as Zoro picked him up bridal-style. "P-put me down!"

"See you two later," Tashigi laughed. The sound of her slamming door and departing patrol car sealed Sanji's fate.

"So, cook. Want to ride in the front or back?" Zoro asked wickedly. "You can either let me put my arms around your waist or hold onto mine."

Sanji groaned and grudgingly wrapped his arms around Zoro's waist. "It's only a short way to my place. We can take the roads, can't we?" Zoro smiled pleasantly, much to Sanji's consternation.

"The…the buildings look very small, Zoro," Sanji said faintly as they soared through the air. "I'd rather we—augh! Shit, you fuckface!" Sanji dropped all pretense of politeness and switched to obscenity. "If you kill me, I'll kill you! I'll haunt you until the day you die, you shitty marimo! I'll haunt you to fucking death!"

"Relax," Zoro laughed. They were already in front of the Paris Baguette. "You're home."

Sanji released stiff muscles and fingers. "You're going to have to help me up," he mumbled in embarrassment. He'd normally tough it out, but he didn't want to exacerbate his leg any more than he had to.

The aerocraft cruised before parking in front of the café. "You have your key?" Zoro asked as the humming of the aerocraft died down into silence. Sanji nodded and pulled them out. Zoro took the keys in one hand and lifted Sanji over one shoulder with ease.

"This is the most embarrassing day of my life," Sanji groaned.

"Being carried ten feet on a deserted street? You've lived a good life, then," Zoro retorted sourly. He managed to open the door somehow and lock it behind him, mostly avoiding banging Sanji's head against the walls.

Mostly.

"Ouch! Asshole."

"Sorry."

They somehow made their way up the stairs and into Sanji's apartment above the café. It was quiet; Sanji hadn't spent nearly enough time tending to the café as he should have, and he regretted it as he passed the cold ovens and dark kitchen. In his pre-Zoro-and-company days, he would spend such late nights as this tinkering in the kitchen, sampling and cooking on wherever his whims took him.

"Hup," Zoro grunted, dropping Sanji on the bed. "Do you need anything?" he asked cautiously. Sanji was either going to be a total diva or a total prick, he just knew it.

As it turns out, he was neither.

Sanji stretched and arched his back against the soft comforter on his bed. "I'm just really stiff," he groaned, eyes screwed up in concentration as he worked out the kinks in his back. "That guy—" He shut his mouth quickly—it wouldn't do to have Zoro find out he was competing. He didn't like hiding the fact, but he guessed that Zoro would have a very different attitude about Sanji competing in the Buddha's Belly than in the Silver Fox.

Zoro, obviously, wasn't fooled. "Who attacked you?" he asked seriously. He took a seat on the bed next to Sanji and looked straight into his eyes. "Cook, you're hiding something. I can tell."

Sanji groaned. "Looks like the game is up. You know how that Kizaru guy attacked you because you passed the preliminary filter for the Buddha's Belly?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, some other guy came after me."

Zoro looked utterly lost. "But only people competing should have been attacked."

Sanji smacked his forehead. Why did Zoro have to suddenly become an idiot at a time like this? "I'm competing, dumbass."

Zoro stared at Sanji quite calmly. "You're competing?"

"Yeah."

"In the most dangerous fighting competition known to man since the gladiators?"

"Yep."

"Like hell." Zoro rose and strode to the door. "You're staying here until the tournament's over. You're not competing, curley-cue." He went into the hallway and shut the door, leaving no room for argument.

"Oi! Wait! The competition's _two weeks from now!"_ Sanji yelled. He dragged himself out of bed and walked on his hands to the door. Much to his dismay, the sound of something heavy dragging across the hardwood floor could be heard through the door. "What the hell are you doing? You had better not leave skidmarks on my floor, asshole!" The dragging sound suddenly stopped, and was replaced by a slight grunt as Zoro (presumably) picked up whatever he was dragging and dropped it in front of the door.

"You're staying here until I figure out what to do with you," Zoro said. His voice was muffled but perfectly clear. "Understood?"

"Fuck! Marimo, let me out! _Zoro!"_ Sanji pounded on the door with his fist as soon as he reached it, to no avail.

Zoro leaned against the couch he had left in front of the door with a heavy sigh. "I know you're strong, cook," he whispered, more to himself than to Sanji. "You might win...but you might not. I can't take that chance." He stood. "I'll be back later with food and stuff, okay?"

"I've got to open up at six tomorrow! Do you even know what the world looks like that early in the morning? Open—the—goddamned—door!" Sanji punctuated each word with a pounded fist.

"Goodnight…Sanji."

---

"I can't believe you locked him in his bedroom, Zoro." Robin peered over the brim of her teacup, obviously disapproving. They might as well have been in University all over again. Zoro felt just as chastised as if he had been called to the Dean's office again.

"I didn't know what to do! I just acted automatically," Zoro protested. "If I hadn't found out on a night like this—they sent assassins after us! Sort of. Except they would only have killed us if we hadn't given up."

"You don't think he's capable?"

"It's not that. It's just…I…" Zoro wavered slightly, one hand on his forehead in frustration.

Robin patted his shoulder understandingly. "You were scared. You know he's strong, and that he could very well win in his division, but seeing him injured after having both of you attacked in the same night…the sight of the crushed car…your apartment, demolished by an unarmed man…you didn't want him involved in any of that." Zoro stared at her.

"How…?"

"Zoro, I'm the one who left you because I didn't want you getting caught up in my political problems," Robin reminded him gently. "I think I know what you're going through right now, a little."

He sighed. "Did I do the right thing?"

Robin looked around at the café; they were sitting at a table in the Paris Baguette as Ace tended the ovens, shooting them sullen glances every once in a while. He was a surprisingly good chef, and was handling the flow of customers very well. However, he was aware of the destruction that Zoro's 'guest' had wreaked in Galley-La, and it had taken considerable persuasion on Robin's part to make him come at all.

"Zoro," Robin said with a slight smile. "We're sitting in the Paris Baguette at seven in the morning because you didn't have the courage to let Sanji out. Sanji has been shouting from the bedroom since five in the morning. Ace is decidedly angry. I have a class to teach in half an hour. _You_ have a class to teach in an hour. I think you could have handled things a little more delicately."

With an almighty groan, Zoro stood and started towards the stairs. "I guess I had better let him out, then. I'll talk to him."

Robin listened curiously as she sipped her tea.

_Scrape, scrape, scrape._

"_Marimo, you had better not be scraping my floor," _Sanji rasped, his voice still audible from downstairs.

"_Look, chef, let me explain—"_

_CRASH!_

"_Cook! Stop it! Augh!"_

"_You fucking—"_

"_Ouch!"_

The sound of something fragile smashing on the ground made even Ace look up.

"My, it sure is lively," Robin mused to herself when a great thudding sound shook the ceiling. "Ace, could I get another cup of coffee here?"

---

"Busy night?" Mihawk asked through the doorway of Zoro's dojo. Zoro glared at Mihawk from where he was keeping a close eye on his students. They were doing pure kata today, due to their teacher's physical state.

"This is all your fault," Zoro hissed angrily.

Mihawk stroked his moustache thoughtfully. "I fail to see the logic in that statement."

"It's your fault somehow. I don't know exactly how, but it is," Zoro grumbled angrily. "Oi!" he snapped at Helmoppo. "Your form is terrible!"

"Don't take out your frustration on your students," Mihawk said smoothly. He took in Zoro's black eyes, the busted lip, and the bandages that could be seen under his kendo-gi. "How is Baratie?"

It took a moment for Sanji's surname to register with Zoro; he had never heard anyone call Sanji anything other than his first name (or endearments, in Bon's case). "He's, um…"

"I saw his name on the Buddha's registry." Zoro noted how Mihawk avoided saying "belly;" was it not dignified enough for his vocabulary?

"There's a registry?"

"Only Alphas may view it, to see whether it is worth attending," Mihawk said delicately. "So, for you, no…there is no registry for you to look at."

_Asshole._

"Why didn't you say anything?" Zoro demanded indignantly.

Mihawk looked down his nose at Zoro in a clear show of scorn. "It is not my business to be involved in your domestic affairs, Roronoa. You could very well have asked him."

"How was I supposed to suspect that he'd sign up? He didn't even want to do the Silver Fox!"

"For good reason. The Silver Fox is a smear of filth on the face of competitive martial arts, full of poor martial artists hoping to line their pockets…"

"Oi…"

Mihawk began to stroke his moustache again. Zoro resisted the urge to strangle him. "Red Leg and Kurei have both retired. This will be very good for your friend Baratie. The second Baratie...this will be a tournament to remember. Ranks will be reshuffled, and lives may be lost…but it is rare to have so much fresh blood entering the ranks." He smiled a little. "Blood which may garnish the floors of the stadium."

When he left, Zoro felt a chill go up his spine. He had never been so excited, or so pumped. He jumped to his feet, ignoring the stabs of pain from the injuries he had sustained with Sanji. "Alright, you sorry-ass excuses for policemen, step it up! It's time to spar!"

---

Sanji inspected Ace's handiwork with a critical eye. Robin and Zoro had left, leaving him with the older D. brother. He noted the slightly crisp edges of the madeleines, and the way the croissants deflated ever so slightly after being taken out of the oven.

"So, why am I still here?" Ace wondered out loud, yawning widely. He had trouble staying up as it was—which was one of the reasons he had taken up managing Galley-La for a living—and being woken up after a sleepless night stressing about property values (mostly concerning Zoro's room) did not do well for him.

"Hush," Sanji chided. "This is not bad, but you need to layer the dough more delicately to reduce the loss of—"

"Sanji."

"—and if you leave these in the oven too long then they lose the spongy—"

"Sanji!"

"Hm?" Sanji mumbled around a mouthful of pastry. _Damnit, the marimo's manners have been rubbing off on me._ "Pardon…yes?"

"I'm a landlord. Land…lord. Do you hear the words 'pastry chef' in my title?" Ace asked, struggling to keep his voice even and polite. It wasn't Sanji's fault that he was here, after all.

"Oh. You can go, if you'd like," Sanji said, turning back to the pastries. "Hm, the way you filled the chocolate in here is kind of interesting…unorthodox, certainly…"

Ace was about to leave Sanji to his ruminations when he heard the bell on the door tinkle. He automatically looked up to greet whoever it was _(Only three hours working here and I'm already programmed to this schedule, _he thought_) _and stopped short. Smoker and a pink-haired woman, both in uniform, stepped through the door. Ace blinked as the two officers walked casually through the café and stopped in front of the counter.

"One coffee," Smoker ordered, his voice as deep and gravelly as usual. "Hina?"

"Smoker, you come to one of the most reputable cafes in Navarone and order a coffee? Hina thinks something wonderful is in one of those ovens." Hina looked over the counter and spied Sanji. "You, there. What is today's special?"

Sanji opened his mouth to reply, but Ace beat him to it. "Hello, officers!" the freckled man said cheerfully. "Today is your lucky day—you will be sampling delicacies made by my capable hands. What do you say?"

"Sounds like food poisoning."

"Hina concurs."

Sanji swooped in before Ace could say anything else. "I put a batch of raisin strudels in the oven not too long ago. If you're willing to wait a few minutes, I can have them piping hot on a plate for you, madam," he said, bowing and kissing Hina's hand. She did not look amused.

"Fine," she said shortly, retrieving her hand. "Let's get a table, Smoker."

"Alright. Portgas, you had better not…explode anything while I'm here," he growled. "Understood?"

"I haven't ever made anything explode!"

"Six years ago, the University pottery room was demolished because of what appeared to be an idiot playing with fire and clay balls. Four years ago, a fraternity house's toilet exploded after a mix of alcohol was lit and flushed down it. Last year—"

"Enough! I get the point!" Ace put his hands up in surrender. Smoker nodded in satisfaction and followed Hina to a table. Ace turned to look Sanji square in the eye with a look that did not bode well.

"What?" Sanji asked warily.

Ace pounded one fist into his palm. "I'm going to work here until I can make pastries to make those sour-pusses smile! Ossu!"

Sanji grimaced. This was going to be a long week, he just knew it.

Somehow, he managed to set Ace to beating eggs. He was surprised to find that Ace knew at least the fundamentals of culinary skills.

"So, where'd you learn to cook?" Sanji asked, folding pastries on a board.

Ace's hands didn't lose their rhythm as he replied, "I hung around University a while, taking classes here and there just so I could keep my status as a student. Plus, you get free food at the cooking classes, so I scheduled all the ones around lunchtime. Professor Jessica was as stern as they go, but she was really thorough with her teaching. I heard that she used to cook at a military academy, and that the cadets cried when she left to teach."

"Interesting," Sanji hummed. "Why the sudden interest in pastries? I never thought you'd be that familiar with the police."

"I've known Hina and Smoker for a while—although Smoker for longer, when Luffy and I would get into all sorts of trouble," Ace laughed airily. "It's good to be on their good sides. If only to get out of a parking ticket or two."

"Has it ever worked?"

"Nah."

Sanji had to laugh at that. "Nice, Ace."

"So, how are you and the Zo-man?"

"…Zo-man?"

Ace shrugged. "I've been trying to find new nicknames for him. Doesn't work?"

"Not at all." Sanji shuddered at the prospect of Zoro replying to the moniker 'Zo-man.' "We're not very happy with each other right now. It's about that competition coming up."

"Oh, the Buddha's Belly!" Ace scowled as Sanji took the eggs and inspected them. After Sanji nodded in approval, Ace was given the task of peeling fruit. "Yeah, I saw your name on the list."

"…the list?"

"You didn't know? I'm fighting! Alpha-level boxer right here, and given clearance to look at the list of competitors." Ace put the knife down long enough to jab the air with one fist. The air whistled with the speed of his movement. "They call me 'Fire-fist Ace' because—allegedly, of course—my fists can combust with the speed and force of my punch."

"…did you give yourself that name?" Sanji asked suspiciously.

"No!" Ace stuck his tongue out at Sanji. "So, what's up?"

Sanji explained the ordeal he had been through, starting with last night with Kizaru and Aokiji and ending with this morning's fiasco. Ace listened sympathetically, clicking his tongue and sighing in just the right places.

"You know, he's not unjustified in worrying. Hoi, let me finish," Ace said sternly when Sanji opened his mouth. "We—Zoro and I—have been through this in the rise to the top, even if he's never been in the Buddha's Belly before. He may not have expected Kizaru to come after him, or Aokiji after you, but he knows that if he dies on the way up, then he isn't worthy of getting there. But you're fresh meat. Kind of. And he doesn't want your flame to get snuffed out so fast, especially not when he's put so much emotional investment in you."

"Emotional…?"

Ace rolled his eyes. "You're his boo, his honey, his la-la lover. He likes you a whole lot, you know."

Sanji retched. "What the fuck? What street corner of hell did you hear those endearments from?"

Ace grinned mischievously. "I made up the last one."

"So, can't I just say I don't want him competing because I worry about him?" Sanji asked, slightly miffed. "I'm not a woman."

Ace suddenly became very interested in the apple he was de-coring. "You cannot do that because you would be depriving him of everything vital and important to him. He wants you to enter Water Sector life on your own right, but you have other options—cooking, for example. He does not. He has made swordsmanship his life, and if you try to take it away, then you might as well take his life."

"That's kind of dramatic, isn't it?" Sanji asked. Ace looked up at him in disbelief, and Sanji grimaced. Even he didn't believe his own words. "Fine, I understand that it's important to him. But how the hell do you expect me to just stand by as he gets torn apart? How can I let him enter that glorified cockfight without being strong enough to kick ass with him? It's, I don't know, comforting knowing that I can be there with him, you know?"

Ace hummed slightly in response, looking over to where the two police officers were chatting by the window. He knew what it was like, to worry about idiots who put their lives in danger for their own ideals. However, he had yet to muster the courage to do anything about it.

_Ding!_

"The strudels are ready!" Sanji sang cheerfully. He pulled on a pair of oven mitts on and pulled the trays from the oven. Ace's mouth watered uncontrollably as the smell wafted towards him and as the scent of sugar filled the room when Sanji dribbled icing on the strudels.

Maybe it was time for him to reevaluate his own life.

Sanji saw Ace daydreaming out of the corner of his eye and smiled. The older D. brother surprised him at times, swinging from absurd silliness to serious insightfulness. That quality appeared to be in both brothers.

Ace had also given him much food for thought. _I guess I'll go pay that marimo a visit later…_

---

"Oh, _no!"_

Sanji grimaced at the high-pitched wail.

"Bon, shut up and help me," Sanji growled as he hobbled through the door. Bon immediately leapt up and helped him take a seat.

"Who did this to you? I'll show them what it means to beat up a darling of mine!" Bon insisted, tears running dramatically down his face. "They didn't have this kind of hazing when I competed! But then again, it has been a few years…"

"He called himself Aokiji," Sanji replied, massaging his leg. _Damn, it's not any better from last night…not even a little…_

Bon froze. "A-Aokiji? Aokiji the Blue Pheasant?"

"You've heard of him?" Sanji asked, mystified. "Tall guy, afro, goes 'ara ara' a lot?"

Bon nodded stiffly. "Aokiji the Blue Pheasant. Kizaru the Yellow Monkey. Akainu the Red Dog. They were in the Letters, once upon a time, until Sengoku decided that it would be more beneficial to take them under the employment of the Letters to open them up to new blood. Otherwise, they'd never have left their positions of power. This leg…what happened?"

Sanji remembered the moment he knew he was fucked very well. "I tried a kick to the head, but he stopped it with one arm in a really weird way. He must have hit a nerve—my whole body froze up, and I couldn't move at all."

Bon began to cry anew. "Sanji, you can't compete. You will never be able to compete again."

"What?" Sanji grabbed Bon's shoulders and shook him angrily. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Any man who has ever felt Aokiji's attack that way has never been able to use their affected limbs again. It's like…frostbite. You might as well amputate your legs. Rumor is," Bon whispered, looking around the empty room suspiciously, "Sengoku tried to get Baratie—your father—to compete one last time just to make the transfer of titles official. Red Leg was old, after all…it was time for him to decisively pass the mantle along. At least, that was their reasoning. He refused, and they sent Aokiji after him. From there, it's all even murkier speculation."

"He…was this before or after he moved to Earth Sector?" Sanji asked. He had never been able to get a straight answer from his foster father. Whenever he had asked, all he had received in return was a 'Bah!' and 'Your little eggplant brain can't understand!'

"The reason he had to move to Earth Sector was on account of this incident. He wouldn't have been able to live in peace in Water Sector, and he was too proud to show those other Alphas what had happened to him. He lost his leg in the fight with Aokiji." Bon tapped his fingers along Sanji's thigh in thought. Both men were so absorbed in the issue that they didn't even realize it. "I've been asking around, seeing if anyone had any information, ever since you came to my studio. It was very hard—I haven't found any information at all." Bon didn't reveal that many of the people he had asked either shut their mouths from sheer obstinate loyalty to the old man or referred him to people who were dead. Aging was rare in Earth Sector, after all.

Sanji grimaced as he rubbed the soreness out of his calves, taking care to avoid the especially injured parts. "That shitty old man…wasn't much in his will. He just handed over the kitchen to the city, and of course it's gone to the dumps now." He snorted. "Nami thought we might be able to sell it—sell it! Can you imagine someone who would want to buy it in such a dump? So we left, found work, struggled to get to where we are now…if Nami hadn't been so savvy with the money, I'd probably still be working in Fire Sector washing dishes."

Bon stood and began to twirl absent-mindedly. "What happened to Baratie?" When Sanji didn't respond, he stopped and looked Sanji straight in the eye. "Darling, what's wrong?"

Sanji had stiffened up, his hands clenched into fists in his lap. "It took me a long time to remember where I had met that shitty old man. He saved my life…in many ways. I don't know what he was doing in Earth Sector that night. Maybe he was just looking for a fight, a way to end his life without giving that Sengoku guy any satisfaction. I was running, separated from the rest of the gang…and I heard someone fighting."

"_Is that the best you got, Kuzan?" Zeff roared. "I can still stand, you poor excuse for an Alpha!"_

"_Zeff, you ought to just give in. Sengoku's not going to give up on this issue," Aokiji said smoothly. "Ara, this is too troublesome…"_

"_Fuck Sengoku. I'm going to live peacefully out here, so let an old man have his rest," Zeff snapped, his leg nearly decapitating Aokiji._

"_Rest? In a place like this? You'll rest…that's for sure…" Aokiji snorted. "Maybe get knifed in the process, too."_

_Sanji watched from behind a trash bin. He had never seen anyone move like these two men. They were perfectly comfortable with their bodies, and were almost light-hearted in the fight. There was no malice here._

"_Aokiji, you're taking too long," a voice said from the shadows. "Finish him."_

_Sanji couldn't see the speaker. Aokiji must have recognized him, though. "Akainu, let me finish my job. You go and finish yours, ah?"_

_A low laugh rumbled from the darkness, making Sanji shudder in fear. "If you don't do yours, then I can't do mine, can I? Move aside."_

_Sanji didn't know what he was doing. He knew that the old man was in danger, and the thought terrified him—he couldn't die! He didn't know why, but he couldn't let that happen. He also didn't think that he couldn't do a damned thing about it, either. He ran into the clearing._

"_Shit! Where'd the kid come from?" Akainu cursed. Sanji felt something crash into the left side of his face, and he fell to the ground. He had never been in such blinding pain before. He supposed it was his fault for running out like that. "Well, I don't need any witnesses." Akainu's fist was drawn back, ready to deal the final blow._

"_Like hell!" Zeff ran forward and kicked Akainu away from Sanji. "Stupid kid, who the hell are you to try and interfere?"_

_Sanji managed to garble out something vaguely resembling the words "Couldn't let you die…dunno why."_

"_I'm not gonna die," Zeff snapped. "You still with me? Oi!"_

"_Akainu, Sengoku will be satisfied if Baratie is unable to compete, yes? Then I will take his weapon away," Aokiji said in a low voice. "You will confirm my report when I say that he will no longer be eligible to keep his title." His leg swung down in an axe kick._

_Sanji winced as he heard an almighty crunching sound. Zeff had put his leg up to protect the young boy._

"_Why…?" Sanji whimpered. "I've only just met you…" His skinny body shivered from fear and cold._

"_You…remind me of myself, a bit, kid. If there are idiots like you left out there then I've got to feed you, haven't I?" Zeff panted. He hid his leg from view. "Are you satisfied, Kuzan?"_

_Aokiji didn't answer; he merely turned away and disappeared in the shadows; Akainu did the same._

_Sanji fainted; he later found himself safely tucked in a warm, soft bed. A bowl of soup sat steaming next to him, with a small loaf of bread waiting to be eaten. He tore into the food, not caring about where he was or why—he was hungry. After eating his fill, he stole out the door, down the stairs, and into the street. It was cold outside, unlike the warm building that had smelled of delicious food and comfort. Still, he had a family—he couldn't abandon Nami and the gang. He soon forgot about the incident; he was young, after all, and the night had been traumatic. He pushed it back into the recesses of his mind, only to be recalled long after meeting the old man again._

Bon listened to the tale with tears streaming down his face. "That…that's tragic," he said softly. "So that is how Baratie lost his leg…"

Sanji nodded. "I think he was prepared to die that night. But…after he saw me, maybe he knew I'd be back eventually, whether I intended to go back or not. I don't know. He wasn't really good at talking about his emotions. Neither am I. But Aokiji must be a lot older than I am…and he's still strong as hell."

"Aokiji lived a double life for a long time," Zoro said, stepping through the doorway. He had been listening for the entirety of the story. "He was brought up under the government's eye as a promising secret agent. He still kept the name Kuzan for his private matters, and that's the name he used to receive his titles. However, he abandoned it altogether during the Poneglyph incidents."

Sanji jumped; he hadn't expected Zoro to be around. "That's where I knew the name from!" Sanji slapped his forehead in frustration. "It was driving me mad, trying to remember. He's—he's not that old though, is he? He didn't seem to be…and how did you know that about his name? And why are you here? Were you eavesdropping? Do you want to die, shitty marimo?"

"One question at a time," Zoro said, casually flicking off Sanji. "Robin?"

The curvaceous woman stepped in after Zoro. "Oh, Zoro, I was hoping to leave without him being too embarrassed. It's not easy to share a hard past, especially when people keep popping up unexpectedly," Robin said. "Zoro invited me to the dojo to figure out how to…I believe his exact words were 'figure out how to make you happy again.'"

Zoro turned red. "Oi, Robin, was that really necessary?"

Robin ignored him. "Anyways, if Aokiji has entered the game, then…that is very bad." Her face suddenly darkened. "There is no doubt that if he identifies himself with the Letters, then the government and the Letters are collaborating. If that is so, then things will become very complicated very quickly."

"Will they?" Another voice interrupted them from the doorway. "How so?"

_Shit, how many surprise visitors are we going to get?_ Sanji thought in exasperation. His heart nearly stopped when he saw the afro floating near the ceiling, the tall, lean figure, the pinstriped suit…

Robin's face was dead white. "Kuzan?"

Aokiji looked around at the small gathering. "Fate is cruel…" he murmured.

---

A/N: Finally! Another chapter! I know it's been a while. And EOS hasn't been updated in eons either. But…college…aiya. It's really terrible. I'm sorry! Very very sorry! But here it is. It has been a while, so there may be some, um…timeline discontinuities and inconsistencies in storyline, perhaps (it's hard to keep track of everything!) so please let me know if something seems to be off. Thank you for continuing to read, and thanks especially to pirategaara for giving me a burst of inspiration. Your words were very encouraging.


	19. Chapter 19

Zoro caught Robin when her legs crumpled under her. "What the fuck are you doing here? Going to try and off one of us?" he snarled at Aokiji. "Just because I don't have my swords doesn't mean I can't take you." He glowered at the taller man, his muscles tense and ready to spring.

"Relax. I came to check on the young Baratie," Aokiji said, putting his hands up in a motion of peace. "I am not your enemy."

"Aren't you?" Sanji stood on his good leg; he was strong enough in either that he didn't tremble, and even managed to light a cigarette while balancing on one leg. "From what I've heard, you haven't exactly been a gentleman, either." He took a deep pull from the cigarette and blew the smoke into Aokiji's face. The older man was unperturbed.

"Are you familiar with the practices of acupressure?" Aokiji asked, coming closer to Sanji. "Relax, Baratie! I am not here as one of Sengoku's men…not today, at least."

"Very reassuring, you bastard," Sanji replied shortly. Cigarette between his lips, he sprung into a backflip and landed just out of Aokiji's reach. "Why don't you tell me what you've got in mind before you lay your hands on me?" He balanced himself on one foot easily, smoking his cigarette as though he hadn't just performed an amazing set of acrobatics.

Aokiji blinked sleepily. "Ara ara, if that's the way you want to be, then that's fine." He folded his long legs beneath himself and sat on the floor. "What will it take for you to trust me?"

"Why don't you replace the old man's leg?" Sanji hissed, nearly cleaving his cigarette in two between his teeth. "Oh, wait, you _can't,_ because he's _dead."_

"I may not be able to replace his leg, but I can mend yours. There is still time," Aokiji said. "Although the nerves and blood flow to your legs are faulty at the moment, I can repair them now. If you wait much longer, you will have to amputate as the pain gets worse."

"Why are you helping me?" Sanji asked suspiciously.

Aokiji pulled out a crumpled envelope from his back pocket. "Read this. Orders from Sengoku to patch you up in time to compete."

Sanji perused the letter. It was short and to the point; apparently, Sengoku was not a man of many words when addressing those directly under his command. "Marimo."

"Yeah?" Zoro had has arms around Robin, making sure she felt safe.

"You think we can trust this guy?"

Zoro looked down at Robin. "I can't really say—if he was wily enough to fool Robin for so long, then I'm not going to trust my instincts."

"What do your instincts say?"

Zoro paused before saying, "Trust him."

Sanji nodded. He could sense no ulterior motives to the man's actions. "Mine, too. Alright, do your magic—but just remember that I still have one good leg if you try any funny business, okay?"

Aokiji nodded, already rubbing his hands together to warm them up. "You'll have to lie flat on your back. Legs straight." Sanji obeyed; he didn't have a choice, if he wanted his leg to be in shape for the tournament. "Ready? Brace yourself."

Sweat beaded on Sanji's forehead the moment Aokiji touched his leg, and he was not gentle by any means. Aokiji seemed to be targeting the tenderest areas, using his palms and fingertips to send spears of pain up and through Sanji's entire body. Sanji snapped his jaw shut and clenched his fists in his pockets, refusing to let a single squeak past his lips. Zoro watched with pursed lips; it wasn't hard to see that Sanji was in immense pain.

Just when Sanji thought he would black out, Aokiji stopped. "Done," he sighed, running a hand through his afro. "You might be a little sore, but you should be able to move normally. Try it out?"

Sanji took a deep breath and leapt to his feet, bracing himself.

He felt fine.

"It's better!" Sanji crowed in delight, forgetting himself for a moment to jump into a series of flips and kicks. He had missed the feeling of freedom afforded by the support of both legs; the first few days had been unbearable. "Zoro, I can _jump! _Shit, I can probably—" A single aerial brought Sanji up to Zoro's nose. "—kick your ass right now!" His body was pure joy at the rediscovery of his abilities. Only reflex saved Zoro from the leg that came whipping up towards his sternum.

"You should be careful…" Aokiji said idly as he watched Sanji and Zoro squabble with their fists.

"Damned eyebrow!"

"Freakin' marimo!"

"…because your legs still need to adjust to the new blood flowing through them," Aokiji continued. "It should only last for another thirty minutes, though." He turned around and sauntered out the door, slipping a business card into Robin's hand as he left.

Sanji's eyes widened as his leg buckled under him, giving Zoro the opportunity to put him in a headlock. In the commotion, the conflicting emotions on Robin's face as she read the card went unnoticed by the two men.

Sanji walked.

He walked, he strolled, he sauntered. Easily, on both legs. He never realized that the loss of his legs would affect him so profoundly, or that their recovery would give him so much pleasure.

He kicked.

"Ouch! What was that for, asshole?" Zoro roared, rubbing his thigh.

He ran.

Robin stepped out of her Lexus and looked up at the quietly classy restaurant positioned beside the ocean. A few hardy plants climbed up the gray walls and around the sign that read _Spice Bean. _She passed her key to the valet and gave him her customary warning look before striding through the black double doors that led into the restaurant.

The interior was just as unassuming as the exterior. The large dining room was softly lit and decorated in seashell whites, blacks, and grays touched with a little gold and blue here and there. The maitre d' looked up when he saw her, but he had been trained well enough not to react too indecorously to gorgeous women walking through those doors.

Robin smiled and handed him a white business card. She tucked her long hair behind one ear and smoothed an invisible wrinkle from the burgundy evening gown she wore.

The maitre d' swallowed, but managed to keep his composure. "Right this way, madame. Tajio will take you to your table." The freckled, bespectacled waiter bowed and led her past the other tables to a secluded area in the back of the restaurant, beside a window. Tall potted plants with wide leaves and thick stalks protected the area from the prying eyes of the other patrons.

"Would you like anything to drink? Perhaps something from our wine list?" Tajio asked, handing her the menus.

"I'll have a glass of the same as my friend here is drinking," Robin requested politely. Tajio bowed and left her alone with Aokiji.

"I thought you might not come," Aokiji remarked softly, peering at her over a glass of red wine.

"I wasn't going to come, but…" Robin looked out the window. The sun was crawling quickly towards the horizon, casting a dazzling array of unlikely hues of light through the glass.

"You have questions." It was a statement, not an inquiry.

"Yes. Something is going to happen in Sengoku's tournament. I want to know what, and whether my friends will be safe," Robin stated flatly. "Furthermore, I want to know what mischief you have been up to over the years."

"Ara ara, you ask a lot of me," Aokiji said, putting his hands up. "Even before the appetizers have arrived, to boot. This tournament will be special, but there are political lines you could never have imagined being redrawn."

"Your calamari, sir. And a glass of wine for the lovely lady," Tajio said, returning. "Have you decided on your meals, or would you like a little more time?"

"I'll have the braised black cod, please," said Aokiji.

Robin had not even opened her menu yet. "The Columbian salmon, if you will. A tad less mustard dill sauce than the good chef normally puts, please." Tajio bowed and disappeared again.

"You've been here before, I see."

"I was here when it was the Baratie. Zeff has taught these chefs well, and they faithfully keep his old recipes on the menu." She sipped her wine. "Political lines. What do you mean?"

Aokiji sighed and looked around. There was no one within eavesdropping distance. "Why should I trust you with this information?"

"Because once upon a time I trusted you with my life, and you saved and betrayed me." Robin's face showed no emotion.

He sighed again, more heavily. "You must not speak of this to another person. There's only one week until the tournament—you can say whatever you like after it."

"It won't matter after the tournament, will it?"

"Precisely."

"Fine. Go on."

Aokiji folded his large hands on the table. "Your friend, Portgas. He doesn't like the Letters much, does he?"

"He enjoys the benefits of being at the top, but not the process of getting there," Robin replied delicately. "But then again, who doesn't? We become absurdly wealthy because of skills affirmed by an anonymous organization whose words have been taken as credible for as long as any of us can remember. What does he have to do with this?"

"Let's just say that there was an Alpha who was not content with the status quo. A savior to the lower Letters, if you will imagine…Someone who wouldn't mind losing the benefits of his station to give every underdog a chance." Aokiji waited for her to make the connection.

"Ace empathizes with them because he was once in their position," Robin said, realization dawning upon her. "But before he could make his mark on the world himself, he was _given_ the Alpha position and automatically gained everything he wanted. He has always been unsure of himself, because he didn't want to compromise what he had or his desire to make it on his own."

"Very good, Robin Nico. Now, ask yourself—does Portgas seem to be the person to do things on his own, or will he try and find allies?"

That was a tricky question. "On one hand, he won't want to compromise his friends…on the other hand, he's not the type to be a loner, either."

"Sengoku will let him enter the tournament, and all of his friends. The sole purpose for this decision is to enable us to keep a closer eye on him and to be able to act accordingly."

Robin paused, a piece of calamari poised before her lips. "Act accordingly?"

Aokiji didn't respond. He ate the fried squid without saying another word until the meal came. The two ate, exchanged polite pleasantries, and split the bill. The burning questions on Robin's mind had been replaced with one objective.

She had to talk to Ace before he did anything foolish.

"Ace!" Luffy whined, hanging upside-down over the bed as he looked at his older brother. "Where are you going?"

Ace adjusted the garish orange tie around his neck as he inspected his reflection in the mirror. "Can't tell you, little brother. You'd just go and blab to everyone."

"Aaaace!"

"You'll see, 'k? I promise it won't be long." Satisfied with his appearance, Ace left Luffy in his room and went out the door, grabbing his keys on the way out.

Luffy pouted to himself at the sound of the slamming door. He spied something on the floor beside Ace's discarded pajamas.

"Ace! You forgot your phone!" Luffy grabbed it and ran to the hallway, but his brother was already gone. "Hmph. He must have been in a rush."

Across the city, Robin was frantically calling Ace from her car. "Pick up, you silly boy, pick up!"

Luffy looked at the vibrating phone in his hand. There were five missed calls, and one incoming call. He pressed 'talk.'

"Moshi-moshi!"

"Luffy!" Robin's heart fluttered in panic again. "Where's Ace?"

"Dunno. He just went out, dressed all snazzy and stuff. He forgot his phone at home."

"Quickly, Luffy—where is he going?"

"He wouldn't say. He promised he I'd see soon enough or something." Luffy began to pick his nose absent-mindedly. "If you're in the area you might see him. I think he took his motorcycle, 'cause the car keys are still here."

"Thank you, Luffy." Robin turned the wheel sharply and made her way towards Galley-La. She wracked her brain for ideas as she tried to think of who Ace would trust with the mission he was going to carry out. If he didn't trust Luffy with the task, then it must be a very different crowd from the one they were accustomed to. She found the first number on her speed dial list and pressed the 'talk' button.

A panting voice on the other end responded. _"Hello?"_

"Hello, Zoro. This is urgent—are you at Galley-La?"

There was a grunting sound, coupled with a yelp. _"Yeah, sort of."_

"'Sort of' won't cut it, Zoro. What are you doing?" she demanded, losing patience.

"_Sanji's here."_

"Ah. I need you two to extricate yourselves from each other for a minute. Can you sweep the area and look for Ace? He might be on his motorcycle."

Zoro sighed as he looked at the phone. He had been _this_ close to initiating the first preliminary steps to 'maybe can we have a little bit of sex even a blowjob would be nice?'

Few would call Zoro a pussy, but he feared the day was coming when he would be mocked for his inability to start things with the prissy-cook, of all people. Plus, he wanted it really badly.

"_Okay, Robin. We'll do one better—we'll pull the aerocraft out."_

Robin ended the conversation, feeling a little less anxious. She had forgotten that he could search from the skies.

"Oi, shit cook! Robin has a chore for us!"

"The lovely, rosy Robin?" Sanji was about to launch into a repertoire of nauseating endearments when Zoro put a finger to his lips.

"Hush. It sounded urgent. Let's go rev up the aerocraft—I'll fly, you'll search. We're looking for Ace. Possibly on his bike. Okay?"

Sanji nodded. "Let's do this shit, then."

Five minutes later, they were out the door and in the air.

"Fuck, I forgot how freaky this is," Sanji mumbled, pushing Zoro's swords down. "Did we really have to bring these?"

"What was that, cook?"

"I said fuck, you suck at flying, and your sticks are in my way."

Zoro did a loop in the air.

"Okay! Stop!"

Zoro grinned. "Look for Ace, then. Robin, you there?" he yelled into the Bluetooth secured firmly to his ear. He had decided to keep a constant stream of conversation up with Robin in case either of them made any headway.

"_I can hear you perfectly well, Zoro. Do you see him yet?"_

"Not yet. Any idea which direction he might have gone?"

"_I was hoping you could just listen for the sound of a motorcycle. There can't be that many around Galley-La at this time, can there?"_

"True. Better slow down so we can hear better, then…" Zoro hovered in the air, scanning the streets. Unfortunately, it was dark; the sun had already set.

"Look for a single tail light," Sanji said. "Cars will have two, but he should only have one."

Zoro squinted at the streets. Rush-hour traffic had already passed, thankfully.

"There!" Sanji cried. "Three o'clock!"

"Looks like he's heading towards Earth Sector," Zoro whistled. "Robin, he just passed the old IKEA and is heading towards the heart of Earth Sector."

"_Roger that. I'm going to follow him."_

"Into Earth Sector? Screw that—we'll follow him, and you bring reinforcements." He paused. "Why are we following him, by the way?"

"_We'll find out the answer once we stop him," _Robin replied. _"I'll call Luffy and the others, then. Believe me, this is very, very important. If you catch him, try to stall him. Tell him we know about his plans to undermine the Letters."_

"What?" Zoro yelped into the Bluetooth. "Robin, what the hell are you talking about?" She had already hung up. "Damnit…"

"What's going on?" Sanji asked.

"I'm about to speed up. Hold on tight, sweetie."

"Oh, f—" The obvious profanity that followed was lost in the rush of air as Zoro pressed the limits of the aerocraft. They were fast, but Ace was going fast as well. He also seemed to be mindful of followers, and weaved down alleyways and side streets at alarming speeds.

They didn't catch up to Ace until he had stopped in front of a dubious-looking nightclub. The doors were wide open, revealing a clientele that was even more suspect. All in all, it was a fishy situation.

"I didn't think Ace hung out with this kind of crowd," Sanji whispered into Zoro's ear as they lighted down on the parking structure beside the club. From this vantage point, they could see that they name of the club was _Moby Dick._

"You know this place, don't you?" Zoro muttered in return. Sanji nodded. Everyone in Earth Sector knew about this place's existence; finding it and getting in was another story.

"How does Ace know about it, though?"

"No idea."

"We should wait for reinforcements."

"You're not scared, are you?" Zoro asked tauntingly. "C'mon, we can get in, no problem. We know how this place works."

"Yeah, but the others won't be able to get in, and I don't want someone like Luffy forcing his way through," Sanji said patiently.

"Good point. Let's wait, then."

It wasn't long until a line of expensive cars that did not belong in Earth Sector pulled up to the club. One of the drivers spotted Zoro and pulled into the parking structure before the parade drew too much attention.

Zoro looked over the 'reinforcements.' Naturally, Robin was there, as was Luffy. Franky and Brooke were reliable, but he looked skeptically at Usopp, Chopper, and Nami.

"Tashigi was on duty, but she said to call her if we need the pigs to break anything up. She and Helmoppo are nearby," Robin explained, correctly interpreting Zoro's incredulous look. "Zoro, I would not unnecessarily bring anyone into this business if I could help it."

"What business is this, anyways? You had better explain yourself," Zoro said harshly. "The more I look at this situation, the stranger it seems."

Robin took a deep breath. "I have word from a reliable source that Ace may be trying to get rid of, or at least revolutionize the Letters. It makes sense, if you think about it—he has never been happy with the system or the society it has inevitably created."

"What reliable source is this?" Nami asked. As a newspaper editor, she was always wary of anonymous sources.

Robin hesitated. "I—cannot say. He's someone I trusted with my life."

Zoro's ears perked up at the past tense. "Aokiji." Robin nodded mutely. "Robin…"

"What reason would he have for warning us?" Robin tried to reason, her hands folding and unfolding.

"Maybe he wants us to get rid of his problem without having to dirty his hands. You know, internal strife…messy for us, clean for him," Sanji noted. "Just saying. You don't get to the top without learning a few nasty tricks."

"There's only one way to find out, isn't there? We have a week until the tournament—less, even, since the day is almost done." Robin pointed down at the club. "If you don't want to go, that's fine. I was planning on confronting him myself, but had no way of contacting him until now. If you want to come with me, I will be very grateful, but don't take that as pressure."

The group was silent until Franky stepped beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"I'm with you, babe. I've got to kick that punk's ass for making you worry this much," he said, his sunglasses glinting under the streetlamps as they sat on his forehead.

"And I can't let a lady enter that hellhole without protecting her," Brooke said, joining the duo.

Sanji blinked. "By that logic…" He joined them.

One by one, Zoro was the only one left standing next to Nami.

"Hey, I don't have any investments in this," Nami said, looking at Zoro.

"Your boyfriend's brother?" Zoro asked, leaving Nami as the last man out. She rolled her eyes and reneged.

"Fine, but I forgot to bring a silencer for my pistol," she sighed, patting the firearm that was hidden under her jacket.

The _Moby Dick_ had never seen such clientele.

"We've got a party of nine," Robin said with her most charming, enigmatic smile at the bouncer. He looked over the mix of serious and playful faces, and did a double take when he saw the swords at Zoro's side. Robin leaned over slightly, revealing her full cleavage and the lacy top of a racy bra.

They stepped into the club without further trouble.

"Where do you think he'll be?" Franky asked, looking around. It would be impossible to find a single person in this crowd. "Luffy, what was he wearing when he left?"

"Ummm…a black shirt. And an orange tie?" Luffy strained his memory as he tried to remember.

"That's good enough. Let's split up into groups of three, and text everyone if you find him," Robin said, running off with Franky and Brooke.

Zoro and Sanji infiltrated the crowd with Luffy, looking high and low for a bright orange tie.

"I don't see him anywhere," Luffy said plaintively. "Are you sure he came in here?"

"Absolutely positive. You don't think he's upstairs, do you?" Zoro asked, pointing up. "Cipher Pol has an exclusive upstairs section. I don't see why even a place like this shouldn't have one." He had to yell over the sound of the pounding speakers and shrieking, drunken girls.

Luffy nodded in affirmation and sent out a mass text. _No Ace. Checkin' upstairs._

They made their way upstairs past the throngs of drunken clubbers and over spilt drinks.

"Private party going on up here," said another (significantly larger than the first) bouncer. "Buzz off, gentlemen."

"Did he just tell us to buzz off?" Sanji asked conversationally.

"I think he did," Zoro replied. "Luffy?"

Luffy's fist met the man's face before he had time to blink.

"Thanks, but we were invited. Unofficially," Luffy said, patting his fist. "I'm sorry I didn't show you the invitation earlier. Let's just call that our RSVP."

For dramatic effect, kicked-in doors work wonders.

"Maybe we should have just opened it the normal way," Sanji said, looking down the barrels of at least six guns pointed his way. "So we wouldn't die at a premature and handsome age."

"Shut it, cook." Zoro already had his swords out. "We can handle this."

"Guys?" Ace looked up in shock from where he was conferring with a behemoth of a man. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Who are these boys?" the giant asked, his wide white moustache quivering with every word.

"Sorry, Pop. They're just my friends. I didn't know they'd be swinging by." Ace frowned. "Seriously, what are you doing here?"

"Tell your _other_ friends to put their weapons down so we can talk," Zoro growled.

Ace waved a hand, and the guns were reluctantly put away. "You sheathe your swords too, man. Jesus Christ, that was a surprise."

"Why don't you tell us what you're doing with Whitebeard?" Sanji asked, pointing at the mustached man. "Or should I say…Edward Newgate?"

"How do you know me, kid?" Whitebeard asked, getting to his feet. Standing upright, the top of his head brushed the roof easily.

"My old man told me stories about you. You kept the peace, letting little shrimps like me run around without worrying about getting killed," Sanji said quietly.

"Who was your father?"

"Zeff Baratie."

"Ah, Zeff!" Whitebeard laughed a deep, rich laugh that shook the floorboards. "I heard he died a while back. Shame, really—he was a pretty damned good cook."

Sanji didn't flinch at the carefree way Whitebeard referenced Zeff's death. "What are you doing with this guy, Ace?"

"Just having a drink," Ace said smoothly. "Want one? Lucci might be an Alpha, but I bet Marco here could give him a run for his money." A man waved at them from the bar, his hair mussed up and his face neutral.

"Sure. As a matter of fact, we should celebrate—we've got a lot of important people here tonight." The sound of many people running up the stairs reached their ears. "Alphas and Betas, in fact. I'm sure you know them very well." Sanji gestured to the stairs behind them, where the rest of their group burst through the broken doors.

"Ace!" Luffy yelled, bounding through first. "We've been looking _everywhere_ for you!"

"How did you all find me, bro?" Ace asked in astonishment. "I went as fast as I could." He took one look at Franky. "Ah, it was that souped-up bike you built for Zoro, wasn't it?"

"Yep." Zoro looked around at Whitebeard's men. "So, I heard you're trying to start a revolution. Change the Letters or some shit like that."

"Don't tell me you're trying to protect that fucked-up system?" Ace shook his head. "I thought that you of all people would understand…"

"As much as I might disagree with the group, there isn't any other way for me to fulfill my promise to Kuina. You know that, Ace," said Zoro.

"If I were to hypothetically try to overturn the Letters, how would I do it?" Ace spread his arms wide. "Look, guys. Things are going to be fine. Don't worry."

"They're not forcing you to do anything, are they?" asked Luffy, stepping forward and rolling the sleeves of his jacket back. Despite the straw sandals and frayed cuffs of his denim shorts, Luffy looked less childlike and more threatening than he ever had.

"Luffy, step down," Ace growled. He stepped forward and placed a hand on Luffy's chest. "Don't get involved. I'm doing this for you—for everyone."

"This is your brother?" Whitebeard looked down his nose at Luffy's slim figure. "He looks just as much of a rascal as you described, but he's a bit scrawny, ain't he?"

"I'm strong," Luffy asserted. His voice was calm and confident.

Whitebeard regarded Luffy for a moment before scoffing.

"Get these whelps out of here."

"I'll see you guys at the tournament! Don't worry!" Ace called cheerfully as the group was ushered out of the room. The broken door slammed behind them, and the voices inside were too low to be heard clearly.

"Well, that was a stunning failure," Usopp said. "What do we do now?"

"That wasn't a failure," Robin said, her eyes gleaming. "To handle a man on Whitebeard's level, we're going to need a little support. Luffy, do you know if we could meet with your uncle tomorrow?"

"His uncle?" Sanji whispered to Zoro.

"I'll explain later. It's not a name to be said lightly in company like this," Zoro said, gesturing to the club. Sanji nodded.

"Uh-huh," Luffy nodded. "I'll call him tonight."

"Excellent. For now, it would be best if we returned to our own residences. Luffy, stay in contact with me until everything is arranged," Robin said. Everyone slipped out of the club and left Earth Sector in a hurry, feeling out of place.

"I became a chef so I wouldn't have to deal with politics. What are we going to do? Whatever he's planning, he's clearly doesn't intend to share it," Sanji stated flatly. He and Zoro sat in Sanji's apartment; both were too wired to sleep.

"Ace has always been a wild card. This is big even for him, though," Zoro said. "Right now, all we can do is wait for Luffy's call."

"Want some coffee?" Sanji asked. The next few days promised to be very tiring.

"Nah. Got any fruit juice? Better for maintaining energy levels."

Sanji poured them both glasses of orange juice and pulled a rough loaf of bread from the cabinet. "What do you know about Ace, anyways? You've known him much longer than I have, after all."

Zoro tore into the bread and sprayed crumbs all over the table, which Sanji cleaned up with a frown.

"He and Luffy were raised by their uncle and grandfather. Their dad got into a spot of trouble with the law a long time ago. No idea about their mom. Ace and Luffy had a rough childhood until Garp really took responsibility for their upbringing. Luffy was kind of an idiot in school but it doesn't really matter. Ace would have done well if he'd given a damn." Zoro took a gulp of orange juice, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I guess we should have seen something like this coming."

"Really? Why?"

"Their dad got in trouble for leading the group that tried to overthrow the Letters," Zoro replied. "Dragon the Revolutionary. You ever heard of him?"

Sanji choked on the juice in shock. "_The_ Dragon? He's their dad?"

"Yeah. Ace and Luffy took on their mother's maiden name."

"Next thing I know you're going to say their uncle is-Sengoku or someone."

"Nah, their uncle is Shanks."

Sanji rubbed his forehead wearily. "Shanks. Leader of the RH Group."

"Yep."

"The international company that deals in stocks and barely-illegal business ventures."

"That's the one."

"What. The. Fuck."

"I know, right? Blew my mind when I first heard it, too. I've never met the guy, though." Both men jumped when their cells rang at the same time. "Mass text? It's from Luffy… 'Meet at the corner of Seventh Street and Grand Line.' Hm…that's downtown, isn't it?"

"Pretty posh part of town," Sanji said. "I cater to them, sometimes. What's there?"

"Could be anything. C'mon, let's go," Zoro said, draining his glass and grabbing his jacket. "We're taking the aerocraft again."

"Oh, joy."

Although Navarone's residential areas were quiet at this time of night, downtown Navarone never slept. Flying over the grid of lights and skyscrapers was like flying over an enormous motherboard. Zoro ignored the stares from bar hoppers and socialites as he lighted down beside the cluster of cars waiting near the corner of 7th and Grand Line.

"What's going on?" Zoro asked the group who had disbanded not long ago. Luffy held his straw hat down with one hand, looking up at the enormous building sitting on the corner of the two streets.

"Shanks told us to meet him here," Luffy said quietly. "The main headquarters of the RH Group." They all looked up at the bright logo blazing dozens of floors above them.

"So…do we just, uh, walk in?" Chopper asked. "I feel a little underdressed." He was still wearing his hospital scrubs.

"Yeah. Now that we're all here, we can go in," Luffy said. He walked up to the pair of glass doors and pushed them open, leading the march inside.

"I'm surprised the doors are still open at this time. It's past midnight," Sanji mused to Usopp. Usopp didn't respond; he looked grey in the face and slightly queasy. "Usopp? Something the matter?" Chopper automatically turned around, ears perking up at the sound of a potential patient.

"It's nothing," Usopp muttered. "Let's just get this over with."

They passed the empty receptionist's desk and stood in front of the elevators. There were no up or down buttons. A keycard reader waited. Luffy pulled a card from his wallet and swiped it; the elevator opened with a chime.

"Floor?" Franky asked, squished against the wall near the floor buttons. It was a large elevator, but they were also a large group.

Luffy's arm snaked through and pressed the gold button engraved with a P.

"Penthouse? Fancy schmancy," Franky said. "Oi, give a brother a little room here, will you?"

The elevator was fast, and the ride surprisingly short. The elevator doors opened to a sprawling penthouse that definitely housed a bachelor. Luffy stepped through the foyer and into the lounge where the sound of music, chatting, and clinking glasses could be heard.

"What's this Shanks guy like?" Sanji asked as the followed. "Because I don't know about you, but I feel like the kind of guy who lives here must be really serious and sophisticated."

"LUUUUFFY! WHY DON'T YOU EVER VISIT ME?" a slurring voice bellowed.

Men in various states of drunkenness were splayed across the room like seals on a beach. A crate filled with (mostly empty) fast food wrappers sat on a table carved from white oak. Someone was doing a keg stand in the corner. Luffy was held in a firm, one-armed headlock by a red-haired man on the floor.

Shanks looked up at the newcomers and wiped a line of drool from his mouth, trying to act a little more decorously in front of guests.

"Ah, you must be Luffy's friends. So, what can I help you with, kiddo?" Shanks asked, plopping Luffy upright beside him and trying to look very serious. It failed; his eyes kept crossing.

"I told you about Ace," Luffy said. "He's strong, but he's going to make the same mistake as…"

"As your father did?" Shanks finished gently. He seemed to be sobering up quickly. "Planning to overthrow the Letters and all that jazz?" Luffy nodded. "Okay, what are we up against? What do we know about their plans?"

"We know that Ace is collaborating with Whitebeard and his men," Robin supplied. "As for their plans, we are fairly sure that it revolves around Sengoku's upcoming tournament. Alphas and Alpha-hopefuls will gather from all around the world, not only to compete but also because that is the very nature of the competition. To bring the best. Every pertinent Alpha has been invited to the competition."

"Whitebeard makes things tricky," Shanks sighed. "Ben, how many altercations have we had with them?"

"Financial or physical?" the man beside Shanks asked, already tapping at the touch screen of his iPhone.

"Both. Either."

Ben shrugged. "Financially, it's hard to tell how many were from the Whitebeard family directly and how many were from his puppets. Physically it's the same…but more than all our other competitors combined."

"He has vast resources, and much influence," Shanks said. "Sengoku's competition will be big. There's a big generational leap that's going on here, and I don't have any doubts that he'll try to guide it in the 'right' direction." He stood, revealing a stump where his other arm should have been. "This is going to be a delicate operation…everyone, gather around."

A/N: Poor ending to this chapter, but I was in a bit of a rush to get it out. So I have been bad. Very bad. Very, very bad. So bad that while I'm sure I had a set plan for this story, I have forgotten it by now. Yeah. I'm really winging it. I had to go back and reread the whole damned thing-which was longer than I thought it was-and then find a way to wrap it all up. Yes, the next chapter will be the last. I had grander plans for this, I'm sure, but I know I won't be able to carry them out. I'll also be wrapping up EOS as soon as I figure out what the hell is going on in it.

But I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There are reviewers that need thanking, feedback that needs consideration…sigh. Just know that I save all the emails with the reviews and read them in my idle time…


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